topic New psychologist...... in PTSD and trauma

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Mon, 05 Feb 2018 07:18:47 GMT

Hi all

Everyone welcome to have their input.

This week I'm off to see a new psychologist. My previous one retired and I've been trying to find a new one. The last two were pretty average and didn't help me at all in what I needed, i.e. to get through episodes of PTSD, anxiety and depression.

So, how am I feeling? While I've been waiting for my appointment, I've become very active in writing in BB. This has helped me to realise how - NOT ALONE I am. While it's not good for those of you who are experiencing these episodes, I do take comfort that help is at hand.

So, what am I afraid of? That I have to retell, relive, re-experience my trauma(s). Yuk, oh yuk. However!! When I started with my last (good) psychologist, she did not need me to retell, relive, re-experience my trauma. It was good enough for her that I had already opened up everything and explored all the hidden secrets with the previous psych! So it was easy for us to move on to 'identifying those things I was currently experience', 'what processes I needed to put in place to move on', 'get in touch with my inner child and give her the comfort she'd never had'.

So, what does this Thursday have install for me..... Hopefully, if he's worth his weight in gold, i'll not need to open up the scabs that have closed and healed. That we'll move on to how to proceed being retired, no longer working, suffering bouts of PTSD, anxiety and depression. So keep your fingers crossed for me.... Will let you know how I go (BTW, my GP says he's very good 🙂 ) Here's hoping!!

Kind regards

New psychologist......

Guest8901 — Mon, 05 Feb 2018 07:33:31 GMT

Hi Pamela, I hope he's everything you just described.

Its a little different for me however, because although I'm seeing a new psychologist .. for me its my first. So I still have to go through all that stuff you spoke of, exploring all those hidden secrets. Urgh.

But I understand what you're saying. And I really hope you have a really good connection with this new psych. I look forward to hearing from you about how it goes.

Amanda

New psychologist......

bindi-QLD — Mon, 05 Feb 2018 22:08:45 GMT

Hi Pam,

I just wanted to give you some big internet hugs X. I really can understand how you feel. Meeting someone new is tricky; you realize they will need to properly understand your history, but you also want to protect yourself from becoming overly anxious or, at worst, having another breakdown.

The last psychologist I saw was a stranger and a fairly new graduate, but was very comfortable staying in the present and dealing with strategies. I expect it comes with their training these days; that was very reassuring.

I hope this therapist is someone you click with. It may take a few meetings before you know or not.

Do you have any anxiety about the gender of your therapist?

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Mon, 05 Feb 2018 22:35:55 GMT

Hi Bindi

Thank you for your encouraging post.

No i don't have an anxiety issues over gender of psych. I have been to male mental health therapy workers before. So no worries. Thank you 🙂

New psychologist......

geoff — Mon, 05 Feb 2018 22:48:27 GMT

hi Pamela, I am really sorry for this to happen but I can concur with you because exactly the same happened to me.

My previous psychologist I had been seeing for 20 years, a long time but it was a workcover file, so my time in seeing didn't matter.

She was great and she could even remember names of people who had hardly been mentioned, but when she left, I was shocked, disappointed and saddened, especially not being told she was leaving.

The next psych I saw was not my cup of tea, as he said was completely the opposite to how I felt, and even believed that I shouldn't be taking any off the shelf painkillers.

Your anxiety, depression and PTSD maybe complex so I'm not sure they will know all the details, doctor-patient, so if you are able to note the main points associated with your condition then this may break the intro between you and him and not open up any points which have been sealed.

Please let us know. Geoff.

New psychologist......

bindi-QLD — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 00:39:21 GMT

Hi Pam,

It's great to hear from you, I've been missing chatting to you lately:)

I figured you would be open minded to either gender as your new psychologist, and I agree, it comes down to the person, doesn't it?

I did put a little bit of thought into gender differences myself, when I started to notice my behavior change subtly around male versus female mental health professionals.

One thing I acknowledged, is I trust men much more easily. My mother was highly abusive , as well as mentally and emotionally manipulative. So its just a bit easier for me to feel safe around men. On the other hand, when I've had the good fortune of meeting a beautifully empathetic and nurturing female psychologist, I was very deeply touched. The kindness and understanding made me ache inside, to the point where it could reduce me to tears. I think perhaps it reminded me of something I am missing, and it brought out my softness and fragility- perhaps the neglected inner child.

Although I have a wonderful male GP and had really great male psychiatrists, I tend to be a bit more detached with them. I think I put myself in that role because I was strong for my father, who was always depressed or in a state of grief.

So I wonder if I perhaps accidentally coerced those professionals into enabling my emotional detachment, by hiding my needy side? Its something I feel I should watch, since inner child healing is probably what I need most.

Have you tried any of that with male mental health professionals yet? I'm quite certain they would be more than capable of it.

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 01:00:25 GMT

Hello Geoff

Thank you for your encouraging post. Yes, I think you could say my depression, anxiety and PTSD is complex and identifying the main points sounds a very good thing to do. I will certainly start to make a list!! Good one.

Cheers for now.

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 01:13:16 GMT

Hi Bindi

Yes, it has been awhile since we've chatted. I've been busy over the past week or so and while I've been popping in now and then to see what's happening, I haven't posted 'too' much 🙂

Well yes, my mother was manipulative, controlling and unemotional. I found for years I steered clear of closeness with women. However, this has changed as I've healed.

I did see a couple of male social workers for awhile. I don't think those sessions were overly detached. Because i am an open person, i tend to talk about anything and everything. It took me ages to talk about emotions and feelings - mainly because i really had no idea what these were for a long time. I'll keep in mind to ensure I get what I need from my sessions with my psychologist. If it's not happening then I guess I have the option of ceasing to go and asking my GP for a new one. My GP is happy for me to find the right psychologist.

New psychologist......

bindi-QLD — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 02:43:28 GMT

Hi Pam,

I have every confidence in you; you are well advanced in your healing and know what you do and don't need. I liked what Geoff suggested too, about writing a list.

I guess I was mainly wondering if you'd done `inner child' type healing work with a male psychologist at all, to compare? I have every confidence that it would be possible, the first person to really make me understand about inner child healing was a male psychologist (he was a friend though, not my own therapist).

I only ever started thinking about the role of a female in my healing when I was in American support groups. Women who were abused by mothers often mentioned this idea of a `substitute mother' kind of therapist, and how healing it was for them.

Its not something I can say I have any opinion about, or any personal experience. Its just that it was mentioned and I wondered if you might know more about it?

Anyway thanks for sharing your experiences, they help a lot.

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Tue, 06 Feb 2018 16:12:45 GMT

Hi Bindi

Thank you for sharing that information about the therapist as the 'substitute mother' and inner child therapy.

No I haven't heard of it. Sounds interesting I must say.

The work i've done is more about me as the adult (so i guess being somewhat maternal) talking with the younger me. The role of the therapist in my past experience is one of - getting me to realise that I (the adult) needed to acknowledge that the little girl's concerns, emotions and fears. And of course to give her the love she never had. Generally in these instances, I (the adult) have ignored the pain and hurt she was suffering because of something I did in current time. That something often lacked feeling emotions. I was so good at ignoring (avoiding, not knowing) my emotions. To be honest, I would find it rather confronting if the therapist (male or female) took on that role when it is me the adult who needs to consider, love and cherish the little girl. In most cases i now am much more aware of my emotions as they occur (rather than bottling them up). I think this therapy has helped me to recognise and acknowledge what i'm feeling... It has been really good. I have healed so much.

I'm not sure that my appt with my new psych needs to cover these areas. But because i'm a great one for masking, he may need to help me uncover things i'm avoiding.

Thank you for your input Bindi, I really find it thought provoking.

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Wed, 07 Feb 2018 08:16:20 GMT

Hi everyone

Didn't sleep at all last night, though I did sleep from 4.45 to 11.00. My appt with the new psychologist is tomorrow. I've been thinking about what to put in the list of things to discuss (it's getting very long) - having a wine tonight to settle me down a little so i can sleep tonight... Having alcohol to sleep is not good and I really don't want to make this a habit... Easy to do when you don't have to get up to go to work the next day 😞

Where do I start, what's most pressing, eek. I'm not so good at evaluating my self conscious. It doesn't like to expose itself. That makes it difficult to self manage. Must stop angsting and hopefully the psych will take the lead and ask me the questions he needs to help me.... Here's hoping.

New psychologist......

blondguy — Wed, 07 Feb 2018 10:10:28 GMT

Hi Pamela

Congratulations on your VC by the way 🙂

Nice1 having your appointment tomorrow Pamela...thats excellent....and yes Im serious

I saw a terrific mental health worker in a community center in 1996 and I thought I was wasting my time and was mega nervous too.....(he was free so I grabbed the offer of help:-))

This was my second visit with him and he zeroed straight in to the reasons I was stressed. He then asked me to go in to more detail about my dad.......within 5 minutes I was crying like a baby.....and I had no idea of how clear and peaceful I would feel the next day...It was a light peaceful feeling devoid of anxiety. (I still had to see him every week for 7 months to 'fine tune' my old thinking)

Sure...initially I was very scared...mega embarrassed...at how my much I was crying...This guy found a way to unlock the door from the pain I was going through by asking me some questions....It was that simple

At the time when I was crying I was more worried about what the receptionist and people in the waiting room would think of me.....(I was 36 and more worried about what people thought of me instead of my own recovery)

Just sharing if thats okay Pamela. My apologies for not being on your thread earlier

When we blow off the steam we have bottled up......then we start to heal.....more effectively than ever before

Hugs for you (if thats okay of course) 🙂

Paul

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Wed, 07 Feb 2018 10:46:14 GMT

Thank you heaps Paul!!!

Yes, I know the release I'll get, I guess it's just the apprehension. Yes, the steam has been bottled up...

Hugs caught! I'm a big one for hugs. Love them to bits. 🙂

New psychologist......

blondguy — Wed, 07 Feb 2018 10:53:11 GMT

Thankyou so much Pamela for the kind post 🙂 You just made my day!

The anticipation is a pain for sure....I remember it very well

As you mentioned the release is wonderful

Do you have a morning or afternoon appointment?

Paul

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Wed, 07 Feb 2018 11:31:38 GMT

Glad I made your day Paul 🙂

Nice to know someone understands the pain. Though it's not nice for you or for me. But it is what it is.

I have a morning appointment. Through all the b.....y traffic, ugh.

New psychologist......

blondguy — Wed, 07 Feb 2018 11:45:52 GMT

Hey Pamela

Thats a small but important bonus that you have a AM appointment as you dont have to overthink the appointment all day

Do you have anyone you can call when you are on your way to the appointment? Not for help or anything...just a gas bag to someone that loves a good chat....The drive will pass in no time.....Its probably the cell phone being a distraction but your drive in the traffic will be secondary if someone is yakking away on handsfree

In traffic I always used to call....anyone...and just say hello and then before I knew it I was at my destination.

A copy of the daily newspaper is also a good distraction as anxiety cant manifest when our thoughts are elsewhere

Just throwing it out there if thats okay 🙂

Be gentle to yourself Pamela.....you deserve to be

Hugs

Paul

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Wed, 07 Feb 2018 11:59:25 GMT

Hi Paul

Ah, never thought about that, but you're right. Having a morning appointment means I won't dwell on it. It never used to be an issue really because I generally worked all day 🙂 Now though, it's a little different.

Tend to not talk and drive, even hands free. Usually listen to classical music (or folk, or techno - depending on my mood.) Tomorrow i think classical, or Justine Timberlake or Pink LOL it helps to relax. I usually sing out loud. The alternative is to take my husband with me. He's offered, especially to drive me home. But I think I'm up for it. If not, I'll go and have a coffee before driving home.

Hugs

New psychologist......

PamelaR — Thu, 08 Feb 2018 07:17:39 GMT

Hello all

Huge thanks to those who have popped by to post - Geoff, Blondguy (you're a legend Paul), Mandy8 (Amanda), Bindi. Hugs all around. If you hadn't already gathered I'm a hugger!!

Everyones input, feedback, responses (what I want to hear and what I don't want to hear) are totally welcome

First appt with new psychologist today. Think this one is a goer. Has helped me already through giving me a 'structure' of how the mind works and some HOMEWORK :). Great!!

The downside, hmmm, as I anticipated I will have to visit the past and lift the lid on stuff I probably don't want to do to help me move on. But the reality is, I survived before and I will survive again!! This time I'm in a much better head space than I was before. So now I can say - BRING IT ON.

It is amazing the anxiety i was feeling before and after the appointment, and how I'm now beginning to feel a little more alive and able to assess what's happening.... Dare I say a little more energy. Did a little work in the garden this afternoon - woohoo. That maybe because I found some 'sweet potatoes' yesterday. I didn't even plant them - they grew up from the compost. Howzthat??

Thanks once again all you beautiful caring people!!

New psychologist......

blondguy — Fri, 09 Feb 2018 10:12:11 GMT

Hi Pamela

Kudos to you for your achievement 🙂 You have done so well!

Thankyou for the super kind post too

Nice1

Paul

New psychologist......

Ggrand — Mon, 12 Feb 2018 08:10:06 GMT

Hello Pamela, and everyone else.

I have been seeing my Pysch for a couple of months now, but only for anxiety, sadness, ptsd. and depression. I think she was trying to get me to feel more comfortable with her. I can't, for some reason trust her.

My last visit, was the first time she asked me to disclose a small part of my life, I did, but we never talked about it, I was then shown the door as soon as time was up. I left there a total mess, and stayed that way until a few days ago.

My next appointment will be in 8 days a continuation no doubt from my last appointment. I know if I feel the same as my first visit again, how I'm going to feel afterwards,

I have read here on some threads that after people disclosed their secrets, and talk even a little, that they feel a rush of release for them, and they felt more accepting and peaceful with their lives. Why didn't this happen for me.

Why didnt / don't I feel this, to tell you the truth I am frightened to go back for my next visit, but an agreement means I have no choice. I felt so much hate for myself after the last visit, that I was scared of what I might do.....Will all this get better, their iis no other Pysch available. Unless I travel hundreds of kilometres,.

Pam you seem to be comfortable with your Pysch, can I ask you if that's ok, Resurfacing your trauma from before with your new pysch, will this bring you down or do you think give you that sense of release.

Karen. (Grandy).