topic Re: How should I handle it? in Depression

I see the world for what it really is.

BabySteps — Mon, 25 Mar 2024 14:42:44 GMT

I have to accept that after my mothers gone, That I only will have my twin brother and that everyone else is vain and brief. I know that no one cares but also that the world is socially superficial and in general your made to feel like a second class citizen if your under certain diagnoses. I absolutely can't live in a world if I can't be genuine or authentic. If anyone tells me what to think. I can't exist in a seemingly vain, fake world.

I hate living in a world where you can't truthfully be confident with being who you are. Everyone is fully embracing the current decade or the way things are, People bully you for any reason and you can't choose the generation your from or anything else. I am tired of being who I am and made to feel wither I'm weird, not only did I not ask for the opinion of anyone else but I don't want to be generic or defined by anyone else. I had to miss out on my dreams to pursue identity and chase my interests & I blame the degeneracy and insecurity of potential people in society as one huge factor. It's also mixed with being discriminated and defined beneath a psychiatry diagnosis that I don't agree with and also my suffering during high school. I had all that on top of my own under confidence and insecurities.

I hate how the world has always made people feel less valuable than celebrities just because their financially rich and with global popularity, regardless of what kind of person that famous individual is inside or what their reputation is. A regular person can't be confrontational because if their regular their not being sane.

Re: I see the world for what it really is.

therising — Mon, 25 Mar 2024 19:11:07 GMT

Hi BabySteps

I feel for you so deeply, given how challenging this world is and how deeply you feel those challenges. I believe, to be insensitive in this world is relatively easy, based on not feeling all that much. To be sensitive, on the other hand, is a whole different story. I've found, with being a sensitive person, to sense differently or strategically is the key to managing at times.

Over the years, I've come to take much of what can be depressing in this world and kind of flip it in order to recognise the insanity behind these things. To offer a handful of examples:

If we can sense what's depressing, what's stressful, what's angering etc and we have people saying 'You're too sensitive, you need to toughen up' (grrr😡), isn't that kind of insane? Wouldn't it be more logical for all the highly insensitive people to come to their senses (become more sensitive)? Then they'd be able to sense the need for compassion, fairness, a more open mind and so on. Doesn't seem right that all the work should be left up to sensitive people. Hmmm🤔
With the behaviour of school or work place bullies, their behaviour is highly questionable. How, in any way, is it normal, acceptable or sane for people to take joy in other people's ongoing sufferance? Shouldn't someone be getting to the bottom of their behaviour while leading them to reform the way they think and the way they behave? Wouldn't the sane action involve mandatory counseling or, in extreme cases, expulsion (so that those who never asked to be bullied can be left in peace)?
Back in the day when people earned a respectable living, doing an honest day's work, this was something to be proud of. If you worked in retail, worked as a kitchen hand or a cleaner, worked shoveling dirt out of ditches or as a taxi driver etc etc, you could feel proud of yourself for your hard work. Things have changed. Tell people that you do one of these jobs and they may look at you as though you're a 2nd class citizen. A job that once earned you respect, which can now get you the least respect in certain circles, is stay at home parent. Some parents fear telling people that's what they do because they fear the judgement. The world has become insane and it's hard not to take it personally. Every job has value

BabySteps, while as a 53yo woman I sit here with my pink hair while on the verge of returning to a job I took a year off from (the job of kitchen hand in an aged care facility), I can imagine I'm worthless. I tick a lot of boxes when it comes to a lack of social value. I'm a middle aged woman who's a bit weird (happily weird, btw). I was unemployed for just over a year (while facing a number of challenges over that year, including looking after my aging parents). I'm a kitchen hand and someone who works hard to kick butt when it comes to mental health challenges (largely depression). The list goes on when it comes to how certain circles of society grade me or degrade me. It's a long list. What I choose to imagine is that certain circles in society are just downright insane and I'm perfectly normal, perfectly acceptable and perfectly me. No one else can be me as well as I can. Same goes for you too. You are perfectly you and that's something to be proud of. With those who are self righteous to the point where they don't feel they need to use a filter (between their thoughts and what comes out of their mouth), a question worth asking worth asking them at times can be 'Do you know why you feel no need to use a filter in regard to what comes out of your mouth?'. As a sensitive person, I've learned a bit of sass is good for self esteem. 😁

Re: I see the world for what it really is.

BabySteps — Tue, 26 Mar 2024 06:40:29 GMT

Yes and I can't have confidence, because I consider my life ruined and I honestly feel it's murdered. Not only because I'm facing a future with only my twin brother, and how the rest of the world's superficial and brief and vain or typically un friendly, who listens to respond and not to understand. I have no social confidence with society, I had a decade of bullies. I was bullied in kinda garden, primary & high school. I never liked my father and I am always financially stuck with him. He introduced me to his mate who I never liked and my Dad's sister is horrible too. I have been under psychiatry for the last twelve years and I was only diagnosed with schizophrenia because I made poor destructive choices during 2012 - 2014, Only since I was un happy with my life, since I had no direction or money to learn to drive. I was infatuated with a girl too that I could never have. Now I have to live with the stretch marks and diabetes, involuntary meds, medical reviews to drive a vehicle and possibly occupational assessments if I'm forced to have them.

The therapists or the doctors think my existential direction is a reflection of a mental illness or disability that I know I don't even have, that I was mistakenly diagnosed with. I don't want to work factory, do a apprenticeship or work construction. I knew since 16 I don't want University, I am not eligible without VCE or the type for it anyway or interested in any formal conventional careers.

The last time I was forced to go into the ward it was voluntary and I didn't want to go and was trying to argue that I'm fine. When I had to see a random psychaitrist he just said I was abusive, even if he angered me for a legitimate reason and that since I didn't agree with my diagnosis. He extended my time in hospital. The other one I had to see just before that time was telling me that my mother told him things that I know she never would say. It's even pointless to make a complaint in my opnion, it feels like a patient is voiceless, your have no voluntary rights their a delusionary promise.

My life is tragic!

BabySteps — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 04:43:59 GMT

I went through high school being bullied verbally and physically and degraded by different people. Then I knew two of them for the following five years after high school. They ended up agreeing to end the relationship and walk away, narcissistically thinking that their better people and that they have better lives. They never would acknowledge their behaivour and only remember things that were in their advantage, they wouldn't even admit to all the things I could say they did, they would only try to make me some half as bad or just as bad. The other one never even cared about the friendship and on those old activities it was more just something to do.

I have been under psychiatry for the last twelve years. I disagree with being schizophrenic because I know what lead to my diagnoses and why I did my behaviour. I have never had a mental illness and I've never agreed since the start. On top of that I have been diagnosed with pre diabetes since seven years ago. Being allegedly under a label and wrongly medicated for schizophrenia & living with pre diabetes is so much suffering for me, and it's a red flag to not be datable with the opposite sex. The therapist's would otherwise speculate and likely diagnose autism or asperges and I don't agree with that too, I hate being voiceless when I don't want treatment or diagnosis that I don't agree with.

I have always hated my father all my life. He claims he was a sharpie in the 1980's and admitted that he would go searching for homosexual men to assault back in those days. He got $500,000 inheritance and he was a delinquent in his youth. He always made you feel psychologically special and that you couldn't somehow be more than 16 mentally. He uses my diagnosis to just abuse me that if I cook anything, I will burn the house down, that I shouldn't be driving. That I don't want to work, just since I don't have any direction and since a national recession makes job opportunities fewer with my job recruiters. He is critical that I'm soft, inept, weak, pale, dyslexic. His always believed to be smarter than his immediate family. In the past he provokes arguments and my rage and than tells me I'm disabled and get's stand offish and that he will get me locked away in a mental psych ward. I also hate his sister, my aunt, she's a huge narcissist and she try's to make me feel that I'm living day by day and she also bullies my mother as being dumb or making fun of her accent, She sides with my father and goes against.

More suffering.

BabySteps — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 05:06:14 GMT

I consider my father a dead beat. He was never socially involved, praising, encouraging, understanding. He was never genuine love. He was dysfunctional and telling you to shut up, when he couldn't be told the truth or your opinion. He always used to say because he said so with whenever he demanded his way with what to do. I knew since I was 8 in 2003 that I've never wanted my father in my life, I've never cared about him, I just have always wanted the money and to be married and never know my father ever again. I wish he wouldn't know where I live and that I would have no social contact with him. It's only unfortunate because if I was talking to my mother and brother, they would likely tell my Dad things and deny they did so. He also holds grudges and can get jealous for certain rare situations. He has no regard for wither his son's live meaningful and purposeful lives, wither were successful. My parents never encouraged dreams, and my father discriminates me to at least be regular since I have the diagnosis wrong or right. I remember when I was five how he kept trying to get me to love the footy team that he liked and he would not let me have my own taste and opinion. He only understands himself and can't see from another persons perspective. He can always talk about his conflicts and blame them, but never that his also easily un likeable himself.

When I was having my driving lessons. I had to deal with the covid issues and I had to go through numerous driver instructors, Until I was happy with the ones at the very end. I had my permit suspended randomly and for a reason that felt completely dumb. I had to re do the computer learners test. It wasn't until my third O.T. that I really liked who he was. My original O.T. had ignored me for one, not responding to emails, mobile texts or phone calls for a year. She got back in touch just to tell me wither I'm wasting my money, that I wouldn't achieve my licence, or wither I can drive a vehicle. She was defeating and discriminating, intimating and as a occupational therapist she wasn't encouraging for a individual to have their vital independence, even when her show is supposed to help anyone under those circumstances to find their way. One of my old instructors made a lie that I broke his mirror just because we argued the day before and he wanted to get back at me. He also said I was telling him how to drive essentially. I was only believing in my abilities and that I shouldn't have to check the rear view mirror when I can just directly look, with giving way at roundabouts.

The worst thing about all these narcissistic people. They are either in some authority over me or I am greatly dependent on them. All my issues in my life have been from other people, wither it's psychiatrist's, my father, high school, or anyone that was negatively impacting with my driving development.

How should I handle it?

BabySteps — Fri, 29 Mar 2024 16:04:36 GMT

The world is worse then what it used to be, with the cost of absurd living or needing more academic credentials listed on your resume for basic entry job's.

It's even harder to survive when I'm not only marginalised by my generation, century and nationality with wanting to be religious, I'm more internally myself in a world of mainstream bias difference. I feel Australian from what I was raised to appreciate and with certain qualities but I have always felt traditional American hearted. I just can't embody my way in such a modern existing time and it wouldn't matter even if I was from a different time because today the world would be the same world now regardless and I would still be forced to compromise or live socially reserved. I wouldn't though want the older dysfunctional aspects or lack of medical advancements from those past existing times.

I don't like my generation too with their music but also with their possible characteristics. It's not that they don't work amongst themselves, it's just I feel I'm a older heart that would only get bullied or never understood or agreed with. I also think their different with humour and seemingly more illiterate and dyslexic, they think no one has individual thought because were the generation more than rather individually ourselves.

I get frustrated with not only being selectively mute or inept with society or when dealing with people I don't socially like. I enjoy being socially avoidant because either people have changed in radical worse ways. I saw the world under a gloom sense since I had to do high school. I also get angered with having to try to move past high school and all those un wanted relationships that mistreated me and think their better then me. It's even heartbreaking because I have to be on un wanted medication and voiceless and living under a diagnosis that I don't agree with, despite the way my circumstance seems. I have to be dependent on a father I don't love, whose negatively critical and tells me wither I'm disabled or can do anything. I have never tolerated, liked or wanted to understand his personality and his got bad qualities. I don't even care for his upbringing and wither I was 8 or 29 he tried to be the better intelligence, from a psychological, emotional, social and financial overbearing way. His only a year 10 high school education whose been a construction joiner all his life. His only generic in society and he tries to make me feel that his something of sensational feats.

Re: How should I handle it?

james1 — Sun, 31 Mar 2024 09:51:08 GMT

Hello BabySteps,

You sound so isolated and frustrated by the people around you, from family to many parts of society in general. It certainly seems you've had more than your fair share of unfair treatment by people and feel quite angry about that. From what you have said, I understand you would like to fit in somewhere, but haven't been able to find that group of people. I really hope you find a connection that enriches your life, because it sounds like you've been missing that your whole life.

As far as your title question on how to handle all of the challenges you face, I think I might try to answer it in a more general way to start. And if there's anything specific you wanted to focus on, let us know.

I am quite different to most people around me and know it can be very difficult and frustrating to not be able to communicate with people in the way I'd like. In my own experience, the only person who kept losing out was me. Getting angry and frustrated at others just made it worse for me because I would just be stuck being annoyed on my own.

I think there's a lot of value in refocussing on things I like, rather than being consumed by the things I don't. For example, I really like animals and don't really like humans (in general). So even though I can't change others, and I think I'm also very stubborn myself, I can at least fill more of my day with animal related things. It helps make my day better, which improves my overall mood and ability to tolerate people I don't like. Just because I don't think about the things I don't like as much about society doesn't make them or me right. It just means I get less annoyed, which I think is a good thing for my mental health.

James

Re: How should I handle it?

BabySteps — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 04:24:33 GMT

Hi James thanks so much for your response. I have been told before I need to focus on the things I can change, rather than what I can't. I always wonder if I generalise with all the things I resent about what society might be or wither it's specific to the generation. I've seen others that seem the way I do about liking a lot of things about the older times with remembering the 2000's or being interested in the 1980's too. I know I can't really claim someone's good or bad without dealing with them directly or even knowing them for some time. It's more a creative thing in my own thinking to think about a lot of things or be sensitive. I wouldn't want to be diagnosed with autism or asperges because I wouldn't agree and I know it's 100% likely what they would do.

It would be nice to have three friends, but I typically only dreamed to have a ideal marriage. Family was more to me than friends. I'm the kind of person to love my hobbies. Though I can't enjoy a sports event on my own and that's the downside without having a suitable friend for a rarer activity. If I had some conversations here and again over the internet that would be lovely. Especially having more options to turn to for support. I prefer venting on Beyond Blue because being a negative person or talking about problems can drive friends away since their not counsellors or deserve that or expected their next friend would be that way. I've often always felt that people think I need their approval with wither I'm likeable, decent, intelligent, awkward or if I'm controversial for disagreeing with anything mainstream if anything would happen socially, even though I keep quiet because people can't agree to disagree, that also ruins my esteem when I can't argue my opinion and when I'm treated as a idiot or as a beginner and when people think I have to agree with them or a mainstream belief.

I had some really bad problems too earlier in my life. I made poor destructive choices with not intentionally wanting to die, not only because I didn't have direction for work or what I want but because I was younger and overly infatuated with a girl that drove me insane and it got wrongly beneath psychiatry since 2012. I've had pharmaceutical consequences since I was 22, seven years ago I was unfortunately diagnosed with pre diabetes and it just adds a extra stress on top of general life already. Then three years following that I had to have a cholecystectomy and have my gallbladder removed, that's not entirely a huge thing with the gallbladder but it's something extra that makes me feel one less with my health. I also have some belly whiter stretch marks that at times make me a bit angry after I had successfully overcame weight from the older meds I was force to take a decade ago.

It's worse when my father tries to use the diagnosis against me to say wither I'm disabled, Now being 29. I still don't have direction for what I want to do with my life, I ideally want a nutrition degree but I don't have a VCE and I'm mostly not the person to probably study, even achieving a diploma might be a bit beyond my capacity. I generally had a dream to be a hobbyist musician. I just use my father as a excuse since 14 & back then it was still high school bullying that I could blame or wither I generalise society too much. I also wonder why I let that stop me when I only wanted to do music when alone at home anyway.

Re: How should I handle it?

randomxx — Mon, 01 Apr 2024 21:12:39 GMT

Hi op and sorry to hear of where your at.

l'm not going to get into much here as others would be better suited to the sort of things you talk about and problems.

But l'm firstly wondering why you would feel of all things,American , do you realize what shape that country is in and the people. Not to mention it has the highest rate of just about anything, on the planet. Even just their covid stats and crime rate should tell you all that alone.

But what l'm really wondering is why don't you start working on moving out of home. At your age it's wrong to be home and complaining about your dad if you don't like either and your so miserable bc most are out making their own life and world by then , well well before actually. l know there's a housing crisis but if your on disability or working then with some creativity you will be able to make your way. Probably going through a few yrs with little money and struggles at first like most of us do when we leave home, but it comes together as you go.

ps, you might also find your relationship with your da improves to once your out with your own life.

All the best.

Re: How should I handle it?

BabySteps — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 09:14:40 GMT

I've had a lot of issues with the working side of thing's. Since I have left high school I've been with a few job recruiters but they typically don't offer me more than 3 random jobs and otherwise they recommend me to study a certificate. I'm only interested in a Nutrition degree but I've never done a Year 12 VCE from high school and I was so struggling with Year 11 VCE. I only graduated with a Year 12 Foundation VCAL which I'm not proud of. When I go to my job recruiter I'm typically made to feel to try retail, but she feels it may not be suitable for me. I don't want to work sales, hospitality, factory or any construction or apprenticeships. Most of the certificates aren't for me wither it's aged disability or admin, computers or to be a barista. There's nothing to choose, any of the ideal certificates are only more in preparation before you do a diploma to hopefully enter University. I'm getting really concerned about if the entry corporate jobs can't pay good median wages and if I can't do University, because what else is their besides apprenticeships.

I legitimately love music but I just have never had the confidence to actively do that and I always say it's since I dislike my father, if I have to see his sister too. I had high school bullying for a decade too. The diabetes diagnosis and generally being under psychaitry treatment when I don't want too, ruined my esteem by 29. I don't want to identify with my generations music and creativity and I am one of the types to prefer the past.

In terms of the American thing, I don't like so many issues and the societal degeneracy with their country. The only thing I like about American's is their Christianity Religious differences. I hate how I feel like I'm choosing between countries when I am just Australian with un popular silent differences. I'm only the type to keep my faith personal, unless I would have other people of my same interest and that to be around.

Re: How should I handle it?

randomxx — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 10:29:44 GMT

That's great being so interested in nutrition l think you could find a way into that.

My sisters very highly educated so spent a lot of time in the system and when my daughter was disappointed with her results my sister said look don't worry about those there's always a way to get into things.

And she was right , my d found quite a few alternatives actually so don't give up don't rely on the job agencies poke about and search yourself that's what she did she hates them but went back to them once she'd found what she wanted and got them to help her into it. Said you've just gotta get the right person though , often the case with lots of things that. She changed them up until she got someone that actually did something.

There's all kinds of incentives to get you into any of the educational segments to they've offered her all kinds of things, even 5k moving money.

My mum was very religious , l've never been myself but she was involved in all sorts of things with different groups.

Anyway, don't give up.

Re: How should I handle it?

BabySteps — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 11:02:29 GMT

Yeah 100% it's always about the right person, that's why I ended up getting my licence at 26 because I had the right driver instructor and O.T. only at the very end. But before that I had not liked the other teachers and I had a feud with one of my old ones. The first two O.T.'s were not suitable for me either. After a year of being virtually ignored by my original O.T. with emails, mobile texts and phone calls from myself and the older instructor. She discriminated me under the diagnosis and came back only to tell me I won't achieve my licence, what to do and wither I'm wasting my money. Then we spoke to Vic Roads and she told me a O.T. is not suppose to make you feel intimidated, that it was my decision wither I want to continue. The sad thing though too is that I only could actively afford my driving since I have the Centrelink.

Re: How should I handle it?

randomxx — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 11:03:47 GMT

Btw,l wouldn't put so much in anyone's educational reach. Some of the most successful people in the world , billionaires and all sorts, were drop outs or didn't even go to yr 10 yep, were dyslexic, all kinds of things. We've even had a prime minister here that only went to yr 10 and guess what, the say he failed maths but he was treasurer of the country before that so yaknow. My own dad only went to yr 9 but he built 3 business owned property all over Victoria and was one of the smartest men you'd ever meet.

Higher education doesn't always mean clever or above average intelligence matter of fact l've met quite a few that were thick as planks, even my sister said same, not to say all but just sayin.

Re: How should I handle it?

randomxx — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 11:15:23 GMT

Good for you well done eh.

And that was disgusting they'd treated you that way and actually discouraged you. Sadly l've heard that one before but once again, right people and you can achieve anything. Never listen to the other's though if you know in your heart they're wrong and those sorts usually are.

Anyway hang in there where there's a will there's away.

Re: How should I handle it?

BabySteps — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 14:38:08 GMT

That's absolutely true. Your Dad seems really impressive that he has lead a really ideal prosperous life. It's not so much about wither others fit the definition of wither their generically believed to be smarter or dumber.

It's just more if you have legitimate set backs, like being under a poor father figure, that doesn't care about your problems or life and thinks if your disabled and only wants a quiet house, being bullied during high school and until your early twenties, and told many un wanted things and mistreated in a lot of ways. It's harder to believe in yourself if you don't have suitable direction for jobs and have much economic opportunities and with a national recession as of now. I hate knowing that I only could achieve my licence & own a vehicle because of having Centrelink, while having a occupational therapist telling me that I wouldn't get my licence and that I should quit trying.

But also how being diagnosed with pre diabetes in my early twenties and being tragically mistaken to be under psychiatry & it's on going and since twelve years ago. My only problems are educated therapists, they treat your intelligence as superficial or as generalising, but they generalise you hypocritically based on which ever diagnosis your given. They treat you as indenyl or lacking insight if you respectively don't agree with any diagnosis. The say their experts so their egotistical and admit to thinking that their flawless. They don't even apologies if your given permanent side effects from their medication.

Re: How should I handle it?

randomxx — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 21:37:31 GMT

Yeah you did so well with your licence , bloody well done. but yeah , another people example right there hey. Don't ever let anyone tell you stuff like that if you know in your heart it's wrong. Buttt, don't get me wrong l know how hard it is to find the right people, sometimes we're forced to deal with what we get, but yaknow,if we can it can change everything.

That instructor should've been de licensed treating you like that but unfortunately it's all through , like your doctors. Some people can go of and get through the educational part of it but that doesn't mean they're any good at the actual work a lot of them should be in something else imo.

My d's had a ridiculous run with them to she's bp but just late last yr she just accidentality really, finally stumbled over this very good doctor and she gave her all the letters and what have you that she'd needed and helped her so much. The rest were useless, actually more trouble than help.

And, after being hassled by fools at job agencies 2yrs, she finally stumbled over the right guy in that too, he was the one put her onto this doctor actually and has stuck with her he's been fantastic to , finally.

lf you can work towards moving out l think things would change a lot with your dad. lt's really hard being a parent sometimes and very very exhausting especially if there's been mh and physical health problems right through.But it'd be great for you to to get out there independent and started in life.

Anyway hang in and l still think if your so interested in nutrition that's fantastic your ahead of the pack right there and really , your lucky to know and have something your so into so don;t give up on that you'll get there.

Sick of the things I've been through, I'd rather suicide.

BabySteps — Wed, 03 Apr 2024 05:56:05 GMT

I've never liked my father and that's already a frustrating thing to be financially stuck with him. He knows that I don't agree with my diagnosis, but now abuses to say wither I'm disabled, that I'm inept, pale, weak, soft and that if I cook anything I will burn the house down, that I shouldn't be driving, Wither I want to work too. He blackmails me that my pension is a allowance even when it's not money given by my immediate family. He tries to make me seem loaded for having a DSP. That University won't get job's or that employers don't mandate a person to have their driving, everyone knows you need to be viable and flexible. He only cares about himself and he only sympathies when it's someone outside his immediate family.

I went through six years with high school bullies where I was verbally told constant crap, they tried comparing my appearance to Michael Jackson and they would otherwise call me names and make fun of my voice. I had food knocked out of my hands, I had been jabbed and slapped by the idiots. One called me a dog at his worst moment. The other one kept ruining my hair and messing it up on photo day. He also spat soft drink on me and once took my shoe off and kicked it across a muddy wet footy oval. I had him scratch my hands, wrist or arms with his nails and make my skin bleed. He would constantly tell me I am anxiety. Then after high school for five years, one of them kept telling me I am going to be fat tradie loser like my Dad and that I am faking my reason to claim Centrelink and that he would pay back in full to the government. The other one was telling me wither I'm pale, a bogan, insecure, desperate, jealous, wither I'm a rank 1 virgin, rock bottom or wither I'm claiming the workers taxes. They both were laughing about my diabetes diagnosis too and telling me suck in a way to be told to enjoy it or that I'm tarnished to make it worse.

I had a occupational therapist telling me that I won't get my licence and to quit driving.

I've been WRONGLY diagnosed with Schizophrenia since 2013 and I'm stuck on un needed medication, now diagnosed too with pre diabetes, I've got belly stretch marks and no gallbladder also because of whatever the meds did to me. The therapists would never believe that I'm wrongly diagnosed either.

Everyone makes me feel different or special, and I'm either invalidated with my pain or made to feel it's just sad.

Re: Sick of the things I've been through, I'd rather suicide.

james1 — Thu, 18 Apr 2024 01:22:32 GMT

Hello BabySteps,

Thank you for telling us about your experience with the high school bullies. That sounds dreadful, and I'm sad to hear you were bullied so badly. I don't really know what to say, except that I hope you know, deep down, that they were wrong.

I hear you when you say everyone makes you feel different. It seems that's been happening since you were young, and you are tired of feeling like an outsider.

I wonder if you came here, hoping to find a group where people would understand you, or at least not make you feel weird?

Something I've noticed about these forums is that a lot of adults go about their lives feeling really quite alone. It's very sad, and especially hard when people have had a history of being ostracised. In my own case, I find it hard to be close to people because I had a difficult home environment while growing up. I don't know if I'll ever move past a lot of that, but I've made some nice connections through board games, books, and coffee. I guess that helps me feel a bit more positive about people, even if I still find it tough to make friends.

James