topic Re: Struggling alot right now in Depression

Struggling alot right now

startingnew — Mon, 08 Jan 2024 04:36:31 GMT

Hi everyone

i havent been in here in quite some time now but i am struggling alot.

My mental health conditions are worsening and having several chronic pain and other health conditions everything is so hard. i feel so alone and isolated. the only people i speak to are those that need something or those that i have to support otherwise im just alone and have no one.

Re: Struggling alot right now

quirkywords — Tue, 09 Jan 2024 09:06:18 GMT

Starting new sorry you are struggling.

I know in the past you were struggling with chronic pain. Have you ever had any help with pain management..?

take care

Re: Struggling alot right now

Ggrand — Tue, 09 Jan 2024 10:11:02 GMT

Hello Dear Startingnew 🦋,

I too am deeply sorry you’re struggling so much…are you having any treatment or counselling for your mental health and or pain?….Last year I went through over 9 months of chronic pain and it was unbelievable how hard and how deep it knocked me down mentally…my heart goes out to you sweet butterfly…

Quietly sitting with you, here when I can be when you feel up to talking sweet butterfly…

Love and hugs, with my kindest thoughts and care..

Grandy..

Re: Struggling alot right now

startingnew — Tue, 09 Jan 2024 11:57:42 GMT

Hi Quirky and Grandy 💜

These new forum layouts are a little strange but i do like the emoji addition on laptops now!

Im not sure if i mentioned it last time i was here but i was involved in a severe horse accident that left me unable to walk. its taken a bout year but thankfully i am walking now much better. i have aquired a condition called CRPS and a recent diagnosis of POTS so both of these conditions come with an array of issues. In the last year or 2 now though ive lost my job that i had with the horses, i lost friends and clients and things have just been a mess. Pain really rules my life now and it doesnt seem to matter how hard i try i just cant seem to make or keep friends so its incredibly lonley.

i got a new job recently but unfortunatley the company closed and now im left with no work again after i resigned from toxic environments so im back to square one trying to find some better work again. i have managed to get some casual work a couple of hours a week which is working ok at the moment.

my fatigue levels are worsening though and sometimes i spend some days in bed which isnt like me. im always active and moving and now im sleeping excessively because im just to tired or i dont feel the pain or my mental health isnt as bothersome when im sleeping.

In the last year ive seen so many specialists and spent over 10k in trying to work out what was wrong with all the nerves etc after that injury and have had around 12 hospitalisations between surgeries and symptoms that i couldnt manage in since 2021 including migraine management so its been alot.

I have started pain management therapy but i guess ive already been doing that for quite some time. recently i found a pain specialist in another state who does telehealth and i go see him in person every 6 months for a proper review but every 6 months i go for a pain medication infusion that goes for a week as an inpatient and its proving to be quite helpful in symptom management these last few months so ive been able to do some work and go for my daily walks again.

i currently see an array of therapists including massage, physio, exercise physiology, cardiology, neurology, pain specialist and i see a registered nurse ongoing for a compiled management of my medical conditions now that i have so many chronic complex ones. i also see a psychologist each fortnight as well

its been a really big year for me, one ive had to walk alone without informal supports. its taking its toll thats for sure especially now that im not so busy anymore or i dont have the energy to be busy.

Re: Struggling alot right now

Ggrand — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 01:00:34 GMT

Hello Dear Startingnew🦋,

You certainly seem to be having a lot of pain to deal with, I’m sorry Starts, I can’t imagine how hard that would be, I’m pleased that your getting help from a pain specialist and he is able to help you manage your pain better….and you’re able to do some work and go on your daily walks….that’s a great step forward for you sweety..

Its okay to spend a day here and their in bed, on those days your giving yourself some care, please don’t be hard on yourself for doing that, when my shoulder pain was really bad, I did the same..as you said when we’re sleeping we don’t feel the mental and physical pain we would do if we’re awake…

You seem to be doing everything you can to help you through all the pain you have, being self aware and pro active is a good thing to be able to do, so please try hard to never give up on getting the help you need….

Thinking of you with care and kindness Dear Startingnew.. gentle hugs sweet butterfly.

Grandy..

Re: Struggling alot right now

yours_truly — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 12:02:12 GMT

Hey Startingnew,

Welcome back to the forums. I know you mentioned that you were in a horse accident. I’m so sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. Back to back surgeries and 10K worth of medical assistance is surely to be very stressful and constant. I’m sure you’re feeling like there’s just no end to it all and it may be feeling extremely overwhelming. That is all normal and very much expected.

I cannot speak like I know what you are going through, and that may limit my ability to provide you support. Hence why we always recommend that you find yourself a reliable support system. Whether that be a person that you trust and know you can rely on, on it may be a support group, or an online chatting group. Whatever it may be, it is helpful to get things out and not just bottle them up inside.

Trauma and medical conditions go hand in hand, each one worsens the other. I am relieved to hear that you are seeing a psychologist because it is essential to your wellbeing. I might also recommend that if you are feeling alone you see if there are support groups running for people who have been through similar situations. Your local hospital may have some, or there may be some that beyond blue holds.

You are never alone, you are never isolated. That feeling is not permanent and it may help to know that there are options to get you out of that sinking mental health nightmare. My advice to you would be to reach out, which i’m so happy to see you have started doing.

Congratulations on your progress regarding your legs,

Yours_truly

Re: Struggling alot right now

Serenity22 — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 17:37:33 GMT

Hey there 🙂

I am in a similar boat to you. It feels like there’s holes in the boat and it’s sinking? And you need to use your energy to ail out water constantly but that hurts physically, so you don’t get anywhere. I’m thinking of you. I’m in a spot of bother with pain myself right now so I’ll keep it brief. But I want you to know I’m there with you somehow xox

Re: Struggling alot right now

startingnew — Fri, 19 Jan 2024 07:55:39 GMT

Hi Grandy ❤️

It has been really hard. i have a support worker that i pay privately currently to help me for some things but in the process of applying for NDIS. its been really hard with her though, she often gets frustrated at me because i dont say how im really feeling or anything like that and she feels i dont give her any credit.

i dont know what to do. shes a good person but i struggle to open up to anyone.

the pain is a majoy factor of my life. im often coming from my bed to lay on the lounge because of my comfort levels and every thing.

i just feel like my health is really declining now and i dont know what else to do to stop it

thank you hugs are appreciated xoxo

Re: Struggling alot right now

startingnew — Fri, 19 Jan 2024 08:00:16 GMT

Hello Yours Truly and its nice to meet you. thank you for replying.

it has been a very expensive journey and a tiring one at that. im currently applying for NDIS. i really could use the supports but im basically working to pay for the supports i receive now.

i was on a social media group a couple actually but i found the group to overwhelming-basically people that didnt want to help themselves and just constantly complained which obviously they are entitled to but constant negativity doesnt fix the illnesses either so it was getting to much to constantly see and talk about.

i pay for a support worker currently out of my own pocket but i cant afford it really but i also need the support.

i am very isolated. i dont have family support, and i have people around me but they dont really lke being around me unless im useful. ive put in so much effort to make friends and engage with people but it only leads to heartbreak. its getting to stressful and tiring now for me to do

but im glad i have some supports here

Re: Struggling alot right now

startingnew — Fri, 19 Jan 2024 08:01:30 GMT

Hi Serenity, nice to meet you

yes that is exactly what it feels like, its a tough one to feel. a never ending battle of physical and mental health

Re: Struggling alot right now

Ggrand — Sun, 21 Jan 2024 01:17:05 GMT

Hello Dear Starts, and everyone….🤗…

I know how hard it is to open up to someone especially a support worker, but in reality sweetheart, the can’t help you unless you do open up…I mean if they don’t know the extent of your pain and hurt, both physically and mentally, they cannot help you….because they simply just know how much you’re struggling….Starts, if you can’t verbally open up, then write it down, you know, your thoughts, your emotions, your pain, then hand it to them….

On my days off work, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday, I’m doing exactly what your doing…going from my bed to my lounge and remaining there until bed time again….my days off are the days, that I don’t have to pretend that I’m okay….I can just be me….I do wish it was different though, I wish I had the motivation needed to do the jobs around my house that need doing….or go for a walk…..You’re not alone sweet butterfly 🦋…

Can you get some support from you’re Dr….A mental health Care Plan is free, maybe ask your Dr. for a Victims Counsellor support…My Dr offered that service to me and because they work with victims of crime, I found them much more understanding and helpful in making me understand why I was feeling the way I am feeling about all the abuse I went through…..In a way I’ve accepted that I can’t change that, even though my guilt is still strong and I’m still struggling with myself, I seem to be able to move forward with lots of work from me….slowly I am moving forward…mentally..

You have had a lot of trauma, both physically and mentally Starts, Please try hard to know that, You are stronger then you think you are… more beautiful than you think you are and one amazing young lady, who deserves a life of peace…I wish and pray that peace, both physically and mentally will come into your life, very soon….

Thinking of you Little Butterfly with my love and care…

Hugs, ❤️🤗🦋.

Grandy..

Re: Struggling alot right now

startingnew — Sun, 28 Jan 2024 00:35:34 GMT

Hi Grandy

These new forum changes are abit hard for me to navigate so im sorry for the delays im trying to work them out.

i have been open with the suppot workers and i just had an OT assessment so i can now hand in an application to NDIS. my urges have been really strong and ive given in to some of them the last few days but i see my psychologist on wednesday so im going to ask her to help me with it.

im using the mental health care plan currently but when it runs out i use my insurance. the gap is less but at least i still get some $ back.

work is becoming really hard for me due to my fatigue and other symptoms. hopefully there will be something that can help manage it but there isnt much treatment left now just management.

my beloved pet also passed away earlier this week too. hopefully i can get her cremation back soon.