topic Clueless in Depression

Clueless

MikaelaB — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 11:44:34 GMT

Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts everyday?

Clueless

Jo3 — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 23:48:02 GMT

Hi Mikaela

its not normal to have suicidal thoughts daily. Without knowing much about you I would say you may be suffering depression. I would make an appt to see your GP and talk to him/her about this. They may refer you to a psych for treatment.

I know what it's like to have suicidal thoughts; they're not nice. But you need to talk to someone and get help.

Let us know how you go. All the best

Clueless

MikaelaB — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 03:22:29 GMT

Thankyou for that Jo3 but I honestly don't think I need help.

Clueless

Jo3 — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 06:13:25 GMT

Hi Mikaela

Thanks for replying back, but I don't understand your comment - I honestly don't think I need help -

Has something happened for you to have suicidal thoughts daily? I just feel that something must be triggering you to have these thoughts.

I don't understand how you feel that you don't need help if they're thinking of suicide.

Clueless

vip — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 06:18:00 GMT

Mikaela you seem to be like a attractive smart young woman. Suicidal thoughts are not normal daily. I committed suicide 3 yrs ago and survived it and i honestly can tell you i ignored my thoughts and kept everything to myself and ended up in a disastrous position and feelings and thoughts about what happened remain with me for the rest of my life my sons life my husbands life. As Jo said please speak to your Gp about it you sound to me as you are suffering with depression and need help my first diagnosis with depression was at 17 so dont feel ashamed all scared about it please get the professional help asap dont put your safety in harms way. take care.

Clueless

geoff — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 14:59:16 GMT

dear MikaelaB, just wondering whether you have done the depression test, this will indicate where you stand. L Geoff. x

Clueless

MikaelaB — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 03:54:33 GMT

I have wanted to end my life so bad and tried a few times but I'm so afraid of death and embarrassed what my family will think. I'm gutless... My uncle committed suicide 3 years ago on the 21st, and it has made me aware of what it leaves everyone behind with. So much anger and hurt. I don't think its a selfish act because living with depression isn't nice, no one deserves to suffer. I have taken the test Geoff and yes it says I have depression but its hard to self diagnose someone. I don't want to get help from anyone cause its embarrassing, and these thoughts, feelings and emotions should go away on there own right?

Clueless

MikaelaB — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 03:58:49 GMT

Nothings happened for it to trigger theses thoughts Jo, my life is honestly perfect. I have a loving family, friends best friend and boyfriend I should be happy. I have everything in my life that I need. I just don't feel happy anymore.

Clueless

vip — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:01:21 GMT

Hi Mikaela honestly those thoughts your having they are not going to go away on their own guarantee you that 100%. If you dont get the help from a gp or a psych or get on some medication the depression will get worse. Honestly at 17 i had really nothing to be depressed about my life was ok but it just came on so fast and really ive lived with it ever since and im 39 now. I wouldnt never have imagined myself doing what i did im even scared of my own shadow but 3yrs ago i did do it and i shocked my self and everyone around me so please dont feel scared ashamed honestly depression is so common gps see people with it every day . Read some of the other posts on these forums there are heaps of young adults your age with it and older people ect it just affects everyone nothing to be ashamed about really its a disease like diabetes high blood pressure it needs to be treated look it like that. Really hope you act on it to get some help . Please look after yourself your 100% worth it dont forget that. x

Clueless

geoff — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 14:50:39 GMT

dear MikaelaB, doctors see patients all the time who have depression, it's a very common illness, and what Nes has said I agree with.

Do you have a female doctor, but either way book yourself an appointment and the doctor will ask you 'what can I do for you today', then all you have to say is L don't feel well', then the conversation will develop.

Honestly no one can overcome depression by themselves, especially if you don't take any medication.

Having said this please don't go away from this site, because you aren't well, so we still want to hear back from you. L Geoff. x

Clueless

MikaelaB — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 01:05:56 GMT

Thankyou guys. Yeah I have a female doctor, I recently visited her and will be visiting her again after my HSC finishes but I personally think it would be embarrassing saying that too her & mum goes with me so I would hate to put pressure on her thinking that she has made me this way. Mum is aware what's happening with me I think because my sister told me that mum went into my work and asked if she had done anything to me and broke down in tears, but I just don't think its right to get help as it would effect her.

Clueless

vip — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 09:36:46 GMT

Mikaela please please dont think that by not getting any help you are protecting the way your mum would feel about this. My mum was devastated with what happened to me and told me over and over why i never discussed how i was feeling with her . I too am a parent to my 7yr old son and honestly i want to know everything about how my son feels ect we are mums thats our jobs to listen to our kids when they are feeling down scared alone by not telling us you are actually hurting us its very secretive and hurtful take mum along with you to the gp and let her in on really what is going on with you. why dont you even get a package from beyond blue for mum to read up on depression so she gets a better idea. Work this out Mikaela you are young beautiful and intelligent you have a big future ahead of you and you can do anything with your life dont waste it make your mum and actually yourself proud and get on top of this. take care

Clueless

Jo3 — Sun, 27 Oct 2013 03:27:36 GMT

Hi Mikaela

I totally agree with Nes, please see your GP. I'm sure that your mum will be very supportive.

Take care and let us know how you go

Clueless

MikaelaB — Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:19:35 GMT

Thankyou Nes & Jo3 for your support, I think I might have to talk with mum because its not getting any better. You have really helped, I honestly cant thankyou you enough, if i end up talking to my mother, what do I say... I have no idea, I don't want to upset her because that breaks my heart.
THANKYOU

Clueless

geoff — Sun, 27 Oct 2013 18:21:42 GMT

dear MikaelaB, thank you so much for replying back to us.

You have your mum who seems very concerned for you, and we have to remember that today is far different than when your mum grew up.

I remember when my grandma used to say to me that she would hate to be bringing children up these days, and that was 45 years ago or there about, and even now the elderly people in their 80's say exactly the same, and it follows on, as I will be saying it in 25 years time, if I make it.

My Dad was a GP up until he was 90 and his mind was like a young man, but he never believed that I had depression back in the 90's, and for some reason questioned it, but my brother 2 years older told him to organise me to see a psychiatrist, and this is when the ball started to begin.

You see back their days depression wasn't really recognised, as they were told to get on with life after a kick up the bum, so it's a new territory for them, but it's something very important for them to understand how the world has changed and also to know exactly what is happening to you now, this is the real box n dice.

Depression is a real concern world wide, it doesn't matter how much money you have, colour or race or sociology of the position you are in, it will strike when ever it wants, and without any indication and what Nes has said about getting the information from BB on depression would be a terrific idea for your mum to read.

When I say this please believe me as I know it's so true, that your doctor will not be shocked one bit when you tell her 'that your not feeling well', they are there to help you.

Your mum will know that you are not happy or lost your brightness so she may asked questions, but you have to explain to her that you can only take a short period of time with her asking questions, because this is what depression does to us, we can't be hammered with question after question, we need TIME OUT. L Geoff. x

Clueless

geoff — Sun, 27 Oct 2013 18:26:39 GMT

dear MikaelaB, sorry I forgot to say to you does your mum know of any tendencies or thoughts of suicide, as this is a delicate topic to discuss with her.

I will reply once you can let me know. L Geoff. x

Clueless

Dennis38 — Sun, 27 Oct 2013 19:42:35 GMT

Hello Mikaela,

Well have read not only your post but everyone elses' post and I have to agree 100 percent with what they have said. Sugar you need to talk to your GP and get some help. First there is no shame or need to feel embarrassed about your own feelings. And no these feelings will not just vanish one day not with out working though them. I use to think like you did, my mind, my problem, I can handle this myself. Well my mind, my body, kicked the ever living crap out of me, I lost control of myself and nearly killed myself. First time I have ever been truly scared of myself. That was when I understood..finally... that some times we all need a little help.

There is no shame in asking for help, the real shame is not asking for help knowing that you are in trouble. It does not matter if your life is "perfect"...which by the way there is no such thing as perfect...we all get hit by depression it can sneak up and bite you in the ass when you are least expecting it. So talk to your GP and your mum and ask for the help you need!

Best Wishes

Clueless

vip — Sun, 27 Oct 2013 22:58:05 GMT

Hi Mikaela im so glad and relieved you will speak to mum. Just sit down with mum over coffee and tell her exactly how you are feeling the total truth and then say mum would you come with me to the gp as i havnt felt myself for a long time i might need some medication or maybe speaking to a psych to see whats causing this. Honestly i can see your mum being appreciative that you told her nobody wants to see their children suffer . Take care and let us know how this conversation goes. So happy to help you also so keep writing on this forum. xx

Clueless

MikaelaB — Mon, 28 Oct 2013 01:01:32 GMT

yeah I think mum is aware, I use to say I wish I could just die, little things like that. I try not to anymore because one day she said to me I think your suffering with depression, I don't want her to think that. She told some of my family too that I want to die and went to my work to talk to my boss to see if she(mum) had made this way and broke down in tears, I feel awful..

Clueless

MikaelaB — Mon, 28 Oct 2013 01:03:59 GMT

thankyou Dennis38.

Hopefully I build up the courage soon enough to tell mum, because I cant keep living like this. Its no way to live, thankyou so much for your support Nes.