topic Complex trauma/complex PTSD in PTSD and trauma

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

rarepixy — Sat, 08 May 2021 08:36:41 GMT

Hi I dont even know where to begin.

So is anyone about that has been diagnosed with complex ptsd from childhood abuse around? I find very minimal support groups with hours upon hours or searching.

I suffer many health problems due to this mental health problem ill call it.

Just looking for others to talk to as no one understand that our brains are literarily wired differently from others. Medical fact btw.

anyone feel free to comment

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

Guest_4643 — Sat, 08 May 2021 10:21:30 GMT

hello rarepixy, welcome. i like your username.

i have PTSD, but not from things in my childhood. just wanted to reply since i deal with that. take care. i'm sorry if my reply isn't satisfactory enough but i do care. i'm here if you need someone.

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

rarepixy — Sat, 08 May 2021 11:21:44 GMT

Hey thanks for your reply 🙂

I also have ptsd from adult events thanks for your lovely response

And likewise if you need someone I'm here to. I'm a good listener

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

Truetomyself — Sat, 08 May 2021 11:30:57 GMT

I have complex PTSD from childhood trauma. It is hard to find groups and people to talk to. The only person I have to talk to is my psychiatrist. It's hard but if you need someone to talk to I am here. My family don't understand so I pretty much am alone.

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

Guest_4643 — Sat, 08 May 2021 11:31:46 GMT

thank you, same to you

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

rarepixy — Sun, 09 May 2021 00:21:40 GMT

Hey, yeah my family don't get it either. Its hard for anyone to understand. it sucks really. Has it taken a toll on your health? I'm at the point where i am so sick from other health issues and all my specialists and doctors think its all linked to trauma because not only have a suffered childhood trauma but also abuse from relationships ect

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

Truetomyself — Sun, 09 May 2021 09:38:02 GMT

Hi rarepixy,

I have multiple mental illness. I found when I was working a lot and not looking after myself. My anxiety made me really unwell because I would stress a lot. It did and still takes energy from my body, that I get sick and tire easily. Which again is not understood by family. I am not a GP or specialist but it could all be linked. My nightmares wake me so I don't get complete rest and lack of sleep can have an impact on health. I hope that helps. 😊

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

DizzyLisa — Tue, 11 May 2021 06:28:10 GMT

Hi - I've just been diagnosed with complex trauma/ptsd linked to childhood abuse. it is very hard to find help I agree. A friend gave me the book "what happened to you?" by Graham Perry & Oprah. ITs new but has really helped me to understand my brain and I'm not alone.

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

The_sleepless_man — Tue, 11 May 2021 23:32:22 GMT

Hi rarepixy.

I agree that there does not seem to be a lot of support around for C-PTSD, it is even harder for people to truly understand. I have gone most of my life living with what I was put through as a child, constantly thinking it was my fault. I sought help a few years ago for my depression in relation to relationship troubles, I thought that's what bought it on, we went through the motions and saw a counsellor together and individually, we worked hard and got back on track, well, I pretended to be on track, I was on medication for 12 months but due to my job, if I had of stayed on them I would of been let go medically so I pretended to be fine and got off them, fast forward to late last year and we were in the same spot, I sought help for myself, back on medication and saw a counsellor, that was when we got talking about my past and what I went through, my counsellor and my psychiatrist both agreed that C-PTSD was the underlying cause of my depression and anxiety, I am went back on anti-depressants however they were not working so we have switched my medication up which starts Friday, I also take medication to assist with my sleep however that only seems to work 25% of the time, on a good night I get maybe 6 hours total, waking 2 or 3 times, a bad night maybe 3 at most with multiple times awake, I have also been prescribed a sleeping pill to take for those particular bad nights, however it has been stressed to me to not rely upon these.

It has been hard talking to my wife about what I went through, she had a good upbringing in a loving family, so its hard for her to understand, but she is trying, the hardest part is actually trying to explain what I went through. I have been working on this with my counsellor, some days we only talk about my past, some days we don't touch on it at all, he is very good at reading me and knowing when he can talk about it or not.

I am constantly highly anxious, always on alert, I hate crowds or anywhere there are lots of people, I don't make friends easy because of this too, it leaves me so tired and on edge always, I snap t my kids which makes me feel even more worthless as a dad, some days it really is so hard for me to do anything at all and I just want it all to end, if it wasn't for my wife and kids....

This time I am not rushing to come off any medication and if that means I get let go from my job so be it.

Just know that there are people here for you, reach out any time you want.

Regards, The sleepless man

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

Fiatlux — Wed, 12 May 2021 00:53:21 GMT

Hi, I am new to this forum.

I suffer from C-PTSD from horrible childhood abuse and is compounded by even more horrific abuse and violence in my very long marriage. I am still trying to get out of it now.

I doubt my abusers ever felt an ounce of guilt for the pain and suffering they have caused me.

Most of the time I appear normal. But when the ptsd is triggered, I loose control and I am a mess for a while.

Being called crazy is probably the worst misconception.

I had counselling years ago, before I had my own children to try to deal with the childhood abuse and trauma.

I was and am, a pretty damn good mother. I gave my children a loving stable life, all the while hiding and shielding them from the abuse I received from their father. Except for one occasion when my children were primary school age, my eldest then 8, ran into our bedroom to witness his father physically assault me.

I will never ever forget my son, crying, please daddy, no. He came between us and my husband stopped.

My two youngest children were downstairs huddled together in an armchair.

I went downstairs later, acting like nothing had happened.

My children had no idea what violence was. I never ever had raised my voice with them, let alone laid my hands on them.

I have since discussed that incident with them as they are adults in their 20’s now.

It was most distressing that my son confided that their father would abuse them when I wasn’t home and he made them promise to never tell me. He would take them out shopping for toys after to ensure that they stayed quiet.

Every time I had to work weekends and he would be home with them, I came home to them playing with new toys. So it happened frequently.

Husband knew that I forbid physical abuse and never touched the children when I was home. He wouldn’t even verbally discipline. So I was horrified when my children finally told me.

I still don’t know the full extent of the abuse, but there were no bruises.

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

Sophie_M — Wed, 12 May 2021 01:16:25 GMT

Hey Fiatlux,

We know how difficult it can be to reach out for support, so we are really glad that you've taken such a brave step in sharing your journey with us here today. We're so sorry to hear what you and your family have been going through and we hope that you find these forums to be a safe space through this overwhelming time. Our caring community are here for you, and please know that you are strong, valuable and you have a right to live free from this abuse.

Our Support Service is also currently reaching out to you as we are worried about you. We would strongly urge that you contact our friends at 1800RESPECT, who offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by domestic or family violence and abuse. The lovely, supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice to people in your situation, and you can contact them anytime on 1800 737 732 or also through webchat 24/7 at https://www.1800respect.org.au/

Our Support Service is also always here for you, 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or through online chat (1pm-midnight) at www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport One of the friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings and experiences with you and can offer some great support as well as advice and referrals to help you through this.

However, if you ever you feel unsafe, it's really important that you contact triple zero and ask for the police. We know it has taken a lot of strength and courage for you to share your story today, so thank you. We hope that you can find some comfort in the forums and please also feel welcome to create your own personal thread so that you can expand on your story, and our community can continue to offer their kind support.

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

loouuiiee — Wed, 21 Jul 2021 08:47:01 GMT

Hey everyone,

im not a doctor or any kind of mental health practitioner but I do believe I suffer from complex trauma and ptsd from both childhood abuse and other events that have occurred throughout my life so far (being a victim of breaking & entering & robery, being in an abusive and controlling relationship for years, homelessness etc.).

I am currently diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety and ocd tendencies (related to checking doors and windows are locked repeatedly which is a result of the home invasion/robery I experienced).

as a child I had a very unstable living environment - my mother has bipolar. after leaving my father when i was 4 years old she began refusing treatment & moved me around in order to make it difficult for him to be able to see me/be a part of my life. He eventually remarried, started a new family and forgot about me until we reconnected when I was a teenager after my mother threw me out of the house. As a child my mother was neglectful, and physically and mentally abusive. I was terrified of her and continue to be to this day as a fully grown adult.
As a teenager I found myself homeless after my mother threw me out of the house. My father was sympathetic but unwilling to offer me a place to stay. As a teenager I learnt that men would are willing give me a safe place to stay in return for ‘favours’. This led to the series of abusive and controlling relationships i have been in and out of over several years.

i present as very strong and confident because I have to be - I am always on alert and anxious waiting for the rug to get pulled out from underneath my feet again.
I am constantly exhausted from presenting this image to the world that I am fine when really I am TERRIFIED of every little thing and my self-esteem is horrid because I hate myself for the things I have had to do to survive. I don’t have any friends or family because I don’t trust anyone… the closest I’ve got is my manipulative partner who I wish I could leave but I am to scared to live on my own again after being a victim of robery! I work part time, I study part time and I put on a very brave face every day. my psychologist saud not to think about the past but I think about my past obsessively - it consumes me and drowns me in sorrow. Does anyone else search for answers to their past because they just don’t understand it? Is this consistent with C-PTSD?

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

Scapegoated — Fri, 23 Jul 2021 04:27:58 GMT

Hi,

I think it is really commendable that you protected your children first. That is what Mothers are supposed to do. My mother is a sociopath/narcissit and she has abused me in narcissitic rages since i was two and a half(my first memory is of her chasing me with a vacuum and hoisting myself up on a couch or ottoman). The memories come slowly. It doesn't all hit you at once. At least that is what I have read. I am 15 and I am in touch with everything that was done to me-I am sure I am in denial of some of it but i remember all of it intellectually(cognitively). I am still stuck living with my mother for two more years before i go to Uni. But I think I can handle it becasue since i grew taller she cannot beat me anymore. She did much worse things to me with her vicousness. She has no conscience and deliberately harms me with her cruel words. I don't want to be anything like her ever. She is so gross in every conceivable way. My father says he loves me but it's been promises promises my whole life. At 11 I really believed he would finally be my hero. he promised me he would leave her if i stayed with him and I was like, "of course! Dad, I would NEVER stay with her!' He turns a blind eye and pretends she is a "wonderful mother." because she only rarely slips in front of him and says something horrifically cruel to me. she has slipped so many times that he deliberately turns a blind eye. He got a better position at work a few months after the promise when I was 11 and my mother told him he was a drunk who could never make it on his own. she is a secretary and he is brilliant but she is manipulative of him and denegrates him like she denegrates me and everyone in th eworld. He talks non stop about everyone else's supposed defects when in fact she is projecting her own sick defects onto everyone else. I relaized this at 14. But recently due to the covid situation and my having to be near her inside all the time I just could not handle her anymore. Her gaslighting, crazymaking, sick twisted worldview. So I just got out of the hospital. I don't know how much longer i can stand being locked in a house with her. It reminds me everyday of what she said to me when i was little. My body dysmorphia is so bad I want to die sometimes. I thought my father was just unaware but now I realize he is aware of how mean she is to me and is a coward. he refuses to rescue ,me like a real man. . He was my hero He just used me to get away from her.

Complex trauma/complex PTSD

Sophie_M — Fri, 23 Jul 2021 05:06:50 GMT

Dear Scapegoated,

We are so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way right now, and for all that you have been through. We want you to know that we are here for you and that you don't have to go through this alone.

What is most important to us is that you are safe. If, at anytime, you feel unsafe please call 000 straight away.

If you want to chat, you can use our webchat service from 11am - Midnight everyday.

We have reached out to you privately to check in as well as here on the forums.

Thank you for sharing your story with us here today, it must have taken a huge amount of courage to write this and post it to the forums. Thank you for being you and making this community a better place.

Kind regards,
Sophie M