topic I feel very lonely. No one to talk to. in Depression

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Slippers — Mon, 12 Jul 2021 22:24:05 GMT

The family house is being renovated, the floors are being polished and walls painted. My sister has let me sleep in her campervan. Unfortunately and I don’t know why the 240 volt power has died to the campervan, when I told my sister that she had me running around for 20 minutes trying to work out why it isn’t working. In the end she said to me “I thought you knew how to work the van power” I spent a miserable night freezing in the van last night, I have to spend 2 to 3 weeks in the van while work in the house is done and last night was the 2nd one.

I feel lonely, my sister is up at the Central coast, my mother is in a local nursing home, and my cats are in a cattery while the house is renovated. I came home from work last night and plugged in the microwave from the house to a power point in the garage so I could cook and eat dinner. This morning I got up early and plugged in an old bar fridge, the fridge in the camper is not working and things will start to go off.
After I ate dinner, I went to bed feeling sorry for myself. I do have a local sister but she has stolen things from the house before, she does not get on with the sister from the Central coast. She has a spare bed that I could sleep in but I do not want to break the ties of the other sister despite the fact she makes me miserable.

If only I had someone to talk to. I cannot watch television in the van because of the power. I am at work today. This weekend I am looking at a house that I could buy, but I do not know whether I can afford is, the mortgage broker has told me that they have done their due diligence meaning I could afford the house. I feel like I am at the end of my tether with nothing to look forward to.

I got a lot of worry go around in my head.

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Sophie_M — Tue, 13 Jul 2021 00:24:14 GMT

Hi Slippers,

We are so sorry to hear that you are having a tough time with your living arrangements at the moment, it sounds like it is really tough to be living in the van right now. We hope that the power situation improves and that the bar fridge can sort out the food you have right now, good luck!

It can be so tricky as well to add in family stress alongside the challenges of renovating - well done for doing what you can and for looking into other options while you are waiting for the work to be done. It is also commendable that you are able to keep going in to work while you are experiencing all of this.

If you ever want someone to talk to, we are here for you 24/7. You can call us on 1300 22 4636 and one of our team will be ready to chat. We know how hard it can be and we want you to know that you don't have to go through this alone.

We can hear that you are feeling at the end of your tether and want to say how brave you must be to share that with us. Thank you for writing on the forums today, you never know who will read this and feel less alone in their own eexperience.

We hope that you will keep us updated on how you are going, if you feel comfortable doing so.

Kind regards ,
Sophie M

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

jtjt_4862 — Tue, 13 Jul 2021 01:09:47 GMT

Hi Slippers,

It breaks my heart to hear that you had to spend the night freezing in a camper van while your house is currently being renovated, and you have a lot of worries going through your mind at the moment. I'm really sorry to hear about that, that's very rough for you...

Pardon me for asking, as I'd like to know a bit more about your situation. Is the family home your current residential address (you live and sleep in it)? And what is going to happen to your family home once the renovation is complete?

If there's anything else that you'd like to talk about, I'm happy to listen to you Slippers. You're not alone, and you're doing amazing and strong to be making it this far. Stay strong and keep in touch!

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Slippers — Tue, 13 Jul 2021 01:23:28 GMT

Thank you. I am sitting at my desk struggling to stay awake. Yes my current residential address is where i use to sleep. Once the house renovations are completed the house will be sold. I heard from my sisters last night that they are going to be buying the house. The reason why is that if the house is sold and the money goes to my mother (she is the owner) then she will lose her pension.

I make 1500 a fortnight after tax; I have done some quick sums and worked out that I will not make ends meet unless I cut back a lot. Food, Netflix and the like, cat food, petrol for the car. I have been making a contribution of $75.00 a fortnight into my super; I am seriously considering stopping that, I think money would be that tight. The mortgage is around $225.00 a week and site fees are around the same amount. I contacted my budget to see if they can help, I hear mixed reports about them and the night I had last night has made me feel like I do not want to talk to them. I know they want to help but I find myself retreating from the world, I guess if I do not hear bad news then things would be okay (but will they)

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

jtjt_4862 — Tue, 13 Jul 2021 02:18:03 GMT

Hi Slippers,

Thank you for clarifying a bit more of your situation Slippers. Sorry to hear that you're struggling to stay awake at your desk, hope you can get some extra rest today to recover from last night's ordeal. I was wondering if there's someplace around you who might be able to have a look at the 240 volt power generator for you. Or perhaps you could try using an app called Airtasker to find someone local who is able to look into it for you. It's a small price to pay, but will be worth having that comfort in the long run if you'll be living in there for the next 2-3 weeks.

I can understand your worries and anxiousness on whether you will be able to commit and make ends meet with your current salary. Buying a house is a very big commitment, and can certainly be scary as the commitment is long term. Pardon me for asking, when you mentioned "mixed reports" coming from your budget report, do you mean they have uncertain views about whether you'll be able to afford buying the property? There's also the option of renting which can be considered too.

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Slippers — Tue, 13 Jul 2021 23:15:54 GMT

I hear mixed reports about budget direct and i decided that I didnt want to speak to them last night even after i had booked them in. Yesterday I cancelled my Netflix and Amazon tv accounts.

Last night was a bit of better night, I found my sisters beaded heat bag and I put that in the microwave for 30 seconds to it was warm I then put that under my dooner so I had a warm bed to get into. I spent about an hour chatting to a friend on Discord about how she saves money doing her grocery shopping; it was good to chat even about mundane things.

I hear this morning that the NSW premier may extend the lockdown into August; I do not know what that will do to my mental health. I am going out this weekend to look at a house to buy and I will need to take my clothing to a local laundrette to clean since I cannot use the washing machine at home (so close but far). I do not know what I can do with myself to take my mind off everything on the weekend when I am free. All my books, TV, computer are packed away so I cannot use any of them.

Any suggestions please?

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

jtjt_4862 — Wed, 14 Jul 2021 00:04:22 GMT

Hi Slippers,

I'm glad to hear that you were able to sleep with a warm bed, and that you had a nice chat with your friend on Discord as well. I was thinking about you yesterday and was hoping that you were able to find better comfort in your camper van last night, so it's a relief to hear that you found your sister's beaded heat bag.

I read on this news this morning as well about the extended lockdown in NSW that's going to be "harsher than Victoria". Wondering how much harsher it'll be... but that means it's time to unleash some mad creativity to keep busy.

If you don't mind learning something new, I would suggest picking up drawing. It's a weird thing to suggest, but drawing helps keep the mind occupied, as you observe your surrounding and try to draw things out in different ways. You can try drawing what you see; draw them in simple shapes, try drawing just the outline of the object, put in some weirdness like a quokka popping out of a sink filled with warm bath water. It allows you to express your feelings through visuals rather than words. It costs a sketch book and a couple of pencils to get started with (skip the eraser, you won't need that).

If you like reading, you could try getting Kindle on your phone, and a couple of books from Amazon. Skip the Kindle Subscription and stick with one-time-purchases on books. Last thing we need is another subscription added to your monthly expenses (plus Kindle subscription doesn't give you access to all the books in Amazon, just a limited selection of it).

It's great to hear that you chose to cancel your Netflix and Amazon TV accounts, that will save you heaps on the long run, and you can return to them when you're at a better financial position to do so. Might be worth reviewing your monthly expenses again; detailing out every single spending, and see where/how you can make savings. You'd be amazed there are some stuffs that have been overlooked at, and when you make a saving on it, it'll feel great!

If you need someone to talk to during the weekends, you're always welcome to chat what's on your mind in the BB Forums as well, or mingle with others about mundane things. It's a friendly, warm and supportive forum, and we're always here to listen to you. You're never alone Slippers :).

Hope you have a pleasant day at work today, and looking forward to chatting with you more!

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Here2Talk — Wed, 14 Jul 2021 00:28:06 GMT

Hi Slippers,

sorry to hear about your loneliness and house/money problems. Do you have many other friends you can talk to?

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Slippers — Wed, 14 Jul 2021 00:29:17 GMT

Because of the lockdown I didnt think I could go and see them. I do have a computer but it is packed up in the garage.

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Slippers — Wed, 14 Jul 2021 05:07:55 GMT

I have reached out to my company EAP for help as well. I sent them this message.

The family house is being renovated, the floors are being polished and walls painted. My sister has let me sleep in her campervan. Unfortunately the 240 volt power has died to the campervan, I spent a miserable night freezing in the van last night, I have to spend 2 to 3 weeks in the van while work in the house is done and last night was the 2nd one.

I feel lonely, my sister is up at the Central coast, my mother is in a local nursing home, and my cats are in a cattery while the house is renovated. The family home is being sold to pay for Mum’s room in the retirement room. I have found a place on the Central coast close to family that will accept cats, the mortgage and fees are approx. $930.00 a fortnight and I am paid $1500.00 after tax. I feel like I am being forced into a situation I have no control over. The threat of the family home being sold has made me make decision I do not like. Coupled by the fact of the lockdown in NSW due to Covid I have no one to speak to and my tv, booked and computer are locked away in the garage prior to moving and while the house is renovated. I have worked for company ******** 20 years this September and the idea of having little to no money left over after all the bills and food are done scare me.

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

jtjt_4862 — Wed, 14 Jul 2021 06:41:39 GMT

Hi Slippers,

May I say, you've done well in reaching out to your company's EAP for help. I hope they'll be able to provide you the assistance and counselling that you need for your situation. And my apologies for misunderstanding your financial situation. I mistook $225 a week as your mortgage and fees. It really sucks that NSW has gone into extended lockdown, and as a Victorian who have been thru lockdowns, my sympathies goes to you and fellow Australians in NSW to have to go thru a lockdown... Stay strong and you'll make it through!

I've been thinking, you mentioned the word "Discord", is it right for me to assume you're a gamer as well? If you are, wanna share what kind of games you play? And if you have any hobbies that you do during your spare time? Would love to hear what things you're interested in 🙂

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

LJpd81 — Wed, 14 Jul 2021 06:59:00 GMT

Just wanted to say that I think you're brave for reaching out on here. Senfing hugs. Always support here on the forum. I think talking on here is good thing.

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Slippers — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 00:03:03 GMT

Thank you. I am using the forums as my voice; I got no one at home to talk to 😞
Tonight I am off to BCF to buy a sleeping bag, something that will handle a less than zero temperature. Last night again I tossed and turned half the night. I am not sure whether it was because I was cold or the dark thoughts going through my head. I feel like I will be suffering from monetary depression if I buy the place on the Central Coast, mortgage is $450.00 a fortnight and site fees are about the same. Getting paid $1500.00 a fortnight does not leave a lot left over and I have not even looked at power, water or natural gas costs. I am seriously thinking of buying something cheaper but I know my sister will be angry that I did not move up close to her. When I see the owners of the Central Coast property, I will ask them about site fees and if it is as dear as I think, it is I am going to tell my sister that I cannot afford it. There are some places up at Mount Druitt or St Mary’s that would be better money wise.

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

jtjt_4862 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 02:35:53 GMT

Hi Slippers,

Hopefully the site fees aren't as dire as you thought, but if you feel more comfortable buying something cheaper (and your finances are in favor of it), I'm sure your sister would understand your situation if you spoke to her about it. After all, they can't control which property you must buy, and can only advise what their thoughts/expectations are. It's your money, so you have all the power to decide which property you want to buy.

Stay Strong :)! You go this.

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

UltimaMic — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 03:17:09 GMT

I think at least you are doing the right thing budget wise - look at your inflows and your outflows- cut back on non-essentials- I also keep a tight budget... many others I know do too. (I will admit that you can access food support from Foodbanks if your bills too high for groceries - I have used them a couple of times and am grateful for their support) Get rid off all subscription services - that is good! especially because you will be moving around. The only thing I think is important is your phone/internet subscription - because that is how many of us stay connected these days.

Sounds like you know some people that you can reach out too electronically while the lock-down is on. That's a plus. I and many others are doing the same. I too feel a bit down at these lock-down times. As one of the others mentioned try to find something to keep you occupied - read books, drawing, gardening (you mentioned the renovated house going to be sold so is the garden looking ok?)

You are going through a process of moving so ensure you can plan - a timeline can help us keep in perspective - you are heading to a new future - new possibilities. Change is hard but if we plan well we can manage it day by day.

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Slippers — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 05:22:29 GMT

I just texted my other sister, the one who has stolen from the house before. I wanted to go and see her. She is the eldest of all four and does not get on with my other two sisters. I really hate being alone at nights and the weekend is really going to suck I believe. Do you think I should tell her what is going on knowing that she'll probably tell the entire world and my other two sisters will hear back and get angry (angrier) with me

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

jtjt_4862 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 05:53:06 GMT

Hi Slippers,

I'm curious to know, when you mention "stolen from the house before", was it something very valuable that she stole from the house? And also would like to hear about why you fear your sisters might get angry at you for telling her about wanting to buy a cheaper house at a slightly further location? It's okay if you don't feel like answering those questions. Just wanting to know a little bit more about your situation, and want to assure you that this is a safe place for you to talk about anything that's on your mind.

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Slippers — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 06:01:00 GMT

When we were clearing out Mums bedroom there was 4 piles of stuff, one for each of the kids. Things that my other two sisters that they'd put on their pile my eldest sister reported stole it. I just realised that my sister lives in another government area, so I arent going to be able to see her on the weekend. I think I could tell her whats going on with me still?

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

jtjt_4862 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 09:09:30 GMT

Hi Slipper,

Thank you for sharing that. I'm sorry to hear about it... Perhaps it's still worth letting her know that you want to look for a cheaper property to purchase, mainly because you're not in a good financial situation to be buying the one that you had initially planned. Hopefully your sister will understand, and she may even support you in your decision to do so. But I'm still unsure what sort of person your sister is, so I can only hope she'll understand your situation and support your decision. Was it your eldest sister who lent you her campervan for you to stay in?

I feel very lonely. No one to talk to.

Slippers — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 22:09:56 GMT

I got my new sleeping bag last night, it has a minus 9 rating so I was warm last night. I found out from my eldest sister that the other two sisters are going to buy the house then rent it out. When my eldest sister asked about where I am going to be they said he's going to get a house on the central coast and he wouldnt be able to afford the rent at home anyway. It makes me feel like I am being treated by dirt, the two sisters are more interested in their bank statements then their own brother. I contacted the owner of the village that I was going to buy in and ask them for a copy of the contract of sale. If I have a copy of it does it mean that i am going to go ahead and buy. I honestly am sizing my options. I dont beleive i am going to afford the place at the central coast so its either somewhere cheaper or renting. I am suspicious that once Mum dies that I wont see any money from family house sale (even though the house may have already been sold two to five years previous by this time)