topic Could you give me some hope? in Depression

Could you give me some hope?

Bianca4 — Thu, 06 Aug 2020 03:40:45 GMT

Hello, I have reached a very dark place in my mind and felt a little comforted when I found these forums on this website. I'm not one to burden anyone with my 'problems' as I know every person has things on their mind, especially these days during the pandemic. But I am desperate now. I feel I need to post something in the hope that there might be at least one person here who may make me feel that maybe everything will be ok. About 7 weeks ago, I was stood down from my job due to allegations that were created by my Manager and his Boss to undermine my character in order for my Employer to dismiss me. And all because I made a bullying complaint against my Manager. I was bullied at work for months...it left me feeling extremely anxious, depressed and even a little traumatised. When I finally complained, my Manager retaliated against me and the bullying became far worse. I ended up going to the Fair Work Commission in the hope that my job could be saved and I would not be dismissed based on false allegations. In the past 7 weeks I have been stood down, HR harassed me with emails. And in a few weeks, I must face them in a conciliation hearing and hope my job will be saved. On top of this, my little Dog, who is my entire world, has become terminally ill and we may have to put her down in a matter of days or weeks. The thought of which absolutely kills me. I have a history of anxiety and depression since my late teens. But this is the worst I have experienced so far...my mind has been in such darkness and despair the past few days, made worse by Melbourne being plunged into Stage 4 lockdown. I understand everyone has a lot on their mind right now, but I have turned to the people here because I am in desperate need of someone to listen and care and I feel my pain will be understood here. I am blessed to have parents and a twin brother and a few good friends. We don't talk about such things in my family. And I don't want to burden the 2 or 3 close friends I can confide in. I feel they won't understand how depression like this destroys you.

Thankyou for taking the time to read this. I wish you the best x

Could you give me some hope?

LS128 — Thu, 06 Aug 2020 04:32:04 GMT

Hi Bianca4,

It is brave of you to reach out on the forums for the first time and to acknowledge that you are not feeling as good as you should be. I am sorry to hear about the difficult challenges you are going through at the moment. Covid-19 is tough, but to have work issues as well as an illness of your pet on top must be very challenging.

First, you should not feel that you are a burden for wanting to chat to friends or family. In many stages of life, people go through challenges like the ones you experience and a conversation is what can help. It can be hard to chat without being judged, but you should never feel like a burden when you are facing legitimate challenges in your life. In case you are not aware, the Beyond Blue Support Service could be useful for those times where you feel like you need to chat to someone. The link is below.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

I am sorry to hear about the Workplace Bullying that is occurring towards you. This should never occur, and it is upsetting to hear you are experiencing this especially during Covid-19. It does seem you are doing the right things by reaching out to Fair Work and seeking assistance on this. I have gone through examples of Workplace Bullying myself, and without knowing more about the situation, keep doing the right thing and hopefully the truth should prevail.

Your dog being terminally ill must be terrible news to hear. When there is bad news such as this with loved ones, I think it is important to enjoy the moments you currently have and reminisce on the lovely memories of the past. I do hope that you do not have to put your dog down and my thoughts are with you in this time.

At the moment with Stage 4 Lockdowns, it is much harder to try and do some of the things we love. However, with the stress going on in your life please make sure you are taking time out and looking after yourself by doing something you enjoy at least once per day. I have included a link on some suggestions for staying well below. Personally, I find going for a walk as my best way of dealing with the stresses of life. I hope you can find something that works for you.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well

I hope what I have said and the links I have provided are useful. Feel free to reach out with any questions or thoughts, or if you just want to express your feelings. We are all here to help out.

Stay safe and Warm Regards,
LS128

Could you give me some hope?

Aaronsis — Thu, 06 Aug 2020 04:33:01 GMT

Hi Bianca4

I am so pleased that you found the courage to come and to chat, what you are going through sounds horrible and very traumatic and I have not experienced this myself before but can only imagine the feelings it is causing in you. I am so sorry that your place of work has not made you feel safe and that you have experienced bullying at work, mostly I am proud though that you did speak up and you did stand up for you, that is so very important. No one should be bullied full stop let alone at a place of employment where you are there to work and do a job, not to made fun of, harassed or worse stood down for standing up for yourself.

I hope that you can get a positive outcome from your hearing and that you can move forward from this really hideous time. I am wondering though if you might need some extra support, from a professional while you are going through this, usually companies do have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) that does provide counselling and support during times like this, that might be something to check out. If not a visit to your GP might be in order to reach out for some extra support at this time.

I understand it is hard to talk to family and to friends sometimes, we do play out what they will think and what they will say, mostly though they don't react how we play it out in our heads. However, you know your family best and know that if things like this are not spoken about you will not get the support you need. I am just so pleased you are here to open up and speak with us. We are here to listen and to help you though this time.

There is also some phone helplines that you might reach out to if you feel you need to speak to someone, we have the Beyond Blue line which is wonderful, they are on 1300 22 4636, there is also an organisation called headsup and I have put a link here which might have some useful information and support for you too:

https://www.headsup.org.au/supporting-others/workplace-bullying

I want you to know you are not a burden, you matter and while sure, we all have things on our plate it does not diminish the feelings you have or the need you have for support Bianca4. I hope to chat to you some more, as much as you want to share really, I am here with you to sit and chat with..

Hugs to you and we are here

Sarah

Could you give me some hope?

romantic_thi3f — Fri, 07 Aug 2020 00:00:55 GMT

Hi Bianca4,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for being here. I can see that you've already gotten some wonderful support from LS128 and Sarah - so I'll try not to echo any of it.

What I did want to say though was this: I do believe that things can get better.

If there's one thing I know about my own depression, it's the sense of being permanently stuck in my feelings. I feel hopeless and powerless- everything feels so powerful and overwhelming, and even though I logically know I'm not the only one with depression it's an incredibly lonely experience.

It also makes it so much harder when there are things out of your control, like the workplace, your little dog and the lockdown. and even though these are all awful things to happen, and even though you're tackling some of them on your own, you're not alone in how you feel. Things will eventually be okay.

Could you give me some hope?

imbadwithnames — Fri, 07 Aug 2020 09:41:54 GMT

Hi Bianca, thank you for reaching out. Please know that you are not burdoning us at all, we are all here to listen and bring good vibes and advice where we can.

I am very proud of you that you stood up for yourself at work - bullying and mistreating is not okay anywhere, especially not in the workplace. I really hope that the commission works out for you as that is unacceptable behaviour and you might be saving so many others in the workplace with your bravery and courage.

As for your pet - I know how you feel. It is so hard losing a pet, but I think the main thing is to remember all the good times you had with them, how great their life was living with you, and how much joy you had. Think of all the big moment you got to celebrate with them by your side rather than focussing on the tough time at the moment. Wishing all the best for you and your pet and I truly hope everything will be okay.

Sarah and LS128 gave some fantastic advise, so be sure to look into that when you have a second.

I am so sorry about the situation you are in, but please do not ever think you are burdoning us. Please be sure to keep us updated when you feed comfortable!