topic 10 Things I Hate About Depression in Depression

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Sparkles183 — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 11:08:36 GMT

1) I hate the way I am crying inside and I do not know when I will stop.

2) I hate the person who I have become and I am not the person I used to be.

3) I hate that I feel I no longer have purpose in life and my goals is no longer the same.

4) I hate the fact no matter what treatment I try everything seems to get worse.

5) I hate it when the people around me rejects and abandons me when I need them most.

6) I hate that I have been bullied by professional’s the people who I supposed to trust most.

7) I hate the last 6 months of my life it has relay been hell

😎 I hate the fact that I am haunted by the images and thoughts of self-harm and suicide on a regular bases although I can control the urges and know I never do it.

9) I hate that I am alone in this fight and no one is with me.

10) But most of all I hate the fact that I cannot longer fight this on my own and I need all the help I can get.....

10 Things I Hate About Depression

AGrace — Fri, 24 Oct 2014 18:14:44 GMT

Hi Sparkes183,

I think you've come up with a pretty good list here, and all of us would probably agree with all of your points. I do wonder though what would happen if you changed the beginning if each sentence from I hate to I can accept?

AGrace

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Mel__F — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 06:20:44 GMT

Wow reading these posts for the 1st time I see I'm not alone, my silent thought arnt so silent, I hope there is peace for all of us

10 Things I Hate About Depression

white knight — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 06:42:12 GMT

Hi Sparkles

Amber had a good point there.

In life there are balances. Most things need that balance....just like your bank account needs to be at least 51% of saving and 49% or less of spending or you are in trouble.

If you have all these issues with depression there has to be, at some point, some rebound, some defence or some counter measures or we go further down and further still.

This is why the thread on this forum are filled with positive ideas and comments. Ways to take baby steps towards your ultimate goal what ever that might be. One MUST fight all the bad urges one feels, press on, force yourself to do pleasant things during the day.

We all know it isnt easy. If it was easy Beyond Blue would simply print a flyer and not have a forum.

With the mix of medication, determination, positivity, therapy, forums, accepting most people dont "get it" and surrounding yourself with caring people....you can rebound.

Then, as Amber suggested, you will write your post differently.

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Sparkles183 — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 13:00:42 GMT

Hi Mel

Welcome to Beyond Blue.

I just want to let you know that you that you are not alone. And if you ever need someone to vent too I am here.

people on this forum keep telling me there is light at the end of the tunnel it is something I am yet to see. but I believe there is hope for us all..

Sparkles

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Sparkles183 — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 13:14:00 GMT

Hi AGrace and White Knight

Maybe you are right I do need to learn to accept it. But how can I accept it if sometimes I still feel I walk in denial?

I have been thinking lately maybe I am trying to fight too hard and that is why I am getting so exhausted and frustrated

this has not been an easy ride for me and the only support network I have is my GP and this forum, my best friend knows I have been treated for anxiety but apart from that I have kept everything well hidden.

The people on this forum has been amazing and been helping me a lot and I relay do appreciate the support I have got on here.

These things may take a while for me to accept, but the 2 things I will never accept is that I have been haunted with the thoughts and images of self-harm and suicide almost every day and some times more. Although they are only thoughts and I know nothing will happen I hate them.

And I will never aspect that I feel I no longer have purpose in life. But now I feel comfortable talking about them and I might have to talk to my new psychologist about them when I see her for the first time next month.

I have been trying to think positive and taking myself on regular outings and trying my 2nd medication. I think the biggest thing I need to accept is it takes time…Thank you so much for your support

Sparkles

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10 Things I Hate About Depression

white knight — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 13:16:24 GMT

Living proof!!

That is the evidence of the light at the end of the tunnel.

12 medications, numerous therapy sessions, move to the country, partial withdrawal from clubs and people as a whole.

I'm reasonably comfortable now. Life is good with only the odd hiccup. My illnesses- bipolar 2, dysthymia, depression and anxiety.

Tony

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Sparkles183 — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 13:36:52 GMT

WOW that is Awesome Tony

I just finished writing a reply to you from your post earlier today but I think it is going through the system and may take a while to appear. thank you sharing your story about the evidence of the light at the end of the tunnel it is really encouraging

Sparkles

10 Things I Hate About Depression

geoff — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 14:27:06 GMT

dear Sparkles, yes there is ' evidence of the light at the end of the tunnel', after I was diagnosed with depression back in '95, but had it for much longer.

Of course people who have depression can never believe that there is a way out or that there is that light, and that's understandable, I was no different, my psychologist kept on telling me that I will be able to overcome, I never ever believed her, I trusted her and really liked her and had seen her for 20 odd years, and she was right, just out of nowhere, maybe for a reason or maybe not, the world was lifted off my shoulders, and I could see again.

Remember my feet were concreted in that dark hole for such a long time, and I would know the same was for Tony and all the others, but it was like magic I broke free, and it will happen for you, at what stage we don't know, but one day you will wake up and feel free from this disease, it just happens. Geoff.

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Mel__F — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 04:56:54 GMT

Xxxxxxx thank sparkles will be watching, still like you very unsure

10 Things I Hate About Depression

pdent — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 06:00:18 GMT

yes Mel your sure not on your own

I feel guilty that I didn't know what people were going through till it was me

I simply can not understand why I can't change my thoughts

So many good things get clouded by negative thoughts that's wrecking my whole self

yet I have only been doing this for a month seems like years

I am amazed that there are people strong enough to battle for years

I keep doing research to find a cure as I can't accept this is me

Best result so far is statisically most people eventually get better 'seems unbeleavable when your in such a dark place

Pete

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Sparkles183 — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 11:01:57 GMT

Hi Geoff

Thank you for your support and your Reply.

It is always encouraging hearing peoples recovery of depression and I thank you for sharing your long journey of recovery it gives me hope that one day I can walk that place of freedom.

I was listening to a podcast last month and the guy that was speaking said one of the problems with my Generation is we live in the microwave generation, just like a microwave dinner we expect everything to happen in an instant and we are not willing to wait. He said that if we don’t get a reply from an email within a day we complain if we spend longer than 5 seconds waiting for a page to load on the internet, we think that that is too slow and with our generation we can book a ticket on the internet and be in a strange country the very next day. And many years ago that journey would of taken months

And I think it is true my generation has forgotten what it is like to wait.

And I think that has been the biggest hurdle I have had to get over in this journey in depression. I do need to accept it takes time for recovery from depression. And the recovery of depression may not happen overnight which is what expected and I may not find the right medication or treatment straight away which I have found evidence of. But with the right combination of treatment and a lot of determination it will happen.

I just need to learn that it takes time

thank you so much for your support.

Sparkles

10 Things I Hate About Depression

white knight — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 11:02:22 GMT

Hi Pete,

Think of mental illness as an omelette. Leave out one ingredient and it is no longer an omelette. (I left out the cheese this morning lol)

So leave out any one of the following in my opinion and you are pushing uphill to overcome the challenges that face you- regular GP visits, therapy, proper diagnosis, proper meds, correct dosage, peaceful non conflict environment and family stability. Finally, acceptance of your condition in that you have to manage it not conquer it.

Then, happiness is possible as you've given it your best chance.

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Sparkles183 — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 11:13:39 GMT

Hi Mel

Someone once told me what you are feeling is real to you despite what others may think.

I do hope things get better for you and you seek the right help you need. I also encourage you to keep posting on this forum the amazing community here has helped me a lot and I hope they can help you too.

Please take Care and stay in touch

Sparkles

10 Things I Hate About Depression

pdent — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 11:21:52 GMT

Thanks for your insight white knight

I am taking in everything you say

And your probably right about acceptance ...like insomnia sometimes the more you fight to sleep the worse it becomes

I hope things keep working out for you

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Sparkles183 — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 12:32:51 GMT

Hi Pete

I just want to reassure you that you are not alone either.

There are many people on this forum that is going through the same journey of Depression, but keep strong I believe that there is hope for us all to see light at the end of the Tunnel.

Hearing story’s like from Tony and Geoff is evidence that we will recover from this. I too keep researching for cure or other treatments.

I understand that when you have depression the time when you are suffering from that dreadful thing may seem like a long time and can be very frustrating. I encourage you to keep seeking the help you need.

You seem like a strong person even coming on these forums shows evidence of that.

Stay strong and take care

Sparkles

10 Things I Hate About Depression

geoff — Sun, 26 Oct 2014 13:09:40 GMT

dear Sparkles, thanks.

One thing we have to remember is that if plan A works for me or someone else doesn't necessarily mean that it will for you, but then plan G will be the solvent for you. Geoff.

10 Things I Hate About Depression

Mel__F — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 04:26:46 GMT

Hi all I'm so surprised how you guys brighten up my day just reading and really listening to you all, your stories, wish it knew you all personally, today life looks good, you are all wonderful caring people, may good possative things come your way

10 Things I Hate About Depression

pdent — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 06:05:23 GMT

Yes the positive vibe coming from everyone is great,people learning to accept and survive their situation' inspiring'

This community is amazing ,i get distracted when I'm on here and i get definite relief from myself and my thoughts

And any distraction feels good

Tonight i will cook fresh baked snapper and asparagus for my son who is studying

He needs brain food and I need my brain to give me a break

All we can do is Keep doing the best we can even if that's just lying down trying to relax

Thanks for the distraction

pete

10 Things I Hate About Depression

pdent — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 06:34:41 GMT

Thanks for your positive reply sparkles

I hope you get to discover what gives you some peace what ever that maybe

Pete