topic Depression and sensitivity - a connection? in Depression

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

white knight — Sat, 13 Sep 2014 01:44:22 GMT

I'm asking you.

How many of you have depression but it isnt triggered by your sensitivity? Or is triggered by sensitivity.?

My depressive cycle has gone from 10 straight days (approx) every 8 weeks to a few hours now and then say every 3 weeks. Improvement has come from correct diagnosis and medication.

However regardless of this change my sensitivity has been the common ground all my life. There has always been a trigger. What is the trigger in my case? Hurtful comments. These can come in the form of eg - people saying accusing me of one or more of the following- being childish, thick minded (not getting what other perceive as obvious), being a little manic, saying the inappropriate thing, acting withdrawn, etc

At all times I've discovered through self observation, my trigger has involved another person or persons comments. And obviously 'they' cant all be wrong. My sensitivity is what has plummeted me into depression and it's so hard to overcome or rather its so uncomfortable.

So I was thinking, I can take an empty pill bottle and mark on it "anti-sensitivity pills" and put on a mask. Every time there is a gathering and I am hurt by comments I'll blurt out a fake laugh. When other realise I am not being sensitive ie that when their cutting comment doesnt hit home like they often do....I'll reach into my pocket and pull out that bottle and show them why they didnt succeed.

Such is my anger or contempt. for others that hurt me. I havent tried this but I think I will. I'm fed up. The alternative is hibernation and that hasnt worked only to a degree so I have semi withdrawn from people. Hiding away should not be the answer.

How many others have this sensitivity that is so fragile it takes you immediately into the dark place? And do you have a strategy in dealing with it.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

Girl_Anachronism — Sat, 13 Sep 2014 11:59:40 GMT

An interesting topic as always.

I have been called sensitive by a couple in my life- uni course co-ordinators most notably when questioning the acts of a lecturer. Was it the polite way of saying over reactive? Was it founded in truth? Was it the bureaucratic lies to save a colleague?

I don't know. With my recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, certain aspects of my life make sense though. No I can't regulate my emotions. Maybe that does make sensitive sometimes. I don't know if I can fix it either.

I, too, get depression spirals fromwhat others say, regardless of their true intentions. A simple phrase here or there can hurt so much. Even knowing that we shouldn't be feeling this strongly over what seems so little. But even knowing something is ridiculous, while we are experiencing it, makes the emotions no less potent.

I can also attest that such misunderstanding, even when clarified with the person in question, can negatively affect relationships. I have lost friends, and closer relationships. But is it our fault? Should we even worry about blame, or just try to stabilise our moods?

I wish I had more answers and less questions but I can only offer what I can.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

white knight — Sat, 13 Sep 2014 12:52:38 GMT

Hi GA,

Thankyou for you have brought about more questions and that is good.

"But is it our fault"? well I see that it cant be their fault because "they" are in the majority- a big majority...the so called "normal" ones. Then you asked if we should indeed worry about 'fault' or just concentrate on stabilising our mood. another top question.

"Regulate emotions" I'm with you. I have little control. My mood has stabilised with mood stabilisers and my depression has lessened through anti depressants but if my emotions decide to act up and react to comments from others then it will.....I wish I had the answer to that.

The thing is I believe that emotional control from those that dont have it could be a major healer with mental health as we know it.

So anyone out there know of some effective control techniques with emotions?

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

geoff — Sat, 13 Sep 2014 20:31:03 GMT

dear WK, I have left your comment to reply to because I was hoping that you would have had more replies, but anyway it's another excellent post and certainly sensitivity has always been a provocation for me to be offended, and if you are at breaking point of becoming depressed it's enough to tilt your mood in becoming so.

What does annoy me is that these people can utter these sarcastic remarks and have no conscious, because normally we don't retaliate, but if by any chance it happens with them then an argument starts and the friendship, if there is one, all of a sudden stops, so for them it only works one way.

What I have learnt after overcoming my depression ( which I will comment on ) is that now I have a 'hard skin', so what happens is that I may initially get upset, but it doesn't make me head back to being depressed.

When I say 'overcome depression' it doesn't mean that it has totally gone, because once we're had it, it's still with us all the time, and that's why we have 'relapses'

I don't believe that it can be wiped out as we are always prone for it to return, and by 'overcoming it' only means that we are much stronger to fight it off.

We can pretend to regulate our emotions and when this happens the person firing the nasty comments will just come back with more stronger criticism, hoping that we will break down. Geoff.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

white knight — Sun, 14 Sep 2014 01:59:52 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Yes, in other words- the best form of defense is attack. Because if we continue to allow us to be seen as a sponge of nasty people and their comments then they will continue to try to hurt us. I dont want to be a sponge.

So out will come Anthony. I'm planning this. I wrote a manuscript of my life 7 years ago and want it published in the future when I've finished editing it for the 5th time.

There are 3 characters. 1/ Tony- the sensitive poet, kind hearted creative and loyal one 2/ Anthony- the prison officer, the dog ranger, the uniformed one 3/ Tony Russell- essentially tony under medication, controlled, stable and no longer on the edge. The first two characters argue and despise each other. This was me in the late 1970's.

So as I'm not a premeditated person eg I dont plan confrontations, I'm going to have to get Anthony out of mothballs and use him to protect myself. Every time a visitor arrives or I meet a neighbour in town I'm going to imagine Anthony standing in front of me.

My own security guard.

Sad isnt it. To run your life this way. Sad that people have to be nasty to run their day to day lives. I bet they do it automatically. I bet they dont inser tin their diaries each night "upset 3 people today....one less than my quota....better mke up for it tomorrow". I think it is just the way they are everyday to the extent that they do not think of being simply nice- all the time without hurting others.

I look back on my working life in security in the 1990's. So many work colleagues that were like verbal snipers. After years at that workplace not one of about 100 became a friend I visit now.

No wonder the bush seems so attractive at times.

This all sounds a bit negative on my behalf. I dont want it to be. But in order to protect oneself from these aggressors one has to identify the problem before one can arm themselves with the right shield.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

moviesul — Sun, 14 Sep 2014 02:30:15 GMT

Hi,

I think I'm overly sensitive and that leads to depressive episodes. As soon as a teacher says that I could've done better or my parents think that I should do more to involve myself in the family, I feel like giving up because it isn't enough. But you eventually get pass it. I think you need to create a wall or like you said, a mask.

But what you suggested about the bottle and such seems like a good idea for you. I hope that you can overcome this.

Chen.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

white knight — Sun, 14 Sep 2014 07:47:22 GMT

Hi Chen,

Thanks for your thoughts. I was just on Facebook a media I should give away. I'd posted a poster abut Chronic illness, that many have that makes their life harder.

One "friend" posted that "there is more to life than illness".

I feel strongly that she is telling me that I complain too much or talk too much about mental health. She then posted that her uncle was a great example to her in that he had chronic illness but he never complained even on his death bed".

See how this could be levelled at me?

But it need clarification so I'll try and get it. This 'friend ' I only met once but is a member of a group I'm in so I dont want to make waves.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

Jo3 — Sun, 14 Sep 2014 07:57:08 GMT

Hi WK

I am very sensitive and always take things personally. And then I stew over whatever happened and it goes over and over in my head.

What your friend said on facebook - I think that this friend is having a dig at you. I would take that personally as if she is having a dig at me But this is me and how I see it, others could be different.

I struggle a lot to give my opinion to others because of how sensitive I am and then I get so depressed that I have caused something wrong.

For me facebook wouldn't be a thing I could start because I know that if I did I wouldn't be able to stop. So I better not start!!

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

moviesul — Sun, 14 Sep 2014 08:39:02 GMT

Well I'm sorry to hear that your friend commented that. They don't know exactly how you're feeling so they shouldn't be quick to say anything.

I see, do you think you'll confront her? Or leave it be so that there aren't any problems in the group?

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

white knight — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 16:32:46 GMT

Hi Chen,

I didnt confront her. I think it best to move on sometimes.

What I did do was "unfollow" her. So I dont get her posts. I am withdrawing from Facebook. It seems there is no way one can avoid conflict.

Life is better gardening or walking our dog and letting sleeping dogs lie...

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

CMF — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 17:20:24 GMT

Good topic. Are we sensitive or are we just human, we have feelings? I used to be a tough cookie I thought. I didn't think I was sensitive but I'm extremely sensitive now. The more depressed I am the more sensitive I become.

My depression at the moment mainly comes from things that certain people have said to me, how they've judged me but in the past I've been depressed over being bullied at work. Sensitive or not, no one should be bullied in the workplace. Even the toughest person could become depressed if they felt threatened like this. At the moment I'm depressed over my sons school. It's a private school, all boys. It seems no matter what he does he gets in trouble by the coordinator and has been branded a trouble maker but when kids do things to him she defends them. I feel sick at the thought of him having to go there everyday, hating it and I've expressed my concerns quite clearly. I feel depressed for him.

My dad was a tough man, since mum died he has crumbled, lonely, looking after himself.

I do think there is a connection, but I think life is cruel and unfair also and we all have a breaking point. Even the toughest people can be struck down with depression, things take their toll. Is this what makes us sensitive? When our armour is slowly worn away? Or were we already a sensitive person in the first place underneath the armour?

thanks for listening.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

white knight — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 05:31:07 GMT

Hi CMF,

"the more depressed I get the more sensitive I become"

Depression in parallel to sensitivity? Never thought of it that way. mmm at times the obvious escapes me.

Bullies attack sensitive people as soon as they see their prey. They recognise prey when the sensitive person cant hold back their hurt feelings. The topic is only now becoming one of community conversation. Thank heavens for that. I detest bullies especially brave (not) cyber ones. And my high level of sensitivity has been like bees to honey for bullies. You'd think that a ex prison officer of 125 kgms, ex weight lifter, ex security etc (my other side) would be able to handle this stuff at 58yo. But the real bullying started with on line forums 5 years ago when some tough guy that didnt like my opinions sent me a private message "go get some more medication nutter",

A committee member of that club spoke to him and concluded "its all a storm in a tea cup". Only then I realised that the world can be a cruel place and words are just that- words. But I still was sensitive to such words - even now.

As for that club. I'm branded a trouble maker because of my sensitivity. In their eyes I'm not capable of having fun only, take things to heart and respond wanting answers. And as it is all run on Facebook I have to either accept it or not. Well better not. I've trimmed my FB input. It doesnt mean the bully won. He'll be found out eventually. What goes around.....

Sensitivity sucks. But then again my 250 poems largely based on emotion is the plus side and they are priceless.

Thanks also for listening. It's been a good chat

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

MisterM — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 04:25:14 GMT

Hi White Knight,

Yeah other peoples comments and actions are the main triggers for my depressive and anxious cycles.
I wish I had thicker skin.
Having recently been bullied at a place I used to work has sapped me of all my motivation to get amongst people in a workforce, I have withdrawn from life.
Every workplace I have worked at I have copped nasty hurtful smart alec remarks and been treated like crap and I cannot work out why I am an easy target. I just want to stay at home but money will dry up. And it upsets me having family always on my back to look for work I just want to scream.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

Chicken_Wings — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 04:39:45 GMT

I think my depression is triggered by sensitivity. But it's not other people saying things to me, it's me assuming I know what they are thinking about me and that what they are thinking is bad. Even if they are perfectly nice to my face.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

MisterM — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 04:50:54 GMT

Hi Chicken Wings,

Yeah I often mind read people and come up with beliefs that they are thinking negative things about me.

On the topic of sensitivity, I was already feeling down today and my mum just told me that she is ashamed of me as I am unemployed and doesn't want any relatives knowing. Ouch.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

Chicken_Wings — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 05:08:33 GMT

My partners mother does the same MisterM.
I find that strange because I can't imagine my own mother ever saying something to knowingly hurt me, but I guess every family is different.

I feel like it must be hard being unemployed because you don't have as many tasks placed upon you that you are required to complete, thus keeping your mind occupied.

Being unemployed is not something to be ashamed about though, especially if you are still making an effort to be a productive person. Whether that be looking for work, doing things around the house, making and creating things, working on your health, or anything other than just doing literally nothing. My partner is unemployed but he studies most of the day, or does jobs around the house. He refuses to go on centrelink and takes small jobs to keep a bit of extra money coming in.

I think he has an incredible work ethic, but he is such a perfectionist that he doesn't believe he is good enough yet for the kind of job he wants to do. Hence the studying. But his mother always asks me "so you put up with him ok?" like I've taken on some kind of burden.
I guess some people are just born missing a sensitivity chip.

I've taken a few days off work, but I'm already feeling sensitive about going back. I've told myself tomorrow is the day. In my mind I'm already imagining what people will think when they see me.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

MisterM — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 06:20:08 GMT

Hi Chicken Wings,

My mum is a very abusive, hurtful, toxic person who has inflicted too much mental damage on me.
I try keep busy with song writing. But some days I can't be bothered doing anything other than sitting on the PC.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

white knight — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 11:57:23 GMT

Hi all,

I am constantly developing my strategies. Sadly, I now go on the attack!

This new strategy is a result of "stewing" over being bullied or harassed for days, weeks, months on end all the while, in these cases I concluded having don't nothing at all to spark the aggression at me. When I had some responsibility- that's different and I do apologise and take responsibility...a dying art nowadays.

Responding with equal aggression has benefits. It could lead to an apology from the "surprised" aggressor. It could lead to no further contact which is welcomed. Or it could lead to further intimidation but you can then walk away having said you peace....giving you some comfort.

None of the above refer to a "thinker skin" because we are talking about a response of equal proportion. It isn't easy to develop this. But as an example....Mister M...when your mother tells you that she is "ashamed" as you are unemployed, perhaps an answer like "yes mum, I can understand your feeling as I'm just as ashamed of you not being proud of me".

My mother, whom I haven't seen for 5 years and likely never will again, would always point out my faults. That was her worse fault!!

Tony WK

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

MisterM — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 10:01:11 GMT

Hi Tony,

I stood up to a bully this year, he kept making fun of me and any mistake I made.
I kept putting up with it as I only started at the real estate office until one time at a team meeting in the meeting room where he called me stupid in front of everyone due to a simple mistake which I am sure was not my fault. After the meeting I was so angry I could not talk, he stood behind me and as I was not responding to him he asked what the matter was. I turned from the computer and said in a stern way "do not call me stupid'' and I got up and walked out of the office. He yelled back in an aggressive manner to me as I walked off calling me a sook. I took two days off, went to the GP and got stress leave. When I returned to the office after two days off I was fired for not "gelling with the team" and appearing like I wanted to be there. I feel so angry to this day that this bully got away with it. It has left me depressed and I cannot face another workplace. For me to even get this job was a big step for me as I was out of work for almost 1 year due to a physical injury and mental illness being bad. And one month later I was unemployed again.

Depression and sensitivity - a connection?

Bluey_moon — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 11:15:23 GMT

I definatley think both anxiety and depression and even OCD are linked to sensitivity and to gentle souls who take on too much worry for everyone.