topic It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort in Depression

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

MrsCam — Sat, 07 Jun 2014 10:36:15 GMT

hubby & I are supposed to be going out socially this evening but I just dont feel like it... I manage to put on a happy face at work through the week but tonite it just feels like too much effort... I think hubby might b annoyed with me... I have not tried to stop him from going at all, in fact I have encouraged him to go which im pretty sure he will but I still feel like Im letting him down... I did no study or housework today even though I was supposed to do both... I know it appears to him that I am just being lazy but at the moment it is all just too much effort... I only got dressed today cos I wanted junk food so I needed to go to the shop, otherwise I wouldve stayed in my pjs all day... even now i am in my bed with my laptop even tho it is only 6:30pm... I know I probably should make the effort.....

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

geoff — Sat, 07 Jun 2014 16:44:06 GMT

dear Mrs Cam, it's no good you feeling like this but I can totally relate to how you feel, and even now I still have dreams of a lot of what happened to me, and even those which I have pushed away and never solved, or as I say boxed them up and sent adrift out to the the Bermuda Triangle.

There becomes a time when are tired of putting on our mask and not go to the social occasions that we are expected to go to, it's hard enough for you doing it at work, and by being forced will only make it a long long night.

It's easy to say that you are letting him done, but if you look at it the other way he too is not being fair to you, so it goes both ways, but it's much more difficult to force you than it is to let you stay at home.

He will think of an excuse, but what I hope doesn't happen is for him to come home drunk and verbally insult you especially if he is annoyed with you.

You need to look after yourself and take care. L Geoff. x

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

Neil_1 — Sat, 07 Jun 2014 22:42:40 GMT

Dear Mrs C

You know in such a short while on this site, you've come here with a number of awesome, uplifting and helpful posts/responses to other people. You've come here and fitted in so beautifully and it's been awesome to read your thoughts/posts to others.

But right at this time you're feeling just as you described and you know what - that's absolutely 100% ok. What's more let me say, that "Hells bells, it IS winter". Why not stay in jarmies all day. And to hell with changing to go to the shops - if anyone says anything, just tell 'em you're on your way to a fancy dress party!

Have we spoken at all about - hang on, yes we have, haven't we - regarding hubby with your illness? In that, isn't he going to go along to your next video session? So in that, he does know how you're battling doesn't he?

And as you say, you're more than happy for him to go - so as this is the day after, I hope that you stayed home and I hope that he went and I hope above all else, that for your Sunday, you feel a 'little' better than your Saturday?

The housework will ALWAYS be there - it won't go anywhere - so just try to tackle it a bit later.

Kind regards

Neil

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

MrsCam — Sat, 07 Jun 2014 23:19:37 GMT

thanks Neil.

I am feeling a bit better today. hubby ended up staying home as well tho he assures me it was just that he was tired after a full day at work and he was not upset with me...

thankyou for your kind words re my responses to others on this site. I try to be supportive and offer advice or an alternative view point where I can, especially if I read a post that I feel I can relate to... I mean thats the whole pont of online forums isnt it... hope you too are having a pleasant sunday :0

ps yes unfortunately the housework is still all there to be done!!

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

MrsCam — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 06:45:37 GMT

weird I didnt see your post earlier Geoff...

thanks for the reply... I should clarify hubby doesnt say i am letting him down, its just how I think... he never tries to convince e to go out socially if I say I dont feel like it... I am very lucky that he is so patient with me... a lot of guys wouldve had enough of me by now...

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

Neil_1 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 10:53:38 GMT

Hey there Mrs C

Yes, the timing of posts can be a bit odd sometimes - and they'll just come in at odd intervals - I'm pretty sure it depends on how the post is written. If there's some "iffy" kind of word in it, it needs to be checked over which will take a little while longer.

But overall, it's a damn awesome site.

Speaking of damn awesome - that husband of yours does sound like a really good bloke - he sounds very understanding of your situation, which you know, isn't exactly a common occurance. My partner too, is pretty good on this side of things, so I'm very lucky with this side of things.

Sunday wasn't too bad - a lot of things done around the home - did you manage to get any of the dreaded housework done? Even just a smidge of it?

So looking through your original post on this thread, would you say that you're feeling better now than 24 hours ago?

Neil

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

MrsCam — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 12:53:18 GMT

I washed some clothes and did the dishes... does that count??? lol

feeling much better this evening... we were invited to our next door neighbours house this arvo, we just moved to this house a couple of months ago so we dont really know them that well but hubby convinced me to go for a bit and Im glad I did. had a lovely couple of hours, they seem like really nice people

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

Neil_1 — Sun, 08 Jun 2014 23:14:19 GMT

Hi Mrs C

Damn excellent to read 🙂 🙂

You ask does that count? That counts on TWO points. So well done. 🙂

And you had a lovely couple of hours with your neighbours and hubby. Another big tick.

Just little bits at a time - that's all we can do - and that's how you seem to be approaching it, and it's going ok. Just little bits.

Neil

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

geoff — Mon, 09 Jun 2014 00:23:41 GMT

dear Mrs. C, I agree with Neil and that's unusual, and it's good on my two counts, as it has meant that you have regained some confidence with some fellow newcomers, however it still doesn't mean that it will happen to those that you feel uncomfortable with, but this will be overcome down the track, and secondly you made the decision to go next door, where you could have just stayed in your pj's and gone back to bed, oh and another one is that you accepted the kind gesture from your husband, rather than argue with him, and oh another one is that you have made the effort the do the dishes and wash some clothes.

All these are positive for you, and that's something to be proud of. L Geoff. x

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

MrsCam — Mon, 09 Jun 2014 11:21:59 GMT

Thanks guys... feeling much better today... been to work then went for a walk with a friend... tomorrow is a day off and I AM GOING TO DO MY STUDY!!!!

I am going to make myself do it as I know I will feel so much better when my course is complete

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

Mares73 — Tue, 10 Jun 2014 00:41:46 GMT

Dear Mrs C I just wanted to drop in & say you are doing REALLY WELL given the terrible symptoms of depression. You should be proud. As Neil said you have fitted right in & I hope this forum is a great support for you. I completely relate to feeling like you can't even get dressed. Some days are really tough. But I hope we can support you as we all know the darkness of depression. And Neil & Geoffrey are the two "gurus" in my mind on this site! Hope your day goes ok? Love Mares

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

Neil_1 — Tue, 10 Jun 2014 01:25:01 GMT

Dear Mrs C

Way to go – that’s all awesome words that your last post contained.

Um, may I be so bold as to where you work – as in, wasn’t yesterday a public holiday? So you work in hospitality or something? Not wishing to be pushy at all – just nosey. 😉 😉

And being bold again – whatcha studying??

And how long have you go to go with it?

Neil

ps: no obligation to answer any of the above. I hope I didn't overstep the mark and yeah. Tha'ts all. 🙂

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

MrsCam — Tue, 10 Jun 2014 03:28:08 GMT

Thats ok Neil, ask away :)

Wasnt a public holiday in WA, we had that last week.

I work in childcare. There is only one centre in our little mining town so it gets pretty busy... I am currently studying my diploma in childrens services. I did my certificate years ago but then I dropped out of second year so never completed the diploma. I have decided now to commit to doing that as I think it will give me a real sense of achievement. I dont even know if I will use it to work as a group leader but I want to have it just the same...

I had to upgrade my certificate as it has been over 15 years since I did that sothat is done and I also presented evidence to get RPL for 2 units so that leaves 16 to go. I am almost finished the first 2 which hopefully will be done by the end of this week. I had hoped to finish the whole course by xmas but I am not going to pressure myself too much so I have given myself till mid 2015...

Hope eveyone is having a good day... I am witing an assignment about fostering positive self esteem in young children... I could go on forever!!!!

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

MrsCam — Tue, 10 Jun 2014 03:31:55 GMT

Thanks Mares :)

Hope you are having a good day

It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

Neil_1 — Wed, 11 Jun 2014 02:15:07 GMT

Hey there Mrs C

Isn’t that unusual that WA had the week before to have the long weekend for the Queen’s birthday – and that means that WA were closer to the mark anyway, as I heard a trivia quiz over the weekend that mentioned that her real birthday is sometime in April. Possibly not the 1st though!! LOL (I don’t know why I wrote that, cause I never hardly ever use that). But I do like LMAO – or if I had to write it out in full here, it would be: Laughing My Backside Off !!

That’s awesome that you’re going for the next step in childcare and upgrading your quals. I too have a certificate in Centre-Based Child Care – I did that for a year in 1997, just after a ended a 12 year stint in the Public Service and thought I might try a change.

I completed the year successfully, but only to realise that the only kids I really wanted to take care of were my own. So my partner and I then began baby-making (one in 1998 and the other 2000 – actually when the Olympics in Sydney were on). Still I learnt a fair lot in that year – but sadly, I’m not sure how we’re travelling now with our 16yo son. The road is quite bumpy at times.

Isn’t it also amazing that child care worker’s pay is so low and miserable – when you consider what they do each and every day – looking after the children – making a safe, loving environment for them – nurturing them and supporting, etc – I could go on – and yet the child care worker’s pay is a pittance. It just doesn’t gel in my opinion.

Just before I finish this post, I’ll say that the plan that you’ve got mapped out is a very good one. No huge expectations to finish too soon – and as you say, by doing this, you won’t be creating any unnecessary pressure on yourself. Just go along and get it done in your own time at your own pace – very good philosophy Mrs C.

Great to hear from you again,

Neil