topic Thank you in Depression

Thank you

White_Rose — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 05:15:23 GMT

Dear BB Administrators

Thank you for your emails. It's nice to know you care enough to monitor the messages. I have tried to be hopeful about myself and to respond to the people who write in here but I feel I only give the wrong messages. I cannot respond to other people's problems anymore. All I do is cry over their pain. I cannot even manage my own difficulties.

I don't know what I am going to do. I am hanging on to see my GP and ask for some help. Maybe she can help me live with what I feel is a gross betrayal.

Mary

Thank you

Jacko777 — Sat, 18 Oct 2014 12:55:43 GMT

Well can I just say, every one of your posts that I have read Mary has been lovely and helpful. And you have been so brave and honest to share your experiences as you support others, it really is a special effort you have put in and I don't agree that you 'give the wrong messages'.

I bet if someone posted with the same situation as you, you would have some good advice for them.

Thank you

Doolhof — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 07:14:27 GMT

HI Mary,

I would like to encourage you to seek help from your GP.

I would like to thank you for your sharing, for the advice and encouragement I have read from you in the past.

I too sometimes feel overwhelmed by the amount of pain and suffering people experience. I certainly don't have the right words, only words from my heart, hoping that some of what I write may be of benefit.

Maybe it is time for you to take a rest from trying to assist others for a while, so you can concentrate on yourself and your needs. It is beneficial for our hearts and souls to help others, there just comes a time when we have to back off a little and restore ourselves.

Hoping you can find a sense of peace and rest. From Mrs. Dools.

Thank you

White_Rose — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 07:28:25 GMT

Thank you Mrs Dools and Jacko

Your words are a balm to my soul. When awful things happen I guess I go to pieces. It seems to me that I am as they say, past praying for. Not even sure why I am coming back to this site.

Thank you. I will chat with my GP in a couple of days now that she has returned from holiday.

Regards

Mary

Thank you

White_Rose — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 10:31:42 GMT

Hello Mrs Dools and Jacko

I did post a reply to you but maybe it disappeared into cyberspace.

Thank you for your encouragement and support. I am in a bad place I think but strangely I have stopped feeling hurt or upset. In a way I am enjoying the feeling of nothing and I really hope it will last.

Mary

Thank you

white knight — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 13:07:18 GMT

Hi Mary

I echo Jacko and Mrs Dools kind words. You have been one of my favourite posters here. However I have stopped posting on many occasions and had a break.

Whether you stay off the forum or return when you feel stronger.....please remember you are cherished and admired, cared for and emotionally cradled.

Take care our dear friend.

Thank you

AGrace — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 17:40:53 GMT

Hi Mary,

I hope what the others have said has given you encouragement. You have certainly dedicated a lot of time to supporting others on the forums here. Sometimes the pendulum swings the other way and we find ourselves needing that support, and that too is ok. I can only hope we can offer you the same kind words and compassion that you have shown others many times over.

Try not to fight the way you are feeling, it can often just lead to more suffering, instead accept that everything is as it should be, and surround yourself with our love and understanding. We are all here for you.

AGrace

Thank you

Jo3 — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 20:59:04 GMT

Hi Mary

I understand what you are saying because at times I have felt the same way.

You have been a great support to a lot of people on here and I appreciate the times when you have written back to me and giving me the support and courage to keep going.

I hope you do stay with us, we are all here to support you.

Please take care and if you need a break, that's fine too; your health and well being is important.

Hope to hear from you again

Jo xx

Thank you

geoff — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 23:08:16 GMT

dear Mary, I tried to reply to you a few hours ago but there was a problem with my pc as system error always appeared, but unfortunately you are not well, so there does become times when we need to take a step back from helping others so that we can then concentrate on getting ourselves better, and this is where you are now.

Your of no betrayal at all so please don't ever think this way, it's your depression making you think like this, because you have been such a caring and loving person to all those you have replied back to, but now it's your turn so that we can reciprocate the generosity that you have set.

You are a beautiful person, and what this could only mean is you need some nurturing and care, and to be protected from any harm you may have, so we want to try and get you back onto your feet.

This however could mean that you post here asking for our help, or whether you choose the other option and stay away for as long as you need, and this decision can only be made by yourself, but please take the greatest care for the future. L Geoff. x

Thank you

Jacko777 — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 00:07:26 GMT

All the best with your GP Mary.

And remember, it's not how many times you fall down that counts, it's how many times you get back up. Get up, dust off, chin up. x

Thank you

White_Rose — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 05:14:29 GMT

Hello Everyone

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I expect you all know how how heartening it is when people offer support and comfort and I have needed this for the past few weeks. I really did not expect such responses. As someone said, it's part of depression to feel bad about yourself and to feel a failure.

I saw my GP yesterday and we had a long talk. She is so straight forward about life and I trust her implicitly. My distress is about trusting someone who betrayed my confidence. I know this is a fairly common occurrence, but this is a professional person who should have known better.

I have pretty well decided what I am going to do, walk away, but it's hard. Sounds stupid to have any hesitation under the circumstances, but then the whole matter is so painful and I want to feel cared for. I know that if I stay I will not feel cared for any longer so it really is pointless to remain. It still feels gut wrenching to go.

So I am grieving big time about this loss and it hurts so much. I know eventually it will all go away if I just hold on and keep my thoughts occupied in other directions. The trouble of course is that our thoughts jump in at the most inconvenient times and can be so devastating.

So I may not be around for a while under I can smile again. Serendipitously I was given the poem below a couple of days ago and although it made me weep I do see the point.

The Guest House.

this being human is a guest house.

every morning a new arrival.

a joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

welcome and entertain them all!

even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honourably.

he may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

the dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

Thank you all

Mary

Thank you

Doolhof — Fri, 24 Oct 2014 21:06:27 GMT

Dear Mary,

Thanks for sharing that amazingly insightful poem with us. I agree with you that thoughts can come into our mind so randomly, and often unwanted at inappropriate times.

I'm pleased you have a GP whom you can trust and talk to honestly about issues. We all need someone we can trust who we feel will do their best for us. Everyone requires the feeling of being needed, accepted and loved, I hope you are able to receive those emotions and take them on board.

You know how to contact everyone here, so when you need to or want to, the BB community and family will be here, ready to welcome you back and accept all you wish to share with us.

Depression is quite a journey with its ups and downs.

Thinking of you, From Mrs. Dools