topic I NEED HOPE in Depression

I NEED HOPE

Yeah-Nah — Thu, 05 Aug 2021 04:37:15 GMT

So, on the roller coaster again. Since entering adulthood many moons ago it seems I can't shake off the soul sapping reality that I CONSTANTLY suffer depression, such that it renders me incapable of anything beyond mere existence. I try to pick myself up over and over but as it is I'm here again. I'm tired. I do NOT want this to be a dictating factor of my existence but it seems to always leach in 😞

I NEED HOPE

Sophie_M — Thu, 05 Aug 2021 05:13:00 GMT

Hey there,

We can hear you've been through some really difficult times, and it can be really exhausting when it feels like you're constantly going through it. We hope that you can be kind to yourself while you're feeling this way, as it sounds like you've been through a lot and had a lot of resilience in picking yourself up. Can you think of anything that has helped you in the past, that could be useful to you today?

We think that it's really important that you have people you can talk to about this. Do you have anyone supporting you with your mental health? You can always give the Beyond Blue helpline a ring on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. A few more options are Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) who are also here for you 24/7, at any time of the day or night. All of these options are available through webchat, if you'd prefer:

It must be horrible feeling like it's such a big part of your existence, we hope you can be kind to yourself, and see that you're worth a lot more than moments like this would have you believe.

We're really glad you could share this here. It can be a really hard thing to do, but you never know who will see this post and feel less alone in their own experience. Do feel free to share more with us here on how you're feeling and what might help, if you feel up to it.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

I NEED HOPE

Isabella_ — Thu, 05 Aug 2021 06:08:04 GMT

Hey,

Welcome to the forums. Good on you for recognising your want and need to deal with your depression, and especially for sharing that with us - these are the first steps and you should be proud of taking them.

Getting better is never an easy process.. reading through posts on here you will find many amazing success stories that always have adversity along the way. I've been stuck in a cycle of picking myself up and falling down what feels like an even deeper hole, but being brutally honest with myself, stepping out of my comfort zone and reaching out for help was more than worthwhile. Therapy helped me to rewire things and make everything manageable again.

I know the idea of bringing up your mental health with your GP is daunting, but is it something that you've considered doing? What are your thoughts/feelings around taking the leap to seek out therapy?

Please remember that you don't deserve any pressure to continue living your life without the help you need. I think sayings like "you can't expect an olympian to win a gold medal after breaking their leg on the field" helped me put my mental health in perspective.. it's just as important as physical health, and they're both tied together. No one is expected to be able to live their lives as normal while struggling with depression, it can be extremely debilitating and exhausting to deal with alone. Everyone has a place here to be heard and listened to, and I hope you can find some peace here when you need it.

I strongly suggest using the resources that Sophie has mentioned whenever you're in a place you feel you need them.

I would love to hear from you. Take care of yourself.

I NEED HOPE

Petal22 — Thu, 05 Aug 2021 15:06:23 GMT

Hi Yeah-Nah,

Wellcome to our forums!

Sorry you are feeling this way…..

I understand it must be difficult for you……, please know there is always HOPE! Never stop believing in HOPE!

I went through a mental health condition for some time, it was severe anxiety OCD…….. it was debilitating……. I felt like I was living in an internal hell and wouldn’t have wished my condition on anyone! I seeked professional help from my gp through to a clinical psychologist, psychiatrist this then led me to a clinic that specialised in OCD……. I did an 8 week therapy there…… this is we’re I learned to master my OCD….. it took time and perseverance to practice the skills I was taught but I’ve now been free of the condition for 4 years going strong!

I know our conditions are different but if I can recover there is HOPE that you can too……

Have you seeked any professional help for your condition?

im here to chat to you 😊

I NEED HOPE

Yeah-Nah — Sat, 07 Aug 2021 03:28:09 GMT

Thanks. But I've been riding this carnival for decades. I don't want to end up like my godmother who at 80+ suffers more than ever from depression, I didn't even know she did until a few years ago. I have reached out and tried ENDLESS resources in people and "methods" but at the end of the day I'm simply EXHAUSTED, it's so friggin incredibly hard to lift my head and actually WANT to keep going.

I NEED HOPE

Yeah-Nah — Sat, 07 Aug 2021 03:33:36 GMT

Hi, thanks for replying (as usual it seems my calls for help are feeble).

I have used those phone services & other many times, I'm now too exhausted to even voice my issues. The problems keep compounding - just life crap but when it's all coming at the pace of a tsunami I simply haven't the energy to deal with even one small wave. I'm so depressed I can't even cry. I can't keep "hiding" my inability to cope from the family, I am actually fully snapping at everyone. I had hoped reaching out in this forum (only because I trust this service) that I could maybe find someone who cared enough to keep by my side.

I NEED HOPE

Yeah-Nah — Sat, 07 Aug 2021 03:37:09 GMT

Hi Petal22, are you genuinely available to chat?
I wish to all energies in the universe that I could "get over" my debilitating depression - I'd be lucky to have 8wks in which it didn't show up in some way, let alone actually feel it wasn't controlling my life. I've explored all manner of services and help, at the end of the day, I just want to curl up in a ball, close my eyes and stop breathing.

I don't derive pleasure from anything any more. Eating and all the basics of self care are honestly an absolute chore. The demands of single parenting (without ANY family to help) has stripped me completely, to the point I can't actually think any more.

I NEED HOPE

Petal22 — Sat, 07 Aug 2021 04:38:49 GMT

Hi Yeah-Nah,

Yes I’m genuinely available to chat to you 😊 I had days we’re I was unable to function it was just horrible…….. please don’t loose HOPE if I can recover from a mental health condition there is HOPE that you can too………

I use to write myself a list every night before I went to sleep of the things I wanted to do the next day….

eg washing, vacuum, go out for a coffee , go out for a walk

As I did these things I’d cross them off the list…. It made me feel pretty good for accomplishing these things at the end of the day…… it would build my momentum..

I would also read a lot of positive affirmations every day…. I still do this it really helped me to retrain my brain from negative to positive…….. trust me it works……

try to include these things in your day…..

if I had a really bad day I’d tell myself tomorrow will be better….. it usually was….

the struggle your in today, is developing the strength you need for tomorrow .

DON’T GIVE UP 😊💪

I’m here to chat

I NEED HOPE

Summerinvincible — Sat, 07 Aug 2021 09:09:50 GMT

Hi Yeah-Nah

my situation may not be exactly the same as yours, but I’m also a single parent with zero support. You absolutely need and deserve a break and support, and I’m sorry you haven’t received this.

I’ve been there before and when you feel like you’re at rock bottom, it’s so hard to think of the smallest thing you can do to look after yourself.

it sucks. Happy to listen further if it helps.

I NEED HOPE

Petal22 — Sat, 07 Aug 2021 13:56:58 GMT

You have been through hell, darling . BUT remember this: YOU are still standing. Your heart is still beating. Your lungs are still breathing. Yes it is you, not hell, that has the last word. And that is why the skies call you warrior…….

Rise up my friend let’s take it a day at a time, I’m here to help you ……… no matter how hard it is, or how hard it gets you have to tell yourself “ I’m going to make it”……. 💪❤️

I NEED HOPE

Yeah-Nah — Sun, 08 Aug 2021 13:15:49 GMT

Thanks Petal 🤗🌷

Hardest is not having someone to properly vent to. I have some GREAT friends, but their lives are hectic & with how things are with legislated distancing it's harder than ever, even by phone, to try and get someone - even then, bless their cotton socks, often all they can do is validate me (even though they'd love to help with a solution), validation that what I'm experiencing respectively to my hurdles is supportive in itself.

I hate feeling like a burden on my friends - don't always want to seem the soppy wet rag, I'm not really - I have a very jovial soul, but when you keep dragging yourself about and just as you solve one thing, two more pop up, well, let's say the tank's empty!

I NEED HOPE

Petal22 — Sun, 08 Aug 2021 13:52:02 GMT

That’s ok Yeah-Nah,

I hope you had a better day today 😊

Thats great you have great friends I’m happy to hear that….. I’m sure you aren’t a burden to them….

I’m sure you have a beautiful jovial soul…….. I know that things that happen to us in our lives can try to weigh us down………. This also use to happen to me but I’ve done a lot of work on the inside of myself…… I’ve learned how to change my perspective on things …. To see the positive side to things, I choose to let the negative things go, I learned to forgive myself and others ….in doing this it has given me freedom……. I’m also kind to myself and tell myself good things about myself……every day…. Renewing the mind is a beautiful thing…… try to incorporate these things into your day…… step by step

Have you ever tried meditation? It’s a wonderful beautiful practice 😊 Meditation taught me to be the watcher of my thoughts and to not get so caught up in them….. we aren’t our thoughts but the observer of them……

I hope you have a good day tomorrow

a little progress each day adds up to big results…….. never give up step by step…… your story is far from done …. THE BEST IS YET TO COME

here to chat to you 😊🌺

I NEED HOPE

geoff — Sun, 08 Aug 2021 17:40:09 GMT

Hello Yeah-Nah, I've read all the replies and know exactly what you are saying, this depression finds no joy in being able to do what we once loved to do, we don't care nor do we give any concern because this illness is just too strong as it controls how we think every moment of every day, and for example, if you give a lady a bunch of flowers while she is depressed would she be overjoyed and so appreciative, no, you might as well hand her a bunch of plastic flowers, they mean zilch.

We want to talk with our friends, but two problems may arise, where are they and do they actually care, probably not, so they disappear, they're not interested and have no idea on what they say will ever help us and vanish with no further contact, that's certainly not what we want, cause we always help them, so why don't they do the same for us.

That's an awful reality we learn along the way, and if they do come back to us expecting us to help them with their own problem, they get a cool reception and understandably.

Thankfully here, we're talking with those who have experienced similar circumstances and certainly don't push people away, because we know when it's so hard to fill the kettle up and turn it on, just couldn't be bothered.

Take care.

Geoff.

I NEED HOPE

Yeah-Nah — Sat, 14 Aug 2021 23:31:48 GMT

It gets to the point that I actually can't watch comedy - when not depressed I'd find it hilarious - depressed, I am actually irritated, can even end up in tears. I don't even exist through some days, going to the toilet feels a massive "chore". Cup of tea LMFAO, I wouldn't even make myself one when depressed, even when I'm OK I'm not that self-loving ... maybe therein lies the problem 😕

I NEED HOPE

Petal22 — Sun, 15 Aug 2021 00:04:09 GMT

Good morning Yeah-Nah,

Please try to give yourself self LOVE…… you deserve that…… ❤️

here to chat

I NEED HOPE

Yeah-Nah — Thu, 19 Aug 2021 11:48:38 GMT

Hi Petal, thx for the reminder & checking in with me - it's very much appreciated.

I NEED HOPE

Petal22 — Thu, 19 Aug 2021 11:53:11 GMT

That’s ok Yeah - Nah I hope things are improving for you ❤️

I NEED HOPE

LesleyM — Fri, 03 Sep 2021 03:27:55 GMT

Hello Yeah-Nah... I am new on board with beyond blue but just wanted to say I get what you said in your post ... I am going through extremely challenging time at the moment and am similarly what I call 'paralysed'. The things that brought me great joy in the past (wild birds feeding from my hand, beautiful flowers, and yes humour) just make me cry to at the moment.I have never really let people 'in' before but I have this time and I am overwhelmed by the people who have drawn near to me and are 'holding me in place'.... they even just let me cry it out on the phone... i checked in with them if they were ok for me to do that ... Is there anyone you can reach out to and 'let in' ... xx

I NEED HOPE

LesleyM — Fri, 03 Sep 2021 03:41:56 GMT

Hello Petal22

I am new to BB but know that I need to reach out .... so not coping

I am 66, single, no family .. still work but am on the verge of losing my house ... the reasons irrelevant here .. but 'the waiting' is horrendous. I have have battled depression most of my adult life, although 'personality' covered it most of the time... my sometimes behaviour, when overwhelmed, would have alerted anyone in the know.

... I have always suffered from self-loathing... to the point that I abused myself...

I am trying to focus on my consultancy work to stay distracted but I drift in and out of despair and tears .. and so having nothing left to 'fight on with'. Some amazing people have gathered around me but I am finding it increasingly hard to hang on. The only things keeping me safe at the moment are my cats. I don't see how there is a future beyond this ... the fight gets harder not easier...

I NEED HOPE

Petal22 — Sat, 04 Sep 2021 07:04:04 GMT

Hi Lesley,

Thank you for reaching out…

Im so sorry you are feeling this way it must be difficult for you….

Sorry to hear you are on the verge of loosing your house….

Im happy to hear you have some support from people around you…

If you wish to you can start your own thread and myself and others in our amazing community will support you….

Here to chat