topic Re: Constant empty feeling in Depression

Constant empty feeling

lost_echo — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 08:57:46 GMT

recently i finished my hsc and went travelling for a couple weeks before returning back home. during the periods of study, exams and travelling, my mind was very occupied with the things i had to do that in a way i was able to avoid the constant voices in my head and the numbing feeling of depression. however, now that im back, i feel like i have fallen back into a pit and the waves of depression has returned. i have been dealing with mdd for over 3 years now and i feel like every year it gets worse and worse but i dont want to get hospitalised so i never really go into detail of the thoughts that play in my head constantly. these days i have just been feeling extremely low and listless. while people my age are thinking about their uni lives, i'm here literally just living because i have to. i know its just my depression but i have nihilism and everything just seems so useless, especially with all the global events occurring at the same time, it makes me lose faith in humanity and purpose to continue the existence of humans. that's not to say all humans are bad, it's just that the majority worldly leaders of earth who makes society, the economic and the overall functioning of the earth is doing a really crappy job and to imagine that im going to be a part of that workforce in a couple years is daunting. i just want everything to be over so that i can be free and escape this life. i wish an asteroid hits earth all humans can be free together.

Re: Constant empty feeling

Guest_71871833 — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 11:56:49 GMT

It can be really difficult to stay moving without a goal, even one thrust upon you by others, such as the HSC. But goals can be really useful for providing a purpose, or a pathway to a purpose, for one's life. Now that you have completed school, what are your goals? I have seen from personal experience that the pursuit of excellence and a life of service to others, as a couple of examples, can be very fulfilling. There is great happiness to be gained from helping others, without the possibility of repayment or recognition. Helping others is also a well known method to help with depression. I wish you the best on your journey. Please know that you are not alone.

Re: Constant empty feeling

therising — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 17:57:07 GMT

Hi lost_echo

I feel so deeply for you as you face the mental, physical and emotional experience of re-turning or turning again toward that which challenges you so much.

Being able to feel the things which we're turning to again can come with so many challenges. As the list of questions can develop, it can feel like mental torture as opposed to us being pushed to analyse the hell out of life and ourself, so that we can connect more with what feels like heaven on earth. The questions can get pretty deep at times, that's for sure. Stuff along the lines of

Why am I here (on this earth)?
Why do I suffer so much at times?
What is my purpose?
How can I experience fulfillment of some kind?
Why does the world appear to be so brutal and intolerable at times?
What are all these emotions I'm experiencing and why am I experiencing them?

and the list goes on and on, the deeper we go. It's definitely far from easy, gaining all the answers or reaching all the revelations we need to reach, when we're exploring much of that alone.

I've found one of the best reasons for finding a fellow explorer can involve finding someone other than the nihilist in our head, someone other than our inner stresser, inner brutal critic, inner whatever (that tortures us). Externally, we can find people who are guides or leaders of what it is that we need to be guided towards or led to. Externally, we can find those who are visionaries or master 'feelers', people who inspire the kinds of visions we need to be seeing and those who inspire feelings we need to be feeling. They can also bring to life the parts of us we need to be hearing. When we re-turn to a life where there is no one to help us see, feel or hear in all the 'right' ways, inevitably we can only see, feel and hear what's 'wrong' much of the time. To come to our senses, as a highly sensitive person, it pays to find people who can show us how to become masters of sensing in ways that are going to serve us.

While it may not necessarily help, I heard a very different perspective on the state of the world fairly recently. This person mentioned how in order for things to change, they must first come to light or have light shed upon them (so that they become more obvious). With so much that's wrong with the world coming to light now, this is a major shifting point in the world that is preceding much needed change. So, while we can feel all that's wrong, we can also feel ourself on the verge of change at the same time. There are people working toward making some of those changes as we speak. Whether we join them or support them in some way is another story. Perhaps this points towards your calling. Maybe your calling is more of a soulful nature.

Re: Constant empty feeling

Jessica_Cloud — Mon, 15 Dec 2025 04:19:32 GMT

I read that a sense of emptiness can be because of childhood emotional neglect. If that is so, then maybe getting in touch with your emotional needs might help. Start with making choices about things you want to do. What to eat for dinner, what hobby to fill your free time. Choose things that might give you a sense of ‘doing it for me’ or ‘I choose me’. Be a bit selfish as the antidote to feeling empty.

Re: Constant empty feeling

Guest_10200 — Mon, 15 Dec 2025 09:13:40 GMT

hi lost_echo

just reading what you've said there are many aspects that have resonated with my past. I guess what ive found with depression and this feeling of complete numbness is that though travelling provides a sense of escape for a shortened period when you I guess physically return to ur home u also return back to old habits your own lifestyle and especially as we approach holidays/in holidays sometimes it can feel as though we arent really doing anything/lying around dwelling in our thoughts. and though in the moment u have these people who are supporting u it feels like you cant really feel that and it rlly rlly truly hurts and sucks however you are worth SO MUCH. we never really truly grasp our worth until I guess its "gone" or in a sense we grapple with this idea of "what if we were gone". however though during that really low time I didnt really thinking much about it and was generally numb to these feelings, now looking back there are genuinely many many reasons to live for. living can be hard so hard given the pressures to succeed in high school and balance relationships and friendships and parents expectations. though i dont exactly know you nor do u know me i want to send out my love and reiterate that your life is worth so so much and its going to be SO hard to overcome these periods of very low lows, however it is also ur bodies indicator that you need rest, you need to be taking care of yourself, and something in u ur mindset lifestyle or something must be changed for you to feel something, to feel better. and whoever you are I am rooting you on and truly wish you the best because I know how it feels to feel like everyone is moving quickly in their lives, however you are not alone and I see you and I believe you.

Re: Constant empty feeling

lost_echo — Sun, 04 Jan 2026 07:00:49 GMT

thank you

Re: Constant empty feeling

Jessica_Cloud — Mon, 05 Jan 2026 22:48:04 GMT

Hi Lost Echo, how are you? Has anything shifted for you? Have you tried any changes? I would love to hear from you.

Re: Constant empty feeling

lost_echo — Sun, 01 Feb 2026 11:54:04 GMT

I guess recently I've been trying to shift my mindset and do what I can do rather than focusing on things out of my control. It basnt changed the fact that i would choose to die if given the chance to and it pops up every now and then but it doesn't bother me as much it used to.

Nowadays I'm more consumed by not knowing what the next step is. Because my trauma has affected me so much in ways thati didn't realise before educating myself, I've realised a lot of my behaviours and tendencies root from it but despite having this knowledge, I don't know what to do with it. I don't know how to get better. If course I know that therapy, meds and lifestyle changes are necessary but knowing myself, I would defibrillator benefit from a more intense treatment like IOPs but I don't have that time and I don't want to skip out on my studies, particularly as I'm started uni so soon. I also don't think my parents would understand why I can't just do therapy and I feel bad for making them pay, residual since IOPs are more expensive.

I'm kinda just stuck in a dilemma on what I should do next...

Re: Constant empty feeling

sbella02 — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 04:49:55 GMT

Lost_echo,

Thank you for posting here, welcome to the forums and I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.

When you've felt it before, it is easy to slip into that pit of depression, and it's even easier to entertain the thoughts that come with that, so it makes sense that you're feeling like this now that you're back. Depression has a way of doing that - sometimes it'll leave us alone if we're busy doing other things, then it'll come right back when we have a spare moment to think. That's how we get into these spirals.

Are you still seeing a psychologist or therapist, or a regular GP? It may help to have some regular support while you're dealing with MDD so you firstly don't have to do it alone, but that you can also equip yourself with the tools to deal with it when it reappears.

As for some short-term advice, I have a few things to say.

I think my perspective has been similar in the past, but I'd like to say something that really, really helped me to reframe what I was thinking. On the premise that there are terrible global events and world leaders, climate change is taking over, and the workforce sucks, I'll give you two examples of different ways to look at this world:

"So, what's the point if nothing really matters? I might as well give up so I don't have to be a part of it."

"So, what's the point if nothing really matters? I might as well pursue whatever I want to do!"

You've said that you have a nihilistic view of the world, which I take to mean that you believe that life is meaningless. To me, if life is meaningless, that means that we essentially get to give it our own meaning. It's like being given a blank book that we get to write. I find great purpose in that.

Of course it may be hard to see the world like this, especially in the midst of depression, but it could be something to think about. If nothing truly matters, why not do what I want to do, as long as it's not hurting anyone?

If you're feeling particularly low and do want to try and see things more from this view, these questions might be good to think about:

What have you enjoyed doing in the past that you'd love to do more of?
What makes you feel most alive?
What were some things you enjoyed doing when you were really young?
As a child, where did you see yourself going, and what steps can you take to achieve that vision now?

I really hope this helps give you a bit of hope and reassurance. Remember that we're here to support you and listen if you wanna chat some more.

Take care, SB

Re: Constant empty feeling

sbella02 — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 04:55:21 GMT

Lost_echo,

I've just read your last post in this thread, and I have a few things to add.

There are low-cost therapy options that you can look into - there are some universities that have psychology or counselling placements where Masters students will run sessions. It may also be useful to chat to your GP and they might be able to recommend some low-cost therapy options that are local to you. I would imagine that your university may also offer free counselling sessions during the semester that may be good to look into as well.

The benefit of university counselling services is that they can also help you to balance your studies so you can make time to access counselling, therapy, or psychology services.

I hope this helps some more.