topic totally lost in Depression

totally lost

gibby3794 — Tue, 17 Jun 2014 13:13:03 GMT

I have been depressed for a few years now, at the moment I am stuck in an apprenticeship I HATE because I cannot afford to quit, I am currently an apprentice chef and it is not fulfilling, can barely survive on the little pay I get, I want to do something in community services but with work do not have the time to do the course nor the financial means to actually enrol in or complete the course. my mother (whom I am close to) is moving away on Monday, the time has came so quick 😞 I don't even know if I want to stay here or go with her. my mind is just so messed up at the moment I have no idea about anything and cant even think clearly as there are 20 million things going through my mind at once I don't know what one to think about first and end up overloaded and breaking down, I have tried seeing a councillor, only got through two sessions and stopped going as I did not like it, I don't know weather it was the person or the whole counselling thing I didn't like. my finances are in a complete mess as it is right now I have three separate court warnings from three separate debt collectors about four of my debts and cannot afford to pay anything on any of them, and somehow I do not own anything besides a $1000 car, I do not even own the bed I sleep on and I have over 15k in debts, it may not seem like much but they all of a sudden got out of control and I cant fix it, I have tried getting consolidation loans but my credit has been dragged through the mud I cant even get finance for a chuppa chup from a hock shop.......

I just have no idea what to do anymore and don't know how to deal with things

sorry if it doesn't make sense but as I said my mind is jumbled hahah

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Struggler — Tue, 17 Jun 2014 14:07:35 GMT

Hi Gibbs

Welcome to this forum and congratulation on your first thread.

The life of an apprentice is hard, isn't it? Low pay, ridiculous split shifts, doing meaningless tasks, getting bossed around and so on. Even if you complete the apprenticeship, can you really see yourself working in that industry?

You said you are close to your mum and that is rare. Usually young people can't stand their parents even if the parents do nothing wrong. You contemplate going with your mum because she is moving. Have you discussed with her?

If you go with her, it doesn't mean all your problems will be gone especially your debt issue but at least you have support. Since you are close to her, she'll be a good source of support and advice in time of crisis. I suggest, your first step is to talk with her.

Let us know how you get along and thanks for posting.

Struggler

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Blue_ — Tue, 17 Jun 2014 22:34:55 GMT

Hi Gibby!

Ahh, the apprentice life. I had been doing my apprenticeship since I was 17 and now I'm nearly 22 and still not finished. I've been to 4 different salons and even though I really, really wanted to finish it, I couldn't. My heart wasn't in it. You need to follow your heart. Don't make any drastic decisions just yet though. Like Struggler said, if you can go to your Mum, do it. I'm sure she'll tell you finishing is the best thing to do but you want to do community services? I'm exactly the same! I'm sure you could go with your Mum, maybe not straight away. I don't know where you're living though. Is it an option to stay where you are, just for a while and apply for jobs, maybe more flexible jobs, and wait till you hear from somebody? KFC, Maccas, anything. You may hate the job but you could be with your Mum AND maybe start your community services course.

Just an idea to get the ball rolling.

Can't wait to hear from you!

Love Cas ❤️

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geoff — Tue, 17 Jun 2014 23:37:54 GMT

dear Gibby, I am so pleased that Struggler and Blue have welcomed you, and with some great ideas and suggestions.

Yes it is hard being an apprentice as there little thanks for all the worst jobs that you are thrown into.

I do have a question for you and I wonder whether your mum knows of the debt that you are carrying, so is this one reason why she wants to move, because she can't help you financially.

There are many places that you could contact with regard to the money you owe, and these people will be able to assist you, which means the debt collectors will stop harassing you, and a plan will be set out so that this money can be paid back.

I actually went to Anglicare myself when I was in all sorts of trouble financially and they too stopped these credit collectors who are hell bent on annoying you every single day, with phone calls, letters of demand and so on, and what these people do is to offer you a reduced amount to pay the account out, but this would seem to be not possible for you at this stage.

However you got to $15k is only your business, and doesn't need to be told, but perhaps you could sell what ever you have.

It's always very difficult to be able to relate to a counsellor in just a couple of visits, although some people can pick this up just by looking at the person, and fortunately I can do this, however I understand that you didn't feel comfortable in telling him/her what is causing this hardship.

How far away is your mum moving, because this will have an impact on you and then your depression.

Boy I really hate it when people do have depression, only because I've been through it, but when you are young and have it, it isn't a good start to your life, but with a little help you will get back onto your feet, and if you need help in contacting these sites then I will try and post them, but they may not pass the filter by the Moderators. Geoff.

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gibby3794 — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 10:16:59 GMT

hi guys thanks for all your support, I don't think I will move with mum as she is moving to a town of 13,000 and they don't have many tafe courses or jobs etc there, I cant really see myself being a chef, besides the pay theres nothing I like about it, i want to help people so that's why i want to do community services. but yeah as i said i do want to go with mum but at the same time i don't as i like the place im living now etc, and yeah im fine to stay where i am, ive only moved in about 3 months ago when mum said she was moving away,

im thinking i might go ack to the pizza plforumace whilst im doing my course as i used to work there and i actually loved that job, not so much for the job but i got on with all the people etc.

well not only do i not get any thanks i actually get abused because i cant be serving customers in the take away, getting stuff out of the cool room for the chef and making pizzas at the exact same time so he goes off at me, theres been a few times i was about 1 second from just walking out the door as i cannot handle it, mum knows i have debts but has no idea how much they are or how far behind i am in the payments and where i am in collections, nah she wants to move because she doesn't like it here anymore she wants to move back where our family is, i do know of fox symes and stuff but there fees are really high, i can set up the same thing myself but i need $120 upfront to put the paper work in which i do not have, the debts are various, two are for cars

(i no longer own the cars they were on personal loan) the credit cards were for repairs on my cars, xmas last year, a massive Centrelink debt (not my fault they read my tafe timetable wrong about two years ago and put me on the wrong payment) but all i own is my car which isn't even worth 1k, my cracked phone with no back cover, and my clothes, so nothing i can sell that i already haven't hahah. mum is moving about 400 kms away, she will be down about once a month and i can go up whenever i can afford it and have the time,

thanks again for your supportive comments, am feeling better today than i was yesterday, except the fact that i have work tomorrow makes me feel sick lol.....

and sorry Geoff I hope I haven't got you blocked for posting for a while or something I just reported your comment thinking I was replying to it, I don't think they will block you as I wrote this so they will hopefully know I have just stuffed up hahah

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Blue_ — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 10:46:38 GMT

Hi Gibby!

Its good to hear you're feeling better and have somewhere else you could possibly work. We're here whenever you need us and keep us up to date with how you're going.

Love Cas ❤️

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gibby3794 — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 06:01:48 GMT

hi guys another relatively bad day, went to see mum thismorning before work and when I left to go to work I just broke down and was still a mess by the time I got to work so hadto quickly try and get it together, ended up walking into work with red puffy eyes and neither of them asked how I was doing or anything, they just pretended like they didn't notice, it would have been really hard not to as my voice was still shaky and everything, makes me want to quit even more, like why should I work there when they cant even ask if im alright when I walk in crying, pretty pathetic if you ask me, at dominos when that happened they used to give us a drink and we could go out the back and have a smoke, if we wanted to talk to someone we could take them out with us no matter how busy it was, and they keep saying how they treat everyone like family, sorry but that's not how you treat your family, anyways ill leave it at that because unfortunately I have to go back to work now 😞

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AGrace — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 06:34:38 GMT

Hi Gibby,

Is there any chance you could go back to Domino's to work? It sounds like you felt supported there and it also sounds like you could do with some support right now.

Financial difficulties can be such a burden, ive been through a similar situation so I can relate to your experience. As difficult as it may sound I found it most helpful to contact banks, loan agents, debt collectors etc and be upfront about my situation. Dont take the first "no" as the final answer, always ask to speak with a supervisor or manager. Whilst you are sorting out another job work out how much money you can pay, even if it's $20 a month. Once I was able to put small arrangements into place I made sure I kept in contact with these people so it came across as though I was really trying to reverse my debts. This might be difficult to do on your own so if need be have a friend or your mum act on your behalf in the beginning.

From the sounds of it finances and work are only the surface issues. Its also important to look after your wellbeing. You mentioned that you tried counseling, my advice would be to try, try, and try again until you find someone you are comfortable talking with. Your GP might be a good place to start. Feeling the effects of depression or even being overwhelmed can make you feel as if you dont have choices in life, but with a little help and support you'll soon see that you do. Make sure whoever you see is happy to bulk bill so that you're not adding to financial worries.

It's wonderful that you have a career aspiration I hope you can draw on this for motivation to get the help you deserve.

Keep in touch, we're always here.

AGrace

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Blue_ — Sat, 21 Jun 2014 04:34:11 GMT

Hi Gibby,

It's terrible you feel this way and I think you need to stop putting yourself second and do what it takes to make you happy buddy! Go back to your old work if you can, take that great advice from Geoff and AGrace and get yourself sorted out. You are far too young to be going through this much stress. You should be happy and living life not miserable. I hope you feel better soon mate.

Love Cas ❤️

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gibby3794 — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 08:15:08 GMT

Hi all thanks for commenting 🙂 work sold on monday so anywhere between 3 weeks and 2 months we will be out so I am going to stay at work so I can get the government 20,000 loan which I dont have to pay back until I am earning 50k a year, I will only get the first payment of 8k which will nearly cover my bills than I can just pay off whatever is left over, my cert4 in community services doesnt start until next year so I am just going to work at dominos until then and try and get ahead a bit, mum left on monday but came down today for half hour to pick up our horse so was good to see her pop and my uncle, then I went and spent a bit to much money but it was all on stuff I needed so im glad to finally have all that done 🙂 and back to work tomorrow

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djninja — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 08:46:31 GMT

Hi Gibby,

I really feel for you and can attest to many of the traumas you are going through. One thing that many have told me is that while there is a huge room full of stuff we have to claw our way through, we have to pick it apart one item at a time.

I myself suffered from manic depression for many years. I still have my really 'off ' days where nothing seems to make sense, but with a little prayer and deep breathing exercises, I can slow down the overwhelming feelings.

I realise your workplace seems very daunting, but surely there must be an HR department that you can seek advice from. They are there to help resolve internal workplace issues. If the problems you are experiencing are not dealt with, then you can talk to Workplace Australia and have your issues discussed in a bigger arena.

I also feel your plight regarding your mum. At least she is on your side where it comes to support.

It's good to see that you have a handle on your finances. It's a slow process, but again, take each step at a time.

Good luck with everything.

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gibby3794 — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 12:44:26 GMT

There is no hr to contact as it is just the two owners me and the chef, but the buisness sold (all contracts signed) last night so just have to wait a few weeks and the new owners will have taken over so I will go back to dominos then and wait until my community services course starts in january 🙂

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AGrace — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 22:05:14 GMT

Hi gibby,

It sounds like things are set in motion now and its just a bit of a waiting game. I wonder if between now an January you can take some time to really focus on yourself and your wellbeing? Try to include some enjoyable, pampering activities in each week, get out for small walks, see if there are some ways you can start to rebuild some connections with people (even if by going to a local quiz night at the pub)?

Now that you know you will get the government loan are you feeling more confident with your financial state?

AGrace

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Blue_ — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 21:51:54 GMT

GIBBY!

That's fantastic news! You get to work back at the place you liked, you're getting some money to pay off loans AND you've got the plan set to start your course. This is all so great! You must be so excited! Just remember to look after yourself. Hang out with friends, relax, do things you enjoy and there's always a bit of extra help around if you find that the depression/anxiety is lingering. Keep in touch Gibby.

Love Cas ❤️

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gibby3794 — Sat, 28 Jun 2014 23:03:12 GMT

Hi all, just found out the loan I get is paid in monthly installments as lomg as im working, so no point getting that as I wont get it hahah, so am going to try to pay the debts down slowly, but not really all that worried about it as theres nothing the financers can do that they havent already done hahah, yeah now that I know the buisness has sold n wont be to long before im out im feeling a lot better, we are moving into a bigger house as soon as we can find one, there arent many 5 bedroom houses around for rent but hopefully one comes up soon enough hahah

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AGrace — Sat, 28 Jun 2014 23:18:27 GMT

I like your positive outlook on this setback gibby. A huge step forward. Perhaps we should rename your post "Not so lost anymore"?