topic Re: Would the Grim Reaper hurry up in Depression

PAIN!

Malen — Mon, 03 Apr 2023 06:05:45 GMT

I have SI Joint Dysfuntion, I had an RFA recently. Recovery was supposed to be 48 hrs. Its been 12 days now since the procedure and the pain is worse than the pain I had before the procedure, in some rarer circumstances it can take up to 6 weeks for recovery.

Im still on the pain killers I was on before the procedure, which is alot. Like one med needs a new prescription written each fortnight. Another needs a doctor with a certain license to presscribe it. Now we have been adding more common but still hard to get pain meds on top of that to try and get the pain under control.

I should mention an RFA is where they go in and burn the nerves where the spine and hip joins, its supposed to eliminate the pain from the problem there.

I probably shouldnt have had the procedure when I did as I was in the midst of a brief psychotic episode, not that I was aware of it. Ive been incredibly depressed which is making the pain worse.

Pain and mental health often go hand in hand which sucks and is so not fair.

Problem taking meds

Malen — Mon, 03 Apr 2023 12:53:26 GMT

I had spinal surgery a little less than 2 weeks ago. I had my standard pain meds as have been in pain for over 20 years but the surgery has added to my pain significantly, it was supposed to be a 48 hour recovery time but in rare instances it can be a 6 week recovery. I have the fun of the rare instance. I ran out of additional pain meds over the weekend, figured id tough it out until I saw my GP tomorrow. I gave in and saw a GP today. Got pain meds. Problem is they are taking a while to get my pain under control, in the mean time I am nauses. Real problem is I need to take my meds and I need to eat with my meds. I have issues taking my meds because I keep thinking they are poison. They are also very expensive (I spend like $500 a month on meds alone) and financially in a bad way due to my medical situation. I really just want to take my meds at this point and go to bed. Ive taken my 2nd dose of pain meds early (its ok I was on that dose recently) along with meds to deal with anxiety incase it was my raging anxiety causing the nausea. Which as I write this I remember the combination of both makes both express themselves much stronger, hence the incredible drowsyness. Nausea or not I think Im gonna have to have my meds and eat and hope for the best

Re: PAIN!

Bob_22 — Tue, 04 Apr 2023 06:37:34 GMT

Hi Malen,

Thanks for your post. I'm sorry to hear the pain from your surgery is till ongoing. Yes indeed, depression and other mental health issues can amplify pain (especially nerve pain). I remember when I first was diagnosed with bursitis in my shoulder I thought I had dislocated my shoulder due to how much pain I had. It turns out it was nothing but mild inflammation and that my anxiety was what was amplifying the pain. After I learned about the link between pain and health anxiety I was able to cope more effectively.

I hope your pain improves soon and that you are able to get your psychosis under control.

Keep us updated and take care of yourself.

Bob

Re: PAIN!

Malen — Tue, 04 Apr 2023 12:12:34 GMT

Cheers, yeah I knew of the link for a while. Been in pain for over 20 years and part of the treatment was anti-depressants even early on.

Im on a pain patch as my primary management. Im on never pain meds as well. Now they have added a different strong pain med but the combination of all 3 is making me super drowsy. I ended up sleeping this afternoon after the 3 of 4 for the day, knocked my socks off. Not real sure how I going to handle going forward, dont want have to have naps every day

Would the Grim Reaper hurry up

Malen — Thu, 06 Apr 2023 07:01:59 GMT

Im currently in so much pain, Im on a lot of painkillers normally but had a spinal procedure that was supposed to be all good in 48 hours, though in rare cases up to 6 weeks. I got that one and have been put on extra pain killers, which make me super drowsy so I am stretching out so 3 doses a day not 4 and yet still pretty drowsy. Can manage a trip into town in the morning but from there on, home bound unless I get my Dad to take me.

I cant help at home in any way. My Mum doesnt come out her room for reasons i dont understand or think is complete BS, so Dads looking after her. My sister is in hospital after an attempt, I deal with the doctors but Dad is having to go see her. Now he has to look after me, where I have been doing a lot of the looking after.

Not being able to help is making the depression worse, though the constant desire to sleep is up there as well. There has been alot going on in life. Like Mum only just got home from hospital. Sister has been out of hospital 5 days in past 5 months. I did a lot of the driving to see her - an hour trip each way - dealt with her doctors, her msgs and phone calls. I havent been paid since mid-Jan (on unpaid leave to look after sister) so borrowing from sister and Dad so now owe even more money and I was screwed before hand.

All pushed me over the edge. Depression is real. Im not suicidal but would the Grim Reaper hurry up...

If things dont improve Ill be forced to seek hospitalisation.

Re: Would the Grim Reaper hurry up

smallwolf — Wed, 05 Apr 2023 11:27:32 GMT

hello.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through so much at the moment and the resulting pain and discomfort it is also causing -both physically and emotionally.

It sounds like you're really struggling with a lot right now, and it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and helpless. It's okay to not be able to help out as much as you usually would, and it's important to prioritize your own health and recovery. Then you will be able to do more of what you want to do, and that sounds like helping out etc.

Please know that seeking help is a sign of strength. It might not seem that way.

And it might not seem like much, but I'm here to listen and support you in any way I can.

Re: Would the Grim Reaper hurry up

Beth_123 — Wed, 05 Apr 2023 14:28:04 GMT

Dear Malen,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of pain and challenges in your family, which can certainly take a toll on your mental health.

It is understandable that not being able to help at home is making your depression worse. However, please know that it is okay to take a break and focus on your own well-being during this time. It is not your responsibility to take care of everyone else, especially when you are in pain yourself.

I understand that you are not suicidal, but your thoughts about the Grim Reaper are concerning. It is important to seek help before things escalate. Please consider talking to a therapist or a mental health professional to help you manage your depression.

In the meantime, there are some things you can do to cope with your pain and depression. It might be helpful to set small, achievable goals for yourself, such as taking a short walk or reading a book for a few minutes each day. Engaging in activities that you enjoy, such as listening to music or watching a movie, can also help you feel better.

Additionally, try to communicate your needs with your family members. Let them know how you are feeling and what you need from them to help you feel better. It might also be helpful to talk to your doctor about adjusting your pain medication, as the drowsiness could be contributing to your depression.

Remember, you are not alone in this. Seeking help is a sign of strength, and there are resources available to support you through this difficult time.

Take care.

Re: Would the Grim Reaper hurry up

therising — Wed, 05 Apr 2023 22:04:51 GMT

Hi Malen

While you face so much of what goes against your nature, my heart goes out to you. Sounds like it's in your nature to be a carer, given how much you've cared for your sister and others. Sounds like it's in your nature to enjoy being financially independent. If it's in your nature to feel deeply for others, I imagine you're struggling with sensing how your dad feels his challenges. If it's in your nature to feel energetic, feeling next to no energy can definitely be depressing. While discharge from hospital will come with instructions for physical recovery, it typically doesn't come with instructions on how to take care of mind and soul within a period of recovery that may go against our nature.

I suppose you could say for up to 6 weeks you won't be entirely your natural self, with the pain and meds stopping you from being you in certain ways. Not sure if it will help but could you consider looking into untapped parts of yourself during this time? A few examples

The inner researcher. If you have access to a laptop in bed, what would researching the nervous system and pain management look like? How about managing inflammation levels through stress reduction? While there are plenty of meds that help reduce stress, how many natural forms of stress reduction are out there? Researching basic aspects of biology and cellular repair could also become a new interest
The inner poet. Expressing your feelings, appreciation, compassion etc for your dad in heartfelt ways could be another avenue. Doesn't have to be poetry, can simply come in the form of letters. For him to read how much he is appreciated, how deeply you feel for him through such a trying time and how exhausted you believe he may be could come as a huge relief for him
The inner seer. Even if you can't see the way forward for yourself right now, can you see in your mind the way forward for your dad? What images come to mind? Do you see someone coming into the house, in a caring capacity, so your dad can go out for a bit of 'me time'? With your sister, can you see Zoom calls as a form of remote support?

I hope you experience greater pain relief well before the 6 week mark and you come out of this knowing more about yourself than ever before. Btw, is there a possibility your mum could be facing depression, something only your dad knows about?

Pain and Depression

Malen — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 02:37:03 GMT

I had an injection of anti-inflammatories a couple days ago. It helped with my pain for about 36 hours and now its back. Not handling it. Emailed specialist but havent heard from him. Got a GP appt this afternoon just in case. Im desperate for something to deal with this pain. Its intense and making me more depressed than I was before.

I went to the Urgent Mental Health Care Centre yesterday. It was good they gave me some resources but the talk with the clinician was kinda weird. Like it missed an outcome. They agreed I had a lot on my plate and that I was overwhelmed. They agreed my medical issues were enough on their own but with everything else you know its just more than anyone could handle. That was kinda it, then it was heres some resources, would have liked them to go through some stuff so I had more than paper to take home. I mean Im really depressed, Im struggling to do anything, going to them and waiting like 4 hrs to see someone was huge, I need something tangable that I can work with now, now I have to get the energy to sit and read. I know im writing this, but its different somehow.

Pain, depression and anxiety, along with with my Bipolar 2 with psychotic features (which are playing), all the shit at home, my sister being in hospital, shes been home 5 days in 5 months, her attempt, me seeing doctors and specialist more than I see anyone else, all the surgeries, the spinal one has gone wrong hence the pain, all the medication all the money its too much and I dont know how to cope anymore. I am not a danger to myself or others but as I say I wish the grim reaper would hurry up, like really move it

Hey Malen, Thanks for sharing what’s going on for you he...

Sophie_M — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 03:44:03 GMT

Hey Malen, Thanks for sharing what’s going on for you here. It sounds like you’ve taken some incredible steps in researching and advocating for your healthcare, but you’re not feeling understood. We’re really sorry to hear that, and we’re grateful for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others who might understand some of what you’re going through. We want to let you know that the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or online. We’d really recommend reaching out to talk these feelings through and think about creating a Safety Plan for those difficult moments. We’d also encourage you to keep your prescribing doctor updated on what’s going on for you and seek a second opinion from a differing doctor to get some more perspective on your treatment options. We are here to support you and you are not alone. Thank you so much for sharing here. Please feel free to share a bit more and let us know what is going on for you, and what might help, if you feel comfortable. Kind regards, Sophie M

Shit sandwich

Malen — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 07:25:13 GMT

Things have just been going from bad to worse. Ive been stuggling with my MH for a while now. I went to a MH care centre yesterday to get some help. So So.
On Sunday my pain was unbearable so I went to the ER. They gave me a shot of anti-inlammatory which calmed things down until around 3 this morning. I went to my local clinic after something better than they really strong pain killers they had been giving me but no, back to the pain killers. They do lower the pain but make me so drowsy even at the lower dose Ive been taking they had 1 every 4hrs Ive been doing every 6. So in more pain but not so drowsy so I can at least use my tablet. Either way I cant help around the house.

I finally got in touch with my specialist who after a few calls we have an appointment on the 19 face to face. So I get to be messed up for another 8 days.

I hope this is ok. Im not actually suicidal but being in intense pain with a crap management plan hit me and I very quickly went from in pain to I have a plan, I have the resources, screw it Im done. It didnt last long, it was brief but for a moment I did understand my sister.

They have to get this pain undercontrol. There is so much more going on in my life thats messing me up and making my MH bad but surely they can manage this damned pain

Re: Shit sandwich

smallwolf — Wed, 12 Apr 2023 06:28:22 GMT

Hey there!

I'm so sorry to hear that things have been getting worse for you and that you've been struggling with your mental health and physical pain.

It's great that you reached out for help at the mental health care center and that you were able to get an appointment with your specialist. It sounds like the pain management plan hasn't been working as well as you'd hoped, and understand this would be very frustrating and discouraging. Hang in there, and keep reaching out for the support you need.

I am not sure what I can say to make things better. What sort of things do you get up to during the day?

Re: Shit sandwich

Ggrand — Wed, 12 Apr 2023 07:06:10 GMT

Hello Dear Malen,

I can relate to your words so much…around 4 months ago I fell and have damaged both my rotor cuffs on both shoulders…and the pain I’m going through daily then trying to sleep at night is a nightmare…I finally get to see my Orthopaedic Surgeon on the 19th of this month to see what course of action he will take…I have been counting down the days to his appointment now for a few weeks…each day is one day closer to get my pain sorted out…

I am taking each day as it comes, strong pain relief that doesn’t really do much at all..so I’ve been doing some mindfulness when ever I can to help take my mind off the pain…sometimes it works other times it doesn’t…I can’t do simple things at home anymore, Gee I can’t even drive my car, comb my hair, get dressed without chronic pain… I felt I had enough and SI thoughts, slipped into my thoughts…I fought through them…and now working through each day the best I can as well as looking forward to my Orthopaedic Surgeons visit…

For now your in pain Dear Malen, your doing the best you can to get through each day…and that’s more then good enough…The important thing is to take care of you, everything else can wait until your feeling better up to doing them…so please don’t be too hard on your beautiful self…

My kindest thoughts with my hope for you that your specialist will be able to help you..

Grandy..

Hoping so much that when you visit your specialist that he/she can help you to heal quickly…

Re: PAIN!

Malen — Thu, 13 Apr 2023 07:20:54 GMT

Im having to take the pain meds every 4 hours to deal with my pain, I was doing it every 6 hours, its prescribed ever 4hrs so Im ok. But it making me so much more drowsy. The first one or two tablets Im ok but after that it just gets worse and worse. I get to a point that I just cant concentrate on anything. Even typing this Im struggling and I still have more meds to go, I did start late today too. In the morning with the first 2 tablets the pain is still there, its not until the third that the pain is gone. So at no point in the day am I both pain free and drowsy free to do much at all. got another 6 days minimum of this

Re: PAIN!

Malen — Sat, 15 Apr 2023 07:42:17 GMT

The pain like Ive been kicked in the back by a horse has gone away but the blade just above my butt crack feeling is getting more intense and harder to manage. I really hope the pain specialist has some bright ideas on the 19th cause the only idea I have isnt great

Re: PAIN!

Malen — Sun, 16 Apr 2023 02:53:21 GMT

I am aware that stress can cause me to have overwhelming symptoms. Its the only trigger I have been able to confirm however I just had to clean out the front seat of the car as my sister is coming home. It wont be often but I will need to drive her into town so she will need somewhere to sit. She cant drive due to an issue with her eyes that is trying to be corrected.

Anyhow the amount of pain I was in by the end of it was intense, incredible pain. I started seeing things, a pig and a dog etc. so maybe extreme pain triggered this. Not that its going to be a common thing but its good to know.