topic Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling in Depression

Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Beaser — Thu, 08 Sep 2022 01:31:45 GMT

Hi to everyone and best wishes. I have found myself feeling very sad and lonely after Fathers Day. Im a 56 year old man but i still miss my Father and find these days so hard. Im not a Father myself so i guess its loneliness as well. I split with my girlfriend in Aprill and i just have this constant feeling that i need to contact her. I havent done so for ten days but i just so want to. All my friends tell me not to but i just feel so lonely after the weekend and feel the need to reach out. I have posted regularly this year so i hope thats ok.. I was wondering if anyone has any similar feelings or advice.. My best wishes to all Beaser.

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Petal22 — Thu, 08 Sep 2022 12:06:12 GMT

Hi Beaser,

Lovely to hear from you and I’m sorry you are feeling this way I understand it’s hard.

I understand you would miss your own father they are such a support in our lives.

If you want to call your girlfriend you split from that’s totally up to you……. I understand your friends have told you not to but it’s not their decision it’s yours.

You are welcome to post on this forum as many times as you like.

We are always happy to hear from you 😊

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

geoff — Thu, 08 Sep 2022 15:01:18 GMT

Hello Beaser, someone being in your position you would definitely miss your father and that can be very difficult to accept, I'm sorry for you.

If you want to contact your girlfriend that's a decision you need to make, but there has been no contact with her in the last 10 days and whether this has been because you haven't done so or perhaps she decided not to, or it's only been you to have contacted her, then please be careful.

May be you send her a text and see if you get a response, could be easier for you, but just look after yourself.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Beaser — Thu, 08 Sep 2022 20:08:13 GMT

Thank you Petal.

Its always great to hear from you and i really respect and value what you say . I know that im not alone in missing my father and family in general.

And i guess its obvious that its increased my loneliness and made me miss my ex girlfriend even more . I know its my decision not to call or not. I am just scared of pushing her further away and even becoming annoying to her. I have to respect her feelings and that is probably that she wants to be left alone.

Thanks again Petal. I am very happy to talk more. I wish you a Happy Day.

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Beaser — Thu, 08 Sep 2022 20:14:49 GMT

Thans Geoff.

I always love to hear from you and thank you.

I always miss my Dad and Fathers Day is always tough particularly with my life events at the monent.

I think your right about the text if i do make contact ,maybe even in a jovial and Happy way . As you say i need to be careful and protect myself.

Your a great contributor to these forums and i am one of many who really value and am thankful for it. Have a Happy Day Geoff.

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Petal22 — Fri, 09 Sep 2022 01:55:35 GMT

That’s ok Beaser 😊

I understand in regards to your ex but as Geoff has said please be careful and look after yourself.

A relationship even with a friend should go both ways you should get back what you put in.

Sometimes I believe if we aren’t getting back what we put it then our energy can be put else where in a positive way.

You could start by putting your energy into other places and in turn meet new people and maybe a special person along the way.

Your person is out there and this person will want to give you back what you put in.

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Beaser — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 00:36:38 GMT

Thank you Petal.

Just been a tough time of late . Im going out today to the footy so at least im getting out. I think the heart of it all is that im just so lonely at times. I think thats why i felt the need to see friends when i was with my girlfriend.I just felt i needed that connection that i dont have family wise. If that makes sense. Hope you have a Happy Day. Brett.

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Petal22 — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 11:04:16 GMT

That’s ok Beaser 😊

I hope you enjoyed the football.

Its great that you are getting out and about.

I understand that feeling lonely would be hard at times and I understand that you want connection.

Have you thought about joining any new groups or hobbies where you can meet new people and feel more connected?

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

ecomama — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 12:52:26 GMT

Dear Brett, I'm sorry your Father's Day was tough missing your dad. Hugs.

Do you want to talk about your dad?

I just read a reply on my thread as I went to a Memorial today for an absolutely wonderful man (certainly not my father), the loss of this man has hit me really hard. He meant so much to everyone.

The reply was spot on.... that he was worth grieving for.

Your dad sounds like he was very much worth grieving for too.

Simultaneously to being SO sad about the loss of this man today, it was my father's birthday. My Uncle usually sends me a text today as HE grieves the loss of his brother. He didn't today.

Did you want to tell me a story about your dad?
Was he funny?
Did he like the footy like you do? (or is that a stupid question lol?)

I'd bet my house that he was a great dad. Do you know why?
Because he raised a GREAT son.

You're compassionate and caring, kind and ever so polite.

Thinking of you
EM

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Beaser — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 21:35:19 GMT

Thanks Ecomama.

Thank You for your kind reply.

My father was a great man he was returned service man and he was a kind gentle man who put others before himself. He did love the footy but we barracked for different teams.

He was a funny man who loved a joke but some of them werent as good as he thought LOL.

I miss him so much . Im pretty lost at the moment i feel i have no one and that i ruined my relationship with my girlfriend by being insecure and jealous because of certain things that i shouldnt have.

I encouraged her to have her friends male and female . Its just when she stayed friends and texted with ex guys that she met online i didnt handle it and i regret it. I never got angry certainly or even raised my voice but i just got upset... Have i been a bad person for that i feel i have. I hope you have a Happy Day. Love to talk more if you felt ok with it. Brett.

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

ecomama — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 22:22:01 GMT

Hey Brett, I can see the love for your father in your words.

Fancy barracking for different teams! That would've made for lively Sundays! lol.

What I've done for my own life, when I've missed a relative who's passed that I loved deeply and respected ummm quite a lot lol..... I invoke them by doing some things they loved. Things they taught me. Aim to be a bit more like them.

Same with the WWJD thing... I have a few Christian friends at work who are struggling with the work atmosphere... I ask them What Would Jesus Do in this sitch?
We usually tell each other a story of whet He would do, the laugh and usually the stress is lifted for a while.

Brett some times we even miss someone who was toxic. I can attest to that and many others on the forums know that feeling.

Ex GF continuing to message ex BFs or "romantic interests" online is toxic for any current relationship.
Jealousy you may say.
Disrespect from her more like it. Disrespect is a Red Flag.

Sure we can be friends with exes! It can happen.
It's pretty easy to see when they're in the friends zone and when it's more than that.

I've read how much you say you miss your ex, but this ended for good reasons.
How much you say you're lonely.

I'm not sure if you actually miss your ex but miss a special someone in your life?

When I remember the toxic things about a past relationship, I miss them like a hole in the head! lol.
Doesn't stop me from missing "someone" in my life.

I don't really get lonely but I a trillion distractions perhaps.

Take care
EM

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Beaser — Sun, 11 Sep 2022 20:17:56 GMT

I am feeling very flat at the moment ive managed to get myself up for work. I know its best for me to get to work. My heart is aching with sadness . I feel like every time i have a good thing in life i blow it. I feel i started to take my girlfriend for maybe and i lost her because of it. Im tempted to write her a letter but i dont want to hassle her. We split in Aprill so its been awhile now so maybe i need to move on . I know that you can look back and gloss over things too and forget the things that werent so good at times. Sometimes i was a bit easily upset but never angry. Im just so sad about it all . Brett

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Petal22 — Mon, 12 Sep 2022 00:58:11 GMT

Hi Beaser,

I understand we do gloss over things sometimes but Beaser I understand if your ex was texting her ex while she was in a relationship with you then you have every right to be upset about it.

Whats meant for you always will be Beaser it won’t pass you by.

I’m sorry you are feel sad but can I ask you to try to pick yourself up a little bit just by doing simply things every day to help you do this.

Try to just forgive yourself if you feel you need to, this will create a space inside you for healing.

Feed your mind with positive thoughts.

I am worthy

I am love

I am moving forward with my future

Read positive affirmations .

Time heals all wounds.

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Beaser — Mon, 12 Sep 2022 20:44:53 GMT

Thank You Ecomama.

I have so much respect for your thoughts and wise words. And your replies mean so much to me .

You are right that maybe its as much about missing that special person in my life as anything.

I stuck it out after the texts for about six months but i guess it put me on edge and was always on my mind.Im not sure if the texts continued and i certainly didnt snoop.

I know im not perfect either and there were things i should have done better.

I was wondering where your name Ecomama comes from are you a person who loves nature and your surrounds. Thanks again always good to hear from you and i hope you have a Happy Day. Beaser.

Re: Post Fathers Day Sadness. Lonelines and Struggling

Beaser — Mon, 12 Sep 2022 22:36:42 GMT

Thanks Petal .

I really appreciate your reply and thoughts.

Yeh your right about the texts and even though it happened 6 months ago the last time i know of ,prior to our seperation it just played on my mind constantly and had me ruminating about things. They were still interacting on facebook which was hard too. I know im not perfect either and there were things i could have done better. Sometimes i just feel like maybe i blew it by being too sensitive. Im doing my best with things but its just tough at the moment. Thanks again Petal.