topic Surviving trauma therapy in PTSD and trauma

Surviving trauma therapy

TealRibbon — Fri, 11 May 2018 09:26:34 GMT

Hi,

I’m new here. I was hoping to find some people who I can share with and support each other on the way.

I have a history of childhood sexual abuse and have been in therapy for years and a few times admitted to hospital. My therapy at the moment is really overwhelming and leaves me confused and numb a lot and I was hoping to find people here who know what I’m talking about.

I don’t want to share any more details about my abuse, it’s more about helping each other in be here and now.

Thank you.

Surviving trauma therapy

Doolhof — Fri, 11 May 2018 22:54:58 GMT

Hi Teal Ribbon,

Welcome to the community here. You certainly don't need to share anything you don't feel comfortable doing.

My story is different from yours, I experienced abuse as an adult and not a child, so I have little understanding of the pain and trauma you have experienced as a child.

I just want to let you know that your story has touched me and I hope that others reach out to you here.

Are there things you can do after a therapy session to help you wind down? I try to schedule a walk after a session, it helps me to clear my head a little.

I also find that writing down the thoughts that are rushing and swirling through my head helps.

I try to find something good in each day and focus on that for a while.

We can not change the past. We can make plans for the future. Even if they are only small goals. Having something to look forward to in life can make a huge difference to each day.

It can be so very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is there. Even if it is just a tiny candle flame in the darkness.

I usually sign off "Cheers" but that doesn't really seem suitable when you have experienced so much trauma. So regards to you, from Dools

Surviving trauma therapy

startingnew — Sat, 12 May 2018 00:41:13 GMT

Hi TealRibbon

well done on reaching out for some extra supports. your not alone in what you experienced. i have experiences SA as a child and emotional abuse as i was growing up (and still on going) so can understand what you might be feeling.

im in trauma therapy as well (although for a different trauma atm) but like you it is very overwhelming and brings up lots of things i thought i had long forgotten. are you able to talk to your psychologist about how your coping with these sessions? she/he might be able to try another approach or slow down abit more to a pace that your comfortable with?

Mrs D (Doolhof) has brought an important point up- that being self care. do you do much self care yourself? do you have any extra supports in place like a mh worker to help you manage in between sessions?

Ill leave it there for now, again welcome and please keep talking. we are here for you

Surviving trauma therapy

TealRibbon — Sat, 12 May 2018 05:19:34 GMT

Hello Dools,

thank you for your message.

I’m sorry you’ve experienced abuse as an adult, it is so horrible to experience something like that.

I often walk through the shops after my sessions so I can see life around me. Even if I don’t notice anything particular and cannot focus, I hear the world continuing around me. I also feel a little safer when there are a lot of people around me, but the noise makes me tired.

I struggle to write. I’ve done art therapy in the past and continue to paint. It’s not ‘fine art’ I’m not an artist, it’s more an outlet and I sometimes share it with my therapist.

Like you I try to keep a gratefulness diary and try to plan things. It’s just when I get unwell I seem to lose touch. It’s hard to explain. It’s not really like I don’t want to do something, I get very numb and disconnected from the here and now.

Take care and you can always say ‘Cheers’ I will know that you won’t mean it as a celebration.

Surviving trauma therapy

TealRibbon — Sat, 12 May 2018 05:29:39 GMT

Hello startingnew

What kind of trauma therapy have you done previously? My therapist adjusts as we go, there’s a lot of psycho and interpersonal therapy, DBT and schema. I did CBT in hospital and with other psychologists, but CBT triggered me pretty badly so I stay away from it.

I understand how trauma therapy brings up a lot of past and forgotten memories, I have a lot of flashbacks and also, I think they are called somatic flashbacks, where I don’t have memories but physical reactions. Both are bad but the physical ones scare me more as it is like a dark secret and I don’t know it.

I have Flashcards for all sorts of self-care but like I said to Dools, I lose touch when I’m unwell. I don’t have a mental health worker, I actually don’t know what that is. I have a psychiatrist and a GP that also support me and I’ve been to hospital a few times when things got very rough.

Take care

Surviving trauma therapy

Doolhof — Sun, 13 May 2018 06:37:37 GMT

Hi Teal Ribbon,

I too like to use a sense of creativity to help with my depression. Now and then I get my paints out and splash some colour onto paper or canvas. Even colouring in a book helps or just getting a piece of paper and seeing what happens when I start to draw. I'm certainly no artist, it is the participating in the project that counts.

There are times when I don't feel like I can manage to do anything like that myself, so I will look at art work, craft books, Google a painting subject or look in colouring books even if I don't do anything.

I totally understand the times when it just seems all too difficult to find the motivation to do something, looking and admiring seems to help to calm my mind and sense and self.

Sometimes, the harder I try to push myself to do something, the more resistant I become! It is like fighting against oneself. I realise that gets me no where, so I need to accept I can't cope at that moment and try something else.

Going to the shopping centre for distraction after a session is a good idea if it helps you. They can be noisy places! I like to find a store that is not quite so noisy. Some shops have their music so loud it is deafening.

Hope you are having a good weekend!

Cheers to you from Dools

Surviving trauma therapy

startingnew — Mon, 14 May 2018 01:30:59 GMT

Hi Teal Ribbon

I was doing CBT as well. atm im doing Trauma therapy and it seems likes its a mix of CBT and exposure therapy. i find it incredibly triggerring too.

I know exactly what your talking about with those flashbacks! i get those alot too and your right they are really scary and its so hard to explain to others unless they get it. ive tried to explain it to a helpline once before when i was struggling with it and they didnt seem to understand. have you found anything to help with these? i might be able to suggest soemthing but dont want to suggest things youve already tried.

Have a look online- type in Mental Health worker or Peer Support worker and im sure itll bring up things.

Mrs D has given some good suggestions on self care and ways to cope. do any of those sound ok? do you have any strategies that do help you?

Surviving trauma therapy

TealRibbon — Mon, 14 May 2018 11:03:46 GMT

Hello

im not really sure what to say tonight. I struggle a lot when it gets dark and it’s dark a lot this time of the year. I’m empty and numb. Scared of the pictures in my head and feeling completely helpless to stop them. And I feel very stupid that I cannot use what I learnt and especially that I cannot tell myself that I’m here and now.

Surviving trauma therapy

Ggrand — Mon, 14 May 2018 14:47:16 GMT

Hello Teal,

Im sorry your struggling with darkness.

I also have C-PTSD.. and PTSD...I won't go into details here,mifvthats okay..This is your thread, so I'll see if I can help you..

I get a lot of flash backs, which sends my downninto the darkness your talking about..even a simple word, smell, if I see something, they can all send me down in a slit second..

When I'm in the darkness, I'm crying a lot, shaking and scared... We need to get your thought away from the pictures...Please sweetheart, Please breath....out...on the exhale say in your mind the word relax...so breath in......breath out saying relax slowly....keep doing this until you feel better and relaxed with your breathing...Maybe now lay down put your earplugs in and try if you can find Leo Rojas..pan flute...turn up your phone a little bit louder then usual then just lay back and listen...spirit of the hawk, is a favourite of mine...or you can put an instrumental on and follow one instrument right through the song...it's always best an instrumental, no words, for grounding music...

Hopefuly this will get your mind away from the pictures, and then then pictures should disappear and then you may hopefully relax enough to sleep...This usually works for me..but unfortunately sometimes it doesn't work for everyone..please just give it a try, and let me know how you went tomorrow...

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..