topic Hi....rant ahead in Depression

Hi....rant ahead

Lycan — Thu, 14 Jun 2018 07:28:13 GMT

I was wondering how taking pills can fill the emptiness from inside, I have had bipolar most my life, [ Im 55} and lately it is getting worse. I have asked my doctor for help, and he gave me new pills, but when i asked to speak to someone, he said i was not covered for that with government helping. I can see a podiatrist, or dietrician,or physiotherapist. My four children have grown up and left, and i have no real contact with them apart from the looking at their facebooks. They live near their father, who played the injured party throughout our marriage breakdown, and so i am this villain who left them. { I had no choice as hubby then was in navy, and i was booted out when i asked for a divorce]

Anyway, life seems so empty now, as my whole life resolved around my boys. I live on a disability, which has isolated me. My new hubby is my carer, but he has his own issues. trying harder and harder each day to find reasons to live. We have no life savings, no friends, no assets. I find myself trying harder and harder each day trying to find a reason to live. I keep looking for the silver lining at the end of the tunnel, but its only darkness. When i reach out, im condemmed for seeking attention.

help

Hi....rant ahead

Croix — Thu, 14 Jun 2018 08:57:05 GMT

Dear Lycan~

Welcome back, even if it is to rant:) I quite agree wiht you MH issues don't get the governmental support they need. I'm a bit surprised you cannot get a Mental Health Plan though.

I am glad you have someone with you, even if he has his problems too, being alone and limited is horrible.

You did have a cat with an Instagram account, still on the go I hope. I think I mentioned to you last year we have three pets, sadly one passed away but another has come, no electronic accounts or IDs though apart from microchips.

You were talking about hobbies before, which can be difficult without money, however on thinking it over there are some very interesting and worthwhile things one can do online (apart from fundraising). There is a website for Citizen Science with umpteen projects one can do at home from correcting historical documents to locating new asteroids. You may well find something to strike your fancy.

I also remember you enjoyed British comedy, my absolute all-time favorite is Yes (Prime) Minister. I even have a poster of Sir Humphrey to keep an administrative eye on me.

You are not going to be condemned here

Croix

Hi....rant ahead

demonblaster — Thu, 14 Jun 2018 09:12:04 GMT

Lycan Hi and welcome ☺

I find that very sad that you feel it hard to find reasons to live.

I too have BP and know how low the downs take us. Do you feel this way when you're not in Bipolar?

I'm a bit confused with GP saying you can't see anyone, to my understanding especially being on disibility pension you would be entitled for up to 10 visits to a counsellor psychologist including psychiatrist visits so I might be wrong but that doesn't sound right. You sound like you need to see someone to help you put some coping strategies in place.

Where you live I wonder could you join some clubs maybe or a sport or craft group to meet some people. Loneliness adds fuel to depression. Also a community centre might be able to help you connect with people.

I'm now part of two M.Health groups which is good cause everyone gets it. Maybe you might be able to access there too. Hope you're able to

If you wanted to talk to anyone the number here is 1300 224636 which is 24/7, they're good people that might be able to help.

Before you felt this way was there any hobbies or sports you enjoyed? I walk a few hills and play table tennis. I find walkings good stress release and out of the house being amongst its good.

Hope you're able to get onto some help.

You always have here when / if you need to chat ☺

Best to you darl

Hi....rant ahead

Lycan — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 07:07:32 GMT

Thank you for the reply. I am sorry it has been awhile. i get so forgetful, and let things pile up. I still have the Instagram account but i dont log in everyday. Sorry for the loss of your pet. I am searching for things to keep me busy. I play games on pc sometimes. I will speak up at my next doctors appointment for more help.

Hi....rant ahead

Lycan — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 07:10:34 GMT

Thanks for the reply, i should have added that if i go outside i have anxiety attacks. I wish i had a friend that could come out with me just for support, but i dont know anyone. I am speaking with my doctor again on the next appointment. Maybe he will listen.

Hi....rant ahead

Croix — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 08:17:57 GMT

Dear Lycan~

There is no rush to reply, whenever you remember is just fine. Yes the little dog passing away was horrible, but the new one - again from the pound - has so much character it is sometimes hard to realize she was not always with us.

Do you have a dog now? I find it helps me get exercise and makes a walk a lot more pleasurable. It also acts as a topic of conversation with people I meet along the way.

I hope you have some success in your next doctor's appointment, as both DB and I suspect there must be some way of getting a MH care plan.

Playing games on a PC can be pretty absorbing. Have you tried any computer games with other people?

Croix

Hi....rant ahead

demonblaster — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 08:33:56 GMT

Hey Lycan and Croix 😊

I'm not sure how it works other places but there's volunteer work I did a while back through our community centre where people can take people shopping, for a drive, phone calks, a visit etc. Maybe they may have a similar service where you are and someone might be able to go for walks with you.

Good point what Croix said about dogs being a conversation starter.

Hope your doing ok ☺

Hi....rant ahead

Lycan — Mon, 25 Jun 2018 08:20:40 GMT

Hi, I'm seeing my dr early tomorrow to tell him the pills dont help me.

My main problem is I would love a friend. But they run a mile when they hear you have bipolar. My own husband doesnt even listen to me. He has admitted to me that fact.

I have two cats. They are my friends.

I'm sad, lonely, and scared. Hopefully the dr can help me.

Sandy

Hi....rant ahead

demonblaster — Mon, 25 Jun 2018 08:57:18 GMT

Hey darl ☺ and all

It must be so stressful having such anxiety leaving your house. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Wondering this might be something you might like to try later if they can sort you with meds and counselling hopefully that could hubby walk very small distances as in to start just a minute out and focus on your breathing, looking around at nature. Gradually with absolutely no time limit or pressure on yourself increase in time.

Also it's very sadly a common occurence with MH issues that many people suffer isolation and loneliness. Maybe if you could contact a MH organisation in your area some people that are in your position wanting to meet people that could spend some time and walk with you or coffee and chat.

There are various versions you may be aware of with breathing through anxiety which basically is aimed at getting the oxygen flowing and redirecting your focus on breathing only, nothing else. A technique I've heard recently here is counting from 1 to 5 in and 5 to 1 out and as you exhale say to yourself relax, evidentally this is proven to help.

Cats are beautiful creatures aren't they. I love the affection and softness of them. Kittens are adorable widdle creatures.

Hoping your Doctor appointments productive. Be interested in hearing how you go. May I suggest you ask him why you're not able to get counselling.

You know darl the people that run a mile cause you have BP can keep running imo, you don't need them with their poor attitudes and lack of understanding and compassion in your life. There are good caring people out there and in time I'm hopeful you'll meet a few ☺

Take care

🐹🐭 🕊

Hi....rant ahead

demonblaster — Mon, 25 Jun 2018 08:59:54 GMT

Oop back so soon 😆

I haven't tagged it yet but there's a thread "Self help tips for anxiety" if you do a search might be of help.

Hi....rant ahead

Lycan — Fri, 29 Jun 2018 10:55:18 GMT

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am planning on going walkie with hubby and the dr has increased my medication. I am playing with my cats more which always cheers me up. Thanks again

Hi....rant ahead

Croix — Fri, 29 Jun 2018 12:52:46 GMT

Dear Sandy~

Our cats are far to dignified to play, but one purrs a lot which is lovely. I think the thread DB was referring to is

Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

It's been going for a very long time and is full of good ideas.

I hope the new dosage helps and you get that walk.

Croix

Hi....rant ahead

White_Rose — Fri, 29 Jun 2018 17:06:31 GMT

Dear Sandy

It's good that you have returned to the forum to talk about your mental health. I am sad to learn things are not going well for you. I wonder if you have noticed a thread Staying Well/This Bipolar Life. It's been going for a while. The person who started this thread is talking about her diagnosis of bipolar, medication and the struggle to manage. It's now very long and the originator has left the forum but still very much in use. You may find it helpful to browse this thread and perhaps pick up some tips from those who have bipolar. You may also like to contribute to the conversation.

Getting out of the house can be hard when you have lost your confidence. My sister found it hard to step outside her front door. She had depression but I guess it doesn't matter why you cannot get out, finding the courage to do so is what matters. My mom used to visit her and after knocking on the door mom would go back to the gate. When my sister opened the door mom would insist she walk to the gate before mom would go inside. Such a simple thing on the surface but so hard to do in reality when you feel so bad.

I see several people have offered/suggested activities that are inexpensive and helpful. I also see you and your husband are going to start walking. That is a great idea and will help with your confidence. It's also good for your physical and mental health, cheap and easier when you go with someone.

Mental health issues are quite confronting for those who do not have these issues. You may find it helpful to look at the Black Dog Institute. www.blackdoginstitute.org.au It has more information about bipolar than BB. Open the page then click on clinical resources and follow the prompts. I find it's always good to learn about your illness because the better informed you are the more resources you have.

I also suggest phoning the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 available 24/7. Look at their web site www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au Do not get worried by the name they are great people and also offer online counselling. The service is there for those who are struggling with being here. Good qualified people to talk to. I really recommend it and I think you will find it helpful.

I think you will have seen your doctor by now. We would love to know how you got on.

Mary