topic Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks in Depression

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Kelizabeth — Wed, 22 Jul 2020 19:49:38 GMT

My relationship of two years broke down horribly 3 weeks ago with the realisation of emotional abuse and I’ve been plunged into the most intense depression I’ve ever experienced. I haven’t eaten in 3 weeks and have lost over 7kg. I can feel myself fading away but have no motivation to change it,’y stomach doesn’t grumble anymore and I sleep most days. I’m already on antidepressants and my GP has given me sleeping tablets but I feel so lost and have no idea how to get better. I’m not even sure I want to

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Sophie_M — Wed, 22 Jul 2020 19:58:27 GMT

Welcome to the forums, Kelizabeth, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing your thoughts and feelings here. It sounds like you are going through a hard time, and since the breakup it has been challenging for you. Through this struggle you are still here reaching out for support which says a lot about you. We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. We’ve also checked in with you via email to provide you with some additional supports. With the right support things can get better.
Keep checking in to let us know how you’re going, whenever you feel up to it.

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

monkey_magic — Wed, 22 Jul 2020 23:13:55 GMT

Hi Kelizabeth,

Thankyou for reaching out to us and a warm welcome to BB.

The realisation of emotional abuse and the breakup must be a huge shock to the system. It sounds like your still reeling from that and I really hope you know it's not your fault. Abuse can make you feel like you're to blame but the fault lies on the perpetrator of that abuse. Sorry that you have been through so much recently.

I would go to the doctor right away. Someone supportive that you trust. I really don't like the sound of you fading away and you don't have to go through this by yourself. Visits to a psychologist could really help.

I've been through emotional abuse and a breakup also and it was stressful. So stressful that I didn't function and forgot myself.

Small steps will aid your recovery. Eating something indulgent, sitting outside in the sun, listening to music, a short drive somewhere, seeing a friend etc.

You can't let him win by getting the best of you. You've fallen down but can slowly get back up again.

Please try your best to eat something, to nourish your body and soul.

You are not alone in this. I eventually got over my part time lover ( bcas he wasn't fully with it) and you can too.

You are valued and worthy of respect and proper love. Not some emotionally abusive person whose too selfish to know better. As harmful as they are u can bounce back eventually.

I have faith in you.

Sending you love and strength to help pull you out of this rabbit hole.

💜

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

leesy_lou — Thu, 23 Jul 2020 01:33:15 GMT

Kelizabeth,

I know I don't know you but from one stranger to another, I'm so proud of you for reaching out about how you are feeling. I agree with mokey_magic, the loss of your partner after two years and the realisation of the abuse that was happening within the relationship is both massive and heartbreaking. I'm so sorry this happened to you, abuse of any form is never okay. Feeling like you are broken and confused on what next, or who you are is so understandable right now.

You said you have gone to the doctor for support which is great to hear. Keep doing this, increasing in frequency as you need. It sounds like right now you really need a supportive team to help keep you well.

Hear that you are not to sure if you want to get well is concerning kelizabeth, please keep reaching out like you have today ❤️

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

InhaleExhale — Thu, 23 Jul 2020 01:49:44 GMT

Hi Kelizabeth,

I can see that you have reached out in the past few years on the forums when things have been tough for you. Once due to a previous relationship and once due to workplace stress. I hope that you find these posts helpful and you feel heard.

From what I understand, you’re worried because you haven’t been eating for 3 weeks and are losing weight, this seems to be a symptom of your depression. You also seem conflicted about whether or not you want to take any steps to change this. I guess because you’re reaching out here, that on some level you are considering your options for helping yourself feel a bit better. Maybe is there a previously favourite food you would consider eating or someone in your house that can prepare a favourite food for you?

I learnt recently that not eating effects your brain functioning, so your ability to think clearly and concentrate. No doubt this does not help your wellbeing. At this stage are you interested in making some small changes? Thinking of you.

InhaleExhale.

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Kelizabeth — Sat, 25 Jul 2020 03:15:07 GMT

I feel so alone even though there’s people around me and I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt. Sometimes it feels like I’m only just hanging on and it wouldn’t take much to push me over the edge. I want to change and survive but equally I don’t. I feel like I can’t get myself out of bed and my weight is plummeting. And there’s this horrible fear that even if I make it through this I’ll be alone forever because who would want someone with my history. If everything they said about me is true then why would anyone want me around.

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Sophie_M — Sat, 25 Jul 2020 03:31:55 GMT

Hey Kelizabeth,

We are so sorry to hear how low you're feeling, it sounds like you are in a lot of pain right now. We understand that it can be really tough to feel so lonely, but please know that our community understand, and are here to offer as much support and advice as you need during this difficult time.

If you feel up to it, we'd also really encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or you can get in touch on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST at: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

Please also know that the lovely counsellors at Lifeline (13 11 14) and Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are available 24/7 during your most difficult moments.

You are not alone here, and we hope that you find some comfort here in the words of wisdom and kindness from our community.

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

leesy_lou — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 00:08:19 GMT

Hey Kelizabeth,

Just wanted to check in, see how you are going.

Relationships breaks-downs truely are the pits, they can leave us in a heap of pain and confusion. A close friend of mine recently went through a breakup after 10 years and we were talking about how its a major loss, not just of the relationship but of the life you being envisioning for yourself.. what do you think?

I hear you are feeling alone despite being surround by people, and its been so hard for you to do anything at the moment so I just wanted to remind you that we are here when you feel up to it.

This moment in time will not define you kelizabeth. I find it helpful to think back to bad times I have experienced in the past and how I felt and thought. Then flip it around and think of the happy times and how I have felt and thought. It generally helps me gain a little perspective even if its just for a moment ❤️

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

InhaleExhale — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 00:22:51 GMT

Hi Kelizabeth,

This might be the worst you’ve ever felt but it could also be the worst you will ever feel. You definitely sound torn between wanting to survive and not. I wonder if you would like to talk more about that?

You fear that you will be alone forever. This is such a common fear when people are in dark places. Why would anyone want to be around them? I don’t know if this helps at all, but we do want to be around you, we want to help because we care about you. You are worth helping and surviving and loving. I’m worried about you and I’m sure the people in your life are as well.

Please feel free to come back and lay down how you are thinking and feeling.

InhaleExhale

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Kelizabeth — Wed, 12 Aug 2020 10:20:10 GMT

Thankyou everyone for your kind words. I wish I could say I felt better but I don’t really, I’m trying to get the help I need but that in itself has been devastating. Talking to psychologists about everything that’s gone on has brought up a lot of grief about things I had ignored in the relationship. And my friends keep telling me I should be over it by now which puts a lot of pressure on me to have a brave face and not show people it’s affecting me. Everyone has noticed my weight loss which is now at 12kg and is being monitored by my GP.
I have overwhelming feelings of loneliness and at times I just want it all to be over. I don’t know whether I’ll ever trust another person again and it feels that this loneliness will be never ending. I’m so worried that the problem is me, that I’m the one who was abusive or there’s something wrong with me. He denied and invalidated how I felt so often, told me I was ridiculous or too much drama and now I can’t figure out who was right. I worry he’s broken me for good there’s really only so much one person can take and I’m tired

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Sophie_M — Wed, 12 Aug 2020 13:43:53 GMT

Hey Kelizabeth,

We're really glad to see you reaching out to the forums and keeping us updated on how you're feeling. We're so sorry that things aren't feeling any better at the moment, but you've shown a lot of strength in talking things through with your psychologist, and discussing concerns with your GP. We can hear how overwhelming these feelings of loneliness must be, but please know that we are all here to support you.

Please remember to reach out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed and needing to talk it through. You're never alone. In these moments you can always get in touch with our Support Service (1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help to support you through this.

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

ecomama — Wed, 12 Aug 2020 14:39:42 GMT

Dear Kelizabeth

I'm very sorry for the break up and we can talk about that over time. It sounds like you were very committed so your recovery may take longer than your friends think. Adding abuse can make our thought processes go haywire for a while.. we can talk about that later too.

For now it's about saving your life. I've been where you are and I know the signs. We need to do "damage control" and stop any further damage to your suffering mind and body.

There's a great thread about Eating on here and everyone is so kind and supportive. Please have a look.

There may be nothing you feel like eating but to save yourself, eating anything is important right now.

If you can focus on food and eating, we can talk about any thing else later.

Love EM

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Kelizabeth — Sun, 16 Aug 2020 01:28:48 GMT

Thankyou everyone for your concern and care. It’s meant a lot there are people here and a community I can come to. Eating is not getting much better but just enough to stop further drastic weight loss. My depression is a bit worse I guess. Can’t read books anymore which I used to love because I can’t concentrate. Everything reminds me of him, my work is a constant reminder and I’m performing badly as a result. I don’t want him to take that from me too

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Kelizabeth — Sun, 16 Aug 2020 11:03:51 GMT

I have just been feeling so unwanted and I’m questioning everything in my life. I don’t understand how someone can love someone one minute and then break up with them the next. I feel so violated and I can’t trust anyone

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

ecomama — Sun, 16 Aug 2020 13:03:02 GMT

Hi Kelizabeth

All of the things you're feeling right now are reactions to the abuse you've suffered.

Hopefully your psych can help CLARIFY things in your mind about the abuse.

There's alot written online about "Narcissistic abuse", see if it fits with how you're feeling.
The 'narcissistic discard' phase is so damaging also. There are plenty of YouTube clips on same. VERY interesting.

So many of us wonderful souls have lost the ability, motivation or even willingness to do things we used to enjoy like reading. Trauma has a huge impact on our ability to concentrate but you're doing so well coming back to express to us how you're feeling.

It's really important you keep doing this.

I'm glad you have begun to make headway with eating some times.

All those things you've mentioned like eg feeling like you'll never trust anyone again and ALL the other worries of how much this has changed you DON'T NEED to be your primary concern right now.

You are overwhelming your darling mind with too much at once.

With help, support and love from those around you and HERE... those other things can be built back slowly. In time. It's just not necessary right now.

Getting good nourishment into your body.
Learning strategies to help you focus at work.
Being KIND to yourself by spending time, even on the phone, with people you care about and who care about you.
Phoning helplines when it's all too overwhelming for you.
RECEIVING support.

Now is the perfect time to get to know yourself.
Find gratitude.
LEARN. (So hopefully any abusive people in your life will not stay in your life for long next time).

A lovely BB member told me about Kristen Neff and her lovely clips online are awesome.

What do you think?

Love EM

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Kelizabeth — Mon, 17 Aug 2020 08:36:47 GMT

Turns out horrible people are not just those you date. I am overwhelmed because on top of everything my so called best friend dumped me as a bridesmaid today saying I was too sad to be a part of the bridal party. I legitimately do not understand how I am supposed to get over all of this

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

ecomama — Tue, 18 Aug 2020 10:17:50 GMT

Kelizabeth said:Turns out horrible people are not just those you date. I am overwhelmed because on top of everything my so called best friend dumped me as a bridesmaid today saying I was too sad to be a part of the bridal party. I legitimately do not understand how I am supposed to get over all of this

I'm so sorry Kelizabeth, what a HORRIBLE shock that must have been for you!

Have you been able to talk this through with someone? A Counsellor on a helpline and / or psych?

It's true, some toxic people are not only the ones we date.

Love EM

Haven’t eaten in 3 weeks

Kelizabeth — Wed, 19 Aug 2020 01:55:59 GMT

I’ve spoken to my psychologist I just feel so lost and alone. Everyone keeps placing all the blame on my shoulders and it’s so heavy. I don’t know why everyone else is fine and I’m here so unsure of myself and if I was ever important to anyone