topic I hate myself in Depression

I hate myself

Dejena — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 18:36:35 GMT

Ihatemyself

I hate myself

therising — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 18:52:01 GMT

Hi Dejena

I feel so deeply for you as you face the torturous feelings that come with self hate. Self hatred is a truly horrible experience no one can relate to unless they've felt the intensity of it for themself.

Feel completely free to come back here anytime to fully express yourself in any way you feel the need. There is nothing worse than when we say to someone 'I hate myself so much' and they respond with 'Don't say that!' It can leave us feeling so shut down. When all we wish for is an invitation to open up, so we can vent and make better sense of things, 'Don't say that!' takes away that invitation. It is unfair and in some ways cruel.

Anytime Dejena, the invitation's open.

🙂

I hate myself

Guest9337 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 06:46:14 GMT

G'day Dejena,

Welcome to bb forums.

I am well experienced with feeling hatred.

I suggest you closely examine the specifics of what you hate about yourself, and set goals towards feeling love for yourself.

So for example, I hate being obese. Thus I eat less, in an effort to be less obese and thus feel less hate.

Can you do something like that?

I hate myself

quirkywords — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 08:22:57 GMT

Dejena

Thanks so much for your post and expressing yourself. Many reading your words like me know what self hatred feels like. Sometimes it is hard to express what that feels like.
You are not alone and we are listening.

I hate myself

Sunflower3 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 09:16:52 GMT

I do to. I can sympathise with you. You are wanted as much as it feels like like otherwise.

💕 you are loved 💕

I hate myself

Dejena — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 14:15:17 GMT

What's the point in staying safe when u can end the pain instantly by dying

I hate myself

Dejena — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 14:15:51 GMT

Thanks.

I hate myself

Dejena — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 14:19:26 GMT

You are going to make me cry🥺.

"Don't say that" is not helpful. It's like saying shut your mouth.

What's the point in staying safe when u can end the pain instantly by dying

I want to block everyone that doesn't talk to me anymore.

I hate myself

Dejena — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 14:20:37 GMT

Thanks. Maybe I can, but III just stop trying after 2 days

I hate myself

Dejena — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 14:21:48 GMT

It's awful. I have suicidal thoughts and other thoughts that make me feel crazy.

I hate myself

Sophie_M — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 14:24:20 GMT

Dear Dejena,

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you.

Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we're worried about you.
We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it.

I hate myself

Guest9337 — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 14:33:46 GMT

Dejena said:Thanks. Maybe I can, but III just stop trying after 2 days

Ok, you'll stop trying after two days. There's something to work with.

What loving thoughts or action can you take over the next two days?

but let's not dismiss your hate either, hate is powerful either undirected or directed... so...

Do you hate the idea that on the third day of doing loving thoughts or actions, you will stop those loving actions?

I hate myself

therising — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 20:19:00 GMT

Hi Dejena

I'm wondering if you find there are a lot of things that feel depressing. I find there are a lot of things that can be potentially depressing but it's like you don't realise until you can really feel the down. When you're tolerating things without feeling so down, life is bearable. When those same things become intolerable, the intensity of the down can be mind altering. It's like life can go from tolerable (life's okay) to intolerable (I don't like life) to completely intolerable (I can't stand life).

Some downers can be hard to pick initially. For example, you could have 5 close friends. One of those friends no longer contacting you can lead you to feel a little down but not noticeably. Two more of those friends cutting ties can begin to feel intolerable. The remaining 2 drifting out of your life can feel completely intolerable and downright depressing, especially if you need the support, reassurance, guidance and inspiration. The question might very well be 'Do I cut ties completely with 'fair weather' friends (people who only show up when everything's sunny)?' Another question, 'Do I actively search for support, reassurance, guidance and inspiration in places where I suspect or know I'll find it?' It can become a major challenge, perhaps one of the greatest in our life, but I believe we are designed to be seekers of support, reassurance, guidance and inspiration. To identify our self as 'a seeker', as opposed to 'hopeless' can change our relationship with life. As I say, definitely a hard task at times. Dejena, if you weren't a natural seeker you wouldn't have come here.

I'm wondering whether you're sensitive enough to actually feel when people are bringing you down. Personally, I can feel myself getting both worked up to anger when I can't tolerate something as well as feeling myself becoming down through intolerance of some nature. For me, that down feeling can sometimes feel like heartache, a slight aching in the chest, around the heart. If it's intense enough, it'll work it's way out through words and/or tears. I find the feelings that come with inspiration are entirely different. Sometimes, when inspiration has been sorely lacking in life, we can forget this feeling. We can even come to desperately long for it. Depression is cruel, the way it leads us to forget our self and our search for inspiration. Depression is a cruel form of amnesia.

🙂