topic sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support in PTSD and trauma

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Spencerr — Sat, 02 Jan 2016 13:40:06 GMT

21 years old & terified about what the future holds for me.

In 2012 on the 6th of July I was walking down my street around 7:30am. I could sense I was being followed but could not see anyone. I was punched twice in the back of the head, as i fell forward someone caught me from behind with their large hand covering my mouth. (I will not go into detail as to what then occurred but i was sexually assaulted)

Police were called which i almost feel made it even more traumatic as i was in shock and being asked to provide very intimate details.

For the next year i experienced flashbacks, severe depression, severe anxiety and bad dreams. I kept this my secret as i could not burden my family with something i still didnt understand. My partner was my main support. I eventually exploded and decided to see a psychologist. I remeber feeling soo ill, my partner drove me and came to the initial appt. Every appointment was exhausting, an emotional battle. I would debate whether going would help or make the pain worse. I figured i had suffered enough and accepted that it was goung to be an emotional rollercoaster and that i needed help. After several sessions the flashbacks and bad dreams were getting worse. My bad dreams of that day were being incorporated into another dream. I kept having this same dream for a couple of weeks. I told my psychologist that it was all getting too much but she encouraged me to keep up appointments as i had come so far. In December 2012 i went to work just like any other day and experienced such an intense flashback my body went into shock and i collapsed. I struggled to comprehend what day, year or where i was. My boss assured me i was in a safe place and sat wiith me until it was over. My flashback was not from my assault in July but was from when i was 17 still in high school. I explained this to my psychologist as i was so confused and scared at the fact that how can something like this happen and i have no recollection of it?! She explained that the mind tends to block things out when it goes into shock and can not process a traumatic event. I had one more appointment with her after that and then never saw her again. I was not ready to go on another emotional rollercoaster. I am still suffering, i feel dirty all the time, i have trouble being intimate, i fear what the future holds, fear of men and crowded places.

I just need to know that i am not alone.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Guest_1055 — Sat, 02 Jan 2016 14:03:53 GMT

Hello

I just want to tell you, you are not alone. As I am sitting on my chair thinking about you, and wondering what I could say to you. I have not gone through what you have, and I can't imagine how you must feel. But I am so sorry that these awful and horrific things have happened to such a precious person....that's you. I long to go back to all the times you were hurt, and take you in my arms and hold you. Even though I don't know you, I hate the thought of this happening to you. It breaks my heart. I hope as you read this, if you do, you will know and feel that I care about you so much.

I wish I could advise you or something, but I cannot. I can only send a huge hug to you, and send you my love.

Will you keep posting back here into Beyond Blue? I hope so, someone else may be able to provide you with some advice, or you may find a connection to someone else who has gone through similar things as you.

With much love

Shelley anne xxx

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Scarlettt — Sat, 02 Jan 2016 14:37:49 GMT

You are not alone, and I can understand a bit of how you're feeling. When I was 16 I was sexually violated from a friend of mine who was much older than I. It hurt a lot because it came from someone I had trusted, and I thought I could just move on and forget it ever happened. I never told anyone. I felt so sick and disgusted, all I wanted to do for weeks was cry and vomit.

It's now been a few years since and I'm experiencing similar things to what you're going through now, especially intimacy and trust issues. But it doesn't define the life you will have from now on. The things that have happened to you do not define you as a person, and it is unfair for anybody to go through it. Talking to my family certainly helps me cope with the memories and nightmares. I also find that my psychologist gives me useful advice on ways to deal with flashbacks and panic attacks affectively.

I hope this helps you in some way. Just know you are definitely not alone, and I am here for you.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Guest_5218 — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 02:06:30 GMT

Hi Spencerr. I am glad that you have found your way to the BB Forums, so welcome.

I want you to know that you are definitely not alone. I am sure you will find a lot of understanding and support here on the forums. And I see that you already have done above. Hopefully this give you the support that you currently need and I hope it gives you some respite from your suffering, even if in only a small way. What you have gone through is horrific, and I am so, so sorry this has happened to you.

Rape is far more common than anybody realises. Mainly because it is not always reported. I was raped almost 20 years ago, in my own home by someone I knew and thought I could trust. I too was physically hurt (concussion, cuts, bruises, etc) as well as being brutally raped. Unlike you however, the police were not involved, because I never reported it. The shame, humiliation, the thought of having to go through it all again to the police and any subsequent court case was too much for me to bear. I think the reporting process has improved a little now thankfully. Subsequently I never told anybody about what happened. I kept it secret, and just hoped it would all just go away.

But it didnt, and like you are now finding, memories of the trauma dont leave you. I too suffered flashbacks, nightmares and debilitating anxiety, and I still do. I isolated myself and was always afraid I would see him again. I no longer trust people or my own judgement. I moved many times to try to escape. I'm sure this will all sound familiar to you?

The first time I ever opened up and told someone about it was last year when I told my psychologist. At the time it was 19 years since the rape, and it had been a difficult few months for unrelated reasons as well. It had just gone anniversary time, which is always a difficult time for me. Is it for you as well? Anyway long story short, my psych recommended I go through Exposure therapy and CBT, which it sounds like you may have been having. I actually found that it was of some benefit, in that I can now hear certain words, names, topics and not go into panic mode or break down in tears. That was progress. I think you have to be realistic however. This will likely be with you for life, to some extent or other. But we need to learn how best to live with it and to minimise the pain and suffering these people have done to us. I would urge you to consider continuing with some form of therapy. Please know that I care.

Sherie xx

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

LZinsight — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 13:33:43 GMT

Hi, Spencerr.
I can't say I "understand" your pain, after all my experience was different, and everyone is affected in different ways, what I can say is you aren't alone, and though there isn't really anything I can say that will make you feel better, I hope I can say people here can be a nice leg of support should you need one, and while I haven't been here long, it's certainly helped a bit.

Hope you keep posting should you need it.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Zephyr7 — Wed, 30 Mar 2016 09:42:37 GMT

Hello everyone. I am so glad you're here. Thank you for the opportunity to write. Firstly, I am so sorry for everyone who is a rape survivor. It would be so much better if this crime hadn't happened to us. That said, the resilience on this forum is really helping me as today, I cracked at work, left early and as its a new job; I am feeling guilty and ashamed about this. My new boss is amazing and he is bewildered as how I interviewed is different to how I am in the job. I can't find the words to say it's my anniversary month. My father has just scraped through his cancer & my uncle was in a terrible accident. I'm trying to keep up my law degree but this month, I've cried, vomited and had the shakes until I finally go numb and can sleep. I went straight to my GP today to go back onto my antidepressants. I am also using all my strategies to get through tonight. Long term I am stuck. I simply hate this cycle. I'm so glad that I am not the only person trying to manage living life with the trauma in the background but I have a disability too which makes me extra vulnerable even though I work hard to hide it. My anxiety has been present for many years but lately, the sense of "just managing" my difficulties feels more like "F***...and here we go again!" My biggest hope is settling down into my life and mostly being calm and relaxing to be around. It drives me nuts that I just crumble with curve balls now instead of having that inner strength I used to be known for prior to the assault. Its probably my biggest grief, the loss of that steely bloody mindedness. I don't know what to do from here though. I really want to live. Life is so precious. I love my family and simply cannot be without them. But how can I live life and enjoy it without becoming a basket case? I fight every day to not retreat into being a bit of a vegetable as a means to cope, but it is so very, very tempting to just completely shut down.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

white knight — Wed, 30 Mar 2016 10:46:43 GMT

Hi spencer, welcome

I have a few wishes and hopes...

I hope you make a good recovery in time

I wish I was there to protect you

I hope your attacker gets karma. Karma exists.

I wish you could accept how many men are good men

I hope your partner continues to support you through the bad times

I wish you well

Tony WK 60yo male.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Zephyr7 — Wed, 30 Mar 2016 21:03:32 GMT

Wow. No replies. I've made it through the night, but whatever. *Great* community. Please talk to me

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Guest_5218 — Wed, 30 Mar 2016 22:48:08 GMT

Morning there Zephyr7. I'm so pleased that you made it though the night. Not sure what time you posted, but I did not get your post until just now. You say that you got no replies, and yet I can see that White Knight has replied to you already. Did you not get that message? You sound very disappointed that you did not get more replies, and I am sorry also that you didnt. Thankfully most people sleep during the night, so there may be occasions where you dont get a reply for a while. And please bear in mind that people here are just like yourself, we are often struggling with our daily issues as well. And many of us work. This really is a great community and I hope you stick around long enough to see that.

Talk to you? Yes, I know you are doing it really tough right now. If you see my post to the original person who started this thread, you will see that I have been through something similar to yourself. So I can understand what you may be going through. And what you say is so so true - it would be so much better if this crime were not forced upon any of us.

You do not say how long ago this happened to you, but from what I can understand it may be quite some time? But with so many other dramas happening in your life recently, then you are just becoming overwhelmed by it all right now. Our traumatic memories unfortunately stay will us and certain triggers throw us a curve ball when we are least able to deal with them.

You say that it is an anniversary month? I always find that a particularly difficult time as well, just one of the triggers that I can reliably predict. Speaking of anniversaries, you may be interested in reading another thread on the Trauma and Physical Illness area of the Forums. The title is "Coping with the Anniversary of a Traumatic Event". It is actually a thread I started a couple of months ago leading up to the 20 year anniversary of my won rape. I have received so much sound advice and wonderful support from the people on these forums, and I know you will too. I think you may also find it helpful to read that thread, as there is some really great advice there that you may find useful and comforting as well. It is very long though, and is ongoing.

Have you had any psychological therapy - CBT, ACT, Exposure Therapy? If you havent already done so, it would probably be worthwhile having a Mental Health Plan prepared by your GP. That would allow subsidised psych therapy.

I understand and I care.

Sherie xx

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Guest_5218 — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 04:17:02 GMT

Hello again Zephyr7. Sorry my post was a little rushed this morning, I had to go into work today. Plus I ran out of allowable words and didnt get to put everything in that I wanted to. But because you seemed so disappointed about not getting any responses last night I felt I needed to let you know that you werent forgotten.

I see that the Forums have been fairly quiet today, so I'm sorry that you have not received any additional responses. Please keep in mind that many people here do work, and even our Community Champions here on the Forums are volunteers only. They devote their time to helping others, in their own time, and are not paid.

But now that I'm back from work I wanted to say that if you ever get to the stage where everything is just becoming too hard to manage, or you feel you need to speak to someone urgently - please know that there is a 24/7 BB Helpline that you can call anytime - the number is 1300 22 4636. You will find them to be extremely helpful and knowledgeable and they will steer you in the right direction to receive appropriate help and care. Another option available to you between the hours of 3pm and midnight 7 days a week is the BB Online chat facility. You will find a red rectangle at the bottom left of your computer screen with the Chat online symbol on it. Just click on that and follow the instructions.

I hope you are feeling a little better today Zephyr7. If you're like me, the nights are always the worst. But again please keep in mind that you can receive immediate support by phoning the Help Line I mentioned above.

I would love to hear back from you ......... I am happy to talk with you anytime you would like to. Provided I'm here of course! ( - : Just reply to my post and I will get back to you. I do check my computer regularly, but do not have a smart phone and so cannot access the 'net while out and about.

Sherie xx

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

pipsy — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 07:57:49 GMT

Hi Spencerr. My name is Lynda. Like you I was attacked sexually too. I was very young at the time, my attacker made me feel it was my fault. Unlike you, I had no counselling, support of any description. My parents were more concerned my g'mother would find out. I went through what you're experiencing, eventually fainting at school. Everything you're experiencing, the black outs, shame, the constant feeling of being 'dirty'. It is a normal reaction to the violation you experienced. Your psych is right when she/he told you the mind does 'block out' certain extreme traumatic events that are too painful to recall. Unfortunately, the dreams you're experiencing are possibly because during the day, you can't face what happened, so at night, when you're asleep, the mind recalls incidents. I think you're actually experiencing PTSD, this happens when we go through horrific experiences like you had. Returned servicemen suffer the same problem when they return home. You are definitely not alone on this problem. Have you considered contacting an adult sexual victims helpline. They have counsellors who are expert in this field. They would be able to provide coping strategies for the nightmares, the feeling of 'dirt', the feeling of not being able to escape the ordeal. that's a big part of what you're experiencing, the fact that you were helpless, then dealing with ( what you would possibly feel, unsympathetic police). The police are fairly good, but with rape, they're a bit out of their depth. Even when the perpetrator is caught, no punishment seems to 'fit' what he did to the victim. I'm a bit of an 'eye for an eye' person, unfortunately. I feel if someone violates someone else, then he should be jailed for life, no chance for appeal, no possibility of parole. If someone rapes, then murders, why should he be treated better than his victim. Unfortunately, this has caused many fights between me and my ex. He's an ex prison officer and believes perpetrators should be allowed to apply for an appeal if they're sentenced. I'll leave that there. Contact the sexual abuse line for adults, I'm sure someone there will be able to help you better than I can. I understand how you feel, believe me.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

pipsy — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 08:11:38 GMT

Hi Zephyr7. My name is Lynda. When you say it's your anniversary, does that mean wedding or what happened. I totally understand the feeling of guilt you have because you feel you were powerless to prevent what happened. Your abuser banked on you not being able to fight back too. Would it be too painful for me to ask when the attack happened. If you can't answer it doesn't matter. Most of what you're experiencing is PTSD brought about because you feel guilty because you couldn't fight back. You couldn't fight back, if you had, you might not be here today. Have you thought about contacting adult survivors of sexual abuse? they have counsellors specially trained in this field who would be able to offer strategies for dealing with the trauma you experience everyday. I was abused as a child, like you, I eventually 'cracked' up, I fainted at school. I was never counselled, it didn't exist then. My parents were more concerned about my g'mother finding out and how it would affect her. I was very young when it happened, it was a neighbour. For years after I could still smell him, this is part of PTSD. It needs to be addressed, by an expert in the field. Most of what happened to me, I've managed to box it in a corner of my brain and it doesn't affect me anymore, but it's taken years to reach that point.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Guest_5218 — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 08:12:51 GMT

Hi there Lynda. I just wanted to point out to you that the original opener of this thread was Spencerr who wrote way back on 3rd Jan. But she never got back to us, leaving the thread languishing for a couple of months.

Last night a new person (Zephyr7) came in on this existing thread, sending her first post last night and her second this morning. I note that when you responded just now, you have responded to the original poster, rather than the current one.

I hope you dont mind me pointing this out to you. It is a little confusing I agree.

Sherie xx

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Zephyr7 — Fri, 01 Apr 2016 05:14:29 GMT

Hi Sherie and Pipsy,

Thank you so much for your replies to my posts. I really needed to read that encouraging note about being able to get through this. Pipsy, it was my assault anniversary (2010). I've been under a lot of anxiety pressure at the moment and that's exacerbated in March most particularly. I got myself admitted to a PECC unit just overnight to try and settled ams have now been discharged and am at home reading up on anxiety and how to manage it. It pre-exists the rape but the two issues intermingle when I'm having a bad day, dealing with rejection or trust/intimacy issues. They're my biggest triggers. The next biggest is my work relationships and getting along in the work place. I love being around people, but my anxiety really tends to take over and its just destroyed my new job. Does this happen to other people with the combination of anxiety and assault in their history? How do you work out a career when this trauma comes out? Any advice from people who've been there would be great as I'll be seeing professional counsellors (CBT and psychodynamic) & they've put me on antidepressants but I'm scared about what this has just done to my life and my job.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

pipsy — Fri, 01 Apr 2016 06:31:10 GMT

Hi Zephyr7. Anytime we're assaulted in any way, we tend to never forget the assault, the time it happened or the date. This is all part and parcel of PTSD. Learning to relax and trust people is hard because you tend to worry that you might be attacked even emotionally. I used to have issues dealing with the young girls I worked with (mother hennish on my part), particularly those who loved hitch hiking. It used to freak me because all I could see was the possibility of them being attacked. I never hitch hiked myself, it took years to even get up the courage to go on dates. Unfortunately, the only thing that helps get past these fears (and they're rational and understandable) is time. All you can do is continue to work with your counsellor. If you could ring the adult sex abuse line it might also help in your recovery. Can I ask what became of the person who attacked you. Knowing he was punished for what he did might help you a bit. Any sort of personal violation is hard enough to deal with, but with everything else you're coping with it's hardly surprising you're feeling overwhelmed. It's great you have a counsellor to help you work through these emotions. Another suggestion here, instead of trying to put all your troubles in one box, try mentally (ask your counsellor to help, here) putting each situation in it's own container. Put the sexual assault in one box, the family situation in another box. Try dealing with them separately, instead of putting them altogether. Try writing down how you feel about your father and uncle. Also try writing down when you're having difficulty concentrating on your law studies. Write down your anger/disgust at your attacker/s. When we try to deal with too much, our mind goes into shut down mode, because it is too much information at once.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Guest_5218 — Fri, 01 Apr 2016 07:32:01 GMT

Hi Zephyr,

Thanks for getting back to us. I was relieved when I saw your post, as I was worried about you yesterday.

Yes you certainly do have a lot happening in your life right now. And the fact that you are struggling as a result is totally understandable. I am not able to advise on ways to help with your career, thats a toughie. I was never very career orientated even when I was young. Thats not to say that I didnt enjoy my work, because I did. These days I only work part time. But there again, I am in my mid 50's. ( - :

Do I understand you correctly that you are yet to see a counsellor / psychologist? I think you will find that when you do, they will teach you some relaxation techniques that you can use to help reduce some of the physical affects of the anxiety when it hits hard. Hopefully that will help a little. I try to practice my relaxing breathing when I feel okay, because when you need it the most, thats unfortunately when it just flies out of your mind, forgotten. It really does take practice.

It sounds like you will be doing some CBT therapy which I have also received together with prolonged exposure therapy last year. Both were beneficial, but only to a certain point. Today I had my first session of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy. It is a method originally developed to treat PTSD but is also known to be effective for other mental disorders. I really cant tell you much about its effectiveness just yet. After a 2 hour session this morning, I am feeling totally drained mentally and physically, along with typical anxiety symptoms of shakiness and heart racing at a 100 miles an hour. ( - :

Bear in mind that therapy will make you feel worse before you start to feel better. Its tough, and you need to persevere. It stirs up all the memories you've tried so hard to forget for so long. But with traumatic memories and ptsd, they remain at the forefront of our minds, easily accessed and triggered, until such time as we are finally able to process them. And thats what these therapies aim to do. I have no experience with psychodynamic therapy, so cant comment.

If you've only recently started ADs, I expect they would have told you that it will take some time before you notice any improvement. You will need to be patient. Everyone reacts so differently to ADs, so I hope this one works well for you.

Pipsy's suggestion to compartmentalise different issues sounds good to me.

Take care ok

Sherie xx

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Zephyr7 — Fri, 01 Apr 2016 09:27:58 GMT

Hi Pipsy,

Sherie, I will write to you in a moment. I'm scheduled to get a referral for the psychologist from my GP tomorrow. I am hoping I'll be seeing someone by Monday, given today is Friday. It has been over a year since I was last on ADs and I'm remembering that it took me a good month to get the real benefits from it. When the attack happened, it wasn't expected as I was on a date with the attacker. The shift in how things changed from being pleasant to frightening was very quick and I didn't quite grasp what had happened until it was over. Consequently, I never reported it, also because I know the legal conviction statistics and wasn't in the financial position to hire a lawyer for advice let alone proceed. In hindsight, I should have gotten more post event care sooner. I did organise extensive counseling and that was fantastic. I think though that is a long term process and if you have a supportive family, getting them along to a psych team so they understand what has happened is essential. I imagine for families that it is confusing if you're seemingly fine years later and then having an anxiety attack about contemporary issues which then drag up the past. I also think that getting comfortable with my body again has been a genuine process of being loving and understanding of my body's needs and really tuning in to its limitations in response to overstimulation from work stresses or relationship stresses, etc. I have my up moments and really down moments about how I'm going with all of this and worry if I'm stretching the capacity of my family to cope. In this sense, I'd love it if my attacker had this shit to deal with, but the reality is that he doesn't, I do and I just need to work out my life to suit what I can handle and just concentrate on what I am doing. In an hour, I could be teary about work again, but I can see that there is a bigger picture at play.

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Zephyr7 — Fri, 01 Apr 2016 09:48:46 GMT

Hi Sherie,

As promised, this is reply to you. I'm sorry I was such a grotty girl the other day with my upset reply. I was feeling very down, scared and upset about my anxiety rearing its ugly head and reliving bits of the assault didn't help me at all.

EMDR sounds very interesting. Is it covered by private health insurance? Do you know how many sessions you will need to do? I am familiar with CBT and did this for 4 months last year. I benefited, but it didn't have a sustained long term effect. What actually worked was deep breathing, getting to yoga classes, reading many self help books and really concentrating on what I'm doing in my life and knowing what my smaller goals. I phased that out to start up my law studies but I am wondering if that was a big mistake.

Sherie, youve been really helping with your posts. Is getting better like quitting smoking in that, you think "I don't need to do that anymore because I'm going so well" and as soon as a crisis unfolds, you're teaching for the cigarettes as a way to cope and then realise you've gone about things in a very wrong way? I guess I'm wondering if this will have to be a life long commitment: meditation daily, exercising, journaling and all of those things? Is it possible to eliminate anxiety triggers to reduce the older traumas from getting reactivated?

I'm finding it hard to make new friends as well. This is not because I'm anti social, as I love people, but because I get scared in social settings sometimes. This can be just because I go and entertain the thought of "Am I safe or not?" even when I know that I am. Its like I cant help but pick at myself until I've worried myself into going home early or out of a good job. I know this will all be talked through with the psychologist, but I'm fearful of how to take this all on from here. I get scared of being left alone because I worry about having a panic when I am alone. It's a curious beast, being quite a social person bit with this awful anxiety holding me back. Anyway, thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate the time. I have my teddy bear with me, camomile tea and the tv and lights on so it's snuggly here.

Speak soon

Zephyr

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Guest_5218 — Fri, 01 Apr 2016 10:19:25 GMT

Hi Zeph,

Thanks for your reply. My apologies as I am not feeling all that well, so I will keep my reply brief.

Firstly, please do not feel bad for your post the other day. You have no reason to apologise. It was pretty obvious that you were upset and I'm only sorry that you had not received any responses in your hour of need.

My EMDR therapy is being administered by my psychologist, and as such should be able to be claimed through your private health extra's policy. I think EMDR therapy specifically is not currently paid through medicare (mental health care plans), but if used in conjunction with other 'allowable' therapies then it will get through. It isnt suitable for everyone however, and not all therapists are trained in its use. But it could be worth asking about when you see your therapist. Just to see what he/she thinks.

After 20 years now, I am of the belief that 'it never goes away'. It may do for short periods of time, but it always comes back. Triggers, both known and unexpected, are just around the corner. I went through a really hard time last year when I had a number of stressful events over a 2-month period and it all combined to put me back in a bad place. For me it was the death of a couple of friends, my brother being involved in a bad car accident resulting in serious injuries to himself and death of my 11yo niece, my elderly parents not coping, loss of my part time employment when the business was sold, and the discovery that once again my husband was cheating on me.

I really think that the secret is to learn how better to cope when this occurs. And the psych therapy is useful in helping to reduce the severity of the impact to our lives, and to learn coping methods.

My hubby is away at present, not due back for another few days. So I'm on my own, but I have my little dog Holly (profile pic) and she's great company.

I will write again when I feel more mentally 'with it'.

Hugs and kind thoughts to you,

Sherie xx

sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support

Zephyr7 — Sat, 02 Apr 2016 22:39:59 GMT

Dear Sherie,

I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it at the moment. It is not easy but you've done a great job writing your reply to me, which I really appreciated, so you've had a positive impact on someone today that you don't even know! It may sound twee, but I'm focusing on positives this morning. Its my challenge for the day to test out all my positive strategies like a bingo card game. The idea is to think of each trigger as a bingo item and each strategy you deploy to deal with the trigger gets you closer to your reward. For me, a trigger to getting the shakes is ruminating about work and whether I can hold down work over the long term. So I got out of bed, changed and went for a walk around the block and ended up taking an hour to just slow my breathing and feel less anxious and now in the moment. I still had pockets of anxiety and tight breathing and then had another bingo moment where I dealt with it by focusing on the birds flying around and looking at different trees on my walk. I am still quite scared and judgey in my head about how I will go in the coming weeks, but I've tried to refocus on my cup of tea, reading the paper, I'll need to shower soon; etc. I can only hope each day will be better and come to grips with the uncertainty of things. You can do the same and we can share ideas on how to make it easier on ourselves?

Have a good morning. Thinking if you.

Zephyr