topic Am I overreacting? in Depression

Chronic Depression

M-aggie — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 08:23:12 GMT

I dont want to be alive anymore, im tired. Everyday Im trying to convince myself life is good and worth living but it's a constant struggle. Im having bad dreams more often and I have trouble falling asleep. I often think that I'm a bad person, that I'm rude and dumb. I want so badly to contribute something to society but I dont think I ever will, Im not special, I don't have talents.

Hi M-aggie, We want to first thank you for being so open...

Sophie_M — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 08:53:34 GMT

Hi M-aggie,

We want to first thank you for being so open and honest about your exprerience with chronic depression.

We can't imagine it would have been easy to share but you showed how strong you are by sharing anyway. Thank you for doing that, M-aggie.

It can be an incredibly difficult headspace to be in when you express not wanting to be alive anymore, along with the constant struggle of convincing yourself that life is worth living. The bad dreams can make getting good quality sleep even more challenging. We hear how difficult it has been for you.

Your feelings are valid. Please know that you matter, there is good yet to come and your life is worth living even if you may not see it right now.

M-aggie, if you’re feeling suicidal or are having thoughts about harming yourself, it's important to take immediate steps to keep safe. Lifeline offer crisis support, available 24/7 on 13 11 14, or online: https://www.lifeline.org.au/

If you’d prefer to reach out to us, we’re on 1300 22 4636, or you can use our webchat here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/

If there’s ever an immediate risk of harm, the number to call is 000 (triple zero).

You don't have to go through this alone. We are here for you and so are our wonderful online community. Thank you again for sharing. We hope you find comfort in the safe and supportive space our online community provide.

With kindness,

Sophie M

Re: Chronic Depression

Guest_10472 — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 09:12:15 GMT

sophie m gave such kind advice. I really like reading her message. I have phone life line recently & found it so calming & validating. I also write down how awful I'm feeling. It seems to help me. I write pages! I understand your thoughts I too have them. Sending you a virtual hug.

Re: Chronic Depression

therising — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 15:11:11 GMT

Hi M-aggie

I feel so much for you as you face the pure exhaustion that can be found within a depression. It can be brutal and unrelenting and the longer it goes on for the more you start to forget what life was like when the energy was there. If 'life' is the feeling of energy running through us, to not feel that energy can leave us thinking 'What's the point? Why am I even here?'.

Personally, I think we're here to discover who we are and who we're not. We're here to discover how we work. We're here to discover what raises us and what brings us down, what energises us and what zaps the life from us or depresses us. We're here for a whole number of reasons. It can take a lifetime to come to truly know ourself. As a 55yo gal, I have some self understanding but am yet to reach a full understanding.

M-aggie, I've found a lot comes down to what I imagine. Sounds simplistic but I've found this to be the case over the years. I think it's about imagining the stuff that works for us, as individuals. While I offer a few examples, keep in mind I'm a bit of a 'woo woo' gal😁. I like to imagine that I was born to find out who I am. I like to imagine that I was born to feel, while coming to my senses (including that sixth sense or those extended senses beyond the physical ones). I like to imagine I am far more than what I think I am or believe myself to be. If I can let go of some of my old beliefs bit by bit, I will come to know who I naturally am more and more. I will discover why I'm so special and what my natural talents are. I've become more of a soulful or woo woo gal for good reason and that's partly based on psychology and biology not being enough for me. While they definitely offer insight into who we are and how we tick, I believe there's something so much deeper to who we are, otherwise we wouldn't suffer so much through not fully knowing ourself in natural or deeper ways.

While I've experienced biological reasons for depression and psychological reasons, there definitely have also been times where that 'Dark night of the soul' vibe has been a thing, including at this point of my life. As we make our way through the darkness, it becomes about having light shed on what we're experiencing, so that it becomes so much clearer to us exactly where we are and where we need to head.

M-aggie, I'm an absolute shocker when it comes to remembering my dreams. It's been said that the best way to recall dreams involves writing them down while in a semi-conscious state, that in between state when we're still half asleep but half awake or waking up at the same time. So, a foot in each world (the dream world and the real world). Dreams can be incredibly telling and they can be of guidance in some cases. There are times when we wake up from a dream and think 'Well that was absolute nonsense' and then there are times where we can think 'There was definitely something to that which is worth wondering about'. I've met with some of my greatest revelations through making sense of certain more memorable nightmares.

Am I overreacting?

M-aggie — Thu, 02 Jul 2026 09:17:08 GMT

I was talking to an ex fling/ new friend and asking why he hasnt reached out in weeks after we said we were going to be friends, saying that if we weren't going to be friends just say that. He said a bunch of things but one of them was and I quote "I suppose I figured if I was going to ask how you are then I needed to have the ability to come and help if things weren't great." Am I overreacting or is this basically saying that I am a burden on him and an unstable person that needs to be saved? It makes me feel really bad about myself and angry at him that he thinks of me like that. I do struggle with depression and suicidal ideation, I have spoken to him about it but I've never made him do anything or asked him to do anything. One day when I was really suicidal I offered to help him clean his house because I didnt want to spend the day alone but I havent done anything like that before or since. Hearing this from him who is one of the very few people I've opened up to makes me want to disappear.

Hey M-aggie, Thank you for your bravery and openness in s...

Sophie_M — Thu, 02 Jul 2026 09:38:00 GMT

Hey M-aggie,
Thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. We can understand how difficult it must be to feel this way, and we really appreciate you being open and sharing what's going on for you right now.

Is there anyone that you feel able to discuss this in person with? We’re reaching out to you privately to check you’re ok. In the meantime, we’d encourage you to give the Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here.

If you’re feeling suicidal or are having thoughts about harming yourself, it's important that you take immediate steps to keep safe. That might mean connecting with existing supports, following a safety plan, or you could connect with Lifeline on 13 11 14. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency, and you need to call 000 (triple zero).

We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you, and we’re sure they’ll spot your post soon enough and have some kind words and understanding for you.
Kind regards,
Sophie M

Im a burden

M-aggie — Fri, 24 Jul 2026 14:03:53 GMT

I've been suicidal for a couple of months now, the thoughts ease sometimes but never fully go away. I want to tell my friends and ask for help, a coffee, a chat. But I feel a burden. Ive had depression for years, im always the depressed friend and its getting old. I caught up with my friend the other day and he was telling me its so good to see me well and I didn't want to tell him how depressed ive been because I want to be well and I don't want to be a source of stress for my friends. I just want to disappear and let them enjoy life without me bringing them down.

Re: Im a burden

white knight — Sat, 25 Jul 2026 01:44:54 GMT

Oh, you hurting soul,

Thankyou for your post and you continue to raise questions and thats what we strive for. I hope we are helping.

This forum exists because we cannot rely on our family and friends to be our therapist, nor can we have the expectations they are there when we see them, to lift us up. Yes, its enduring for them and its doesnt mean they dont love us, it means they dont have the expertise for soothing a invisible disability. They have limits.

So, it might mean you feel your friendships are only surface relationships, thats ok because most friendships are. Our friends dont want deep and meaningful conversations very often. Also try to interpret what they say eg "its so good to see me well " could be read as "I'm so glad to see you".

With mental health issues we tend to be more sensitive than usual and focussed on our depression because we are in pain so we desperately need to receive understanding and remedy.

So, to move on with your needs lets focus on what can help you. I've got a few posts below, click on the links and read the first post of each thread only. Then we can discuss them. These can be life changing and there is many of them in our library - just use search.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/they-just-wont-understand-why/td-p/172737

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation/td-p/149708

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-and-sensitivity-a-connection/td-p/47148

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/is-quot-snap-out-of-it-quot-fully-unjustified/td-p/434407

Reply anytime I'm here daily

TonyWK

Re: Im a burden

M-aggie — Sat, 25 Jul 2026 06:01:07 GMT

I understand that, I just feel so isolated and lonely at the moment. I don't have family nearby and my friendships seem to be fading. Im 23 and trying to manage my depression on my own. I do therapy once a fortnight and take antidepressants but I still feel hopeless most of the time.

Re: Im a burden

mmMekitty — Sat, 25 Jul 2026 12:28:51 GMT

Hello M-aggie,

Welcome to the forums,

Just so you know, I've spent many years with a low level, like in the background, feeling & thoughts about ending my life. these ideas have decreased with time & the therapy I've had. The depression I still have is much less severe, too, so much so my psych doesn't call it depression anymore.

When I was young, in my teens & all the way through until my thirties, I could not conceive of a time when I'd have these much milder symptoms.

It seems to me, feeling better doesn't happen by accident; it takes work. Learning some strategies to use when we are feeling so low we want to end it. I think one thing I do when getting so low, feeling I don't want to get up & face the day is to make myself do that. I have music I like to listen, dance & sing to as well.

Another thing, when I was young, I also felt I was a burden. & just quietly, I still do dread the idea of becoming a burden to my sister at least - I'm not in contact with other family members. She's got responsibilities enough without me adding to her lot.

Therefore, logically looking after myself has taken on a level of importance now, very much more than I would admit before. I'm getting on, just a few years younger than White Knight. Mys sister is not much younger than me, either.

So, I've relied on my psych more & more as I had realised that while writing journals to myself was helpful for a time, it's also like crying into a vacuum.

Do you talk about strategies with your therapist? Do you have a plan of action for when the feelings become overwhelming?

White Knight has given you some links to other discussions. (Thank you WK). If you look around BB, there is lots of info, many discussions - try to not become overwhelmed by all the info. Just know it is here to use as you need.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty

Re: Im a burden

therising — Sun, 26 Jul 2026 09:22:45 GMT

Hi M-aggie

I've found sometimes it pays to trigger people to a serious sense of wonder. What I mean by that is the next time someone says 'How are you?', depending on who it is it can't hurt to say 'To tell you the truth, I've been wondering why I've been struggling quite a bit lately. Maybe you can help me work out why'. The kinds of people who are triggered to wonder will typically be those who deeply feel for us and/or those who love to solve a good mystery. Either way, we're not being left alone to wonder about why we can be struggling in so many ways. Sometimes we can be led to consciously recognise exactly what our list of struggles looks like. While we may have thought we had just a few things on that list, a friend or some other wonderful person may point to a whole stack of things that can explain a lot of the reasons for our sense of exhaustion and/or sense of feeling so lost. In other words, you could say 'I knew I was sensing some seriously depressing factors, I just didn't know precisely what a lot of those factors were until now. No wonder I'm struggling'.

I think the people who really care about us may initially sense how down we feel (when we mention it) but then stop sensing that in its entirety in order to get a feel for what's going to raise us to a difference. They are able to feel for us in more ways than one, our emotions and our needs. The world is definitely full of different types. There are those who'll do what I just mentioned or those who'll say 'That's no good' and leave it at that, those who don't want to sense how down we feel and therefor not visit us, those who obviously bring us down with their words and the list goes on. We want the open minded wonderers on our team, the mystery solvers, the feelers and the raisers. Everyone else is questionable. Took me a long time to figure that one out, decades to realise how questionable some people can be. I think the most questionable ones can be those who know we're at rock bottom in depression (at some time in our life) yet simply say 'They're so negative all the time'. I question why such people can't occasionally feel the need to meet us where we're at, so that we're not feeling so lost and alone in the dark. Whether they bring with them (into that deep dark well/depression) the opportunity to vent, a tissue to wipe away our tears, a sense of wonder or even an action plan to help raise us, the main thing is that they show up. The keepers are the ones who show up, not those who leave us alone.❤️

Re: Im a burden

M-aggie — Sun, 26 Jul 2026 10:34:39 GMT

That’s actually really helpful therising. I never thought of asking people for help in such a way.

Re: Im a burden

M-aggie — Tue, 28 Jul 2026 11:35:15 GMT

I read through your threads, I don't know if I fully understand all of them. I am feeling better right now as I talked to my friend yesterday and was able to speak about my depression and how its been affecting me. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and it didn't destroy the relationship with my sad topic of discussion. He listened and asked questions to get me to open up more. It made me feel seen. I have spent the better part of a month in a depressive episode trying to 'snap out of it' trying to fix my depression on my own with exersise and surface level socialising, and never asking for help not even from my therapist or family. I'm still nervous to talk to my therapist about how I've been feeling because I dont want to be regressing but im not going to get better unless I talk about the things I don't want to talk about.

Re: Im a burden

therising — Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:23:45 GMT

Hi M_aggie

I'm glad you felt a weight lifted when talking with your friend. I think sometimes when we open up more we can be led to consider things we've never really considered before. For example, we could say to a friend 'I just feel so empty'. That friend could ask 'How do you feel empty?', which can lead us to the answer/revelation 'There's just nothing of real substance filling me up in life'. We can discover to some degree what the emptiness is about, when talking things out with someone.

Maybe it's worth mentioning to your therapist that you don't want to feel yourself going backwards. Perhaps they can lead you to see things from a different perspective. Kind of like 'In some sessions we're going to go back in time, in order to identity key points that can offer you reasons for why you think, feel and act in the ways you do'. In other words, it can be about gaining knowledge through hindsight (looking back). While we didn't have a therapist/guide with us at the time such events took place, now we do while revisiting them. We've got someone to help us make better sense of things and how they impacted us. I can relate to your apprehension, as I'm not a fan of going back in time (in my mind) to things I'd rather forget. Sometimes it's about gaining a sense of release from those things or a sense of liberation. Some things can definitely keep us captive in a certain mindset.

M_aggie, by the way, there are times where I've re-read some of my posts and thought 'Yep, that doesn't make much sense to me either😂. I don't know where the heck I was coming from'. Either I don't paint a clear enough picture, which makes it hard to imagine what I'm talking about, or I get so lost in what I'm saying to the point where I'm just all over the place😁.

Suicidal

M-aggie — Thu, 13 Aug 2026 01:44:24 GMT

I am suicidal, I don't know how to stop these thoughts. I thought it only happened if I wasnt productive and didn't look after myself but this morning I got up, had breakfast, did some art, started my laundry, brushed my teeth. I got halfway to the gym and the thoughts just started building up until I started crying. I cry all the time it seems. I do therapy, I take anti depressants, idk what to do anymore, i just want to be normal functioning member of society