topic Home invasion in PTSD and trauma

Home invasion

Mel_72 — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 02:13:46 GMT

At 2am sunday morning, someone broke into my home. I panicked and started screaming. They ran and i called the police. Police attended. They have 1 person in custody, pending court, and i dont think they are even looking for the 2nd...

Anyway, here we are a few days after the event, not sleeping properly, jumping at every sound, hypervigilant, unable to face going to work as MH nurse, struggling to get started with any of the jobs around the house. I feel like i cant even get enough air into my lungs. Im exhausted. I cry at nothing. Have spent a small fortune on cameras and extra locks and chains for around the house. I know all the the things to do- eat well, sleep, exercise, talk to people, but it doesnt seem to help yet.

I hate that this person has made me feel like this. Im usually strong and independent and can manage most things. I know this person is a career criminal, and magistrates keep granting bail. I have no idea if him or his mates will come back and try again. I keep thinking, what if they were already inside when i woke up. (I know i should flip this thought to im glad i woke up when i did and scared them off.. easier said than done.

Not sure if i want advice or what from here, hopefully just writing it out will help me move on

Home invasion

tranzcrybe — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 04:06:20 GMT

Aside from your own safety, loss, damage, I feel the most upsetting thing about a break in is the violation of your personal space - the haven in which you can feel secure and be yourself has its integrity undermined and sullied by the experience.
Whereas the offender has none of these qualms - just an opportunist with no regard for any of the above. But this is where you might find solace: -
Although being a major ordeal for you, 'you' could have been anyone and as such it would have made no impact on the offender.
If you can remove the 'personal' affront (similar to if a tree fell on your house, it's just another thing to rectify), it can help you to process events as matter of fact, allowing you to put it behind you and resume day to day activities.

Home invasion

Mel_72 — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 06:33:06 GMT

I get what you're saying and have been doing the practical things to rectify the issue. Extra locks, cameras, door replaced. I guess its just the shock that it even happened to me. This to shall pass...

Home invasion

jaz28 — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 06:40:33 GMT

hi mel,

i am so sorry to hear that this happened. you must feel so violated, and honestly, if it were me I would not be able to sleep either!

our homes are (if we are fortunate enough) our safe spaces, and when someone challenges this, i think it is normal to feel terrified and violated!

you have done the steps to feel more protected. time will heal.

jaz x

Home invasion

Mel_72 — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 08:14:17 GMT

Thanks Jaz, appreciate the support x

Home invasion

Ggrand — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 08:45:46 GMT

Hello Dear Mel.72..

A warm and caring welcome to the forums..

I am so sorry that happened to you...I am pleased that they have caught one of the intruders and do hope they catch the other one..

I like it that you have put security camera around your home and changed all your locks...I hope that by doing that it has made you feel a little safer....

I am thinking that, maybe getting yourself a large dog to both be a companion for you and also a dog will alert you to anything out of the ordinary going on, as well as try to protect you...

I live alone out in regional NSW and have 2 little dogs that are very good in alerting me when anyone comes near my gate..,I know pets/dogs aren’t for everyone, but just wanted to suggest it to you...for something that you might think about later on, if your anxiety doesn’t settle for you...

Please talk here anytime you feel up to it...

My kindest thoughts with my care Dear Mel..

Grandy.,

Home invasion

Mel_72 — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 11:06:59 GMT

Hi Grandy, thankyou for your kind message. Have been considering the dog, not sure that the 3 cats would approve though. Will certainly keep it mind though x

Home invasion

On The Road — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 12:12:59 GMT

Hi Mel.72

I'm sorry this happened to you, breaking in is scary and REALLY detrimental to ppl's mental health.... the impacts on victims' mental health regarding these terrible events such as trespass, assault... need to be addressed more. I hope the police catch the other one soon... meanwhile, this could keep haunting you lasting for days or weeks. is there anyone living with or near you that can share your concerns? I reckon you may need some companies that would make you safe, for a few days.... until you feel safe again... Please share more on here if you feel relieved and comfortable.

Home invasion

geoff — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 14:29:16 GMT

Hello Mel, this must have been a terrifying ordeal for you and been through it myself and Grandy's suggestion of a dog would be a great idea, may be you could have it so they can roam the whole property, front to back, plus putting up cameras is a terrific idea, but they need to be inside the house and not outside and place a sign on the windows that you have inside cameras and a dog roaming around.

If you have sliding windows that open you can secure them from opening the whole way, so let me know and I'll suggest what you can do.

If one culprit has been caught it's unlikely someone else will return if you have these security measures in place.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff. x

Home invasion

Mel_72 — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 22:39:25 GMT

Thanks for your reply Geoff. Curious as to why you say to have the cameras inside? Ive got them set covering the outside perimeter of the house so i can see if anyone is approaching.

Home invasion

Mel_72 — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 22:43:42 GMT

Thanks on the road,

Totally agree with what you say about effect on victims. I do think this should be part of determining any punishment for the perpetrators of these offences. As it stands he probs gets a slap on the wrist and will continue offending 😞

Home invasion

Mel_72 — Fri, 11 Mar 2022 04:18:31 GMT

Well he got jail time and made the paper. Can apply for parole in june. I should feel better but i dont. I am pleased he got something more than a slap on the wrist

Home invasion

romantic_thi3f — Sat, 12 Mar 2022 23:31:19 GMT

Hi Mel.72,

Oh that's terrifying! I'm so sorry. I can completely see why you wouldn't be sleeping and feeling hypervigiliant.

I want to try and remind you though that these responses aren't about no longer being strong or independent. These are trauma responses, where your brain is trying to keep you safe, even though you are safe now.

I hope there's some comfort in knowing that this man is in jail; I imagine that he got spooked by you being in the house and doesn't sound like he'd really thought that through.

Practically, it sounds like you've done everything that you can. A sign out the front warning of a dog can also be helpful even if you're not able to get a dog as it's just one more deterrent.

While it may sound a little strange, one other option I'd recommend thinking about is redecorating a little. I say this because it gives you something else to look at/smell/touch as a sensory way to ground you when getting jumpy and hypervigiliant, and helps convince your brain that this is a safe space now.

Do you have supports around you? Maybe you could chat with friends/family/colleagues, or your employer could hook you up with an EAP counsellor? Or even if you have the capacity, to stay somewhere else for a night or two so you can recharge?

I hope this helps.

Take care,