topic Re: where do I start in Depression

where do I start

Iron — Tue, 08 Aug 2023 05:54:00 GMT

Hello

I have had depression for over 7 years now

Really had enough

Just started getting help

I used to be so active

Body-building

Salsa dancing photography

Now nothing

I work in the mines and when I get home I just lay on my bed for 7 day

I really want to get back to my old self

I have tried so many times doing things but have no interest.

What can I do to help me get back to my old self

Re: where do I start

Croix — Tue, 08 Aug 2023 12:28:32 GMT

Dear Iron~

Welcome here to the Forum, I hope you will find other's experiences of use in coping with yours.

Seven years is a long time to go with depression, and I'm very glad you have started getting help. I'm glad because there was no way I could improve myself, in fact things kept on getting worse. After I started medical assistance, which was both medications and therapy, things started to improve.

I'm not the same person now, with plenty of energy and interest in my activities, relationship and in enjoyable pastimes.

One thing I found, looking back, was that depression not only saps energy and motivation, filling the mind full of hopeless thoughts, but it also makes for black and white thinking. There is no room for gradual improvement. I used to think recovery meant instant fix - which I knew simply was not going to happen. In effect I'd decided I was gong to fail before I'd started.

As I improved I learned to take things slow, to see getting out of bed as a victory, so too brushing my teeth and taking a shower. As time went on I did more and more until I reached my present stage, still not the same as before, but it makes life very living.

Do you mind if I ask if you have support in your life. A partner, family member or friend perhaps. someone who can listen, not try to 'fix' things but show they care? I was lucky and had that as well the medical people.

I hope you might like to come back and say more about your life and what you face

Croix

Re: where do I start

therising — Tue, 08 Aug 2023 19:43:42 GMT

Hi Iron

Long term depression is such a brutal thing and I feel for you so much as you try your best to manage under the circumstances. The endurance factor in long term depression can certainly make it feel like an exhausting kind of hell on earth.

Sometimes it can feel impossible to find the reason/s for why we suddenly find our self in a depression. In a lot of cases, I believe there's a tipping point between managing certain factors all the way up to those factors becoming depressing. For example...

Mentally, we can be working with some belief system that hasn't been too damaging in the past. Maybe when we were growing up we were led to believe 'Sensitivity is a weakness'. That may expand to become 'If I tough things out and just get on with life like everyone else, I am strong'. Still not a problem until we become more sensitive. As sensitivity gradually develops, it meets with a tipping point where we may define our self as 'weak'. Change the belief system and change the perspective: Sensitivity is about 'Having the ability to sense easily'. So then it becomes 'How do I manage this ability to sense just about everything, an ability that feels more like a curse at times?'.

With the physical reasons for a depression, I personally found there's a tipping point when it comes to sleep apnea and B12 deficiency. When they reach depressing levels, their impact can definitely be felt. Whether it's sleep apnea, a vitamin or mineral deficiency (B12, vitamin D, iron etc) or something else, until it's addressed it'll continue to have a depressing impact. As a 53yo gal, I can tell you that the body stops being an energetic powerhouse that can cop any form of abuse and neglect and at some point starts being this thing that requires a lot of energy input and strategic management. With every cell in our body excitedly vibrating at a certain volume and frequency, not being able to 'feel the vibe' can definitely become depressing.

From a natural perspective, there is a soulful sense of inspiration, a soulful sense of personal evolution, a soulful sense of feeling life running through us etc. There is a tipping point where a lack of such things can be felt on such a deep level.

If emotion is energy in motion (e-motion), I've found it helps to ask 'Does it involve certain mental energy in motion or not in motion, certain physical/chemical energy in motion or not in motion or a natural/soulful sense of energy in motion or not in motion? Another way of putting that is 'What does what I'm experiencing actually feel like?'. Can feel almost impossible to get a better sense of things. I've found sometimes it can come down to a process of elimination, in order to figure out what's not a factor (through blood tests, sleep studies, eliminating depressing habits, counseling etc). Depression develops the detective in us, that's for sure.

Re: where do I start

jaz28 — Tue, 08 Aug 2023 22:13:36 GMT

Hi Iron,

sorry to hear about your struggles with depression, you are very strong to have come this far. don't beat yourself up for it.

getting help is the first step, well done. hopefully, this will help you take to get back to your old self. it takes time though, so be patient with yourself and stay strong.

depression may come back in waves, but seeing a psychologist or doctor is really helpful in managing it.

croix and therising have some good points too.

stay strong,

jaz xx

Re: where do I start

Iron — Wed, 09 Aug 2023 12:31:51 GMT

Thank You for you help

Re: where do I start

Iron — Wed, 09 Aug 2023 12:32:44 GMT

Thank you Jaz xxx

Re: where do I start

Iron — Wed, 09 Aug 2023 12:34:22 GMT

I am married

But I feel they don't understand me

Re: where do I start

Croix — Thu, 10 Aug 2023 13:12:21 GMT

Dear Iron~

You said : "But I feel they don't understand me"

I guess there can be several reasons for that, the most common being I'd think lack of experience. If they have not been in the same place it does seem to mean that the advice and sympathy given is not really what you need.

To start with I found that downright annoying (though I knew I shouldn't) however after my psychiatrist had explained to them all the symptoms and what was happening to me things improved a lot.

Do you think it might be worth organizing a trip to your doctor or psych to get this explained?

Croix