What is wrong with me

avecela — Sun, 06 Sep 2026 14:22:49 GMT

Recently, I have been extremely overwhelmed within everything that's happening in my life. It goes to a point with I feel a sense of numbness or hopelessness throughout everything I do. I struggle to find my purpose in living. I often fantacize my family finding me dead because I think it is the only way they could see that I am truly struggling. I don't know why I am like this. I can't even comprehend my own emotions. I don't even know if my feelings are ever valid anymore. Am I actually going through a mental disorder or am I just a teenager, am I just sad, am I just being dramatic? I don't know how to feel about myself, about my emotions. I want to get better but each day I lose hope and the sense of purpose in my life.

Re: What is wrong with me

therising — Mon, 07 Sep 2026 06:16:05 GMT

Hi avecela

I feel for you so much at a time where you've been questioning a number of things, including your purpose or reason for being here.

While I believe our sense of purpose can change here and there throughout our life, I tend to think our ultimate purpose is to work out who we naturally are and how we naturally tick. As a 56yo gal, I'm still trying to work out who I am and how I tick. We can gradually learn about ourself through our challenges. It can be a seriously tough way to learn at times but a way nonetheless. Our challenges tend to force us outside our comfort zone, a place where we come to discover so much. Finding people who can guide us, bring out the best in us and help us figure out what our challenges are really about can make a massive difference. I'd say, above all else, what can often make the biggest difference is finding those who can relate to how we feel our emotions. This way we're not feeling alone or trying to make sense of our feelings on our own.

I wasn't always one of those mind/body/soul kinda people. It just happened while I was trying to make sense of a lot of things. While chemistry or biology could help explain a lot (when it came to why things could become depressing or stressful or upsetting etc on occasion), psychology or a greater understanding of mental processes also helped explain things. But there always seemed to be something missing. I found it to be a soulful angle that helped more so explained that sometimes soul destroying feeling or a feeling of emptiness or longing for a sense of greater self understanding and sense of purpose. I know that soulful angle's not everyone's cup-o-tea but I find it helps me make sense of a lot.

One of the things I like most about that angle involves the idea that we are born to sense, hence why we're sensitive. Figuring out how to sense becomes the ultimate goal. Not a lot of people teach us how to sense and make sense of our feelings like absolute pros. Btw, I find the word 'yet' can make an enormous difference at times, for it's that very word that can give us hope. For example, 'I can't sense my purpose yet (but I will come to sense it over time)', 'I don't understand how I feel yet (but I will come to better understand my feelings over time)', 'I don't know who I am yet (but I will come to know who I naturally am over time)' and so on. Without 'yet' and that which follows it, all we have is 'I can't sense my purpose, I don't understand how I feel and I don't know who I am'. These are the kinds of thoughts that can bring us down and if we are someone who can sense our thoughts, they become so much more than just simple thoughts alone. They are the energy we can feel running through us.❤️

topic What is wrong with me in Depression

What is wrong with me

Re: What is wrong with me