topic PTSD Boyfriend Suicide Attempt + Birthday in PTSD and trauma

PTSD Boyfriend Suicide Attempt + Birthday

PsychoticPanda — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 11:11:28 GMT

2 years ago my boyfriend attempted suicide, I awoke on my birthday to him not breathing properly and tried to wake him up, then he muttered out some words. It was the morning of my 20th Birthday. One of the paramedics were extremely rude and laughed at the fact it happened on my birthday. I remember walking down the long corridor where i finally saw him laying there in resus. He should have died the doctors said. Back at home it was terrible, cries filled the room while they tried to sing happy birthday with the cake. 2 years later i still have those nightmares, i check if he's still breathing at night. I have severe allergies so make frequent visits to the hospital, the last time they put me in resus, to be exact the same room he should have died in. Birthdays haunt me, i used to love occasions but now their a burden, i can't handle the cake part. It's just constant reminders. Now that my birthday is once again approaching those feelings are getting worse, my friends insist on throwing me a party but what if that's just out of pitty? It's lovely of them but i can't help thinking that. I still keep the meds locked in a box I'm that paranoid. I hate birthdays. Yet i used to love them. I know it wasn't your fault given the circumstamces. i just want to forget it happened and I'm sure you do too.

PTSD Boyfriend Suicide Attempt + Birthday

Croix — Sun, 15 Jan 2017 05:10:43 GMT

Dear PsychoticPanda,

Posting here is normally because people hurt, are frighted and or desperate. I guess a lot of that applies to you - it would to me too. I see it's your first post - it's a good move, there a lot of people here who have lived the same situation as you , or that of your boyfriend. We all want to help and have our experiences to draw on. I/we completely understand where you are at. To be over it and back to normal life would be so good.

Having an idiot for a paramedic, and being in the same cubicle are horrible things to deal with - no two ways about it.

There's some things you don't say in your message:

Firstly is your BF under treatment?

Secondly are you on treatment for PTSD, anxiety, depression? As someone who had suffered longtime from those I know exactly how important treatment and support are. You cannot do it by yourself - in fact that was my big mistake, and made matters a lot worse.

Please let us know about those two things so we can talk more meaningfully. I'll act for the moment as if you personally haven't done anything - my apologies if you have.

Book a long visit with your GP and explain the situation (write it down first if that is a help). Ask about a mental health plan with a referral to a psychologist for treatment and therapy. Your GP may prescribe medication - sometimes they do. I now it can be tricky with allergy medications to be juggled too.

Support. You mention friends throwing a party for your birthday, you wonder if it is out of pity. Ok so if it is grab it with both hands anyway - friends are friends. If they want for you it's got to be good. You can ask them for a very low-key affair after all, if you simply can't face it explain and go somewhere else. Do you have anyone else that could or does help, parents, siblings, aunties? People who you can go to, talk with, who will understand?

If your BF is not undergoing treatment - though I imagine he may be - then the same things apply to him as well.

Please look at The Facts menu above for full information on PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Suicide. Causes, symptoms, treatment. Also you may like to look in the Forums under those subjects (plus the one for Carers) and see how others cope - join in if want.

You do know you are welcome to ring our 24/7 help line on 1300 22 4636 where a warm friendly professional voice can be a real comfort when you feel overwhelmed.

Please post back, a warm understanding reception awaits you.

Croix

PTSD Boyfriend Suicide Attempt + Birthday

MarkJT — Tue, 17 Jan 2017 21:47:12 GMT

Psychotic Panda, would like to offer you a very warm welcome to the forums. A place that is free of stigma and discrimination where you will get support from people who have very similar stories to yourself.

Incredibly difficult situation to be in as society says that we have to celebrate birthdays. I tend to ask the person whose birthday it is if they actually want to do something. You can always tell your friends that you do not want to celebrate it and even tell your close friends why. They should understand.

Could you flip this around to a positive and hold an event that is aimed at raising money for a charity?

I can relate to the nightmares as I suffered them from a scene i attended as a member of Victoria Police. They are crippling. I undertook a course of exposure therapy which really worked for me and other mates have done EMDR which has also worked on some but, these two types of clinical work do not work on others so it is not the answer to everything.

As Croix has quite correctly said above, if you are not getting clinical treatment, you need to. Get along to the GP and discuss this. You cannot help your boyfriend to much if you are psychologically injured. If you get yourself tip top mentally healthy, helping your boyfriend will be easier.

Hope to hear more from you and how you are going on your journey. We will help you through this journey the best we can.

Take care.

Mark.