topic over it in Depression

over it

MrsCam — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 10:21:16 GMT

I know it is just a low phase and I will come out the other side, as I usually do, but I am so over it right now...not feeling too great physically which makes it worse, have been alternating between freezing cold & boiling hot all day... I wish I could just escape sometimes from myself and my life... I know its not the answer but it would be so damn easy and I think a relief to just be done... have another counselling session tomorrow and we have discussed this before, that I dont need to get too stressed about the low times as I know they will pass but still it is hard...just wanted to vent to someone who would understand, I dont have much of that in my world...

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Jo3 — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 11:02:25 GMT

Hi Mrs C

I can understand exactly what you're saying. Because I have had the same thoughts many times - just to escape from everything.

Take care, hope you're feeling better tomorrow

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luvkat888 — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 11:26:02 GMT

I FEEL YA!

I feel like I'm about to give u advice my councillor always gives me and i get frustrated about but when I do come out the end I'm like yeahhh she was right. Sounds like you actually know what I'm going to say but you need to hear it from someone else.

You will get out of it! YAY!..there's no point dwelling in that bad feeling. Say to yourself "I realise this is a low phase" then acknowledge that you feel sad about it and move on 🙂

I know its easier said then done but its worth a shot. It helps me alot! Low times make you appreciate the good times more and you should feel proud of yourself that you can actually get out of the low phases

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MrsCam — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 11:52:58 GMT

thanks for your reply...

yeh at last weeks session we discussed this... I said to her I used to go into panic mode when Id been going along ok then the bad feelings would come back out of nowhere but now I know its just a phase and as I said in my original post I think this week it is more physical than mental..

I know I will be ok again...

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--Danny-- — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 13:00:09 GMT

MrsCam, sounds like ur having a dirty day...I hope u feel better son mate..if u wanna have a chat & vent your frustrations I'm here!!

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geoff — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 16:47:49 GMT

dear Mrs, Cam, I had wondered why we hadn't heard from you, so please get back to us so we can have a chat, because something has gone wrong for you and when this happens it's never good for you. L Geoff. x

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AGrace — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 22:11:21 GMT

Mrs Cam,

This is one of my favourite poems, written by an anonymous person while in a mental institute in QLD. I think it expresses what we all need from time to time - just an ear.

Listen

When I ask you to listen to me

and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me

and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me

and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen!

All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do, just hear me.

Advice is cheap:

25¢ will get you in the newspaper.

I can do for myself:

I’m not helpless. May be discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can do for myself,

you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But when you except as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,

no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you I can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.

When that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.

So, please listen and just hear me, and, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn: and I’ll listen to you.

AGrace

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BeeGee — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 22:53:13 GMT

Beautiful - and perfect.

We're listening.

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Neil_1 — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 23:56:42 GMT

Dear Mrs C

Hello there. Wonderful to hear from you again. And as Geoff said, you have been a bit quiet on the old B.B. site over recent times and I guess when that happens, one thing that springs to mind, is that our dear person isn’t perhaps feeling overly flash. And this be quite true.

Just a quick digression to welcome LuvKat to the site and way to go for providing support for your first post. I hope that you can create your own thread soon and we can get to know and assist you as best we can?

Those feelings Mrs C of the extremes in temp are never a good thing – and usually it’s a lead up to some sort of bug, virus or flu, yeah?? Not sure how you are today (Thursday), but I hope that whatever it was has passed and didn’t take hold. There’s two real bad things that spring to mind when you’re suffering badly with mental health and that is: (a) you come down with some sort of virus, physical sickness or (b) you become injured. Either of these things can play merry hell with how we travel with mental health during these times.

Mrs C, I’m probably going to say stuff here that you already know, but here goes anyway. Try to eat pretty regularly, not big amounts and make it clean, healthy eating. Water – try to drink lots of water – or if not a fan of water, some kind of mineral water or cups of green tea/herbal tea – keep the body hydrated appropriately. A small walk outside if you can – and stop and notice things like trees, plants – birds, other animals – even the shapes or formations of clouds.

In the kitchen, something that stresses me is a dirty kitchen – but something that helps me on the flip side is a clean kitchen. Yes, it can take some effort. But I don’t look at it all in one go. I start from the very end of the kitchen bench and work my way along. Dishwasherable stuff into the dishwasher, rubbish into the bin, items for the pantry, into the pantry – you get the picture?

Then non-dishwasher stuff, get the sink with some good hot suddzy water and get to scrubbing/cleaning and just put them on the drying rack – then give the bench a good wipe down. Satisfied that things look 100% better. Go into another room for a bit and then walk back into the kitchen and look. I do this and it fills me with a really nice feeling. But you can’t stay in the other room for too long cause there’s some magical force about a kitchen that never lends itself to staying in that pristine condition for too long.

Kind regards

Neil

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MrsCam — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 08:45:18 GMT

Hi all thanks for your responses

Had my counselling this afternoon, cried my eyes out and talked about how I just want it all to stop... my counsellor called the medical centre here in our little town and got me an appointment with my gp for next thursday which is something of a miracle as it usually takes weeks to get in with him.... have considered flying down to perth and checking myself into a private facility there tho dont know what hubby would say about that... my counsellor gave me a reccomendation and I have just sent an email to them enquiring on the whole process.... dont know what Im going to do yet but this feeling better for a bit then hitting rock bottom again with no warning is really getting too much for me... this morning I wanted to just end it all and I havent felt like that in a long time....

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Girl_Anachronism — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 23:59:03 GMT

Hi Mrs Cam

I didn't know you were in WA. I am in Perth myself.

I am glad to hear you have professional supports on hand, and that they are monitoring you. It may seem like a long time, but just take it one day, or one hour at a time and it'll be time for the appointment before you know it.

I don't know much about the private facilities here, having only been in the public mental health system.it is an option that is worth investigating.

I know the place your in with those thoughts, having been there recently myself. I know how time drags and how the smallest thing can make everything seem too hard. I canonly hope that you feel comfortable to keep posting on here. If it does get to that desperate point, please call the number at the top of this page.

There is always a way out, a way to live from where we are, sometimes we just can't see it.

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geoff — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 00:24:42 GMT

dear Mrs.Cam, we worry about you and the state that you are in and the feeling that you have had enough.

When we suffer from depression we just don't know if and when it is going to deliver another powerful blow to us which does then puts us back to square one again, and all the work that we may have achieved is thrown out the window, and we can never predict this from happening, so when it does then you need all the help you can get.

I can't remember if you have health insurance, but your husband has to decide whether he wants you to recover which means going into a private hospital or the alternative and for you to suffer and by saying suffer, this doesn't relate to how bad you are at the moment, and from your post you aren't well at all, which means that our worry for you is extreme.

Please stay in contact with us, even tough you may not have the strength to do so, and this is very important for you as well as for us here. L Geoff. x

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MrsCam — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 05:43:54 GMT

Thanks guys...

Still struggling today tho I have been at work for the morning... Thats likely to start a whole other saga as my boss doesnt want my depression to impact the rest of the team and one of my coworkers saw me crying this morning... hopefully she wont tell anyone...

Yes we do have full private health and hubby is on board with the idea of me going into a clinic so I am waiting to bear back from there bout what the go is...

Home on my lunch break at the moment and Ive had a big cry so hopefully I can get through the rest of my work day... Id dearly love to just call up and say Im not coming back.... feel like Im in a bit of a no win situation cos Im told "dont come to work if youre not going to be upbeat" but then if I dont go in I hear all about how hard it is for everyone to be 1 staff person down... whichever way I go I cant really win 😞

Take care all and thanks for being there...

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Neil_1 — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 08:13:22 GMT

Hi there Mrs C

Do you at least have the weekend off work? I so hope so.

This is sounding very positive also re: the private facility in Perth. And wow, so good to hear that your hubby is good with all this. That must be a very good relief for you.

But it is sounding troubling times for you - and I'm glad that there are wheels in motion for you - and I hope they continue to turn for you even though the weekend is upon us. That hopefully shouldn't make any difference to situations like this.

If you're able to, please keep us posted with things.

Please take care,

Neil

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--Danny-- — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 11:58:57 GMT

Dear MrsCam, I hope u feel better soon..best of luck...keep strong

Warm regards,

Danny

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MrsCam — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:05:37 GMT

Thanks guys...

This afternoon was a little better. When I went back to work after my break I sat down on the big jumping mat and alot of the children were climbing on me and they kept giving me hugs which was nice... never mind that I am paid to care for & educate them, today the children were comforting me!!!

Feeling better tonite than I have for the past few days so hopefully the worst of the darkness has past, for this time at least...

Yes Neil I do have the next 2 days off work so that will be good...

Take care all

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--Danny-- — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:19:09 GMT

MrsCam, this is great news...I'm happy that u are starting to feel better!

Positivity rules the world!

Danny

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MrsCam — Sat, 21 Jun 2014 05:31:37 GMT

have decided to increase my medication again... I had been trying to wean back down to just 1 tablet each day and have been taking 1 1/2 for the past couple of months. this morning I took 2 which my gp said I should go back to if I feel the 1 1/2 is not enough. Will continue with 2 tablets each day till thursday when I see my gp and will discuss with him then. I am also going to ask him to write me a referral to the private clinic in Perth... Its so hard cos today I am feeling ok so if someone was to asses me right now they'd say "nup she is ok, she doesnt need to be admitted" but then when I have days like I did this past week i think I really could benefit from these programs....

hope everyone is having a good weekend

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--Danny-- — Sat, 21 Jun 2014 08:42:27 GMT

Hi MrsCam, I'm hoping you benefit from the increase of your medication! Sounds like you've had a few good days this week?

Best wishes,

Danny

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MrsCam — Mon, 23 Jun 2014 13:34:17 GMT

My gp had a cancellation today so I was able to see him. He sent off a referal for me and I am going into Perth Clinic on wednesday. He thinks a change in meds might be the go but would prefer I do that in a more safe & supportive environment...

Thank god for private health cover!!

Hope everyone has had a good day