topic Re: Gosh where do I start in Depression

Gosh where do I start

Unique-Name — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 00:46:14 GMT

Hi everyone

I’m 62, transgender female and have taken early retirement

I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, identity, alcohol abuse and low self esteem for most of my life, never really fitting in although I tried to conform to societal expectations

When I finally transitioned some years ago my wife ‘suggested I leave’ and I moved into rentals.

On and off I have had my sons live with me but now I’m on my own as they have moved interstate (they’re grown up and I’m very proud that they have found their own feet)

Due to lack of self esteem I always felt I had to work harder than anyone else and I think that led to burnout and early retirement

I’ve recently been diagnosed with chronic leukaemia which led me to stop smoking and dramatically reduce alcohol consumption

my current emotions are

the world generally is on a course of destruction, wars in Middle East and Ukraine, climate change, rise in far right extremism, intolerance to transgender existence, in Australia the media is whipping up hatred and far right extremism.

in short, the environment around me is going to shit

i no longer go out socially as there is no need but I’d like to try but social anxiety stops me from trying new things

I garden, decorate, diy and get on well with my neighbours but struggle to communicate with old work colleagues (never really had out of work friends) as it’s too hard to try and be interesting

my fears are that I’ll become more and more introvert and isolated and one day, die alone…

ideas?

Re: Gosh where do I start

white knight — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 01:23:50 GMT

Hi, welcome

So thankful you are open and honest and we never know who is going to read your valuable post and benefit.

I'm 70yo married happily and 2 adult children one I see the other not. I've got bipolar and other stuff. Due to sensitivity and a working history that included prison officer and other work I have had reluctance to view some news on TV. In fact if I see war news or dead bodies and the like, I get up and make a coffee. My wife is sensitive to animal cruelty so I turn the channel. This is actually wise, prevention better than cure when dealing with what hurts us. So immersing ourselves in news that leads to a mild form of paranoia whereby it has an effect upon us isn't a good thing. Hence we "shut ourselves away" from same to remain sane.

I have so much admiration for you. Your raised your kids, tried hard to mix with others and fighting your illness is remarkable. I must say that ex work colleagues isnt the ideal person generally to seek close friendships with. Usually they dont have the same interests apart from work. Far better imo to seek like minded people and I'll leave that to you to figure out. So socialising is what you do need but the right people. There's a lot of kind people out there especially where transgender mix and you might find great comfort and confidence among them.

So, protect your mind by closing the doors to global tyranny, environmental disasters or at least take the view that you cannot make much of a difference so let it go. Seek like minded people. Embrace your love inside you that is clearly there and find interests that capitalise on such love. Find interests like writing (I do poetry) etc.In essence divert your mind, make yourself busy and live life to the full.

I hope that helps. Thoughts?

TonyWK

Re: Gosh where do I start

Unique-Name — Thu, 03 Sep 2026 03:28:40 GMT

Thank you TonyWK for your thoughtful response

I’ve tried to adopt a ‘sphere of influence’ approach to events happening around me but I only seem to be successful in that when I’m feeling under control of my emotions. I need to develop techniques for recognising situations before they get on top of me rather than being overwhelmed and slip into despair

one thing I’ve done in the last couple of days is disabling notifications/counters on most of my apps, particularly facebook which is the worst for me due to its algorithms deliberately stirring up anger/despair

so it’s early days (again) I’ll try and deal with one issue at a time, social interaction will be the hardest but my next immediate challenge will be conquering my fear of new situations (I get panic attacks and come back home), if I do something once and know how to get in, buy tickets, where to sit etc then I’m ok

ideally, I’d do things like this with someone but that’s not going to happen immediately

thank you again

Emma

Re: Gosh where do I start

white knight — Thu, 03 Sep 2026 06:06:24 GMT

You seem to be getting on top of it all, great self discipline you have.

I went off facebook in 2016 for 5 months, I quickly realised it was the "way of the world" in that a few clubs I'm in people relied on it for even basic communication. So I rejoined and decided to take charge of my facebook, not allow it to control me.

As soon as there is a toxic person I block them. If someone hasnt been active for 2 years I unfriend them. And thats been good, recently I've noticed many people abuse others more than ever. So I limit my time on it.

As for panic attacks here is a few posts you might be interested in.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/they-just-wont-understand-why/td-p/172737

I hope they help and thankyou for replying, you are welcome to continue conversing at your leisure.

TonyWK

Re: Gosh where do I start

Unique-Name — Thu, 03 Sep 2026 06:35:58 GMT

Thank you TonyKW

will have a read and see what it says

so happy to have reached out 🙂