topic Depression I need people around me in Depression

Depression I need people around me

Chris D — Thu, 17 Dec 2020 13:02:29 GMT

This is my first time back to BB in quite a few yrs. I am currently at my lowest point in many years, all I'm seeking is people to support me. Hope someone can chat to me.

Depression I need people around me

romantic_thi3f — Fri, 18 Dec 2020 00:26:33 GMT

Hi Chris D,

I'm really glad that you came back to join us- I'm happy to chat and I'm sure others will jump in too.

Feel free to get the ball rolling with what you'd like to chat about 🙂

Depression I need people around me

Chris D — Fri, 18 Dec 2020 01:04:50 GMT

Hi Romantic,

I don't know where to start to talk about things, not really sure what to say.

All I know is that I'm feeling low & need people around me. I need support, just trying to reach out for help.

Depression I need people around me

romantic_thi3f — Fri, 18 Dec 2020 04:27:38 GMT

Hi Chris D,

That's quite alright. Did you want to talk about why you decided to come back? Or even your profile picture? There's no pressure either way.

If you like or it feels more comfortable, you can have a browse on the forums and jump into threads there. Here can be an easy way to start -

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone

Remember, there's also lots of hotlines available to call if you need to talk to a person too.

Depression I need people around me

Chris D — Fri, 18 Dec 2020 07:04:31 GMT

Hi Romantic,
I came back to bb as I need support.
Certain things have happened that increased the presence of my Depression.
I struggle to find ppl that understand me.
I've had my profile pic for a while.
With my circumstances, it really feels like people just gloat & really rub my nose in it.
People just don't understand, I try to explain to ppl what is going on but in the end no one ever understands.
I'd rather be by myself and being left alone.

Depression I need people around me

smallwolf — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 05:16:32 GMT

hi Chris. It sucks when people don't understand what you are going through. It took me a little while to work out who to speak to - the range of responses I would get ranged from cheer up to, why do you...., etc Of course there were a few positive experiences. I would think that people who have some sort of experience get it. For others it can be a bit of a gamble.

Enough about me...

what is it that you would like other people to understand about you?

I guess that when you think that nobody understands you it would better to be alone. But if someone listened and understood, how would you feel then. I hope you come back to chat. I am interested in your story.

Depression I need people around me

AliasKind — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 07:57:43 GMT

Hi Chris D,

I'm like you, in a way. Don't know what to say, I poke around the forums, but seldom comment, I feel I have nothing to add. Depression is so persuasive, it seeps into every facet of one's life. I don't know what it's like for you but for me it ebbs and flows. Loneliness is a big part of my depression (I believe). Not being able to connect with similar, like-minded people.

Just letting you know I'm here, and I'm listening.

Depression I need people around me

Chris D — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 12:08:31 GMT

Hi smallwoof & Aliaskind,

I've had depression for many yrs, I got officially diagnosed in 2013 but I feel I had it for many yrs prior to being diagnosed. I really believe I've had it for at least 20 yrs maybe more which is more than half my lifetime.

I tried to speak to family and friends about it & feel like they listen then they stop when I get to the real deep, hard, strong thought & feelings.

I don't have much confidence in people anymore to truly understand & just to being able to provide what I need, Just someone to listen what I'm saying & understand what it's like for me & what I'm going through.

Many people suggest things which is easier said than done when you know yourself your not in a good frame of mind to be able to do things.

This is when I isolate myself which for me is like a way to recover a little bit, doing what I need to do which is best for me at that particularly point in time.

I appreciate both your responses to my thread & hope that I can assist both of you when you need it.

Thank you

Chris

Depression I need people around me

smallwolf — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 12:27:26 GMT

hi Chris.

In my family I am closest to my mum. We speak/spoke a fair but about mental health stuff but like you family does not want to get real deep - that is because she was already worried enough about me. There is one person that knows "almost" as much as my psychologist - he has been in similar position to myself as we allow each other to be open.

As for friends suggestions.. I tend to ignore those. They mean well but ....

have you been into the social section on the forums here?

By the way... I am 50, married with 2 kids, now out of high school. And based on what I have spoken with my psych ologist/iatrist about it is something that started in my early years. Anyway, if you want to chat about anything!

Lastly, I also collect quotes... things like... it does not matter how slow you move forward as long as you are moving. I cannot remember who wrote that now, but is something that keeps my going.

Tim

Depression I need people around me

AliasKind — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 23:28:28 GMT

Hi Chris,

I think so many people can relate to feeling like they've lived with depression a long time prior to a diagnosis or such. I know I can. I feel a little sad that I waited so long to get help, how one's life course could of been different.

How different things could be if we had a partner in this, someone to negotiate with and find compromise to activities or tasks, a person willing to go the distance, alongside. I hear what you say when you retreat and isolate yourself, of course isolating can be (not always) negative also. Add to feelings of loneliness and begin the negative cycle again.

I've read somewhere depression is common to start in teenage years, so I'm not surprised you've had it more than half your life. Of course a lot of the time, it gets misconstrued as teenage hormones etc.

I'm glad you've joined and thanks for writing back. It is lovely to be heard and responded too. 🙂

Hope you have a good day

Depression I need people around me

Chris D — Sun, 20 Dec 2020 03:18:37 GMT

Hi Smallwood & Aliaskind,

It is sometime frustrating trying to talk to the ones you love but also for me personally I don't want to burdened them with what is going on with me.

I feel much more comfortable coming to BB or getting help on other sites. I feel like I'm heard, understood & have a voice to which people listen to the words that are spoken.

I have ppl ask me how I'm going & I feel like I can't be completely honest with them meaning I'm not telling them completely how I'm feeling.

I hate not being completely honest with ppl I feel like I'm lying to them which makes me feel worse as I'm not that sort of person.

This thought of lying to ppl just feeds the condition, it's like it feeds itself making it more stronger than the time before.

You know yourself best so you know that something isn't right. As time goes by you begin to notice the same thoughts & feelings becoming more prominent on a more frequent basis.

There becomes a point in ones life when you realise you have a mental illness, after this you need to learn quickly how to look after yourself & working out your coping mechanisms before things spiral out of control.

Chris

Depression I need people around me

AliasKind — Sun, 20 Dec 2020 22:54:32 GMT

Hi Chris,

That is the benefit of the forums, as you so eloquently put it, heard, understood and have a voice which is listened too. I'm not sure the people in your life would feel it's a burden, nevertheless it is hard to open up and show vulnerabilities when it isn't reciprocated.

I think it's common for people not to talk about how they're really going. How often do people ask and the common response is 'I'm good' or 'fine thank you' and it's referred to as being polite, rather than lying.

I wonder do you see mental health professionals? A doctor or psychologist/psychiatrist? I see all three. That could ease the worry of things spiralling out of control.

Depression I need people around me

smallwolf — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 07:06:34 GMT

On people asking how you are... I have on occasion replied, that depends on the answer you want. I am not trying to be rude and some who genuinely ask say ...

The real answer

That is what works for me. I guess I have gotten used to lying. Otherwise I was chatting with someone and his comment was when his wife asked him a similar question was that it wasn't any one thing in particular and perhaps a whole bunch of things creating a perfect storm.

How are you going with your coping strategies?

Depression I need people around me

emsym — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 08:30:30 GMT

Here for you ♥️

Depression I need people around me

Chris D — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 12:13:40 GMT

Hi all,

I must firstly say, I appreciate all of your posts & words of support.

I am slowly making my way back to where I need to be. I have been doing what is best for me & basically looking after myself.

My coping mechanisms are starting to work, it has taken abit of time to get them to work for what I need them too.

I still need to link in with professionals which is a battle at the moment. The reception at where I see my psychiatrist are giving me grieve & won't let me see my psychiatrist. The reason is, because I didn't see my psychiatrist for quite sometime I am now classified as a new patient & so the receptionist have stated to me that my psychiatrist isn't taking new patients.

Basically in short the receptionist are stopping me from seeing my psychiatrist, which I'm not too impressed about.

Nothing was meant to be easy in life, it's certainly a challenge.

I am starting to talk a little more & letting ppl know how I am & how I have been feeling in recent days.

My first step to get back on track was seeking assistance on BB.

To acknowledge you have a mental health concern is the first step in recovery. In many cases recovery last a lifetime you need to learn on the run what works & what doesn't.

Thank you
Chris

Depression I need people around me

AliasKind — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 22:19:38 GMT

Hey Chris,

I feel proud of you, taking steps, noticing improvements, opening up to people. Good on you! It's a little inspiring. I'd love to hear more about your coping strategies, if your open to it.

It must be so frustrating to have the receptionists deny you. One would think continuity of care would be important. I wish you well with this. These additional battles are certainly meant to try us. I truly hope you have success.

Depression I need people around me

smallwolf — Tue, 22 Dec 2020 01:25:49 GMT

What you said about trying to see your psychiatrist would certainly be frustrating!

It is good to hear that you are speaking with others how you are feeling. I found it is better than trying to hold the feelings inside. And your coping mechanisms are working again? Remember you are putting into practice everything that you have learnt. I am not sure if I told you about a walk up the mountain analogy but it sounds like you might be coming up out of the valley and onto a new path.

Following you, Tim

Depression I need people around me

Chris D — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 10:01:02 GMT

Hey,

Each day I'm getting abit of mental strength back to do things.

Today I was able to do something I hadn't been able to do for about a wk or more. It wasn't much but it was more than what I managed in the days prior.

The clinic at where my psychiatrist is closed until the end of the first wk in January. I was able to call them today only to find out there closed.
Fustrating to say the least.

My coping mechanisms vary day to day he by hr, they can range from listening to music, watching tv, laying down or even just sitting outside. In saying this, you need to do what is best for you at one particular time.

I've learned many coping mechanisms over the yrs from when I was first diagnosed. I basically had to learn on the go what worked & what didn't.

I think the biggest mental scar for me would be knowing I had it for so many yrs yet I couldn't tell anyone. To have something so strong & powerful in my head for a long period of time is going to take many yrs or even the rest of my lifetime to get over.

This current low feeling is nothing compared to what I've had. I was worse than a train wreck back then.
When I was very depressed I fell straight through hell & kept falling. I thought black was dark but it nothing to what I seeing in my head back then.

Depression I need people around me

AliasKind — Sat, 26 Dec 2020 01:47:10 GMT

Hi Chris,

Wow that's such positive news, doing things you didn't have the strength for a little while ago. Good on you!

Thanks for describing your coping mechanisms - I've been in a state of ______ I don't even know what to call it. Almost nothingness, not wanting to do anything, nothing to do, just sit and wait - wait for what I don't know, perhaps inspiration. It's a little sad how this is ok to do, nothingness leads to emptiness. Anyway news from me, is I have a job interview on Tuesday approaching. I'm somewhat excited and somewhat nervous. I haven't worked in a long time, so fingers crossed it will amount to something. Could be the spark I need to jumpstart me out of this depressed state. Just filling in time in a more productive way.

I do hope this forum is helping you Chris (& any others reading along) it helps to connect, albeit in an anonymous way. If only there was a way to connect like this in a more personal way.

I hope it's not insensitive to ask, but how did your Christmas go? I hope you got a reprieve and found a reason or two to enjoy the day.

Depression I need people around me

Guest_4643 — Tue, 29 Dec 2020 06:47:47 GMT

Hello ChrisD, how are you doing?