https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/my-depression-a-nautical-metaphor/m-p/579682#M52292 <P>Apparently there is a 500 word limit, so I'll be replying to myself a bit while I get my thoughts in order...</P><P>I am 50. I have nothing to show for it. I wander from job to job, unable to find an occupation or employer worth sticking with. I travelled briefly in my youth, but I barely remember it. I have a house...that was subject to a termite infestation, and is now worthless. I live in a fairly quiet rural town. Several times we have begun to start our own business, only to have the council refuse us...and days or weeks later, have someone related to a councillor get approved to start that exact same business. But proving it...&nbsp;</P><P>This place has drained us of our life and enthusiasm. The very thought of moving back to the city was enough to lift our depression...for a week or two, before reality set in and we relised we cannot afford rent or house prices back there...</P><P>This feels like a very deep hole...</P> Mon, 04 Dec 2023 07:08:57 GMT Brokenmirror 2023-12-04T07:08:57Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/my-depression-a-nautical-metaphor/m-p/579653#M52288 <P>My councellor once asked me to describe my depression, and how my medication was working...after a bit of thought, I said...</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>It's like I'm in the middle of the ocean, drowning. When I'm taking the antidepressants, it's like having a life preserver, it keeps my head above water...but I'm still in the middle of the ocean.</P><P>&nbsp;</P><P>I get pretty philosophical at 2 in the morning... I feel like there is no point, that there is a void, an emptiness inside me, inside everyone. Some people fill it with work, with family, with religion, money, cars, drugs, alcohol, an immaculate lawn, extreme sports, exploration, or whatever...<SPAN>Sadly, none of those work for me.</SPAN></P><P>&nbsp;</P> Sun, 03 Dec 2023 15:06:47 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/my-depression-a-nautical-metaphor/m-p/579653#M52288 Brokenmirror 2023-12-03T15:06:47Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/my-depression-a-nautical-metaphor/m-p/579682#M52292 <P>Apparently there is a 500 word limit, so I'll be replying to myself a bit while I get my thoughts in order...</P><P>I am 50. I have nothing to show for it. I wander from job to job, unable to find an occupation or employer worth sticking with. I travelled briefly in my youth, but I barely remember it. I have a house...that was subject to a termite infestation, and is now worthless. I live in a fairly quiet rural town. Several times we have begun to start our own business, only to have the council refuse us...and days or weeks later, have someone related to a councillor get approved to start that exact same business. But proving it...&nbsp;</P><P>This place has drained us of our life and enthusiasm. The very thought of moving back to the city was enough to lift our depression...for a week or two, before reality set in and we relised we cannot afford rent or house prices back there...</P><P>This feels like a very deep hole...</P> Mon, 04 Dec 2023 07:08:57 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/my-depression-a-nautical-metaphor/m-p/579682#M52292 Brokenmirror 2023-12-04T07:08:57Z