topic Triggers in PTSD and trauma

Triggers

PamelaR — Tue, 24 Jul 2018 23:09:37 GMT

Hi all

Started this thread to get a discussion going about triggers. Honestly, I have nothing planned as such for the thread.

I am interested though in how people manage themselves once triggered.

I was recently triggered by hearing an neighbour’s scream that sounded like she could have been sexually assaulted. Someone called the police and when I popped in to see her the next day. My hand of friendship was rejected.

it’s taken me over 2 weeks to realise this was a trigger. I’d been putting it down to other things. But I couldn’t stop my -racing heart, grumpiness, withdrawal from everyone, leading to lack of energy and interest in doing things.

The triggers were many

* thought of someone being sexually assaulted

* feeling of rejection

* feeling of my inability to save someone in distress

Now that I ‘be identified these. I can address each one in turn and hopefully move on and out of the depression I could feel starting to take hold.

Has anyone out there a story to share about their triggers, how they identify them, or the difficulties in doing that.

I finally identified this recent bout, by not sleeping. My palpitations were so bad, so I went over everything that’s happened in the last few weeks. There had been a couple of things I looked at but still couldn’t settle. Then I found it. Wow my heart lifted, stopped running. Can now think of positive thoughts, things to do.

The relief of identifying cause is almost instantaneous.

Now to put on that slow cook, make some gluten-free blueberry muffins. My reward!

that’s it for now.

PamelaR

Triggers

romantic_thi3f — Wed, 25 Jul 2018 02:29:31 GMT

Hi,

Thanks for your post - and what an important one! As someone with trauma I can echo that triggers are hard.

Hmm I’m not sure if I have a story - but I can share what I do in case it helps anyone else.

A huge key for me is knowing that something is a trigger. This isn’t easy and it’s the hardest part. For such a long time I was consistently wired because I had no idea that I was actually in a traumatic state. I just felt sad and didn’t even know that I had trauma or was ‘worthy of having trauma’. So that’s taken me a really long time. I’m still even now finding things that might be a trigger.

If I do feel like I’ve noticed one, the next step is figuring out how it feels - what thoughts/memories/sensations are coming to my mind? I learned this one on my own but I think it’s important to help recognise what’s going on. Do I/you feel sad? A knot in your stomach? Throat closing up? The memory of something happening?

It depends what the trigger was, but the final part is making myself feel safe. Sometimes, that might look like a grounding exercise (things that I can smell, see, touch, hear), or a body scan exercise. The good thing about these ones is that they’re subtle so nobody has to know you are doing them! If it’s a bad one, I like to sit on the floor and curl up until it’s not so intense.

This is a long post but I think the two biggest takeaways (that I wish I’d known) are 1. See if you can recognise it because that’s half the battle and 2. Validate it. Be kind to yourself, because this isn’t easy. I’m still trying to learn that one.

Speaking of which, PamelaR can you send muffins?

Triggers

GemAndLogan — Wed, 25 Jul 2018 06:10:28 GMT

Hi PamelaR : )

Thank you for sharing and for starting this discussion! Its good for people to know that they are not the alone in dealing with triggers.

My PTSD is an ongoing struggle in that I rarely feel safe when I am alone, I don't let it stop me from living my life but sometimes the day to day is quite stressful and by the end of it, I am exhausted.

Redirecting my thoughts when triggered is what I find most helpful, often I'l get my phone out and look at photos or read sweet messages from my partner that I have saved (under the folder "look at when you feel crap" haha). As romantic_thi3f said, body scans are also really helpful for me too.

Even though each day is hard, my life is so good now compared to what it has been in the past and I'm lucky that my physical and mental wounds are manageable as other people are not so lucky.

Thanks again PamelaR

Take care

Gem

Triggers

smallwolf — Wed, 25 Jul 2018 22:36:03 GMT

I do not have PTSD or Trauma (at least to my knowledge), but am very familiar with triggers.

That last part you mentioned is the hardest. I will repeat it here... "Validate it. Be kind to yourself, because this isn’t easy".

Three weeks ago, the new term started at Uni. As I might have said elsewhere some statements were made in class in which left me feeling judged. Associated with that feeling of being judged was the feeling of not belonging and misunderstood. It took a week to get over that, along with wanting to disappear (this was the assoc. with thoughts of not belonging!)

For me the worst part was that in that week my distraction tools did not really work. My thoughts could easily interfere with my tools, either games, or music or ...

But this is why I have a psychologist. To work out how to get through those moments.

Triggers

PamelaR — Sat, 28 Jul 2018 05:42:52 GMT

Hi everyone

Thank you everyone for participating in the thread.

Hey Romatic - muffins coming your way now. LOL. You are so right about - recognising the trigger is half the battle. And more importantly validating it is essential to help move on. Triggers are real aren’t they.

Gem, warm welcome to you - thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know what you mean about PTSD being an ongoing struggle. Though, I’ve found it so rewarding now that I’m able to manage myself when it the triggers happen. I really like your idea of going through your phone to look at photos and sweet messages. That’s lovely.

Tim - I see from other posts you like hot chocolate. Lovely isn’t it. Feelings of being judged is the pits. I’ve lived most of my life with that feeling. Though usually it’s only me doing the judging, not really the other people. It’s the stories that I’ve told myself from a very very young age. These stories have stayed inside my head and helped shape my core beliefs about myself.

Know what you mean about distraction tools not working. When this happens for me, it’s generally because I’ve not identified what it is that has really triggered me. One of the major things that I’ve learnt is - the trigger is generally about a core belief of myself (one I’ve created from what’s happened around me as a child, teenager, young adult).

Triggers come at the most unexpected times. I remember once being in a training session at a table with 3 other people doing a practical session. There were three triggers -

the session leader made a huge loud bang noise with his hands and his voice
the person sitting next to me had on a red and blue checked shirt

there other people at the table were all males.

This incident sparked a very massive panic attack, anxiety that kept me from work for over a week and a half. Once I’d settled and worked out what triggered me, that was 1 1/2 weeks later, I was able to talk to my boss and tell her what had happened in the session. She was so good.

I haven’t had any similar things happen for a long time now. Thank goodness. I think that’s because I’ve worked through most of my old traumas and know what they are…..for now.

For me, I’m stubborn. Very stubborn and something like this is never going to beat me.

Would love to hear your stories about the best way you have of managing your triggers.

Kind regards
PamelaR

Triggers

Sandhi — Sat, 28 Jul 2018 06:07:04 GMT

Hi PamelaR thankyou for your post on identifing triggers.I really havent thought that much about what triggers my low mood, inability to think clearly or be positive. I had post natal depression diagnosed after my 2nd child. That my psychiatrist then diagnosed me years later with bipolar disorder. This was 30yrs ago. My psychiatrist didn't give me skills to deal with my anxiety and depression just pills. He said I didn't need a psychologist,I did see a couple of psychologists who didn't seem to teach me a lot although I found psychologists much more helpful. My psychiatrist dismissed my need for them often so I quit seeing them. I do desperately want to learn how to get back to positively thinking and being productive more quickly.

Sandhi

Triggers

Guest8901 — Sat, 28 Jul 2018 06:36:55 GMT

Hi Pamela and thanks for another very helpful and informative thread here in the PTSD section.

With the assistance of my psych over the past few months, I am managing to identify some of the triggers which spark my PTSD symptoms. Its funny, until I was diagnosed with PTSD and spoke intensively to my psych and followed it up with research online, I didnt even know what a MH-related 'trigger' was.

For me, my triggers are many, although the main one seems to be when I find myself in a situation where I feel powerless. Where I have no control of the situation or what happens to me.

Others are when I am physically alone. This is a difficult one for me to manage because I tend to be a loner by nature. Plus my husband is battling a terminal illness. Another trigger for me is to feel unheard or voiceless. Another is hearing loud noises, including shouting or arguments.

But it's probably the unexpected ones which affect me the worst, perhaps because I dont understand whats happening or why I have the physical and mental reaction that I do. Some triggers may initially seem extremely obscure, but upon further analysis, I can eventually see the reasons behind the reaction.

Once triggers are identified, it definitely becomes easier to manage the 'fallout' from them. And again, my psych is helping me to develop coping methods to help in that management process. Sometimes that can be to simply acknowledge and accept that a trigger has occurred, and to go gentle with yourself until things settle.

Sandhi - your post just came through. I will let Pamela welcome you properly, since this is her thread, but just a quick hello and welcome from me.

Amanda

Triggers

PamelaR — Sat, 28 Jul 2018 08:15:01 GMT

Hi Sandhi and a very warm welcome to the Beyond Blue forums

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s good you’ve felt comfortable to be able to write here.

Thinking positive isn’t as easy as one thinks. It just doesn’t happen like that (a click of the fingers). There’s a lot of hard work to be done. If you think about all the years you’ve had negative experiences and all the triggers that go along with these. They are caught up in your body, mind and soul. It takes a while for the process of elimination to happen. So until that happens, the triggers remain and help to spiral one down.

But be assured once you begin to 'recognise the triggers', 'validate the triggers' (i.e. to acknowledge that having the trigger is valid), 'begin to change your core beliefs that help to trigger' - oh you won't know yourself. The joy of life will begin once again.

My heart goes out to you. You sound a wonderful mum. Someone who takes steps to move forward.

Finding the right psychologist and psychiatrist can often be easy, but sometimes it can be difficult. For me, it’s a little bit of trying. If it works, great, if not, I’m back to the doctor to get a referral to another one. It’s okay to do that. Each of the health professionals have their own style, we’re all individuals - so one size does not fit all.

I am a little surprised that you’ve not been given tools to help your thinking.

Are you interested in finding some tools? If so, the Centre for Clinical Intervention at the University of Western Australia has published a range of mental health self-help workbooks on their website. No pressure for you to do so, just if you want to have a look.

Also, did you know that you can go to your gp and ask to go on a mental health plan (MHP) and get a referral to a psychologist (you don’t need to go through a psychiatrist). Being on a MHP means having 10 bulk billed visits to a psych. There are one or two psychs out there who bulk bill, if you can’t find one, then you’ll just pay the difference.

If you want to, go to the BB search field at the top of the page and enter - Find a professional. It gives you links to different directories, so you can take your choice of which health professional you want to see.

Have you thought about starting your own thread on one of the forums? You’re very welcome to do so. This will give you the opportunity for people to reply directly to you.

Kind regards
PamelaR

Triggers

PamelaR — Sat, 28 Jul 2018 08:33:07 GMT

Hi Mandy
Lovely to have you pop in! Thank you for your very informative post about your triggers. I do check into your thread every now and again to see how you’re travelling and to see that you’re not alone. There are some very good people there to help you. It’s beautiful to see.

Yes, you’ve done a lot of work Mandy. Very proud of you and how far you’ve come in the past 7-8 months (i.e. since I’ve been a member of the forums).

When you say ‘it’s probably the unexpected ones [i.e. triggers] which affect me the worst’ - I can relate to that very much.

In hindsight, I think it’s because I have to be in control. It’s that power thing. That sense of being powerless because I don’t know what’s caused it - it is frightening and triggering in itself. Complex isn’t it?

I still get triggered, as you can see by my opening post. Though for me, with each trigger comes a new learning. Something more I can add into my tool kit of self help! Because, while the trigger is not immediately known in some instances - the fact it has shown itself becomes a memory to store for next time.

You know the more I’m talking about this, the more resolved I get to not let these ‘triggers’ beat me. I can feel my heels digging firmly into the ground, chin out.

It’s my thoughts you’ve progressed marvellously Mandy. Perhaps you may not see it, or feel it. But from an outsider I can see your improvement - very much. Keep up the good work.

Kind regards
PamelaR

Triggers

Guest8901 — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 11:43:04 GMT

Pamela there is no improvement, no progress. I'm a failure. Your faith in me was unfounded.

I'm afraid. Too many triggers .. I'm surrounded by them. I cant stop them. I cant do anything. The fear takes over and the mind and body gives in to it.

I wish things were different. Why why why

Triggers

Idkme — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 12:14:14 GMT

Oh Mandy,

my heart is melting reading this....

i stand beside you, propping up your drained soul as you walk. I will walk beside you.... look to your side and you will see others.... we are here.... we want to help.....

youre not alone.

Triggers

Guest8901 — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 12:45:12 GMT

thank you Idkme. You are a real treasure, someone wonderful to have here. You make a difference, for the good.

But Idkme ... I am alone, very much alone. Nobody knows what I go through, nobody knows me. And I cant tell them. Only my psych. The only one who knows everything. I'm surrounded by those who would do me harm. I feel it, I sense it, I know this. Its happened before.

Nothing I can do .. no chance.

Amanda

Triggers

Ggrand — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 21:02:32 GMT

Hello Amanda..

Im really concerned about your last post..

Are you safe?

Grandy..

Triggers

Idkme — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 21:29:52 GMT

Mandy,

i understand that feeling in my own way... the emptiness and hollowness of it all.... but you aren’t completely alone. We ARE here, we may not understand you completely but we ‘see’ you in a different way.... we can be there for you in a ‘safe’ way.

When I feel alone I read my books, they tell me to examine my negative connotations and search for the root of the feeling and it’s trigger. What created this sudden downturn and spiral down? Where will you land to springboard back up?

This is the time where I wish sometimes we could private message people encouraging things in person.... I understand the complication of it all but helping others is so good at helping ourselves.

Ive read so much of your other posts Mandy and you are amazing. I may not ‘know’ you, but I know your a great person who cares about a lot of people. You don’t deserve to feel alone and if I could I’d change that in a heart beat for you.

Please give yourself some love... a big self hug, do something for yourself that you enjoy.... put some loud music on and have a dance, or have a big cry.... give yourself permission to feel sad.... but then find the ‘adult’ inside you to draw you back up and nurture yourself.

Remember there are plenty of people to help you.... you are never alone.... there are gps, help lines, your psych, chat forums, online chat, YouTube, podcasts, books of help, stories of other survivors, a pet...., etc.

We care.... I care..... please find some resourcing and share with us so we know you are safe.....

can you tell us why you feel that way now? Do you have a thread you have ‘blogged’ Your journey on that we can read to help understand more?

still standing there.....

Triggers

Idkme — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 21:36:07 GMT

I had another thought too.....

Aloneness is not always negative, there is strength in being alone too.... sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by the people that are around me, I wish I could spend some alone time......

i love just sitting in the paddocks and watching the grass or the clouds as they pass, or sitting at the ocean.... or walking in the bush.... or sometimes driving with the music on loud.

One of my ‘safe’ memories is sitting on a river bank watching the river flow by letting it take my worries downstream and the word I think about is ‘harmony’. It’s my ‘special’ Word. I’m not a big fan of the word ‘peace’, it kind of lacks depth and feeling.

Do you have a similar memory and word? Does anyone else?

Triggers

Ggrand — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 22:00:39 GMT

Hello dearest Amanda,

Im really sorry about your triggers being everywhere, I can really relate to that as I also have triggers everywhere, whether I’m simply sweeping or vacuuming the floor,vwashing, making the bed, washing up, over such a long period of abuse these triggers are now everywhere in and around my home....outside, shopping everything thing to do with just living...

I have learnt that these triggers will always be here, they won’t go away, but we need to be able to recognise a possible trigger and also be able to control the triggering effect that it has on us by being mindful and to be able to ground ourselves as quickly as we can...(grounding box)..as well as being very mindful of our surroundings, we can do this by using our coping tools...

going for walks with Charlie or playing with her.
reading a book,
playing games on internet
listening to music, singing along with it, dancing
sitting outside with a cuppa and looking around.
ring a friend just to talk about weather etc.
watch tv..DVD..
gardening..

The triggers I’m sorry sweetheart won’t go away, they will always be there...we have to try our very hardest to cope with them...I was after a magic wand to get rid of my triggers.. nope that won’t happen and I’m sorry...but sweety you are a strong lady...You can do this you can try and find what works for you to block those negative triggering thoughts....You’re coping tools probably won’t work all the time, and like me you’ll probably go down here and there with a trigger but they do work with practice and with practice we get stronger at being able to implement them and use our coping tools better each time...

I really hope I made sense Amanda and I really so much hope that you are feeling a bit better today....

Sending you my love and hugs dearest friend...

Grandy👼..

Triggers

PamelaR — Fri, 14 Dec 2018 00:20:53 GMT

Hi Mandy (wave to Idkme and Grandy)

Awww you are sounding very low at the moment. My heart and hand go out to you to help lift you up.

What is very pleasing too is that Idkme and Grandy have come in here to give you support, advice and encouragement. I truly love to see this.

I think that Grandy has said much of what I would say to you Mandy -

it's okay to have your days when you've taken 5 steps backwards. It happens. You're not a failure. Just someone on a journey like many of us.

yes, triggers will always be there. They come upon us at the most inconvenient times. I don't want to put you off however the journey you've been on is about 18 months. It has taken me almost 8 years to 'start feeling like life is okay'. to stop running away from my feelings, to begin looking at myself in a different way.

the journey takes time and there is so many good things to learn along the way.

There is something else that you might like to think about. From everything you have written it appears you are in a domestic violent situation. I struggle to know what to say to you sometimes because you have chosen to stay in that situation. I sometimes get the feeling and thoughts about how better your life maybe in the long run if you were to walk out.

Walking out is never easy, it has it's own issues. However, from my viewpoint you might start healing and your scabs may heal rather than being picked off. Just some ramblings. I do know your reasons for continuing in the situation you find yourself, however, I would find it remiss of myself if I didn't say that it does sound intolerable.

I did a uni placement at a women's refuge a long time ago. There were many women there who continued to return to the same situation. There were others that didn't and went on to live their lives more fully. Many of the volunteers who worked there gave up on those women who continually returned to the centre after they continually returned to their husbands/partners.

They said - it is your choice to return. We've talked through your options - there is little else we can offer to help.

That sounded cruel at the time.

I hope you can find some way forward for yourself Mandy.

So you are not a failure at all Mandy. Be kind to yourself. Do something for yourself that is comforting as Grandy suggested.

Kind regards

PamelaR