topic Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer in Depression

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

lilly2016 — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 11:00:32 GMT

Hi, I haven't been here for a while, I used to be part of the forums struggling with Depression and anxiety, well I'm back. I am terrified of my latest diagnosis of a large cancerous tumor in my bowel which needs to be removed in the next few weeks after delays due to just how busy the hospitals are. I'm scared, I'm anxious, I'm sad, I can't think straight, I'm in pain at times but have strong medication. I have addictions I need to stop pretty much asap! I pray, I cry, I shake and deeply hurt by hurting others by my diagnosis. I think of chemo all the time, the operation, my life. I'm not coping. I haven't told my father and don't know how to, his old and already lost his wife his brother, 2 sons and grandson in the past ten years. I know you can't do anything about any of this but if just one person could pray for me I would be grateful. I'm sad by what this virus has done to the world, the heartache it has caused for so many people, the personal stories I hear, the depression lockdown is causing. I try make the most of the times I feel okay, both physically and mentally but I just fall to pieces sometimes. I'm trying to be strong and pray the lord will give me the strength I need. I'm not brave, nor do I think I deserve the love I get sometimes for some reason, but please look after each other and help each other, please do something kind for someone because it makes so much of a difference in someone's life. We are all in this together. Thank you for listening. Xxx

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

mocha delight — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 11:24:11 GMT

Hi Lilly2016 I kind of understand what your going through as I’ve had 2 stage one melanomas removed and one mole heading that way over the years plus I got the type of moles most likely to become melanomas. And yes it may of been minor compared to yours but melanomas are still cancer and still need to be removed but for me by having a day surgery. If you ever need to chat I’m here for you ok 🤗

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

Guest_1055 — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 11:28:57 GMT

Hello Lilly, you sound like such a beautiful person.

I really don't have any advice or anything but I am listening to you. And I will pray for you.

I had a cancer scare two years ago. It was frightening. And sometimes I do feel fear because of it. If you haven't heard of Chris Wark, I encourage you to seek out his website or book. He had bowel cancer, had surgery for that at age 26 I think. Then he refused all chemo and took care of his body with an abundance of nutrition. Overdosed on nutrition is what he calls it. I highly recommend him, he loves God as well. And he is such a lovely kind and inspiring person. And well researched into all cancer type stuff. Currently his course called square one is showing free of charge online. He shares on how he helped heal his body after surgery and to be free from cancer. And what we can do as well. He is now into his 40's and looks incrediblely healthy.

Keep praying to our heavenly Father for He cares for you. And fear not for I am with you says the Lord. I will never leave or forsake you.

Much love to you Lilly

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

lilly2016 — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 11:43:24 GMT

Thank you for replying, yes it is kinda the same, you still go through the fear and anxiety and uncertainty and probably much more, I do hear you! I am struggling big time and just hope I can get through this and hope everyone around me gets through it too. Thank you for listening it really makes a big difference, as I suffer from depression too its impacted me to a level I just cannot describe. The pain at times mentally is just too much to bear, I feel like I'm whinging a bit but it's my way of reeling in some support, support I really need, I'm fairly young and my life is changing, I just hope by some miracle I get through this and hopefully I can gain strength in helping others, because I seriously know how they feel right now.

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

lilly2016 — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 11:54:30 GMT

Thank you so much shelll, thank you so much for praying for me, I will probably be on here throughout this personal ordeal I'm going through as I know I need the support and with lovely people like you here what do I have to lose, I will check out the information you have given me tomorrow and I will let you know how I went with it all. I welcome all prayers and value them so much. Thank you for being lovely. I won't forget it.

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

golden82 — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 11:57:36 GMT

hi Lilly,

You are brave - you have poured your situation and feelings out on here for all to see - that is SO brave. I don't really know what to say to help you, but I certainly think there is a lot to be said for 'positive' thinking to try and keep hope and not think worst case scenario etc. Also to focus on yourself for a bit and your mental wellbeing to try and remain as calm as you can for your body and mind. You have been given some wonderful and caring responses so far and I hope you continue to get the support you need. Take care of yourself Lilly 🙂

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

lilly2016 — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 12:27:40 GMT

Thank you for your reply, yes you are right to say try and remain positive, I will really try hard to do that, I will also try remain calm, I find strength sometimes to do this and I'm getting better at it, just got to try and master it now. Thank you for saying I'm strong, I hope I grow much stronger in leaps and bounds, that would be amazing. I really value your reply and want you to know it helps. Thank you.

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

romantic_thi3f — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 23:41:54 GMT

Hi lilly2016,

Thank you for your post- I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through and so glad to see that this community has offered so much support. I won't echo any of it, but if you'd like some more prayers I am more than happy to pray for you as well.

I just wanted to share this resource as well - it's forums like these but specifically cancer related -

https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/I-have-cancer/ct-p/i-have-cancer

and a phone line incase you'd like to talk to someone who 'gets it' and who has cancer themselves -

https://www.cancer.org.au/support-and-services/support-groups/cancer-connect

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

lilly2016 — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 00:23:08 GMT

Thank you RT, yes it is nice to get the support on here and I appreciate it, thank you for your kind words and the information you have given me, I'll check out the links, but most of all thank you so much for praying for me, I believe in the power of prayer. I feel like I've lost my mind at times and struggle to say the right things in prayer, so if others are helping, to me, it makes a difference. Thanks again.

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

Ggrand — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 00:42:45 GMT

Hello Dear lilly....

I am very sorry with what is happening to you...

I believe greatly in the power of prayer 🙏....and will be joining the others here in prayer....

We are all pleased you reached out to us....I am sorry I don’t know the right words to say to you to comfort you a little...Please stay strong and positive...You are a very brave person and I wish and pray so hard for you that you get through this....

I hope you don’t mind me putting this little poem in here..it’s something that I always read..when I feel overwhelmed with different things in life...I hope it helps you by bringing a little bit of peace and calm into your day today..and many other days..

Footprints..

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

Author: Carolyn Joyce

My kind and caring thoughts..dear lilly.

Grandy...

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

golden82 — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 01:19:59 GMT

Lovely Grandy. Thanks for all the support you give us all on here 🙂

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

DedicatedToHealth — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 03:00:30 GMT

Hi lilly2016, I am so incredibly sad to hear about your bad news. Sending you lots of loving comfort. It sounds like you are going through such a rough time and you are right to have all those feelings: about the diagnosis, the treatments, telling people, having strength then feeling vulnerable. You are wonderful to be going through all of this and still send US powerful, positive words to be kind to each other. I am sending you the kindness you have given us, be kind to yourself -you deserve it.

If you do need more help, I know you didn't ask, I have found the Cancer Council the BEST place to talk, vent, be supported and CARED for.

will pray for you, it that's ok.

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

lilly2016 — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 10:04:26 GMT

Thank you Grandy, such a lovely poem about the Footprints in the sand, yes everyone has been so supportive and lovely including you. I am going to check out every link offered to me within these forums, I didn't today as I had a gloomy day and didn't do that much actually. Thank you for joining in on the prayers I appreciate it and will always remember, I won't forget. Thanks again. Xxx

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

lilly2016 — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 10:20:09 GMT

Thank you Dedicated, thank you for your prayers, every prayer is worth so much to me during this time of need, but for me personally, from now on and forever more. I think out of this, yes it will be a huge Rocky Mountain to climb and I hope I don't run out of breath, but on the other side I know my relationship with God will grow and grow. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

Guest_1055 — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 12:06:33 GMT

Thinking of you Lily, hope you are doing OK. No pressure to reply or anything.

Shell

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

lilly2016 — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 16:55:28 GMT

Thank you Shelll, thanks for thinking of me, that's so nice just to pop up and say that outta the blue. Well I've been up in a bit of pain, I'm OK but I just can't sleep with it, it's 2.35am I'm hoping to sleep soon. All this worry is exhausting but I had a good day today, I went outside, I went food shopping, had lunch at dad's, watched a bad movie, had vegetarian pizza and a few other things, it doesn't sound like a lot or even very interesting but it's alot more than I have been doing of late, I think I only cried once today, briefly in the morning. It's something. I've been thinking about all the beautiful things in my life and just how fortunate I have been over the years, yes alot of downs and not so good memories too, but so many beautiful memories also. I appreciate the small things in life, like holding a tiny puppy, these kind of things make me smile.

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

geoff — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 18:26:42 GMT

Dear Lilly, I'm so sorry that I hadn't replied already and I can't apologise enough because the support from those above me has been outstanding, especially the poem by Grandy.

When we are diagnosed with any mental illness we have feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and helplessness can also come with a cancer diagnosis, that we understand and know the pressure you are under, but we want to join you along this journey.

Being a father of two, I would only hope that I was told, although I realise that there are many issues I don't know about and appreciate your decision.

My very best.

Geoff.

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

lilly2016 — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 20:39:27 GMT

Thankyou Dear Geoff, yes that poem by Grandy gives me hope that maybe I am also being carried, who knows its possible. I haven't told Dad because he worries too much and won't handle the news well, I wanted him to get in a few good games of Football first and I have done that. I am telling him mid week next week. Thankyou for your support and mo need to be sorry, as you see above I have some very nice replies full of hope and positive thoughts, encouragement and more.

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

Guest_1055 — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 21:23:27 GMT

Good Morning Lily, you write so nicely. I am sorry you are experiencing a bit of pain there. Have you ever tried a Castor oil pack over where the pain is? It feels incredibly soothing. And also a diffuser in your bedroom with 100% pure lavender oil waffling in the air. The lavender is so very calming and may help you sleep better.

I am so glad you notice the small things in life. And recieve some kind of enjoyment from doing that. Tiny puppies are incredibly cute. They can make me smile as well. Human babies also.

I have no idea what to say now. But I am listening to you.

Shell

Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

Ggrand — Sun, 20 Sep 2020 03:18:01 GMT

Hello Lovely lilly, and everyone...🤗..

I am so pleased you liked the footprints poem..It has given me hope so many times...

I am deeply sorry that you are experiencing pain that is making it difficult for you to sleep...

Its going to be hard lovely lilly to tell your family about what your going through...You have such a beautiful soul not wanting them to struggle with the news you going to disclose to them...I think it’s a good idea to do so...That way your family will also be their for you, with their love, prayers and concern for you...and of corse their their help in you not having to go through this on your own in real life..

Lilly...at night when your trying to sleep, is it possible for you to put on a bible sleep story from you tube and listen to them, while you gently drift of to sleep...they are so comforting and calming...They run for 3 hours, if you fall asleep while listening...that’s okay dear lilly, as it turns itself off when it’s finished...

The little things in nature are truely beautiful, the birds singing, clouds drifting across the dark blue sky, holding a tiny puppy, Listening to the rain...I am so pleased that your beautiful soul can connect to these universal wonders..nature has a way of helping with our soul to heal...

I wish I had the right words to comfort you..I wish and pray that your pain and illness never existed...It makes me so sad that it does...

Always we are here for you lovely lilly, in prayer, best wishes, love and care...

Sending my prayers, my care, and love for you..Dear lilly....You have been in my thoughts with my admiration, care and love since I met you..

Grandy...🙏💜🤗🕊🌱..