https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/miserable-in-life-contamination-ocd-depression-wishing-i-had-a/m-p/529243#M46166 <P>Hi Highhopes!</P> <P>I too have depression, anxiety and OCD, I can relate to what you go through.</P> <P>I have to check things to make sure their off, doors locked, car is in park/brake is on etc. I also obsess over the fear of hurting myself and other people (obviously I would never do that in a billion years) and terrible intrusive thoughts. I used to hate myself and thought it would be better if I just became a hermit. </P> <P>Its a vicious cycle isnt it?</P> <P>Have you thought about seeing a psychologist? I've been able to recongnise that my ocd is driven by my anxieties and the less anxious I am, the less time I spend checking things and the fewer and less intense the intrusive thoughts are. Its hard work at first, but its worth it. </P> <P>Youre not alone here!</P> Wed, 07 Apr 2021 07:30:34 GMT Gambit87 2021-04-07T07:30:34Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/miserable-in-life-contamination-ocd-depression-wishing-i-had-a/m-p/529242#M46165 <P>Hey all,<BR /> Thanks for your time reading my post. I actually suffer from the following:<BR /> Contamination OCD<BR /> Depression<BR /> Anxiety<BR /> PTSD<BR /> <BR /> My contamination OCD affects every single thing I do in my life and everything everyone else does around me (such as my partner).<BR /> I have extreme anxiety when it comes to bringing something in the house (or even from one area of the house to another sometimes) and even going to the mailbox I have to have a shower (new clothes required).<BR /> After work I shower before touching anything in the house unless I can help it (only door handles I touch and wipe afterwards). I wipe my phone down and the floor behind me.<BR /> I have an extreme phobia of Cigerette smoke and panic being anywhere near it as well as get panicked seeing it on tv.<BR /> I am still productive in some sense as I love gardening but still get frustrated when I get dirt under my nails even though I use latex gloves.<BR /> Even though there is people around me like family and my partner, i'm feeling extremely lonely inside going through this on a day to day basis.<BR /> I am on a particular medication which is helping but there is still a worrying feeling that overlays in everything I do. I'm so worried that bringing something into the house and letting myself touch surfaces will then in itself become contaminated.<BR /> I wish in some ways I could forget what I know. I've struggled with a number of things in life which has eaten away at my self esteem and its now to the point where it latched onto my OCD and I now can't even feel like I can wash my hands properly (let alone anything else in life).<BR /> <BR /> </P> Wed, 07 Apr 2021 05:19:09 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/miserable-in-life-contamination-ocd-depression-wishing-i-had-a/m-p/529242#M46165 highhopes 2021-04-07T05:19:09Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/miserable-in-life-contamination-ocd-depression-wishing-i-had-a/m-p/529243#M46166 <P>Hi Highhopes!</P> <P>I too have depression, anxiety and OCD, I can relate to what you go through.</P> <P>I have to check things to make sure their off, doors locked, car is in park/brake is on etc. I also obsess over the fear of hurting myself and other people (obviously I would never do that in a billion years) and terrible intrusive thoughts. I used to hate myself and thought it would be better if I just became a hermit. </P> <P>Its a vicious cycle isnt it?</P> <P>Have you thought about seeing a psychologist? I've been able to recongnise that my ocd is driven by my anxieties and the less anxious I am, the less time I spend checking things and the fewer and less intense the intrusive thoughts are. Its hard work at first, but its worth it. </P> <P>Youre not alone here!</P> Wed, 07 Apr 2021 07:30:34 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/miserable-in-life-contamination-ocd-depression-wishing-i-had-a/m-p/529243#M46166 Gambit87 2021-04-07T07:30:34Z