topic Introducing Myself - Snoopy56 in PTSD and trauma

Introducing Myself - Snoopy56

Snoppy — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 12:33:32 GMT

Hi, I am 64 years old. I am divorced since 2009. I live alone with my cat, Mitzi who is 12 years old. I have suffered depression since I was very young. My childhood was an unhappy one with a father who committed suicide when I was only 3 years old and a mother who didn't know how to love. School was also hard as I was extremely shy and poor. Kids picked on me a lot. High school wasn't much better, I spent a lot of time alone. I moved to Queensland when I was 20 years old. I married and had a son. The marriage was abusive causing me to fear for my safety. It took 33 years before I had the courage to leave him. For years later I was in fear that my Ex would find me. I am now medically retired from the Police Service after being hospitalised for 3 months. I had attempted to end my life. I had ect, 12 treatments which caused me to forget how I had attempted suicide as well as what I did for my job. Since then I have been admitted into Mental Health Units about 4 times. Medication I was given caused me to appear as if I had early onset of Dementia but it was proven to be incorrect. I had tried CBT, DBT with little success. I was diagnosed as having severe PTSD after many years of seeing Psychiatrists who treated me for Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depression, severe Anxiety and OCD. I found little help with the numerous Psychologists I have seen because many use only one tool, CBT. This tool didn't help after going to Outpatients sessions at New Farm for almost 2 years. I have found a Clinical Psychologist that is treating my PTSD. I see her weekly because I cannot cope with life on my own. I didn't necessarily choose to be alone but my son has abandoned me and my nearest family member is in New South Wales. The village where I live I am not welcomed because of my age. There are many who treat me with hurtful comments. I no longer attend any functions at the village. They don't know I have Mental Health issues, if they did it would make life at the village worse than it is at present. I don't have any friends to speak of, certainly anyone to talk to when the pain from my Fibromyalgia is so bad or I can't sleep for fear I have another nightmare. I hope my experiences in life can help others who have periods of deep depression. That's my story.

Introducing Myself - Snoopy56

quirkywords — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 20:56:46 GMT

Welcome snappy to the forums where there is support and friendly people.

you have had certainly experienced many difficult things in your life.

i like the way you want to help others. If you browse the forum you may find threads that interest you.

i am a similar age and it can be hard to fit in at times.

welcome again

quirky

Introducing Myself - Snoopy56

quirkywords — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 20:59:15 GMT

Sorry snoppy my auto correct changed your name.

Introducing Myself - Snoopy56

Snoppy — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 10:22:49 GMT

Hi quirkywords, One thing I learnt over the years is people who have PTSD and trauma in their lives will understand a forum such as this. No matter how often a person sees a professional Psychologist it is usually some time late at night when you need someone to hear your cries. This is the place.

Introducing Myself - Snoopy56

monkey_magic — Thu, 23 Jan 2020 12:43:48 GMT

Hi Snoppy,

It sounds as though you've had a lifetime of pain and trauma from your introduction and have tried many avenues to help yourself.
I too have been through the mental health system and believe it's done more harm than good.
I've also had a pretty bad ex partner who I was also in fear of.
It's great that you've come here as I'm sure there are many stories you can relate to and hopefully find some solace or comfort in.
I've heard your cries and I really hope you are doing okay or if not that's ok too.
You are welcome here and this is your thread to say as much or as little as you want.
Sorry life has dealt you so much. I hope there are also happy memories you can look back on or create.
Ppl can definitely be hurtful creatures, I've had my fair share of that as well.
Wow, so you were in the Police force? That takes a lot of courage and skill... I'm sure you have so many stories to tell.
Look forward to hopefully hearing from you again.