topic Re: Life in Depression

Life

Guest_01509113 — Mon, 04 May 2026 09:36:58 GMT

my name is Jono I'm 44 I have 3 children and 1 grand daughter. I feel I have lost my direction in life I love my family dearly.but I'm extremely isolated I feel there is no return from my addiction I'm not sure how I'm going to get back up to live a good life for my kids .

Re: Life

white knight — Tue, 05 May 2026 00:32:18 GMT

Hi Jono

As you'd know addiction usually needs professional support, group meeting and the like. Will power alone doesnt work but your awareness is a really positive mark of progress so well done there.

Some people have a passion usually inbuilt from childhood. Eg I had model planes. Such passions when people dont have one life can present issues. With a passion one is focussed intensely on it so you're distracted from life's problems plus you have the excitement of doing it.

Two potential issues- you need to spend money on a passion and a passion is usually a natural thing. Do you have a passion?

The other likelihood is depression and once treated properly you wont believe the difference it can make. See your GP.

Finally, your family members. Try to accept how valuable you are to them. With depression/feeling isolated its natural to feel under valued or unloved when its usually an elusion. I can recall in one of my low times my wife yelling "its in your head Tony, its not real, we love you". It wasnt long after my retirement.

Has any of this made sense Jono? Your thoughts?

Im here daily, reply anytime.

TonyWK

Re: Life

BlueLily — Fri, 08 May 2026 11:52:38 GMT

Hi Juno,

Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear what you are going through.

Raising three kids must have taken an enormous amount of your time, energy, and care. Are they more independent now or living away from home? I wonder if that shift might be contributing to why you’re feeling a bit lost at the moment.

A close friend of mine has been going through something similar. She put her career on hold to focus on raising her child, and now that her child is a teenager and busy with studies and friends, she’s started to feel quite isolated. Even though they still live together, she realised that for years she had prioritised everyone else and lost touch with her own interests and identity. She didn’t even know what hobbies or passions she wanted to pursue anymore, so it felt like having to rediscover herself from scratch. It’s been a gradual process, but little by little she’s finding things that bring her joy and purpose again.

So please don’t feel pressured to have everything figured out immediately. These transitions can take time, and rebuilding a sense of self often happens slowly.

Regarding the addiction and depression, White Knight has already shared some really valuable information. But if you’d ever like to talk more or need additional support or resources, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Take care..

Re: Life

therising — Sat, 09 May 2026 03:42:16 GMT

Hi Jono

I think a lot can depend on our recovery (of our life) beyond an addiction. The type or nature of the addiction, being able to identify the lead up to it or the influences, what it offers us in the form of relief or excitement, our nature and so many other things. Support, guidance, much needed revelations, a greater understanding of our emotions, a sense of direction and sense of self etc are also factors that can determine how we move forward. Who we become beyond the addiction can definitely determine how new and old relationships are formed and reformed, which can include the relationship we have with ourself.

Being a mum to a 20yo son and 23yo daughter, I can relate to who we want or need to become for our kids being a major driving force for change at times. I can also relate to how certain mental health challenges and even some soul destroying challenges can lead us to adopting a habit that becomes an addiction. While that which brings us relief or a high may begin as innocent, before we know it it's become a habit we just can't let go of for a number of reasons. Sometimes it's about not knowing how to live without it or feel without it or function without it. The number or skills or abilities needing to be adopted and developed can be plenty. Learning to live without that which we are addicted to can herald a time in our life that is about a monumental level of self understanding and self development.

Feeling the desperate need to move forward free from an addiction is incredibly significant. This driving force is often the thing that pushes us onto a path of change. With the push, we land our first step on that path. I should add that while we may still struggle with the addiction to begin with (on this new path), the purpose of the path is to open our mind to everything needed for change.