https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/fading-away/m-p/489416#M41963 <P>Hello one and all...</P> <P>This is my first post on here. I just typed out a lengthy explanation of my current situation and it exceeded the character limit by far. I wasn’t sure how to narrow it down effectively so I am just writing this super basic background for now. I am diagnosed Bipolar I (has nearly been changed to Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective several times now) and I am really struggling. I had my last psychotic episode in December last year and was hospitalised until February. They wanted to keep me in for at least another eight weeks but I managed to get out of it. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have been discharged when I was. I was somewhat manic until I completely crashed about two months ago now. I am living alone in the bush about fifteen minutes from the nearest small town. I lost my job and my relationship following my episode. And consequently my life. I have no reason whatsoever to get out of bed each day. I have no motivation to do absolutely anything and only leave the house when I absolutely have to. Usually to get tobacco. I am certainly not eating well. A lot of the time I eat nothing at all during a day. I can’t shower at my house at the moment due to water/plumbing issues that my real estate/landlord is yet to rectify. So my hygiene practice is pretty much null and void. I shower maybe twice a week at a “friends” house while he is at work. I say “friends” because he is a horribly toxic influence on my life (long story for another time) and I choose to keep him at bay. I am on no medication since leaving hospital and am smoking marijuana every day in an effort to cope. I am stopping the latter in a couple of days mind you. Only thing I can currently think of to do that might help me right now. I am completely isolated. No friends or family and certainly no support. I have thought of going back to hospital but know they will only drug me up mega and I will be back here where I started before too long. I am on the DSP now which is hard when paying rent. I barely have enough left over for food and petrol so I couldn’t even eat properly if I wanted to. The bills are starting to pile up and I am at a loss at what to do there either. So basically absolutely everything is a mess and I am quickly fading away... Thank you to those who took the time to read this and those who may respond. </P> Fri, 31 May 2019 02:05:20 GMT Everything-Not-Zen 2019-05-31T02:05:20Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/fading-away/m-p/489416#M41963 <P>Hello one and all...</P> <P>This is my first post on here. I just typed out a lengthy explanation of my current situation and it exceeded the character limit by far. I wasn’t sure how to narrow it down effectively so I am just writing this super basic background for now. I am diagnosed Bipolar I (has nearly been changed to Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective several times now) and I am really struggling. I had my last psychotic episode in December last year and was hospitalised until February. They wanted to keep me in for at least another eight weeks but I managed to get out of it. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have been discharged when I was. I was somewhat manic until I completely crashed about two months ago now. I am living alone in the bush about fifteen minutes from the nearest small town. I lost my job and my relationship following my episode. And consequently my life. I have no reason whatsoever to get out of bed each day. I have no motivation to do absolutely anything and only leave the house when I absolutely have to. Usually to get tobacco. I am certainly not eating well. A lot of the time I eat nothing at all during a day. I can’t shower at my house at the moment due to water/plumbing issues that my real estate/landlord is yet to rectify. So my hygiene practice is pretty much null and void. I shower maybe twice a week at a “friends” house while he is at work. I say “friends” because he is a horribly toxic influence on my life (long story for another time) and I choose to keep him at bay. I am on no medication since leaving hospital and am smoking marijuana every day in an effort to cope. I am stopping the latter in a couple of days mind you. Only thing I can currently think of to do that might help me right now. I am completely isolated. No friends or family and certainly no support. I have thought of going back to hospital but know they will only drug me up mega and I will be back here where I started before too long. I am on the DSP now which is hard when paying rent. I barely have enough left over for food and petrol so I couldn’t even eat properly if I wanted to. The bills are starting to pile up and I am at a loss at what to do there either. So basically absolutely everything is a mess and I am quickly fading away... Thank you to those who took the time to read this and those who may respond. </P> Fri, 31 May 2019 02:05:20 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/fading-away/m-p/489416#M41963 Everything-Not-Zen 2019-05-31T02:05:20Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/fading-away/m-p/489417#M41964 <P>Hi, welcome </P> <P>I do have some ideas.</P> <P>Financial relief is one very important slice of your puzzle. Renting is taking a lot of your DSP income.</P> <P>I assume you have a car, but could be wrong. If so then pirchasing a small caravan could release some tension in your life. Bush living could become bush camping. The extra income could see you spend some money on food, staying in a caravan park occasionally (or permanently) and the hygiene issue could be resolved. Ideally a small caravan with shower/portapotti would be best but baby steps eh.</P> <P>Ovetall your determination is what will result in a better wuality of life. Short, medium and long tetm goals have to be planned. Dont be afraid to add your dreams to your plan.</P> <P>Google</P> <P>Beyondblue Topic never ever give up </P> <P>I wish you well. I hope you feel comfortable here and feel ok to reply or add new threads as time goes by or just keep adding onto this one.</P> <P>TonyWK </P> <P> </P> Fri, 31 May 2019 03:29:34 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/fading-away/m-p/489417#M41964 white knight 2019-05-31T03:29:34Z