topic New Member in Depression

New Member

Jen27 — Tue, 27 Nov 2018 10:18:24 GMT

Hi, I just joined today.

I've been battling with depression for the last 10 years. Thought I had it under control for the last few, but lost my job about 6 months ago and I seem to have fallen into the hole again.

Went to first appointment with a psychologist today. Got a good vibe from him and think he can help. Only it's stirred up a lot of memories that I haven't visited for a while.

Any advice on how to calm down your mind when you start over thinking and over analysing?

Anyway hello all and thanks for listening/reading.

New Member

smallwolf — Tue, 27 Nov 2018 12:30:12 GMT

Hi Jen27,

Welcome to beyond blue. This is safe, caring and supportive environment with many of the users in similar situations, battling depression or anxiety or both etc. So we all have the lived experience. Yay! *sarcasm*

Firstly, I want to commend you for taking action and seeing a psychologist. People told me I was smart, brave when I told them I was seeing a psychologist. And it will stir up memories, but remember in the long term this is for your benefit.

You asked about how to calm down.... Put simply (easier said than done) it is having distraction and coping techniques so that when your mind starts racing, you have some tools that you can use or rely on. You will find some of these ideas on the grounding and mindfulness threads on the forum. Though just be aware that what works for one person might not work for another. So a little bit of exploration needed.

There is also (guided) meditations you can do. Or deep breathing exercises. You can download apps onto your phone for these. Good apps include calm, smiling mind, relax melodies. (Shameless plug... I started "A guided meditation" thread on the forum also.)

Then if the above all fail I also have prayer (worry) beads that I can play with, using a mantra of some sort. Of course, music and walking can also help.

So, a lot of ideas here, and sorry about the relapse, but you will make it through this and reclaim whatever becomes your (new) normal. I was speaking about this my psychiatrist today. Hope some of this helps,

Tim

New Member

baet123 — Tue, 27 Nov 2018 12:33:05 GMT

Hey Jen,

Welcome to beyond blue and it is really great to have you here and thank you for sharing your story with us.

I along with many of us on this site can absolutely relate to what you are experiencing and have experienced throughout your life relating to your mental health condition and struggles. You probably hear this often but you are not alone and I am glad you have come to these forums and I hope that they are beneficial to your journey.

Sorry to hear that you lost your job six months ago. That sucks but it is extremely encouraging that you are actively seeking treatment and this is something you should be extremely proud of. It seems as if your extremely aware of your thoughts, feelings and emotions and this should leave you in good stead to overcome your current challenges.

It is awesome that your first appointment with your psychologist went well and the client-professional relationship is one that should not be overlooked. It is extremely important that you feel and enjoy a great working and personal relationship with your health professionals as this goes a long way to improving your condition and assisting you on your road to recovery and throughout your treatment.

Its completely normal for emotions to be brought up that you haven't visited in a while and this often brings out raw emotions and feelings which we have often shut away and avoided in the past. I am not a very emotional person but I even cried and got chocked up during a few sessions with my psychologist/psychiatrist, however, getting those emotions out and talking about touchy subjects is extremely positive in the long run.

In terms of calming your mind down and overthinking and over analysing less, here are a few things you can look into:

1) Always keep things in perspective and look at the bigger picture.

2) Always remind yourself you can't control everything and it is important to focus on things you can control rather than things you can't.

3) Distract yourself - keep your mind preoccupied and focussed on other things as much as possible.

4) Express your emotions regularly and keep a journal or a diary where you will be able to log everything and explore patterns of thoughts and behaviour with your psychologist.

May I also ask whether you are on medication for your depression? I believe that therapy in conjunction with medication is the best approach to treating and beating mental health conditions.

Hope this helps and look forward to hearing from you again.

Nick.

New Member

Jen27 — Tue, 27 Nov 2018 13:25:38 GMT

Tim,

Thank you so much for your reply and ideas. I will look into the app's you suggested.

I like the idea of the prayer beads as I find I'm very fidgety atm.

Relapsing is really hard I feel like I've been here before, I did the work and I was coping. It's like winning a marathon then being told you've been disqualified and you have to go back to the beginning.

Jen

New Member

Jen27 — Tue, 27 Nov 2018 13:42:47 GMT

Nick,

Thank you very much for your reply.

Yes I am on AD's, have been for a long time. I started getting really low and kept missing days, taking the tablets sporadically. Not helpful I know, but have given myself one immediate goal, taking them regularly again. So hopefully that will help.

I was feeling positive after seeing the psychologist today, until we went to make a next appointment and he's booked out for whole of December. I can't see him again till 2nd week of next year.

That's why I looked up this site, I know I can't do this alone and 6 weeks seems like a long time. So thank you again for listening, it really means a lot.

Jen

New Member

baet123 — Tue, 27 Nov 2018 23:33:10 GMT

Hey Jen,

Not a problem at all!

Taking them regularly is really important. Long term sustained medication is a fundamental component of the recovery process and getting better. Medication addresses many issues but medication must be taken regularly and taking them sporadically as you mentioned won't provide any great benefit to your condition.

Setting yourself small, realistic and achievable short term goals is a great strategy and is excellent thinking on your part. Slow and steady wins the race and putting in place and achieving small goals ultimately leads to being able to reach your ultimate goal. Start off small with your goals and progress slowly!

This time of year often makes booking an appointment with a health professional quite difficult so I would call up and ensure you are on the cancellation list as regular sessions are super important to your condition. I would even ask if you could see your psychologist after hours or arrange a one off session.

You aren't alone and we are always here for you Jen.

Remember, there are services which you can access whenever you feel the need to talk to someone. These services include:

Mindspot Clinic - 1800 61 44 34 (a national clinic that provides free online and telephone assessment and treatment for Australian adults with stress, worry, anxiety, low mood or depression).

Partners in Recovery Program - coordinated support and flexible funding for people with severe and persistent mental illness with complex needs. This might be something you should strongly consider as you will have a support worker provide you with emotional support and assistance on a weekly/fortnightly basis. Great program that works wonders and you don't need to be on the NDIS to access it.

It is also worth considering phoning your nearest neighbourhood community centre or a agency including Anglicare, Wesley Mission, Exodus or Metro Assist and enquire about free counselling sessions which will greatly assist you also.

Hope this helps.

Nick.

New Member

geoff — Thu, 29 Nov 2018 17:18:52 GMT

Hello Jen, and a warm welcome to you.

To remember past incidents and/or thoughts could mean you maybe suffering from PTSD as well as depression but I can't diagnose you, but your doctor and psychologist can do this and then you will know exactly what you are suffering from.

It's naughty to only take your AD's when you feel you need them, because you won't be getting the effect they have, so virtually what it means is you're cutting down the strength of what you have been prescribed.

If you can't see your psychologist until next year, then let the secretary know that if there are any cancellations then to ring you as December is a busy month for people and there maybe someone who can't get to an appointment.

If you want to then please read the thread topics that interest you if you click on All Posts at the top.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

New Member

Jen27 — Fri, 30 Nov 2018 10:15:41 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Thank you so much for your reply.

I have put my name on the waiting list for my psychologist, so hopefully I can get in earlier.

You made me laugh when you said I was being naughty (not something I do a lot of atm, so thanks). I think you're right, my doctor's, husband and family keep asking me why I stopped taking the tablets consistently. I honestly didn't know why and had no answer. I think perhaps I was just being rebellious. Didn't want to think I needed them as much as I do. But day 5 of taking them consistently. I'm still low but the hole isn't quite as deep as before.

I've never considered PTSD, my husband suffers from it, but he was a child soldier in another country and I've never been in a war zone.

My brother committed suicide 20 years ago, and still when I get low I have flashbacks of the day he died. The memory is so vivid it could have been yesterday. When I see my psychologist next I might bring this up with him, maybe it is something akin to PTSD. I'd never considered that before.

I've looked through some of the thread topics here, and found them helpful. I particularly liked the one about interviewing your inner critic. My inner critic and I have been having words since reading that, still a work in progress.

Thanks again for taking the time to listen.

Jen

New Member

Jen27 — Wed, 05 Dec 2018 22:29:12 GMT

Hi Everyone,

I got admitted to hospital two nights ago. Still waiting at emergency for a bed to open up. The cat team think I should stay for a few days. I've never been in this situation before. I know I need the help, but at the same time I'm terrified of the unknown.

Just thought I'd reach out, hope that's ok, I know everyone here has there own problems.

Jen

New Member

smallwolf — Wed, 05 Dec 2018 23:03:52 GMT

Hi Jen,

Hope everything is OK. Fear of the unknown is also OK, but you will get through this period. You have the support of myself and everyone else in the community here. We might have our problems but we are also here for each other, so you are just as important as anyone else here.

Peace and blessings,

Tim

New Member

Jen27 — Wed, 05 Dec 2018 23:52:52 GMT

Thank you

New Member

baet123 — Fri, 07 Dec 2018 21:27:38 GMT

Hey Jen,

As Tim mentioned, don't ever feel guilty for posting or feel that you "shouldn't post". The beautiful thing about these forums is that you can use them as much or as little as you please, but it will always be here for you whenever you feel like expressing your emotions!

Are you still waiting for a bed or has everything been sorted in that regard?

The unknown is scary, however, many of us must have to enter the unknown as part of our treatment/recovery and in order to move forward and progress. Don't be too hard on yourself! You are in good hands and please don't hesitate to post, ever!

I look forward to hearing back from you Jen.

Nick.

New Member

Jen27 — Sun, 09 Dec 2018 03:08:08 GMT

I've been put in the psych ward, it's horrible. No one seems to want to help. It's all about procedures and protocols and if you disagree you get given another pill.

Everyone tells me to play nice and placate the doctor's so I can get out. So hopefully I can put on a good show when they come to review me tomorrow. How any of this rubbish is supposed to help with my mental health astounds me.

Wish me luck for tomorrow.

Jen

New Member

Hang10 — Sun, 09 Dec 2018 03:21:53 GMT

Hi Jen27,

All the best for tomorrow. Hope that all goes well for you and that you have a great Christmas. Take care.

Hang 10

New Member

SPOONO — Sun, 09 Dec 2018 03:27:04 GMT

Hi, this works for me I guess you've heard of mindfulness, this is a good way.

1. put on some relaxing music that you like or noises of rain or wind, thunder can all be found they don't relate to anything as much as music.

2. Get comfortable anyway you like I prefer laying down but whatever you like.

3. Breathe in deep for count of four, hold for count of four, breath out for count of six or longer as you feel yourself melting down onto bed or whatever.

If that doesn't work, Noah Elkrief gives lectures in a good way on YouTube and teaches mindfulness and living in the NOW.

Cheers. Spoono

New Member

baet123 — Sun, 09 Dec 2018 05:29:24 GMT

Hey Jen,

Sorry to hear that your not getting the support you desire. I know that these wards historically can be very procedural which is mainly to cover the hospital and ensure the care and safety of staff and patients. Have you spoken to a social worker there? I believe that before you are discharge, please speak to a social worker as they will be able to provide you with information on services beneficial to you and advocate on your behalf.

I know you probably don't want to be there at the moment but I also would consider whether playing nice just so you can get out is beneficial either. You must be honest during your review as deceiving medical staff is of little benefit to your cause.

Please consider speaking to the social worker at the hospital and also ask the social worker or staff about a community health centre. A community approach to your well-being through your local health district would be a good avenue to explore, if you haven't already.

I wish you all the best for your review tomorrow and hope your stay at Hospital improves.

Nick.

New Member

Jen27 — Mon, 10 Dec 2018 04:11:35 GMT

Thank you all for your kind wishes and advice.

I actually get excited when I see a new post on this thread. Being heard by people who know what your going through means so much.

Since being admitted I've realised I do have a support network. But as much as they're there for me they can never really understand. Depression is something you need to have lived yourself to truly understand.

On a brighter note, they let me have leave today for the first time in 3 days. The sun seemed brighter the wind caressed me and I took off my shoes and walked through the grass. It's the best I've felt in weeks.

Thanks again for listening.

Jen

New Member

Jen27 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 11:41:50 GMT

Hi Everyone,

I'm still in the psych ward but they are trying to move me into Parks, not really sure what that is. But I've kind of worked out that it's less security and a greater focus on therapy.

After my original thoughts about where I am, I've come to realize there's some wonderful nurses here. Some of the patients are wonderful too, there's a sort of we're all in this together kind of attitude.

This morning I was really starting to feel hopeful until an email I received this afternoon hit me like a bucket of cold water.....My landlord has decided to evict me after 9 years. Apparently they want to sell the property empty.

My mood dropped like a sack of shit and my anxiety went through roof.

Why does it always feel like one step forward 3 steps back?

As always sending you all love and strength on your journeys.

Jen

New Member

blondguy — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 13:13:46 GMT

Hi Jen

You are an amazing person Jen for having the strength you possess and wishing people on the forums your love and strength when you are going through such a difficult time yourself!

The last email you need is one from your landlord......and such a crap email too!

Do you have someone that help you deal with this while you are in recovery?

Great to have you as part of the Beyond Blue forum family too Jen

Please let us know how you are going.....when you are up to it of course 🙂

my kindest thoughts for your recovery

Paul

New Member

Hang10 — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 14:12:01 GMT

Hi Jen27

100% agree with blonde guy post. I hope you find a lovely new place once you out. It might be a better happier place for you than the one that now getting sold. Stay strong.

Hang 10