topic Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery? in Depression

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

white knight — Sun, 28 Jul 2019 06:32:25 GMT

Do you suffer from triggers? What is a trigger?

For me, a trigger is a moment that panic can set in quickly. From that moment on it is a battle to overcome the fallout. Often a panic attack will accompany the shaking, the stress and for me anyhow- the overwhelming temptation to- cry.

Today it happened. My wife and I went for a drive for coffee. Lovely sunny winters day arrived at our favourite country general store café at a very small town only to see the "closed" sign. Ok, we'll go to a country house nearby where they advertise Devonshire tea. As we pulled up the thought came to me about cash. The other place took eftpos which is what we use all the time. This little place isn't likely to take cards. As the old lady approached I didn't have time to talk about it to my wife...in fact the old lay was impossible to interrupt so I could speak about the matter. On and on she talked as we walked about 50 metres to the "tea rooms" all the while not able to talk.

As we arrived at the rotunda I had to interrupt but the shakes started and I was desperate with wanting to ask my wife if she had any real money. So out it came "do you take eftpos" I asked. At that exact moment an old man called out to the old lady something about taking his dogs to a friends place. She walked towards him out of sight. So I didn't get my answer. This freaked me out more in frustration. I turned to my wife and asked her "I hope you have cash"? "Oh, she thought, "I don't think so". I had to return to the car where I found $8 in coins then returned and my wife found $5 in her purse. The old lady returned and we asked the cost of Devonshire tea and she replied "$16"- we were short $3. She was ok with that and being locals we'd make up for it when seeing her in town.

The event shook me up. The rotunda and nearby sheds had jugs as a display many of them so it was a distraction. About 20 minutes later I was 90% recovered. The overwhelming desire is to cry but being older and male it doesn't come.

Distraction is my tool for recovery. I don't think there is a better or faster remedy. Do you know of any?

Prevention is better than cure and having $50 or so on you is the preventative measure. We'll try and do that of course.

Feel free to contribute.

TonyWK

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Doolhof — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 07:00:28 GMT

Hi Tony,

Thanks for this topic. I find that sometimes I do not know what has triggered me. Maybe if I did, then I would have a greater understanding of how to reduce the triggers or at least be better prepared for how to deal with them when they happen.

It must be really hard for yourself and many people when tears can be releasing, but for one reason or another it does not seem right or proper to shed some tears.

Recently I was in a restaurant with friends and could not work out what to order that was gluten free to cater for my Coeliac disease. The menu confused me. My mind turned it into an overwhelming situation! I ran out of the restaurant and cried.

A solution I have found is to telephone the restaurant in advance or Google them to see if they have gluten free options. Even going to someone else's house can have a similar effect if there is nothing there for me to eat. On most occasions I take my own food as I am too timid to ask if they will cater for my needs!

Distractions are good. Helps to get the mind focussing on something else.

Cheers to you Tony and to All reading,

From Dools

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Guest5643 — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 07:23:40 GMT

Hi tony.

Im absoloutly mortified, i went on tiled roof today for first time, had major anxiety and blood pressure dropped. I lied down but slow breathing wasnt helping. My arms and legs were tingling and numb. I felt like i was going to pass out any time i put my head up. I was so scared uo there i had to call fire brigade. 3 guys came with ladder. One got on roof and helped me down. Im soooooooooooo embarassed, they came with sirens also. Lynne

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

white knight — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 07:36:18 GMT

Hi Dools

My daughter is attending rehab sessions from a hospital stay she had recently. So she relays things to me.

She said she was taught today that "triggers" are not something you can get rid of so you have to have a toolbox of tricks to remedy the situation. That makes sense. Avoidance is also a remedy. Like Lynne (Helium) told us of being on a tiled roof, best remedy now is avoiding roofs. Of course there is always a first time we have to try out before we realise that wasn't such a good idea! Or in my case as I'm 63yo now- looking up at the attic windows thinking about painting them and saying to myself- "I think I'll get a painter to do that task!

Not knowing your triggers is a bigger issue. How can you remedy/avoid a trigger if you don't know its source? By experience, and Dools you now know that part of the preparation for attending any venue is to ring prior to make your choice of meal. They might email the menu so you can take your time?

Triggers in my experience, is losing control or approaching an embarrassing situation. As a young adult I was a terrible money manager. Anything to do with money now I leave for my wife to do. Unless it was how it was yesterday with me the only party worried about cash on hand.

Lynne, it sounded like a panic attack.

TonyWK

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Guest5643 — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 08:01:23 GMT

Hi tony.

I think your right it was probably a panic attack. Its hard to tell sometimes panic attack vs bad anxiety attack. Its so scary when one second your 100% fine and the next that happens. Ive noticed when im out i can sometimes distract myself by looking at whatever and spelling it out on my head but it dosnt work when im at home for some reason. Before i took my dog for a walk today i had anxiety starting and my dog jumped up at me which is like a slap in the face to snap out of it. That helps enormously. I realy look foward to reading peoples distraction techniques.

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

quirkywords — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 08:22:51 GMT

White knight,

Thanks for this thread.

i used to say I had no triggers, till one day reading an article aabout a mother struggling reminded me of when my children were young. I just cried uncontrollably. I had no idea there were issues about mothering that I had not addressed.

i think triggers are liable to ambush us when we least expect them, We can have tools but some things trigger us for apparently no reason and we can’t anticipate Thame.

Quirky

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Guest_9610 — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 08:56:14 GMT

Hello white knight.

Triggers: After reading your post about Triggers & how those dreadful experiences your currently dealing with. I truly do understand your situation 100% I also have the identical problem in dealing with triggers. At present I'm struggling very much just to put a couple words together due to severe anxiety depression etc & shaking very badly just trying to write this to you.

BB has a Fact Sheet out that called "Relaspsing". In that fact sheet ( I have a physical copy). In there in, it explains Everything you need to know about Triggers, what to do about them + so on.

Hope this info helps you just as much as it did for me. I refer to very often. Hope you try to understand what I'm trying to convey here. The brain is barely functioning just to put a couple of words together.

Regards

Amiella

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Guest5643 — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 01:43:21 GMT

Hi quirky.

The amount of times i say to myself 'well i didnt see that one coming'. And so many times something that has never been a trigger in the past suddenly has become a trigger. Lynne

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

quirkywords — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 01:59:34 GMT

Lynne

hanks for sharing that because people of talk about all their triggers as they know them so well. I am always surprised and I have noticed if I am in a low mood the more chance there is that I will be triggered. Not sure if anyone finds that as well.

Quirky

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

white knight — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 10:52:12 GMT

Hi everyone, thank you for all your replies, the topic is proving helpful

In my case Quirky I was very relaxed prior to the trigger. I am convinced on or two causes- a/ a trigger to not having cash on us (poor money manager when young) or b/ it's cyclic. Which results in a hair trigger. But I dont get warnings.

Lynne, I was like that with money.

Amiellia, you did very well, thankyou for the extra effort and the reference

It seems I'm not alone.

Tony

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Guest5643 — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 09:30:12 GMT

Family member birthdays on the day and leading up to are a massive trigger cause i don't speak to a single one of them. My ocd and anxiety is through the roof 2day cause its my ######! horrible dads b'day 2morro. Lynne

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Guest_9610 — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 11:03:27 GMT

Hello Helium

Re: OCD to the roof today..

Families are people who we are related too yet not all famlies we have a close relationship with. So why are you putting yourself in a situation that's going affect your health to a crisis mode?

Is it worth it?

As mentioned you had said you don't speak to any one of them. So, really the decision is yours entirely to participate or not.

What's more important now in your own personal life?

Your Health?

Or a family gathering of those you don't speak too?

I've dealt with many of those situations over the years & know what my Triggers are. To Remove myself from the situation is the Only way I could cope.

If you are unable to avoid this family gathering, what about those deep breath in excises which really does help with Triggers anxiety.

A'll the best

Amiella

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

white knight — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 11:32:18 GMT

Hi Lynne,

Correct me if I'm wrong but as a young man in finanial crisis one mothers day (my mother knew about it) was given a nice card written inside was "All my live, Tony"...to which she replied "where's my present"?

Such is the world of people with excessive expectations. And the children grow into adults with anger, low self esteem and continually try to patch up the damage.

What starts this anxiety? Fear.

Maybe you'd like to tell us more Lynee about your fear?

Amiellia, I've removed my mother from my life and you are right- in the case of narcissists etc it is the only remedy.

TonyWK

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Guest_9610 — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 12:10:54 GMT

Hi TonyWK

Am very saddened to hear you're saying that you had to remove your mother from your life. I don't know anything about your personal life & the relationship you had with your mother, but a few posts I've read on your page tells me you're no longer "this young man" anymore....

We all have our own stories to tell which at times is so deep & painful to even mention it. Yes, our childhood experiences often come out in the most unexpected times in our lives leaving us wondering the big question Why? Having said that, we all need to take a revaluation of ourselves of the "Person" we are Today & work on what's best or us.

As you had mentioned to Helium - Lynne, "Fear" is the biggest drawback from moving forward & once this Fear had been dealt with then only One can move forward...

Triggers/depression/anxiety/ocd/plus ther mental disorders are all so closely interrelated that by being on this Thread will help each of us to deal with Triggers in various ways,

Rregards,

Amiella

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Guest5643 — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 12:38:24 GMT

Hi Amiella and Tony.

You mentioned fear and moving forward. I honestly am trying. Maybe im being lazy and selfish and not trying hard enough. Tony you asked to tell about my fear, i have a thread 'my dog is my family' that explains alot, i realy dont want to type it all out again. Lynne

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Guest5643 — Thu, 01 Aug 2019 14:15:11 GMT

Hi Amiella and Tony.

Sorry i realised i misread your post and realised my post unitentialy sounds misleading. I have no contact whatsoever in any way shape or form with any family member. Family bdays are one form of trigger for my complex ptsd which can fuel my ocd, anxiety ect. Lynne

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

white knight — Fri, 02 Aug 2019 00:38:49 GMT

Hi Lynne

That's great I'll have a read. I understand your intensity of your triggers.

Amellia, yes I'm 63yo now. My whole world of emotional roller coaster changed around 12 years ago when I googled

Queen witch hermit waif

Unfortunately my mother fitted into all 4 characters but was in denial.

With my first wedding in 1985 ruined by her and my second then planned with her threatening to ruin that, I severed the relationship.

TonyWK

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

white knight — Fri, 02 Aug 2019 00:59:02 GMT

Hi Helium

I've just read your thread. Thankyou for having the courage to write it.

The most glaring thing that stood out was the odd vontact with your sister and how she must be full of revenge and lacking empathy.

I jave selecyed a few threads that I think will help you compartmentalise her.

Google

Beyondblue topic fortress of survival

Beyondble topic fortress of survival part 2

Beyondblue topic depression and toxic people

Beyondblue topic triggers that down you triggers that lift you

Beyondblue topic disowning a family member

I hope they help. I'm more than happy to talk much more about your struggles.

TonyWK

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

Anicca — Fri, 02 Aug 2019 10:34:01 GMT

Hi Tony,

Thank you for posting about triggers. I have been dealing with my own for a couple of months now. I get irrationally angry and will have an outburst in public against the person/s triggering it. I see my psychiatrist fortnightly and I always tell her if this has happened. She tells me I have overreacted and logically I know this. The last time she told me it was way out of proportion to the incident and that I was extremely angry. She said that it was a trigger from a very young age, when I had no control of situations I was in or decisions people made on my behalf. Her proposal is that I tell myself I am an adult now and I am in control. I respect my doctor and try to take her advice. I have Bipolar Two and unfortunately react before I think. The past two weeks I have pretty much hidden away with my dog rather than have to deal with any unexpected situations. I am alone and at 63 I seem to be getting worse.

I see my doctor tomorrow so I’ll have the opportunity to talk about it again.

Thank you for posting about triggers. It was exactly what I was looking for when I logged on. I am teary as I write this.

Best wishes to you,

Alison

Triggers- what are your distractions for recovery?

white knight — Fri, 02 Aug 2019 12:38:22 GMT

Hi Alison

Thankyou for replying. I too have bipolar2. Yes, I do things without thinking and I'm 63yo.

like many mental illnesses we have limited ability to change the DNA of it all but we can change some things to make life a little better.

One thing my therapist a long time ago asked me to do was to ask myself if I'm being realistic. To freak out over dropping an egg is not reacting in proportion. Also, creating my own fear from possibles of fantasy...eg I took a sick day off...I wonder if my boss will knock on my door? Simply not realistic.

This places our minds in a vulnerable state. So we have to try to get things into perspective and react in proportion to the attack. If we succeed a bit, we cant expect to eliminate all over reaction.

We should ask ourselves "what changes are within our capacity"? And make that our goal. Any more than that you are introducing failure of changing which is unfair and not a gentle method of self care.

Are these the things you have difficulty with?

TonyWK