https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/lost/m-p/626175#M57883 <P><SPAN>I don’t really know how to describe how I’m feeling, but I thought writing it somewhere might help.</SPAN></P><P><SPAN>I’ve been seeing a psychologist, and they think I may have bipolar disorder, so I’m currently trying to work through what’s actually going on with me. At the same time, a lot of trauma from things that happened about five years ago has suddenly come back up. I thought I had moved past a lot of it, but apparently I haven’t, and dealing with it now has been really overwhelming.</SPAN></P><P><SPAN>I honestly feel like a lost puppy in a park sometimes. I don’t really know where I’m going or what I’m supposed to be doing. Some days I feel wild, energetic and like I want to do everything, talk to everyone and just live. Then other days I’m completely the opposite. I feel depressed, exhausted and disconnected from everything. I don’t want to do anything or talk to anyone, and sometimes I genuinely feel like I could just stare at a wall for hours.</SPAN></P><P><SPAN>I think the hardest part is never really knowing which version of me I’m going to wake up as. I know there are people who love me and I know there are good things in my life, but knowing that doesn’t magically make the sadness disappear.</SPAN></P> Tue, 06 Oct 2026 13:34:50 GMT Guest_30238621 2026-10-06T13:34:50Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/lost/m-p/626175#M57883 <P><SPAN>I don’t really know how to describe how I’m feeling, but I thought writing it somewhere might help.</SPAN></P><P><SPAN>I’ve been seeing a psychologist, and they think I may have bipolar disorder, so I’m currently trying to work through what’s actually going on with me. At the same time, a lot of trauma from things that happened about five years ago has suddenly come back up. I thought I had moved past a lot of it, but apparently I haven’t, and dealing with it now has been really overwhelming.</SPAN></P><P><SPAN>I honestly feel like a lost puppy in a park sometimes. I don’t really know where I’m going or what I’m supposed to be doing. Some days I feel wild, energetic and like I want to do everything, talk to everyone and just live. Then other days I’m completely the opposite. I feel depressed, exhausted and disconnected from everything. I don’t want to do anything or talk to anyone, and sometimes I genuinely feel like I could just stare at a wall for hours.</SPAN></P><P><SPAN>I think the hardest part is never really knowing which version of me I’m going to wake up as. I know there are people who love me and I know there are good things in my life, but knowing that doesn’t magically make the sadness disappear.</SPAN></P> Tue, 06 Oct 2026 13:34:50 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/lost/m-p/626175#M57883 Guest_30238621 2026-10-06T13:34:50Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/lost/m-p/626176#M57884 Hi Guest_30238621,<BR /> Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing here. We hope you find some comfort in sharing here, and in hearing from the lovely community members, many of whom will be able to relate to some of the things you’re going through.<BR /> If you ever want to talk this through with one of the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors, feel free to give us a call on 1300 22 4636, or you can reach them through Online Chat here.<BR /> Thank you for sharing this and giving this community a chance to offer you their understanding and advice. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else.<BR /> Kind regards,<BR /> Sophie M Tue, 06 Oct 2026 13:50:26 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/lost/m-p/626176#M57884 Sophie_M 2026-10-06T13:50:26Z