topic Just Need Some Support in Depression

Just Need Some Support

geoff — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 17:09:47 GMT

Hi all

Like many people, I have struggled through my life with depression.

I have found that recently my depression has been increasing due to various reasons, feelings of worthlessness, diminished the ability to think, concentrate and to make constructive comments back to those who are asking for help.

I am proud of the support I have provided to people in my 15 years on the forums although some advice isn't accepted, but we genuinely hope to spread light on why they are feeling depressed --------------

I know others, as well as myself, have had a relapse with their depression and how it has affected them, to know that one simple trigger to anything could cause this to happen.

Has your depression become worse through personal or work related issues!

Any support you can provide me during this difficult time would be really appreciated.

Geoff.

Just Need Some Support

Birdy77 — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 22:09:46 GMT

Dear Geoff,

You do an amazing job on these forums, welcoming new posters and giving everyone awesome advice, you even taught me how to tepsint my front door without taking the previous paint off!

I'm sorry you're feeling so low right now. I'm going through a rough time as well.

Let's get through it together ok?

Do you have something nice planned for yourself today at all? I am going to go fown to the ocean and have a swim. What about you?

🌻birdy

Just Need Some Support

Birdy77 — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 22:11:30 GMT

"tepsint" = repaint !!!

Just Need Some Support

Guest8901 — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 22:25:37 GMT

Dear Geoff,

I really just want to thank you for the wonderful job you do in helping others. When you are reading the sad stories of so many other people here every day, it's bound to have an effect on you. I'm sorry you feel that your advice is not always accepted, as that would make you feel as though your efforts are not appreciated. I want to reassure you that a huge majority of people here very much appreciate your words of advice. I know you really put yourself out there for the benefit of others, and I'm sad that you now find yourself in a worsening state of depression.

Geoff, you always have such good advice for others in the same situation. What would you recommend that someone else do now, if you read your opening post here and wanted to respond to a new poster? What has always worked for you in the past when you have felt this way? Do you need a break from the daily grind of reading depressing stories here on BB? Is there a hobby or interest you could be devoting a little more time to now?

I'm sorry I have no solutions. But I do care.

Amanda

Just Need Some Support

Ellie05 — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 22:45:46 GMT

Hi Geoff,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling. Over the past few years you've offered me kind words and encouragement when I most needed it and I'll always be grateful. Sometimes I wonder what I would have done without these forums. There is so much negativity in the world but the fact that there are people here who dedicate their days to helping strangers cope with mental illness gives me faith in humanity.

For the most part I coast along well with the use of anti-depressants but if something happens it can trigger a really bad episode of depression and anxiety. My psychiatrist explained that it also leads to PTSD in a way as you're terrified it will happen again. When I go into this state is as though my thoughts get hijacked and after a while I believe I'll never come out of it. It's quite scary but I have always come through the other end so now that I'm in a healthier headspace I remember this and just try to move on and live my life as best I can.

Anyway my point is that these really dark periods, they do lift eventually. We don't get to decide when they do so we just have to do our best to care for ourselves in the meantime. If you are having trouble concentrating and giving advice maybe it's time to give yourself a little break. Do you have any coping strategies for when you are feeling like this? I find being around animals really helps me - give your doggy a cuddle for me!

Just Need Some Support

Peppermintbach — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 23:18:29 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Sorry, it’s just a quick one from me as I’m a bit of a rush but I still wanted to pop in and say hi.

Thank you for all that you do for so many of us here including me. Your presence and contributions make an enormous difference to so many here...more than you may realise.

In a way, I must admit that I’m not entirely surprised that you’re struggling. Partly because you truly and honestly go above and beyond on the forums.

As I’m a bit of an insomniac, I sometimes post relatively early and so I see you diligently and sensitively post to so many people. Regularly, routinely and with such dedication. It’s very admirable but surely, it must be draining especially over an extended period of time.

I think you said:

I have found that recently my depression has been increasing due to various reasons, feelings of worthlessness, diminished the ability to think, concentrate and to make constructive comments back to those who are asking for help.

I am proud of the support I have provided to people in my 15 years on the forums although some advice isn't accepted, but we genuinely hope to spread light on why they are feeling depressed...

I think you have great self insight to identify the signs of when you’re emotionally “sliding” (so to speak), and that you’re trying to take steps to help yourself and reach out. Good on you 🙂

I think you do a remarkable job answering posts. There’s a beautiful warmth, wisdom and sensitivity in your writing. I feel sometimes if people don’t take advice on board, it’s not really a reflection on the advice giver (or a slight in any other way). But maybe it just wasn’t quite right for them, that’s all.

After all, you would know better than me that advice giving is a bit of trial and error sometimes. We don’t really know the people posting so a lot of context is missing, which means we all just do our best and if the advice fits, yay, if not, that’s okay too. I think the single most important thing is simply caring, you know. I feel like I’m not making much sense. Sorry...

Anyway, I’m glad you’re reaching out. Community Champions are people too. We want to support you as you have supported so many of us.

Reciprocity.

Pepper xoxo

Just Need Some Support

Doolhof — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 23:37:01 GMT

Dear Geoff,

Depression can hit us hard when we don't even realise it is sneaking up on us, then the darn thing has bit us on the bum and we have trouble shaking it off. Darn sneaky thing this depression!

As others have mentioned here Geoff, you have been a wonderful, comforting support to so many for so long. It is good to know that in some small way we may be able to give back to you.

Right now this depressive mood feels overwhelming, it does not have to stay that way. We can all help you tug away your low feelings and thoughts and help get you back to a better place.

It can be tough when our minds no longer think and behave as we desire. Over the years I have learned to accept this as fighting it just makes me angry.

Take in all the love and care that is being sent your way dear Geoff, realise how much you have meant to people on this forum, that you have dispersed so much, now it is your turn to accept the TLC and to grow stronger through our support, encouragement and care.

Cheers to you dear Geoff, rest, float a while if need be and don't give up on hope or tomorrow!

Wholeheartedly from Dools

Just Need Some Support

quirkywords — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 01:46:35 GMT

Geoff,

I am sorry to read your post but pleased you can reach out to others.

I echo the kind words of the others who have posted here,.

I offer my support but I am not sure I have any answers other than to apply the self care routine that has worked in the past.

You have helped and supported so many people over the years and now you need to be very gentle with yourself.

As Pepper said you know that advice can be hit and miss , so offering help to someone like you who has given much wise and helpful advice over the years is a bit daunting.

Do you think you need a break and some self time or is helping others something that keeps you going.

I want to thank you for your honesty and to know we are all here for you.

Kind wishes

Quirky

Just Need Some Support

Croix — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 06:20:35 GMT

Dear Geoff~

I'm very sorry to read your words, often depression is not a condition that can be completely banished, just dealt with every day as it grows and shrinks.

All the experience in the world - which you have without a doubt - is sometimes simply not enough and it starts to take over.

If I look inside myself most things others say, and even things I think of myself, don't do enough. The only real solid comfort I've found is that I've been there many times before and I've come out the other side. Life then becomes better with humor and satisfaction, and interest too. It does not really take a big change in circumstances, only a small shift in the way I see the world.

I feel sympathy for how you are now, respect for your accomplishments and hope it is not too long before things start to look better for you.

Croix

Just Need Some Support

Quercus — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 06:41:39 GMT

Hi Geoff,

Lovely man, what can we do to support you through this rough patch? Is there anything specific you need to talk about?

I noticed you immediately on the forums when I first joined almost a year ago. Noticed you would quietly do the rounds late at night checking for posts that had slipped through. Or the truly difficult upsetting posts.

Your heart my friend is enormous.

So if you need help I'm in. What can I do?

I'm not really huggy but I'll try anyway. Awkward hug and massive respect.

❤ Nat

Just Need Some Support

Ggrand — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 09:43:34 GMT

Hello Geoff,

Im saddened to hear you are struggling with depression,

You have given so much support to sa many people on these forums, you are a legend, and a true Community Champion for these forums. I want to thank you for that.

I am sad that you are not doing well, but I am pleased that you are reaching out. I'll join these other wonderful people and reach my hand out to grab hold of you also.

Please be gentle and kind to yourself.

Kindness only,

Karen..(Grandy). 🤗🤗

Just Need Some Support

Julz01 — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 10:35:00 GMT

Hi Geoff

sorry to hear you are not travelling so well.

You are always such a wonderful support to everyone else and I have found your advice & support very helpful.

i know certain situations trigger me.

let us know how we can help you

Julz

Just Need Some Support

white knight — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 11:18:11 GMT

My friend Geoff,

You already know the theory but wjile in a depressive state we rarely can extend ourselves to the reality the we will recover. That how bad this illness is.

last year in perfectly good environment of holidaying bamm! It hit hard. I even lashed out at friends I'd helped that didnt come to my aid. I was desperate.

So, we are all fragile and in many ways, we only have each other.

The only help I can give you is faith that you will be ok. As I did recently, consider a break as a kind of "change" from your routine more than a separation from the forum Change is good.

You are our king. No one can replace you.

TonyWK

Just Need Some Support

topsy_ — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 11:35:13 GMT

Hi Geoff

I’m sorry you are feeling so low at present. Your contributions to the forums are always so caring, consistent & constant. I always feel reassured when I read your replies.

I hope this tough time won’t last too long. And that you remember previous strategies that have worked. I often forget that bit & even more often I forget that I will get better (I can be a bit thick sometimes lol).

Wishing you a speedy return to wellness, Lyn.

Just Need Some Support

-Qball- — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 12:23:04 GMT

Hi Geoff,

You were kind enough to respond to my first post on these forums a while back, and it was very sound advice - thank you. A big part of my chronic depression has been linked to work (which I'very been out of for the past 5 months) when things finally imploded last year. I've taken advice from yourself and others and looked to improve my mindset when I thought I couldn't get much lower. I'm pleased to inform that things are looking up for me at the moment, and I hope you too can rely on the advice and support of the community here and around you to improve your own state.. things will get better..., keep doing the great work you do with the folks here.. many thanks again. Q.

Just Need Some Support

geoff — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 15:32:03 GMT

hi Everyone, I will respond when I have had a chance to read all your wonderful replies and thank you all so very much.

Can I just remind all you wonderful people that I log off at lunchtime as I start very early in the morning and my replies will not be all at once but intermittently, it's lovely to know there are people who DO care. Geoff.

Just Need Some Support

geoff — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 16:52:36 GMT

hi, first of all to Birdy, Mandy and Ellie, I was asked by my son on Sat if I wanted to go down to the beach, and yes I would have loved to go, but it was getting late in the day, so I declined.

Good question Mandy, well I would be asking to go back and write down the trigger points, if they have been there before and how to avoid them because if they are continual then there's a problem that has to be solved and during the day I spasmodically don't read any posts, I have a cat nap which I love having everyday where both phones are turned off.

Ellie there are many newcomers that need to be welcomed to the site, simply because they are frightened of what maybe said, of course, it's always inviting them to have their say, to build their confidence up and start talking to us, which is what they definitely need and want to do.

My dog always sleeps next to my feet and in on/in my bed, loves a walk where she can run without a lead on a street which is not a thoroughfare.

Will continue thanks. Geoff.

Just Need Some Support

geoff — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 18:34:48 GMT

hi Pepper, thank you for your reply and yes you did make a lot of good sense.

I think you are right when you say my advice may not be suitable to the person, but it is trial and error, only hoping that it will help them through this difficult time, and anyone else who reads the comment may also benefit from it, which is terrific.

We have to remember that at that particular time the reply may not be helpful, but after some time they may came back and read the replies once again where they can then connect with what has been said. Geoff.

Just Need Some Support

CMF — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 20:11:02 GMT

Hi Geoff,

i too am saddened to hear you are struggling and would like to offer my support. I also remebevwhen I joined the forums you were one of the first to respond. That was several years ago, and here we are still responding to each other, going through our ups and downs.

here to listen Geoff whenever you need to talk. Hope we can lift you through this.

cmf x

Just Need Some Support

geoff — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 22:59:52 GMT

hi Dools and Quirky, both, once again lovely comments so thank you both so much.

Time off has been suggested to me not only now but also in the past, but in all my jobs I never wanted to take time off.

When I was a builder/handyman I worked 6 days and the 7th day I was working at home doing exactly the same as what I did during the week, I get agitated if I'm not doing something, but time off the site may mean I only reply to 1 or 2 replies that's time off.

We never know how we are appreciated by the people who post their first comment or by those who have a long post because many don't say, but all it takes is for one person to say how much they have appreciated by what was said, it happens with all of us, but then all it takes is for something bad said to you that tasks the delight out of everything.

Thank you both so much for your lovely comments. Geoff.