topic My friend, Shadow in Depression

My friend, Shadow

Despirited — Sun, 07 Oct 2018 11:07:57 GMT

In the lateness of the night, I am startled by noise and din
There -- just outside the window, Shadow is vying to get in.
He sees me and I see him, I know my time is nigh,
Shadow is a coming, there is no where to hide.

I close the doors, and lock the sash, and pray with all my might,
but Shadow comes right through the glass, to punish me tonight.
He fills my head with anguish, I shudder with despair.
Tells me life is crap, and death would be more fair.

All that remains is solitude; I shield my soulless, saddened eyes.
I'm lacking love, respect and gratitude; in a world that's filled with lies.
My children are still growing up, their lives have just begun.
So I tell Shadow to go away, my race has not yet run.

At times like this he torments me, and talks about the end,
but in my heart I know he jests, for Shadow is my friend.
Shadow may be appear evil, malignant and very bad
however there are those times, when he allows me to be glad.

Shadow lets me celebrate, with kids, on their birthdays
and to make them happy at special times, like Easter and Christmas day.
As long as I remember, it's for their happiness and not for mine
Shadow won't punish me, and everything will be fine.

Sometimes I wish Shadow gone, and hope he'd forget me,
but then I would be truly alone....

I am lost.

My friend, Shadow

quirkywords — Mon, 08 Oct 2018 01:58:02 GMT

Despirited,

What a very moving and poignant poem.

Thanks for sharing it with us.

Welcome to the forum . This is a friendly , caring and supportive community.

I can feel your pain through your words and images. I am sorry you are feeling in such a dark place and you are feeling so lost.

I like the way the shadow may be bad but helps yo u be glad an enjoy your childrens birthdays so I can see how ambivalent you are about the shadow.

If you want to tell us a bit more about you and what is happening .

Thanks again for sharing you very special poem.

Quirky

My friend, Shadow

baet123 — Mon, 08 Oct 2018 03:32:49 GMT

Hi Despirited,

Welcome to the forums. Great to have you here. Like quirky mentioned above, I was moved by this poem. Thank you for sharing it with us and it is extremely relatable.

Sorry to hear that you are in a dark place at present and have been through quite a bit but it does get better. I can tell you are an extremely caring and loving father and that is amazing.

Have you reached out before or consulted any health professionals? That may be an option to consider.

I look forward to hearing more from you in the future and would love to know more about you and your situation, as long as your comfortable doing so.

All the best,

Nick.