topic My third last post too... in Depression

My third last post too...

Jaibigrone907 — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 09:24:06 GMT

My parent's, I consider them so dumb. Their not realistic, they have given up on their kid's, they don't normalise us to have a future, or be active and live life. They cause argumentative issues for me, social countertransference's. My father is selfish, and his pathetic, but keeps to himself, behind the T.V.. His a useless tyrant parent. He contributed against my creativity, since 2009. I love my Mother absolutely, but my Dad's careless, and self centred.

I have no work direction. I am 29 now, and I have no suitable work direction, or any great opportunities. I don't want entry job's, like retail, sales, factory, hospitality. I don't want to work a construction, do a apprenticeship, traineeship, any TAFE certificates either. I don't have any University careers I'm interested in. I am not a study person, and I don't have a Year 12 VCE and a ideal ATAR too.I never wanted to do construction, any apprenticeships, or traineeships, and I knew that, even when I was a 8 year old, it's not my breed of masculinity, and I don't like their tradie personality, values, and character. The government also only encourages the courses, that most don't want to do. If they offer any free ones, their only for the shitter qualifications, that no one wants. I never had my driving too, and we had just one vehicle at home, that only my mother was using, and that car was nearly too screwed to drive back then, and not worth spending money on it's frequent maintenance repairs, that my father was barely affording. My mother couldn't guarantee, if she could take me to any job's, the cost of petrol, and wither she needs to use the car, if my brother needed it too. I never had a resume written and solid help with that.

Re: My third last post too...

Croix — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 12:19:17 GMT

Dear Jaibigrone907~

Welcome back. I can see over your previos posts life has been difficult and you do not have great faith in conventional diagnoses or treatments. I don't think you are alone there.

You do seem to list a lot of conventional aspirations such as Year 12 VCE and a ideal ATAR, uni qualifications and a firm direction in which you want to go in a job.

Frankly I think you may be judging yourself by the wrong things. True a driving license may be one of those things you really do need - but as a means to an end.

You have talked very little about the other side of you, the non-blokey artistic side. You briefly mentioned music, but did not say a lot other than a previous genre might be something you relate to.

Most people's lives are not everything they wished, however with ingenuity, and a sense of balance one can often get more than one anticipated. OK, so you might have to do something to keep Centerlink happy, but that is only part of your life. Becoming proficient and creative in music - or any other creative field - can take up an awful lot of your attention, and may be something you enjoy.

In this sort of area academic qualifications may be irrelevant, communication with people though the media of your choice more important. Tom Cruize does OK, in the arts, and just to mix things up, Richard Branston stood out the business world. The Godfather Trilogy wold never have existed without people who has always put art first.

Perhaps if you saw artistic milestones and found your abilities to achieve them the world might become more comfortable place

Croix

Re: My third last post too...

Jaibigrone907 — Wed, 12 Feb 2025 02:06:51 GMT

I am thankful for your reply, Croix. I was hoping for feedback, more with the post I made, about the 21st Century, it was one of the three, that I just uploaded on here.

Other than that, there's so many troubles for me. It's not just disliking my generation, and so much I've notice about the world's changes, since after 2012. I don't like Andrew Tate, and how the generations are more degenerate, judgemental, trivial, superficial, hypocritical. I feel the world's too Americanized now, you can't be a misfit, your rejected as a hipster, and if your Americanized, your a poser seemingly.

I'm just sick of this world, trying to make me, the weird person, being alienated. If your awkward, because you don't have the social skills, to be unnatural, fake and superficial, not liking small talk, and humorous banter, or having to think, the world's funny, or reassure any good vibes. I notice all these differences, with the current world.

It's my spirituality. I am wrongly diagnosed with Schizophrenia, because it was my destructive choices, that happened more than ten years ago. I hate having to live with pre diabetes, stretch marks and no gallbladder, especially because, this only happened, because of the detrimental pharmaceuticals. I am not even compensation, they can't even have the decency, to acknowledge and say, if it's unfortunate, or show any remorse, which re-affirms my awareness, their not nobel samaritans, caring about disdain patients, their only working for their abundant salaries primarily, and applying their undiagnosed narcissism. The spirituality that I have, it happens through my conscious nature, my mind, through technology, wither it's recorded videos or live streamers. It occurs through my interactions, through even video games, there's just such diversity to the spirituality, and I can't alleviate from it. I get the Indonesian-Asian Psychologist who I had to briefly meet, She sais if I'm Whiter, if I'm different, she's laughing about me, she sais about socio economics, she sais if I'm original, if I'm authentic, friendlier, about being true, if she wasn't rare. I know she's generalising my, if I'm violent or about being a White Supremacist.

I miss the 2000's, for many reasons. I am sick of how social censorship is taking over the world. The way everything's controversial or taboo. This even contributes against creativity, not just technology and online video games, the generations principles and their normalised ethic, a world where being soft hearted, there's too much lack of courtesy, and it's more a stoic separation, being beta, and alpha men. Also now, not having humility, diverse acceptance, no accountability, everyone's always innocent. Too many try to be, historians, Politician's, Psychiatrist's, or police, with their own ego, towards intelligence, or they try to be in powerful positions of authority, with their judgements, and when their not even educated, licenced, or registered, but at the same time, it's abusive, that someone becomes wrongly considered flawless, or dominates their thinking, values, or ethnic clash chemistry, against another person. You can't be GENUINE anymore, people only handle their own truth, or the mainstream consensus. People only agree with you mostly, or partially, but never entirely.

If I know myself, with what's called intrapersonal knowledge, but the next person is convinced, to when their trying to critise you, if they believe rumours, or create lies and spread more. Too many exacerbate people's lives, and to me the world's not encouraging or praising, their only defeating, wrongly defining your intelligence, and diminishing esteem, their not contributing to confidence.

I agree with Jordan Peterson, on and off, but it's how, when your creative, your always overthinking. But to me, they don't let you convey your intelligence, unless your a P.H.D. or with famous status. I feel society want's your IQ under 80, unless your favourtised, or bribed through University, to pursue a certain Marxist, or with family imposed career expectations, because their otherwise feel threatened, and want success for just themselves.. To me, you can't have broaden vocabulary, because people think your dyslexic, when your only actually literate, and they make you as awkward, that it's not the 1930's-1950's, wither your being Whiter, and there's one name, they commonly use too. People oppress your capacity, and they get jealous or think your a arrogant narcissist, whose only trying to be smarter. I'm sick of people's ignorance, where everything's a argumentative scenario, because they can't be informed, and they talk more, than they listen. They want to always be the teachers, and not the students. To me the majority are mediocre, with average toxicology.

Re: My third last post too...

Croix — Fri, 14 Feb 2025 12:17:56 GMT

Dear Jaibigrone907~

I would have liked to reply to your last post, and in fact made a couple of trials, but kept becoming confused. I'm afraid I simply can't handle a post of that length with so much in it.

I expect it is a failing in my own abilities to concentrate. I found your first post was a managabe lenght and was able ot reply.

Could you do me a favor and make you next post very much shorter please? About the length of your first one - or even a bit shorter than that - with only one or two points would be great

Thanks

Croix

Re: My third last post too...

Jaibigrone907 — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 09:15:06 GMT

Hey Croix, thanks for your reply. I will keep that in mind, my next post will only have one or two points, as you would prefer.

Re: My third last post too...

Croix — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 12:53:33 GMT

Dear Jaibigrone907~

Many thanks, I'll be interested to see what you have to say

Croix

Re: My third last post too...

Jaibigrone907 — Sat, 22 Feb 2025 15:23:18 GMT

The main issue that's bothering me. I already know about my misdiagnosis, and how I've been ruined by the their enforced Psychiatry pharmaceuticals.

It's bad enough knowing, how in my opinion. Psychiatry is a Pseudo-Science, based off, only presumed symptoms, otherwise exaggerated hypothesis. Their a industry of involuntary, detrimental pharmaceuticals, that are not natural remedies, safe supplements, or credible medications. The shrink therapist's, are undiagnosed narcissist's, their not nobel samaritans, and their only working for their abundant salaries. They possess no empathy or emotional intelligence usually, they even are bystanders to senseless security guards, who assault and bash ward patients, who refuse injections. They try to be a extension to the police force, and while they treat your intelligence as superficial, as they hypocritically generalise patient's, based off their first impression, stigma or stereotypes. Their not even experts, it's social audacity, to claim only 1% of society is wrongly diagnosed. When you get other qualified therapist's, that can respectively disagree, and have their own educated theories. No one can be the expert, to complex strangers, that none of them know well, love or care about. Their just superficial consultations, that yo use a few times a year, and they don't care about any. If you have emotional intelligence, they treat you as having Autism, or if your creative, because their too analytical to conceive it. If you have intelligence, without being a P.H.D. or Masters academic, they treat you as being with Asperger's, despite no cure, or true treatment, they give drugs regardless. They bully their own values, Marxist, and secularised philosophies against anyone, who may hold religiosity. Their criminal, when their meds cause Diabetes, Alzheimer's, Dementia, Parkinson's, Tardive Dyskinesia, Stretch marks, Morbid weight gain, Cardiovascular heart issues, or heart attack's to 60 year old patients, they also cause cerebrovascular adverse events, including aneurysms. Their a industry that provides, no compensation, and they bribe judges, or pay for better lawyers, to oppose patient's malpractice, injustices. They only care about their peer acceptance, and vanity, to their superficial reputation, to keep their employable longevity, One victim, or the next ten losers, can't define their selfish motives. They answer Quora questions, but they don't directly answer, they word themselves in a way, that's just wasting time to read, but makes them seem reassuring, it's just their image, to keep people going to see them. Only 30% of the world is victimized by them, so imagine how rich they would otherwise be, if even more, since 70% of the world wide, don't seek therapy. They try acting the one generation of drugs are better, ones more causing muscle and stiffness issues, and mental memory or brain reduction problems, and the others causing obesity, diabetes, and fatty liver.

Now I have the spirituality, that's something mixed with the Psychiatry therapist's, and the American's. I'm bothered everyday, haunted and reminded, & bullied in numerous ways, and since the world's Democratic & Atheist-Agnostic, none believe in truth, I waste my time, trying to say.

I just get told I'm different, they laugh about me, talk against my intelligence, say if I'm Whiter, and other thing's. I shouldn't have to be absorbing, the unwanted opinions, by them, or any random people.

Re: My third last post too...

Jaibigrone907 — Sat, 22 Feb 2025 17:01:17 GMT

Also, I am wanting to apologies. We just had spoken about keeping my post's brief. I shouldn't have rambled that long, so I'm saying sorry, just to clarify.

Re: My third last post too...

Croix — Sun, 23 Feb 2025 13:00:45 GMT

Dear Jaibigrone907~

Well it is a bit shorter than the last one, so I guess you are on the right track:)

While I can see yo have had a very bad time I think maybe it has influenced you more than it might. You are undoubtedly w=right that some clinicians and specialists may indeed be more influence by money than empathy I don't beleive it to be true of all in the medical profession.

As an example I was on a public psych ward and having a hard time, often due to the condition of some of the other patients, quite upsetting. I found that experence very hard.

Then a nurse, who was not one tasked with looking after me, went home and came back with a whole load of his own books which he gave me. He had found just the sort that helped greatly at the time, juvenile fiction, and I spent my hours lost in a world with happy endings and villains getting their just deserts.

Sadly I never saw him again to thank him, it was in fact that act of kindness that did the most good of the stay.

I'd also have to say that you should be listened to. A psych may have an hour to get to know you, you have had a lifetime and are the expert on you. You may at time be mistaken, I think everyone can be, however your views should be listened to seriously.

There is one part of your post I'm not sure I understand, you mention

"Now I have the spirituality, that's something mixed with the Psychiatry therapist's, and the American's."

Could you say a little😉 more about that?

Croix

Re: My third last post too...

Jaibigrone907 — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 16:42:18 GMT

There's no point for me. I try talking about what I am experiencing, and I'm just treated as being mental, crazy, or weird. What's the point of me trying to explain it all, when no one will believe what I'm going through, and try to only believe, in their Atheist-Agnostic philosophies. I know to anyone, that hears all this, their just thinking I'm indenyl with Schizophrenia, but it's not the same thing, as what that is.

Their always telling me, or to someone else, about how it's a different culture, and about the politics. Even when I know, my belief's are American culture, their the same country people, trying to tell me, that their a different culture, and say if I'm more British or Canadian.

They show me pictures of video games, and I know it's how their bullying me, especially when they mention about the American Elliot Rodger idiot.

There's the religious experiences, when I'm told about being like Elijah, Jeremiah, Moses or Isaiah, being a disciple.

I'm sick of this, because the spirituality started randomly in 2021, then I was argued into hospital, because I had my mother telling my GP. I know how it's all a tragic misunderstanding, but then, since I had my diagnosis already, from years before. He was arguing, that he was concerned, and I was sent to the Catt Team, than had no choice after that. I have nothing against the GP, but it's how I have to go through all this, knowing that it's unbelievably, spirituality, and not Schizophrenia, while I'm never going to be given compensation, or undiagnosed.

Re: My third last post too...

Croix — Thu, 27 Feb 2025 12:34:26 GMT

Dear Jaibigrone907~

Rather than saying there is no point perhaps there is a point - that you know and believe in yourself. A good starting point with which to try to gently ease others into a different impression of you.

Cultures are different, and many in Australia do have an atheist or agnostic view, however that should not mean they do not respect the religions of others and jump to clinical conclusions wihtout first thinking the matter over.

I'd have thoght being compared to those like Elijah, Jeremiah, Moses or Isaiah, being a disciple is comparing you to those many people hold in deep regard, even if not always in their own day.

I did not know they made a game about Elliot Roger -it sounds terrible. I've no idea why they should want to show it to you.

Do you mind if I asked why your mother contacted the GP? I'm sure it could have been out of concern for you, however there may have been some things you did or said she did not understand or disturbed her.

Croix

Re: My third last post too...

Jaibigrone907 — Fri, 28 Feb 2025 04:27:30 GMT

I can tell you, about my spirituality, it's quite in-depth.

I don't want any of it, but I can't control what society is doing, since it's not a mental illness.

I have random people connecting through, telling me anything, and I have to receive their emotions, and differences, they talk to me directly, or about me. I even had one random guy, who I could hear, He was saying if he would maybe bash me. It can also be celebrities and their music that's put in my mind, it's too diverse.

I can see pictures alter with detail, and it's not believed, unless anyone could be able to experience it. I notice how thing's appear, or how the picture changes in general.

It can be player names, in video games, and how their reflecting about me, mostly with my Psychiatry situation. I can even show you a picture, of the first player name, why would anyone be named like this, and how it's correlated to my situation, and it's not superstitious, it's real.

The most annoying thing I have with my spirituality. I a Psychologist. She is always laughing about me, talking against my intelligence, telling me that I'm different, because she only accepts herself. She tells me that she regards higher values, and she's trying to use vanity, and tell me about economics. She does money hand gestures, to symbolise to me, how it's about the money. She puts her fingers close together, and tries to bully me, when she's judging my intelligence. She tells me how I'm American. If she sais wither I'm Whiter, or about being White. If I'm Western or European, or about being like the Japanese. She can't handle if she's told, about that anything's her Marxist, when I say it isn't mine, or when she tells me about University, when it's not something I want to do. She is trying to domineer her own bias norms, she's basically applying her values to me. I have the awareness, where she's saying she's selfish, or if others say it to her, or if she sais she couldn't give a shit. I see her crying, when she has the moments, where she knows I'm genuine and better. She otherwise gets over angered, and generically tries to say if I'm a Supremacist, about Racism or Fascism. She has no emotional intelligence, and the rest of the time, She sais wither I'm authentic, or when thing's are true, if I'm humble, pure, friendlier, better. She sais wither she contributed to society, if I'm useless.

She's been bullying me everyday. She's connected through me all day, So I can't actively think, and try to commit to my day, or write any notes.

Re: My third last post too...

Croix — Sat, 01 Mar 2025 12:16:16 GMT

Dear Jaibigrone907~

It is very difficult to see and hear changes you cannot point out to others. If it is any comfort there are communities of people that 'hear voices' and they manage well, even those those voices are personal to them. They do not regard thier condition as an illness, just the way they are.

I'm not a doctor and have no way to pass any sort of comment on this other than I believe there are these communities. If it bears any relation to you seeing things change I've no idea, maybe I'm drawing a false parallel.

What I'd be more certain about is that your account of your psychologist indicates you do no have the best relationship as she has different views that in no way take your personal experiences into account.

A more open approach might suit you better.

Croix