Exhausted and It's my fault

SilverBunny — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 10:24:08 GMT

It's so awful to have all the pressures of my own mistakes piling up on me. I'm awful for procrastinating, but even more so when I know that I'm spiralling. In a way, my diagnosis has only served to make me worse and give me something to blame my inability to work on. I pushed all my work back, now I have two days to get it all done and I'm stuck in this awful state of paralysis-- I'm here, writing this, instead of working. I might be using this as a further obstacle to keep myself from just getting into it and getting it done. I'm so scared of failing that I just don't try, and now I just can't. I want to apologise to my poor mother who worked so hard at a thankless job to pay my fees, and I'm just throwing away that hard work. I'm trying to get on top of it. I really am. It's al I've ever wanted to do, but I just feel this crushing weight on top of me. I feel sick to my stomach whenever I get an email, worrying that my course providers have finally gotten sick of my poor attendance and my rare submissions and decided to remove me from the course. I did it to myself. I convinced myself it could wait and I would be fine and now I'm out of time. Please excuse my tragic venting and thank you for listening.

Re: Exhausted and It's my fault

white knight — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 12:11:10 GMT

Hi welcome

You have every reason to feel overwhelmed.

Its a good move to post here to get other opinions, and its clear to me where you need guidance.

PERSPECTIVE- say you and mum are at a park, she gives you money to buy lunch. Upon your return you trip and fall, ruining the food. Guilt arrives because your mum has lost $30. You cry. She consoles you. She gives you more money and you have lunch. During lunch birds feed off the food on the ground. Lessons learned-

Humans make mistakes
Your best is good enough
You allowed mum to rest while at the shop- you're a good person
You both fed the birds

All these fact have a positive importance. But positivity is a frame of mind as is worry and motivation. How do you get it? Once you become positive you'll never return. Every negative has a positive but you have to find it- eg you fed the birds. Humour also has its benefits.

You can use time weekly to focus on how to motivate yourself.

Google these, just read the first post

Beyondblue worry worry worry

Beyondblue the best praise youll ever get

Beyondblue 30 minutes can change your life

Google - prem rawat maharaji YouTube... he has many videos including - sunset, all is well, the perfect instrument... watch one daily.

Im impressed how youre so appreciative of your mum. Little thankyous like a note left in the fridge is enough to show it. Also try to be realistic, if you've done your best and cant follow through with education, life demands you be kind to yourself.

Friends come and go

Like the ocean ebb and flows

But your wisdom piles up

It will only grow

You are special and its true

Believe, you're true blue

You will be golden to kids too

Like how your mum is to you

Reply anytime

TonyWK

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Exhausted and It's my fault

Re: Exhausted and It's my fault