topic Re: Do not feed the monster in Depression

Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Sun, 14 May 2023 08:05:53 GMT

I am struggling to understand this website and find my way around

I have replied to some people

I think that two champions replied to my first two posts

I do not know where they are now

I have supported several posts of others

I have replied to one person I think today

I am resonating with several posts in different areas but cannot remember where they are

I am literally lost within this website as well as within myself

I am working very hard at keeping the dreaded "D" at bay which I have battled with too many times.

I have had this since young apparently

I have had large gaps of time where I am mostly symptom free I think

The monster is the dreaded "d"

It is also a relative whom I have had to relinquish her hold over me.

I have only learnt about this stuff recently so struggle talking about it.

So I think of do not feed the monster as in do not think of her. Or do not feel guilty or upset or worry or a thousand other things

Also do not feed the dreaded "d" as it lurks waiting

I will not find this piece again

Re: Do not feed the monster

mmMekitty — Sun, 14 May 2023 08:44:38 GMT

Hello Emotions26.

I hope you have found your way to this thread of yours, again.

I know when people first join the foroums here, it's not easy to learn everything all at once. There are still things I don't understand about this website. When I have forgotten where I've posted a reply to someone is one problem I still have. I try to remember what the title was, or the name of who made the thread, & I can then search by typing in this information into the search thing up at the top of the whaatever page I' m on, then press Enter on my keyboard, & usually find what I am looking for.

Sometimes I remember to check the the 'bread crumb' up tere, which tells me, for example, your own thread is to be found in the Beyond Blue Forums, under the heading Mental Health Conditions, then under Depression. I might have to dig into some pages, before I find yours again. You, however, can click (tap) your 'Your discussions' near the top of the page, too, & then you will see all the discussions/threads you have begun.

Have you looked at the 'View the FAQ's' section?

I hope this gets you some way towards being able to use this website more.

I'm sorry you have 'the dreaded monster D', & have had someone who treated you badly. You are definitely not to blame for how she treated you, no, no shame, no guil, not your fault, you did nothing wrong.

Now I will go & see if I can find your other threads, using the search thingy.

I saw you had supported some posts in 'Last to post wins', & thank you for that. I know because I see what 'Notifications' I have, by clicking the little blue heart next to my own picture up at the top of the page. Maybe you've seen a number up there, near the little blue heart? There will be that many new Notifications for you.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

Re: Do not feed the monster

mmMekitty — Sun, 14 May 2023 08:50:05 GMT

Oh, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. I saw you'd supported posts in 'Suddenly feel insufferably loney' made by On The Road.

That's my memory, getting me confused.

More hugzies

mmMekitty

Re: Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Sun, 14 May 2023 10:37:31 GMT

Thank you so much mmMekitty for taking the time to explain how some of this works.

I write long letters so feel a little more at ease when I receive your efforts. I see that as your being kind and considerate.

I do not have any blue hearts or hearts at all next to my icon. Thank you for trying to help.

Re: Do not feed the monster

mmMekitty — Sun, 14 May 2023 12:34:48 GMT

Hi again! Glad to see you found your thread again.

I also realise you have found the blue heart underneath each post.

The other blue heart is (at least on my PC), is up there between the search spyglass icon, & the circle which is (for you) the generic avatar picture. For me, it looks like my avatar, which is a picture of my cat, as she was some years ago now. We all see our own picture, whether it's the generic head & shoulders abstract or their own uploaded picture. It's near the right-hand top corner.

I usually write a lot, but we have to be a bit careful because there is a character count limit. It counts spaces & counts emojis as 'slightly smiling face' = 22 characters. Plus the counter may not let a post be posted when it reaches 23500, even though it's supposed to be permitted to post as many as 2500 characters in a post. That's a glitch not fixed yet.

There have been times when I used writing to just get things out of my head, for a while., maybe so I could sleep, or to stop the thoughts going on & on at me. I've found that very helpful to do. I would write everything I was thinking & feeling, no censorship, no holding back, remembering no-one ever has to read it, unless you choose.

Or take a break from thinking about that. Instead, focus on something else.

I find it very hard to not think of something. When I try, inevitably I think of the thing I want to not think about. It's like, if I say, "Don't think of someone with curly hair". What are the images which come to mind?

Maybe it would help to think of things you would rather think about, like favourite songs or places you like, books you've read, animals you like, maybe pet dogs or cats, or somewhere to go tomorrow, what is the plan for tomorrow? If you don't have one, what would you like to do? Just think, focusing in close, like holding a tube to your eye & looking close at a chosen thought.

Pleasant dreams

mmMekitty

Re: Do not feed the monster

HelloGail — Sun, 14 May 2023 23:49:45 GMT

Hi Emotions26

It takes a while to familiarise with this website and hard especially if you only have a mobile phone. I have learned there are four (4) sections Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal and Family Relationships. Try and remember the Subject title to where you replied to a member's post and scroll to find them or I think somewhere in your membersip's settings it may hrlp you find to who you connected with.

Depression. I read that you have had gaps of being symptom free. I find the weather affects my emotion but moreso, if I have not eaten a healthy meal. Fast food is a quick HIT but I feel down afterwards. Spinach is my Motto. If I don't eat spinach for ar least 4-5 days I wilt. It is probably due to my nervous system being so sensitive. I was the ninth child so msybe I missed out on some good genes and enzyms, I really do not know. Hope you find my message and the others here lol.

Re: Do not feed the monster

james1 — Mon, 15 May 2023 02:42:49 GMT

Hello Emotions26,

One thing I do is I click "Follow Post" under posts I want to keep track of and then, if I want to find it again, I click "Profile" at the top of the screen.

I understand it can be really hard to talk about things sometimes and I hope you do not feel pressured here to talk before you are ready. I have some things that I am just not ready to deal with and, when they come up, I find ways to put it aside for later. Usually that's reading or listening to an interesting podcast. I hope you also have something similar to help you manage.

Thanks for supporting others on these forums. That's really great that you are able to connect with others and find ways to find meaning in your experiences, and turn them into help for others. I hope we can hold this thread for you when you need support and feel okay to talk more.

James

Re: Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Mon, 15 May 2023 03:07:09 GMT

Hello James

That is a lovely reply.

I very much appreciate your reassuring me.

I feel that I have written too much now all over the place and perhaps might start to bother people.

When you say this thread do you mean Do not Feed the Monster?

I can now see at the top that it comes under :

Hopefully I can find it that way.

I could not work out how to respond to your notification then found it another way which I do not remember.

Practise like anything I imagine.

I have been clicking follow post.

If people do not reply there is nothing to follow though.

I might take time out anyway now as am tired.

Thank you again

Emotions26

Re: Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Mon, 15 May 2023 11:29:45 GMT

Hello HelloGail

almost a tongue twister

Sorry that I did not reply to you sooner.

I was spreading myself out all over the place and confused myself more.

I have understood a little with the help of quite a few.

I t still seems weird as I feel as though I am writing in a void and that nobody will ever find my words.

You mentioned the weather.

I am not affected too much by the seasons more so by drastic change in weather. I hate the wind. I also hate extreme heat and humidity makes me feel ill.

I do love all of the seasons though. I welcome the change.

Meals are important as you mentioned.

I eat healthily however, when the dreaded “D” hits I feel nauseous and lose my appetite.

Ninth child that would have been a busy time growing up.

I was a twin and life was boring.

Thank you for saying hello.

Re: Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Mon, 15 May 2023 11:46:05 GMT

It feels as though I am the only person on here.

The dreaded “D” is starting to take it’s hold.

Re: Do not feed the monster

HelloGail — Mon, 15 May 2023 20:34:57 GMT

Thanks for your lovely message, it can be a challenge in here when so many people are writing and sharing but that's good. It is somewhere where we can go to in the moments of our D's so here comes Winter what is it going to bring us this year! I do have a good sense of humour and do any of you here do? After Barry Humphries passed away RIP, I watched stakes of videos of him and him playing Edna Everidge of Mooney Ponds. I did see him Live in Sydney 1985 Regent Theatre with a friend of my brother's, he had no one to go with and he had a spare ticket. Anyway, last week watching youtube of Barry had me in stitches but of course there are some days we are just too low to go there (comedies). I use to be optimistic but not anymore. Cheers🍷

Re: Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Tue, 16 May 2023 02:54:20 GMT

Hello

HelloGail

Clever username

Lovely I have received a postcard in my post box.

Barry Humphries was a very intelligent and witty man wasn't he. Considering his generation he was extremely brave and a great voice for adversity and difference.

His style was so very clever and I too loved his very artful wit.

That would have been a beautiful experience seeing him live at the Regent Theatre. Nice of your brother's friend to invite you.

I have found that when the "D" is not around my sense of humour has come to the fore.

As a result of my being me and not being bothered by others as much.

We saw John Cleeves live and even though part of his act was reflective and more serious; overall was enjoyable.

Billy Connolly saw him decades ago. The very expressive language took me off balance initially and once I let that go over my head I could not stop laughing.

British humour is still my favourite.

I am starting to understand the very laid back australian humour more; as I watch more.

I love the film "the Dish" and can watch that over and over.

I also enjoy several series

The games and Utopia

Tom Sharpe and Terry Pratchett are very clever, humourous authors.

What is some of your taste?

Interesting word optimism

I feel quite irritated when someone tells me to think positively. It borders on insulting.

I am very capable of thinking positively.

However, when the "D" is lurking or in full force positivity is no more helpful than dust in the air.

Blech is my word to describe current move currently. Can change like the weather.

Look forward to hearing back if you feel up to interracting.

I am still not sure how I am supposed to be doing this.

My inner self tells me do it my way and see what happens.

Thank you

Cheers back

Emotions26

Re: Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Tue, 16 May 2023 03:53:44 GMT

I have messed up

breached the guidelines

written where I shouldn't

not intended

have the greatest respect for everyone brave enough to be here as well as all of those who keep it running

I will post what I posted in what I thought was feedback.

It popped up and was back from 2013. all on it's ownsome

I found faqs in left column finally

Just do not have mindset as am in overload to read pages of instructions

I suppose that I should just stay away

How does that work then?

Come back when I am feeling better.

The "D" has lifted?

Not trying to be disrespectful or sound cynical

more exasperated and quite frankly over

the

Mind

Thank you to everyone with whom I have conversed so far.

You are all lovely and I believe that this world is upside down

It is not us who should be writing on here.

There is nothing wrong with us.

It is everyone else who tries to tell us how to be!

I will write this on a discussion. Hence have chosen this one seems most frequently responded to at moment.

I think that I am only supposed to have one.

Oops found that out a bit too late.

Wait and see.

Re: Do not feed the monster

HelloGail — Tue, 16 May 2023 09:45:02 GMT

Hi Emotions26

Great to hear from you. I didn't know what to call myself and wasn't in a creative mood so just wrote HelloGail. I love receiving post cards from friends/family on their travels, something special about PC.
Wow, you sound like a real lover of comedy, John Cleese use to be my favourite; Billy Connolly, he is a bit of a shocker at first so he really gets our attention, love his doco's too and his lovely scottish accent.

That's an interesting thought (Pratchett&Sharpe), I have never read a humurous book, though read joke books. I guess the closest would be Australian Actor William McInness, just adore him, I like his humour and the way he thinks. I've read one of his books, William is a serious actor but he is also slightly hinting at being funny.
My daughter and I being fans of the Catherine Tate Show when she was in school, we seen her Live in November 2018 and we got to meet her, Catherine was out walking with her daughter too in George Street. I love her and have read one of her books. I have her complete dvd series. I love when she acts the gay man but so many other skits can't really say a favourite.

My family always watched The Two Ronnies and Fawlty Towers, loved the German skit 'don't mention the war' ha! ha!
When I was in 5th class I wanted to be a comedian and remember trying to do a 2 Ronnies skit in front of the class when teacher said if anyone wanted to do anything. I wasn't very good but at least I had a good try. It was 1971 and The Two Ronnies were on our televisions a lot. I only love the British comedies, love Black Books got that DVD too.
There use to be an indigenous comedy on the ABC I enjoyed watching "Black Comedy" so funny and Steph Tisdell is fantastic, stand up comedian.

Loved the Games back in 1999/2000 on ABC it was so witty and Utopia. I think the latter is on Netflix. Those australian comedians in those two shows were on our screens a lot in the 1980's with their own shows Fast Forward and so many other from that group, Comedy Company.
Oh yes, Optimism: That's why I wrote I use to be optimistic but not anymore, in other words, don't like the word much.

Thank you for the interaction, I googled the word 'blech' found it. Hope you are feeling better tonight.
Until next time, cheers🫶🏻

Re: Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Wed, 17 May 2023 09:24:51 GMT

Hello

Hello Gail

I have the box set of Black Books

All three of them were so different yet so good

This will have to be brief

I am using mobile phone and keyboard is too narrow along with visible screen

spend more timeediting

I am not familiar with Australian comedians though might know them if I see them.

I love reading several classifications of fiction

Yourself?

Are we supposed to write to champions and other officials or are they here for support?

Take care

Re: Do not feed the monster

quirkywords — Wed, 17 May 2023 10:20:49 GMT

Emotions 26

The Forum can take a while to navigate. I can see people have replied and you have replied to them.
As a champion I try to reply to posts where I can help people .

By being honest and sharing with others you have helped people reading your posts so they don’t feel alone

Thanks for reaching out.

Re: Do not feed the monster

james1 — Wed, 17 May 2023 13:02:17 GMT

Hello Emotions26 and HelloGail,

Oh what a coincidence that we got onto talk of Black Books. I actually just saw Dylan Moran in Sydney on...Tuesday? I've seen him twice now and really like his style of comedy. I thought this time he was a little off compared to his previous shows, but he still had some real gems.

I also saw Bill Bailey once just before 2018 and loved how he includes music in his shows. It's really fun.

I hope you are both doing okay today.

James

Re: Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Wed, 17 May 2023 13:08:16 GMT

Thank you quirkywords

I understand that people like myself join the forums to be heard. Many people who don’t feel heard have kind hearts.

Thank you for your support.

Re: Do not feed the monster

Emotions26 — Wed, 17 May 2023 14:09:29 GMT

Hello James 1 and Hello Gail

I agree it is very difficult to come across as so inebriated and be smart witted at the same time. He seems so realistic.

As we’re Bill Bailey and I can’t think of her name at present.
I watch them over and over.
Comedy is great medicine.

Re: Do not feed the monster

mmMekitty — Thu, 18 May 2023 13:15:34 GMT

Hi Emotions26

Yes, you are allowed to create more than one discussion. When you have made a discussion/s, you can find them in a link 'your discussions', somewhere near the top of your screen, I think. (I'm guessing because I don't use my mobile for this, & the way the site appears may be different in some ways to how I see it on my PC).

Yeah, the Champions do make an effort to support people here on BB. All the Champions had, once upon a time, joined BB like everyone else.

If you are not sure about which section to put your new discussion in, it's okay to ask BB, by email: modsupport@beyondblue.org.au

Terry Pratchett is one of my favourite authors. I so wish we could have had even more than all the books he had written during his life. I feel like I cannot get enough of his stories. I enjoy the audiobook format. I have listened to the books several times over & seem to hear more & more content, like thoughts between the thoughts, & enjoy what I hear more each time. The books are so rich in detail & ideas, social commentary & philosophy, as well as the more obvious humour, all the puns, situations - everything!

I was happy to see the dreaded D has been lifting. Do you think there is anything you do that helps to get the dreaded D to lift?

Hugzies

mmMekitty