https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/ptsd-and-trauma/bpd-domestic-violence/m-p/518502#M18751 <P>I don’t know how to talk about this nor where to start.</P> <P>I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at the beginning of the year. It took 23 years. I feel hurt and angry that my happiness was stripped of my at such a young age before I had any idea.</P> <P>2 years ago I dated a guy, and at first he was wonderful, I’d never felt so alive. But of course as it went on things got darker. Constant mental abuse alongside physical, I don’t know who to talk to about it nor how. It’s fed my BPD.&nbsp;<BR /> <BR /> I have a lot of empathy, too much. He was severely schizophrenic, he was also on drugs at the end which I had helped him to get off. but he had been up for almost a week, on methamphetamines. he was 20 at the time, I was 21.</P> <P>He is currently in jail for something else and is currently about to face about 4 years minimum. But being sober and medicated, I picked up a call from him, he sounded.. happy? So much healthier. I also received a letter off him saying he has not been able to love since me. I don’t know how to feel, as I I don’t know if I’ll ever lose what I had for him despite everything.</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> Sun, 27 Sep 2020 15:59:03 GMT yvngxblud 2020-09-27T15:59:03Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/ptsd-and-trauma/bpd-domestic-violence/m-p/518502#M18751 <P>I don’t know how to talk about this nor where to start.</P> <P>I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at the beginning of the year. It took 23 years. I feel hurt and angry that my happiness was stripped of my at such a young age before I had any idea.</P> <P>2 years ago I dated a guy, and at first he was wonderful, I’d never felt so alive. But of course as it went on things got darker. Constant mental abuse alongside physical, I don’t know who to talk to about it nor how. It’s fed my BPD.&nbsp;<BR /> <BR /> I have a lot of empathy, too much. He was severely schizophrenic, he was also on drugs at the end which I had helped him to get off. but he had been up for almost a week, on methamphetamines. he was 20 at the time, I was 21.</P> <P>He is currently in jail for something else and is currently about to face about 4 years minimum. But being sober and medicated, I picked up a call from him, he sounded.. happy? So much healthier. I also received a letter off him saying he has not been able to love since me. I don’t know how to feel, as I I don’t know if I’ll ever lose what I had for him despite everything.</P> <P>&nbsp;</P> Sun, 27 Sep 2020 15:59:03 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/ptsd-and-trauma/bpd-domestic-violence/m-p/518502#M18751 yvngxblud 2020-09-27T15:59:03Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/ptsd-and-trauma/bpd-domestic-violence/m-p/518503#M18752 Hi, welcome <BR /> <BR />Love is full of emotion and little logic. <BR /> <BR />I had a car once that I loved, a yellow sports car I wanted to restore. It's engine stopped running, needed brakes and tyres. In the end I realised I continued to love the car as I loved yellow and the dream of it being driven down the road. Sense prevailed, sold it and bought another one that treated me better. <BR /> <BR />Perhaps you feel glimpses of happiness from him hoping you can one day be happy but in reality it is a long shot and not realistic. <BR /> <BR />Good luck. <BR /> <BR />TonyWK Sun, 27 Sep 2020 18:54:44 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/ptsd-and-trauma/bpd-domestic-violence/m-p/518503#M18752 white knight 2020-09-27T18:54:44Z