topic Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down. in Depression

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

Leslie_ — Wed, 13 May 2020 03:38:04 GMT

Hello, this is my first time dealing with depression and looking for help while I wait for a psychologist.

I quit my job to move from Melbourne to Perth in February with my boyfriend where he grew up and wanted to return. I started uni in early March, and then the country went into lock down a few weeks later. I was doing ok for the first couple of weeks, staying on track with uni and doing things around the house, but in the last 4 weeks my mental state really fell apart. I was fighting with my boyfriend, missing assignments, not wanting to get out of bed, and when I did I just moved to the couch. I started having suicidal thoughts because I felt so alone and I knew how far behind with uni I was, I couldn't see myself catching up. Everyday I feel like crying. I've just come back to Melbourne and need to get back to Perth for a practical assessment for uni. My boyfriend is saying that I'm not ready to come back because I haven't seen a psychologist. But I feel that by the weekend, I will be ready to come back and I need to get back, and if I miss this assessment then I won't have any reason to continue with uni, nor will I feel re-energised to get back on track. I don't know what to do. He's telling me to change the date for the assessment but all the sessions are booked out. I don't really know if anyone has some advice or anything, but I guess this is just a first step for me while I wait.

Thank you for taking the time to read, I look forward to reading your comments.

Stay safe xo

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

Tay100 — Wed, 13 May 2020 09:51:54 GMT

Hi Leslie_

Thanks for posting- we know waiting for services can be a tricky when you already going through a tough time.

Keeping up with uni when there is so much going on in the background can be hard- please be gentle with yourself, practise self-care. Part of that could be chatting to us here if you need- we are here to listen. Do you have anyone you could reach out too as a part of your support network, aside from your boyfriend? Also, accessing the uni help services could be helpful too and ease some of the dread and pressure you feel with assignments. They could provide mental health support whilst you wait for your psychologist appointment too.

Sending kindness,

Tay100

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

Nurse_Jenn — Wed, 13 May 2020 11:50:21 GMT

Hi Leslie_,

Welcome to the forum. This sounds like an already big move that has turned into a really huge adjustment. I have often thought of people who are making a big change and are then hit with COVID Isolation and how heavy that must be. I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. You have said this is your first experience of depression which can be tough .... as well as starting a new University course. Wow. So many big things are happening all at once. If your comfortable sharing, what are you studying? You have started your journey in healing already by seeing a psychologist and now reaching out to get extra support on the forum which is another awesome step. You are not alone.

Tay100 has made some great suggestions to reach out to a supportive friend/family member or reaching out to the University. It sounds as though you have had some psychological support in Melbourne. I wonder if you had been able to source a new referral to see someone in Perth? Talking about your circumstance can really help. If you don't have someone close, you could try a support line such as Beyond Blue Support Line on 1300 22 4636. You mentioned that you are having suicidal thoughts which are not uncommon- if you are feeling so low that you are not sure where to turn please try and call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

If it helps, please share more of your story. We are listening.

Nurse Jenn

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

blondguy — Wed, 13 May 2020 12:55:43 GMT

Hello Leslie_

Good on you for having the courage to post when everything seems likes its upside down

Can I ask if you have a small support network?....even one or two people can be a huge benefit when we are going through a difficult and sometimes dark period in our lives. Your boyfriend is speaking from his own point of view, yet having some 'neutral' experienced support would be more beneficial to you in this difficult time you are experiencing

Tay100 provided helpful support when she mentioned 'being gentle to yourself' in this difficult time

any questions are always welcome Leslie_

my kind thoughts

Paul

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

Leslie_ — Thu, 14 May 2020 06:17:40 GMT

Thank you for your reply Tay100,

I guess I kind of have his family as well, but because they all lived in Perth, I had only met them a few times before moving there. They are all very lovely and kind, I just don't feel totally comfortable reaching out to them just yet.
I've been considering speaking to someone from the uni and emailing the unit coordinators to see if i can get some sort of exemption for the assignments or an extension, if I could complete them during semester break.

I'll take your advice on board

Till next time, x

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

Leslie_ — Thu, 14 May 2020 06:25:48 GMT

Hi Nurse Jenn, thank for your reply,

I'm actually studying nursing! It's been a life long dream and an inherent interest since I was young. Which is why I feel so down about not doing so well with the studies at the moment.

I have a referral to a psychologist in Perth, but my partner is needing time to get his head in the right place as well so I dont know when I'll be going back there. Even though I would like to go back in the next week as exam are starting up soon.

I was so happy with my decision to move to Perth, it took me a little while to get comfy in our home but I was finally there and then I came back to Melbourne. I think that missing home in Perth is having a big effect on me now as well and he doesn't really understand that. He thinks that being in my childhood home will make me get better. But i moved out 4 years ago into my own home. And my mums house makes me sad because I lost my dad 5 years ago so him not being there is very weird for me.

I'll definitely put those numbers in my phone.

Thank you again x

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

Leslie_ — Thu, 14 May 2020 06:28:34 GMT

Hi Paul, thank you for taking time to reply.

I don't really have a network over in Perth, just my partner and his family who I've really only got to know properly these past few months.

I can probably talk to one of his sisters who will understand a bit better and can give me some tips.

Thank you again for your reply, stay safe x

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

blondguy — Fri, 15 May 2020 14:23:56 GMT

Hi Leslie

Great to have you on the forums and even though we dont expect a response...thankyou for posting back 🙂

If you find yourself in a 'situation' where someone is providing you with advice that isnt helpful I have provided a helpful Beyond Blue link for you below.....which you can forward to anyone you wish so they can try to understand what you are going through

www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety

I hope this link is helpful for you Leslie

you are amazing by being as proactive as you are

Paul

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

Tay100 — Sat, 16 May 2020 02:01:46 GMT

Hi Leslie_

Glad to hear my advice resonated with you. Let us know how you go with getting the uni assessment extensions.

My best,

Tay100

Start of the year was wonderful, then everything turned upside down.

Tay100 — Sun, 31 May 2020 01:08:15 GMT

Hi Leslie_

Just thought I'd swing by and see how uni and everything else was going for you, since uni is wrapping up soon for most people. Let us know you are travelling, if you like, but no pressure.

Sending kindness,

Tay100