topic Depression- our ultimate goal. in Depression

Depression- our ultimate goal.

white knight — Sun, 12 Oct 2014 09:39:45 GMT

We have quite a large community here. So many people suffering depression. Most have several symptoms in common, lack of motivation, worthlessness, sleep and more sleep, moodiness and the list - well I've only scratched the surface.

Sadly (and I wont ignore it) many mentioning they want to give up on life. And of course, that there is nothing left that stimulates them. Yet, this is so totally wrong. We know in our hearts and logic that there are things you can do in life that will leave you breathless with excitement, place a smile on your face for days with you ringing all your friends to tell them and some experiences that will be lifelong memories. Yet for the deeply depressed this sadly is all irrelevant. Either their depression is so deep they dont want to even entertain the ideas or physically they are drained by meds.

What I want from this thread is for you to dream, to open up your cloudy mind to what is possible when you are in the depths of sleep or despair. As you lie there in bed have simply thoughts, simply plans to chase those experiences when your cycle has run its cruel course.

So you wait till then. And a day comes when you are feeling not bad. you look at your partner and tell them to find the nearest hot air ballooning business "we are gunna fly". Or hire a speed boat, light aircraft or helicopter flight, lunch at a revolving restaurant anything for that "buzz". Totally out of your comfort zone? you bet ya.

On the wrong tram? tell me, criticise me, suggest anything, talk, say it, I dont care, I am willing to take anything on the chin with this. Frankly, I will do anything to make progress with one person and I hope that person is you. Why?

Because yes, I've been there, I've come out the other side and managed my depression to a more stable level but I never forget those times and I will fight like hell to never return there. I want you, the reader to do the same, to travel on the same journey I've endured, to hold the hands of your family and run with them ....into the sunlight as one, laughing and loving.

You will not give up hope. You will wait for that day of calm and end of cycle peace to arrive and you will show that black dog where to go. And your partner/children/family members will look at you in awe, because you would have done activity that is not parallel to the symptoms of your illness. You will do it because you can, you will never give up. Your kids will love you for trying.

You will fight like you've never fought before.

Depression- our ultimate goal.

HA1 — Sun, 12 Oct 2014 09:52:35 GMT

A nice post.

Going through a bad patch, during which time I have realised and accepted that maybe I will not get much better; but, I may probably be able to manage it.

As you have discussed on another thread, who are we when we come out on 'the other side'? I now know that I have been sick for a long time - this is all I know. Who will I be when I come out 'on the other side' ? Not myself, that I know.

Depression- our ultimate goal.

Neil_1 — Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:29:00 GMT

Tony (WK)

I have just stopped by (and wasn't "logged in" to just have a quick look) - as I'm on the brink right now.

My mum is dying from cancer and all signs she will not make it through this coming week. I'm shattered and gutted behind thought.

But my friend, I read your post and something in it resonated within me - my eyes are constantly red and sore, but there was something that made me want to respond - just this once. After this, I don't think I'll be back here for a little while.

Dear people on Beyond Blue - DO NOT GIVE UP ON LIFE. You have only ONE chance at this - you are living at the moment - PLEASE keep doing just that - LIVING. But as Tony suggested - do MORE.

My Mum does not want to die. I do NOT want her to ........ (I can't even write it).

I know, we all suffer from our various mental illnesses, but it doesn't mean that we can't find some kind of thing to enjoy in our lives. Be it the smallest thing, damnit, get a yo-yo and learn to "walk the dog". Or some of the suggestions that Tony provided.

I know above all else, that our minds are suffering EVERY day with this evil disease and it hurts like all hell - it really does. And I'm about to experience .... sorry, I can't even go there.

But dear friends, I lost my Dad (7 years ago to leukemia) and now my Mum has been long suffering with cancer and it seems the end is nigh - but dear people, we are all different ages and at different levels of our own mental illness - but that doesn't mean we can't try to find SOMETHING that might bring some joy into our lives.

This is a BRILLIANT thread created by White Knight (Tony) - push this one on and reach out to each other and even put forward your OWN suggestions.

Bye for now, I've met none of you, but at this current moment, that means jack sh*t - I love all of you.

Neil

Depression- our ultimate goal.

white knight — Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:33:44 GMT

Hi AOK

" I now know that I have been sick for a long time - this is all I know." That quote in the very least 'K' means insight of your illness. That, in comparison to many is a Godsend. So build on that, it's a head start you may not view as being one.

The 'fight' can also include tenacity in prolonged treatment, trying different meds etc. The fight is the same, the one direction.

Honour in persistence.

Depression- our ultimate goal.

Mares73 — Mon, 13 Oct 2014 06:19:30 GMT

Dear friends for those of you who read Neils post above & would like to send a message of support-there is a thread called "Neil-followup" on the Community Board forum. Just thought I'd let you know that Neil has replied to several posts under that 5th read about what he is going through at the moment. Just thought some members would like to know...Mares x

Depression- our ultimate goal.

ontarioguy35 — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 03:09:29 GMT

Hi White Knight,

What a brilliant idea for a thread. Thank you.

The 'black dog' has chased me for far too many years and has crippled my confidence. When I was younger, I used to tell anyone that would listen that I would publish a novel. Although I've completed two manuscripts already, I've been working on a fictitious novel, with the intent of exposing the difficulties and struggles that depression has created in my life. I'm nearing the end of it and I find my depressive mind is starting to kick-in (anxiety as a result of the shame depression is trying to convince me I'll feel about opening up about this illness to certain people). I find that one of the main things I'm trying to combat and manage is simply just finishing what I start. Either or (and whether I chose to publish it or not), I will finish this project, then move forward with my life. I'm currently unemployed, so the next step is to get back into the labour market and really face my anxiety. I've also been single for a year (while I took some time to try to understand this sadness), so I'm also really looking forward to opening-up and allowing myself to start 'trusting' myself to date again. Just writing this down on here is exciting for me White Knight; thank you. I need to keep focused on the positives in the future, as I'm not at the completely sunken level of depression at the moment, however, I'm wise to the fact that I can get stuck in that quick-sand if I don't keep a firm grasp on this illness.

Once again, thank you!

Depression- our ultimate goal.

Joya — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 03:27:19 GMT

Wow you really opened my eyes by saying depression will trick you into believing something, I've never considered it tricky but it is! It really is! I wish you well on your novel, I'm sure it will shed a lot of light on this thing called depression!

Depression- our ultimate goal.

white knight — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 03:46:12 GMT

Hi all, this seems to have struck a cord. I'm so glad. It is a place many can go this forum, to be at home. A place of no harm, anonymity and peace.

What Neil is facing at the moment is a place we all experience at various times in our lives. What better comfort we can give to another loving soul but to be here offering a few words of love and support. It's bad enough dealing with our day to day struggles let alone enduring the pain of grief. Hang in there mate, all will be ok.

Thankyou Ontarioguy. Your words are wonderful and reassuring. Great to see you here. I too have written a manuscript called "Black clouds dancing" about three characters inside my struggling to survive in the one body. I must, now that I'm retired, finish it. I've edited it 6 times now.

Depression- our ultimate goal.

Little_Rascal — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 04:07:59 GMT

White Knight you are such a top bloke!!!

you're responses to my posts have helped heaps and this post just illustrates the strength you have, you're an inspiration.

Cheers 🙂

Depression- our ultimate goal.

Guest_9466 — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 05:41:40 GMT

Dear White Knight, AOK,

Firstly, WK, interesting thread, thank you for starting it.

AOK, You wrote "Who will I be when I come out 'on the other side' ? Not myself, that I know."

I would like to share with you that when I came through 'on the other side', I actually found a more interesting me......one that is fun to be with, one who loves to laugh and who likes to enjoy life to it's fullest. I found myself being courageous, willing to give most things a go especially budget travel. The kind of travel I did is the shoe string kind and just recently, I decided to travel solo and I also decided when the opportunity presents itself, not only to stay in backpacker's hostel but also in a mixed dorm. Admittedly, I didn't do it willingly at first but it was either staying in a mixed dorm for 11 Euros or pay 45 Euros for a room. Guess which I chose.

So, I think what you would find may be a much stronger you and one who is willing to give life a go.

Depression- our ultimate goal.

Little_Rascal — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 05:55:52 GMT

so strange how much I relate to you AOK .

I hate people saying "you've changed" I ended a friendship over her constantly reminding me of this. we all change anyway, if we didn't we would be pretty boring cave people. I worry I wont be the same... but I don't want to be, with the bipolar 2 and bpd I'm moody snappy aggressive and erratic, then very withdrawn on the low times. my old house mate had two nick names for me ... cas hulk and cas weeeee she made me a cheese toasties or gave me wine and stayed the hell away from me when she could tell I was cas hulk and she would call me cas wee when we would cuddle and giggle and cook dinner together.

The you on the other side will have better coping mechanisms. Now I have RHCP otherside stuck in my head

Depression- our ultimate goal.

HA1 — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 07:37:54 GMT

Thanks for your post. I am very happy that you enjoy the life and the new you that you found on the otherside. I guess it will be strange for me to come out there as a person that is different to what I am used to. Most of those that know me (acquaintances rather than 'friends'), would think that there was definitely something wrong with me if all of a sudden I was relaxed, happy and sociable! (LOL) - and the devil in me is now actually looking forward to watching the confusion in faces. Thank you MG.

Take care

Depression- our ultimate goal.

HA1 — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 08:00:34 GMT

Hi Little Rascal

Thanks for sharing - I'm kind of glad that there is someone who can relate. I was feeling a little melancholic and philosophical when I made that post to WK. I guess I want at least a few years of being someone other than me - but, still, the thought of being so is a little creepy (to me).

RHCP 'Otherside' stuck in your head! Hmm, sad story I don't think it is recommended for us 🙂

Take care

Depression- our ultimate goal.

ontarioguy35 — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 15:05:53 GMT

Thanks Joya,
In my experience, I've found it can be as tricky as anything else (smoking for example). I find I manage it the best when I'm constantly aware of it's lingering presence, however, as soon as I allow myself to think that I'm in the clear, that's when I seem to start to fall back into negative habits and thinking (funks). Managing depression for me is a very sensitive balance 🙂

WK - That's awesome that you've completed your novel "Black Clouds Dancing". I'd love to read it. I find I get the most strength from hearing/reading the rawness of this illness from others who have/are experiencing it. When I was younger, the only books I could find on depression/anxiety were mainly self-help books that read like text books. What I was looking for was just pure honest revelations from people who struggle with it. I felt alone and these testimonies would have mitigated this feeling of aloneness. Will you please let me know if you decide to publish it? I'd love to read it. The editing/revision stage is by far the most difficult and painfully slow part in the process. Please keep-up with it! 🙂

To everyone else on this thread. Thanks for the honesty and the window into each and everyone of your lives. I'm very thankful that I've found this site. There is a lot of great sharing and encouragement going on. It's wonderful to see 🙂

Depression- our ultimate goal.

Little_Rascal — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 15:41:54 GMT

Not creepy.

I did a few units at uni of metaphysics philosophy, was pretty inyenset 🙂

There is never a bad time for the chilies, maybe factory of faith by RHCP is better? I always start my house work with this and end my work out with it 🙂

Depression- our ultimate goal.

geoff — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 23:13:05 GMT

dear Tony, another great post to stimulate our minds, but what you have said could only be written by someone who has travelled the hard yards and come out the other end once scathed and injured, but learnt a hell of a lot, changed direction because that's exactly what happens, it has to, or perhaps it occurs naturally, and I am no different.

Even though my new life suits me contrary to what others think and keep telling me to not do this or do that, because I don't fit into the norm, and here I'm mostly talking about my daily hours of when the 'proper' time should be to go bed and then get up, and that it's strange that I live the hours I do, but is there ever going to be the proper time to go to bed, well no, so I say to them why do you stay up so late, and why is 10pm the ideal time, and who says so.

I have to admit that when I was depressed there was nothing that I wanted to do, however there were times when I was dragged away to go somewhere where I did have fun when I was there, but didn't have any thought of doing it myself, maybe lack of courage.

I too wish and hope that I never have to go back to where I once was, and even by having relapses I don't consider this to be back into depression, because I know that within a day or so I will be to being 'normal' if there is such a word that exists.

Everybody who has overcome this illness generally finds a new life, because that's what happens. Geoff.

Depression- our ultimate goal.

HA1 — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 10:19:31 GMT

Hey Little Rascal

Metaphysics; I am sure that it would have been an interesting area of study, would certainly be for me - as it is kind of relevant (now that you have mentioned it). Might look into that ... But yeah, I'm sure it would do my brain in too, ha!

Factory of faith is better! But for house cleaning???

take care

Depression- our ultimate goal.

Little_Rascal — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 13:57:41 GMT

YES and the gym, makes me smile and I instantly feel better 🙂

It's a mind boggling subject, the first class asked the question what is a chair, can the table be a chair? And a rocky stream is not a rocky stream with out either the stream or tge rocks, one defines the other. So fascinating ! Descarts metaphysics is intense! Read away 🙂

Hope everyone is doing okay! I had a panic attack while getting a massage bahh so silly!!! Haha

Depression- our ultimate goal.

HA1 — Fri, 17 Oct 2014 08:20:05 GMT

"One defines the other"

So obvious without being so.

Over the years I have been defined by my thoughts, feelings and behaviours. So if these change then who am I ? Interesting ...

Depression- our ultimate goal.

Little_Rascal — Fri, 17 Oct 2014 10:53:19 GMT

Your core values and traits, I don't think, ever change. 🙂 my mum said you are finally your self again. Don't let your illness consume you, a strong current can wash away the rocks.