topic Birthday card from abusive family in PTSD and trauma

Birthday card from abusive family

Rach28 — Mon, 07 Jul 2025 14:20:36 GMT

Hi everyone! So yesterday I turned 34. Pretty exciting another year wider. Anyway.. so i had a great day. But... I got a card from my abusive famiky. And it brought up a million emotions. I cried. I felt angry. Everything. Grief all over again. I wanted to ask what do you think the reason was sending the card? I don't understand honestly. Plus its a huge invasion of privacy and I never actually asked for a card or disclosed my address to them. They have been stalking me for years online and found out somehow. So yeah. Look what are your thoughts guys!? Cause I don't know what to think. Its a strange card with "love bombing" language. I just cant even understand it. After all the abuse they caused - why act innocent.

Re: Birthday card from abusive family

white knight — Tue, 08 Jul 2025 04:00:27 GMT

Hi, welcome

Throughout my life ive had abuse mainly from my mother but also others. When estranged from them on each occasion they will eventually contact me using major developments as justification. Eg my birthday, a death in the family, inheritance issues, an anniversary. This is because-

They haven't got the capacity to talk as adults to me when the separation began
They get you at your weakest point
They think it justifies contact
They don't respect your wishes

It's easy to find someone, electoral role search, phone, word of mouth. As an ex PI I could find most people. Your task is to learn to ignore their attempts. My technique was to write "return to sender on it and post it.

Eventually they'll get the message. So bin it or post it back.

I hope you are ok

TonyWK

Re: Birthday card from abusive family

Rach28 — Tue, 08 Jul 2025 08:01:14 GMT

Hey. Yeah I hate how my private info is public. Especially when ive been estranged from them since 2018 and its 2025.

Which makes no sense why they won't just bugger off. I've called the police on them and sadly nothing was done. They live on this "grey area" where you arent threatening me but they aren't respecting my boundaries and wishes. Even after Police contacted them directly. And I'm okay. But also not okay. This stuff traumatises me. I have an abusive ex who I ended ties with back in 2020. Plus I'm a sexual assault victim twice. So I have severe PTSD and trauma response. I don't love my family anymore. I've grieved them for years and stopped waiting for an apology. They will never say I'm Sorry. They cant recognise the harm they are causing sending a love bomb on a stupid birthday card. Full of fake words like "Mum" and "Dad". Affectionate words I don't associate with anymore. I prefer "Mother" and "Father" less affection. I just wish I could disappear and they wouldn't ever find me. Plus they couldn't even spell my address suburb right. To me that adds to the disrespect.

Re: Birthday card from abusive family

Rach28 — Tue, 08 Jul 2025 07:52:02 GMT

I threw the card out. I didn't want to keep it. I just felt no love or happiness to the cars. Empty words. Hopefully they stop because this behaviour is childish.