topic My counsellor thinks I need to have a "meltdown" in Depression

My counsellor thinks I need to have a "meltdown"

Stuck14 — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 07:30:07 GMT

I have been fighting to keep myself here for a long time now and am really wondering why I bother. I don't have anyone or anything in my life that is keeping me here. I feel like I'm a punching bag, taking hit after hit. My gp has prescribed medication an I don't know what to do. I have had alot of bad experiences with meds an I just don't want it to stop me from being able to express myself when I allow it. My counsellor thinks I need to have a "meltdown" an just allow it to happen, an I know they are right, I don't know how to tho. Sorry, it's not making much sense. I just don't know what to do anymore? What's the point?

My counsellor thinks I need to have a "meltdown"

A93 — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 08:16:29 GMT

Hey there!

I would just like to say you are a very brave and caring person! The fact that you came online and mustered all of that and typed it up is very brave, and it also shows how much you care about yourself, that you want to fix what you feel is broken, and that is the right you have upon yourself. Thank you.

I would just like to say that the advice your counselor gave you is not the best advice, people feel that after a meltdown they feel better, and they might, but its short lived, you will wake up the next day and the feeling will still be there. So I suggest we seek an alternative to a meltdown. You should not be trying to stop your emotions and ignore them, because that’s not the goal, the goal is to try and overcome them, not shut them out and pretend they’re not there. You feel how you feel and that’s the reality. Everyone feels something, and you’re taking the right step by trying to overcome it and not just live with it.

We are all human beings, and our emotions fluctuate, they go up and go down. We are all going through something, so don’t feel like you’re alone. You are a human being, and you have a purpose in this world, whether you realise it or you don’t, you’re here for a reason, and I know that sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. My sincere advice to you, as a friend, is to find something worth living for, something worth waking up for. Moral support is good, people are good, but they are humans, and have their own things to deal with too. Search for something that brings peace to your heart, find what is good for your soul. What have you done in your past that has brought joy to your heart? That has given you purpose? do that and do it more often.

There is a point to life, and its not about having the best job, and the best car, with the best spouse, drowning in riches. This is all materialistic stuff, that can actually make a person worse. So don’t base your happiness on these things, don’t compare yourself, don’t measure yourself up, you are you. You are unique, and there is goodness within you. But maybe you’re such a modest and humble person, you don’t want to admit it. I know there is good in you, and there can be more good in you. Just find the goodness, and ditch the bad stuff. You probably wonder how do I ditch something that I feel every second of the day? It may be hard at the start because you have made it a habit to feel like this, to the point, when its not there, you feel like its strange to be without it, so you will reel it back in.

Your life is valuable, and its not fair for a person to decide I don’t want to be here anymore. You are here, you were brought here, for a purpose. You have a body, a heart, and a soul. You are so deserving of being here, and contributing to something. Look at the beauty within your life, you can see, you can hear, you can breathe, you have all these working faculties, you have a home, you have food, and water, you have the ability to read, write, compare, contrast, reason etc. And even if you didn’t have all of this, there is beauty within everyones life. You are beautiful.

Find something stable and true that is worth living for. Believe in something.

My counsellor thinks I need to have a "meltdown"

Beetle — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 09:54:18 GMT

Hey stuck

Sounds like you need a hug

I can understand your fear of meds. I was the same.i actually had to break down and be in the deepest pit to accept them. I am now better than ever before. I was lucky to get a drug that worked for me quickly.When you are in a dark place like you we don't think straight. I wasn't.

Please try to accept the meds and give them a go

They may save your life

They saved mine

Beetle

My counsellor thinks I need to have a "meltdown"

Stuck14 — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 10:12:57 GMT

Thanx Beetle.

It's just so much has happened and is happening an I just don't know if I have the strength or desire to fight anymore. Most days I wish the earth would swallow me up whole so then it wouldn't have to be something I'd have to decide on. I feel I've lost control of everything in my life except my release of emotions, or should I say the fact that I can hold them in. I don't know how to let go without losing control an I don't want to take the meds incase it removes that control or suppresses everything more. I just don't know. I honestly believe that I'm an unnecessary burden to all who know me. It's tiring fighting for an existence when your invisible to everyone.

My counsellor thinks I need to have a "meltdown"

geoff — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 23:16:44 GMT

dear Stuck, firstly I'm so pleased that you have reached out to us, because depression is such an awful illness that does literally swallow us up.

Well let's acknowledge that you are already in a melt-down situation, because you are facing it now, depression puts us there straight away, not anywhere else, not over there, and not heading for this direction, but depression equals melt-down.

With your emotions they are only locked in simply because you don't have anybody close to you who you can release these important emotions with, your GP or your counsellor aren't the people, because this is on a professional level, so you don't take this as being personal.

Is there a friendly person who has been in contact with you, as they themselves may have needed someone to confide in.

You really need to release your emotions, to physically express them to someone, and this means to cry if you feel like it, but they can't keep on building up within you. Geoff.

My counsellor thinks I need to have a "meltdown"

Stuck14 — Mon, 10 Mar 2014 02:10:58 GMT

I don't have anyone in my life that I can lean on. My support network consists of my gp an counsellor, that's it. I have supported others when they were needing it, but the moment I start needing support there's nobody to be seen. I haven't allowed myself to cry in 18 months an so much has happened in that time that I just can't accept any of it. When my counsellor says "meltdown" they mean to just cry an let it out. I can't tho. An it's not that I don't trust them, coz I do. In 14 years, they are the best I've had. They reassure me that it's a safe environment for me an I believe them. But, I'm so terrified of not being able to stop an losing control. I don't trust that I won't just end it afterwards. I think the thing I'm afraid of most, is having to accept that it's all real an that it did/is happening. I'm still just waiting to wake up from this nightmare an for life to be somewhat manageable again. I can talk about it all but it has no meaning to it. But I can feel it all starting to bubble to the surface now tho. I feel I'm starting to loose control of the one thing I have. A part of me wishes I could cry, I think it might make me feel a little lighter, not so weighed down an heavy. But the aftermath of that is something l can't bare to even consider.

I'm sorry for this, it probably doesn't even make any sense