topic Re: Complex PTSD in PTSD and trauma

Complex PTSD

ComplexPTSD — Tue, 23 Dec 2025 07:37:57 GMT

I have had a history of Trauma throughout my life (including childhood trauma), and I do believe I am suffering from complex PTSD. I do get attracted to Chaotic people and situations, to fix them, and other people's problems become my problems, and relationships get damaged/destroyed, or something terrible happens to people around me or me, for example, recently, when I had to get the police involved (case now closed) and move from my area/go into hiding. Has anybody else had this problem, and how do you fix it? I do get blame and guilt from my family when I go through these situations, which doesn't help me recover and fully work through the trauma.

I'm starting with a clinical psychologist in the new year, and I'm doing another round of EDMR for the most recent event. I want to set myself up better for the future. I'm a well-trained professional and an expert in my field, and I know I can have a better life going forward if I make better choices.

Re: Complex PTSD

Croix — Tue, 23 Dec 2025 09:03:26 GMT

Dear New Member~

I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum, where I'm sure you wil find a range of perspectives.

I guess the first thing to worry me is you say "I do believe I am suffering from complex PTSD." May I suggest that becomes formally diagnosed, as I expect you know the treatments for COMPLEX PTSD are not quite the same as for PTSD and maybe you are missing out on a component that might be helpful

I'm glad you are seeing a clinical psychologist in the near future and that might be a good time to clarify things, even if it means consulting a psychiatrist as well.

You do say you have a tendency to try to 'fix' others problems but unfortunately "other people's problems become my problems, and relationships get damaged/destroyed, or something terrible happens to people around me or me".

Maybe you are the impulsive type and become involved in matters before you have considered all the possible ramifications. May I suggest before becoming involved you talk the matter over with someone else, hopefully somebody whose opinions you respect, and be guided by them

Perhaps you psychologist might be the one, I don't know.

You are always welcome to come here

Croix

Re: Complex PTSD

ComplexPTSD — Tue, 06 Jan 2026 03:02:31 GMT

Dear Croix, thanks for the reply.

Re: Complex PTSD

Eagle Ray — Thu, 22 Jan 2026 13:48:12 GMT

Hi ComplexPTSD,

I do think that complex PTSD and being drawn into chaotic people and situations often go hand in hand. Have you ever come across or read Pete Walker's book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving"? He talks about the patterns often seen in complex PTSD as fight, flight, freeze and fawn. People may lean more towards one of those patterns, often in relation to the trauma dynamic from childhood. With the fawn one, it's quite common for people with C-PTSD to feel like they have to act to help and appease others, even when it's not their responsibility. It can be a pattern ingrained so early in childhood that it feels like a necessary survival response (and for some children it was necessary for survival). So it's very easy to find oneself repeating the pattern in adulthood, taking on other people's dramas and burdens and feeling like you have to solve their problems. Then the next thing you know, you have a challenging situation unfolding.

I have C-PTSD too and for me it has been a gradual process of learning that I don't need to constantly try to anticipate and solve other people's issues, as if my life depends on it. Also, I am learning that I can have a boundary around myself and that is healthy. The more I have a sense of myself as a bounded entity with my own feelings, emotions and needs, the more I am able to recognise where I stop and other people start. In the past I got caught up in many people's dramas and used up huge amounts of energy and effort doing so. It felt like I had no choice and going back to when I was a child I didn't have a choice. I was trained back then to be highly attuned and sensitive to the needs of others but to ignore and invalidate myself.

So a first step may be validating your own personal space and sense of yourself as someone with a very legitimate boundary to respect and take care of. You and your needs and feelings matter. Simply slowing down and grounding yourself, especially when you feel the urge to jump in and fix someone else's problems, may be helpful. You can think of this as a need to pause before acting, perhaps by doing some meditation or going to a place that gives you a sense of being away from things and reconnects you with your senses. This could be somewhere in nature such as where you can feel the breeze or the sun on your skin, basically something to bring you back to yourself. Give yourself time to reflect before acting on things just by being in the present moment. So often with complex trauma we are hypervigilant and just reacting, rather than slowing down and being more present with ourselves. It was actually my therapist I remember who advised me I am actually allowed to pause before making decisions. I don't have to immediately respond to a person or a situation and can give it space.

Those are just some thoughts anyway. Take good care,

Eagle Ray

Re: Complex PTSD

Annas1 — Thu, 22 Jan 2026 21:46:21 GMT

I think ER's response captures my experience and thoughts about the impact of inadequate/harmful early relational patterns that become impediments to living our adult lives. I too learnt to accommodate and anticipate others' needs to the detriment of my own wellbeing. It becomes one's identity and so I have found it a slow and ongoing project to unravel these patterns and redraw a new, freer sense of myself.

I now try to adopt a kindly, nurturing attitude toward my old habits - they made perfect sense historically, however I want to choose a different way of being in the world today that is self-considerate. At the same time, the pull of the pleasing/fawning/perfecting response in me is often automatic and insistant. I also fear a negative reaction from others. This leads to the thought that I might be rejected, which, until recently, has seemed intolerable. I am trying to endure the ambiguity of how others may or may not view me - what matters is how I see myself. So, I have a map of where I would like to develop my inner journey, but I am definately getting scraped and scuffed up along the way there!

Support from psychologists and counsellors has been essential, as well as a few confidantes who appreciate me and recognise my challenges. Take heart, stay with yourself and trust that you will make progress towards a life that has more meaning and balance.